In home daycare or daycare center?

[maxtomsmom]

To the OP-

I had mixed thoughts about your question to go with at home day care or a facility because of my own situation. Be very careful about how many children she/they are watching at one time. My story is a little long, but I feel I must share what happened. We used a home day care. She came highly recommend by teacher colleagues and other community people. She was doing it for a while. My 1st DS did well with her. She watched her two grandsons - one was older and just starting in preschool and one was my DS age but 5 months younger. He did well. He got to learn a lot playing with the older grandson and eventually became friends with the younger.

When DS#2 came along we had her watch him as well. I stayed home with DS#2 until he was 7 mos. Now her older grandson was in full day Kindergarten, my older DS and her second grandson were in preschool every morning. So she was just watching my second son and her granddaughter both the same age and only 3 months a part most of the day.

Later on she started to watch another girl who was two at the time. Here is what happened. Ds#2 is very active did all the physical milestones on the earlier side- walked at 10mos, crawled at 5 mos. etc. Very, very active. Furthermore, he did not speak. We noticed right around his first birthday he completely stopped progressing in every area and in some areas he was regressing. He sort of stopped walking and crawling. He was irritable. We asked our sitter if something was wrong and she couldn't think of anything. He had no bruises, was always clean and ate well (he really didn't eat much dinner so we figured he ate well). We asked our older son if he noticed anything DS was four at the time. He said he was eating and napping just like normal. The one thing I noticed was every time I came by (my times varied) he was in a pack and play. It turned out, she did have him in the pack and play, but she claimed only to protect him because he would get into trouble. The thing is I wished she had shared this with me sooner. I'm sure this was true and she was trying to protect him. We agreed mutually she would continue to watch him until I found someone else.

BTW- we have a wonderful sitter who comes to our home. I now only work part time mainly out of guilt and because we have no family support. It was the best thing we did. He did bounce back, but it took a while. He is still active, but calmed down and is ready for preschool. See, active children need to channel their energy in productive and meaningful ways. Our original provider couldn't do that for him. She did the worst thing for him. Thankfully, we acted on our instinct when we did.

 

[grlpwrd]

Whoa...simmer down! Your tone was a little defensive...

I was only reporting what I had recently heard...I was not saying that all home day care providers are evil child abusers...obviously I don't think that because my sister was one for many years as I mentioned before. I was simply saying that the OP should check licensing, ask a lot of questions and trust her gut. I would not use any day care provider I did not have a good feeling about, home or center based. Both can be good, and both can be bad.

It is just my opinion that there is a bit more control in a center based program over issues like security...although I'm sure it has happened, it's a lot harder for a child to be abused when there are so many other adults and children, not to mention a director, around, as opposed to a private home where everything that happens is controlled by one adult who works alone. What about background checks? I am sure that a good center program would run one, but what about home providers? I would have to REALLY trust that one adult, and I personally could not trust a complete stranger in that situation. Most people I know who have had success with home providers have found them through friends or family...

It's sad, but there are a lot of sickos in the world and my child only gets once chance at innocence...not something I would gamble with.

Security in center based childcare is not absolute. I know of incidences in places like Children World in Redmond, WA that abused children. Sadly, there have been incidences of abuse by one employee even if 1 or 2 other employees were present.

You didn't exactly say hdc providers are evil child abusers, but you did insinuate that there is more likelihood for abuse and unprofessionalism in your initial post.

By all means, go with your gut and check out the center or hdc out really well. I know I can check for violations online for my area. You should also make surprise visits and see if they offer computer monitoring to check on your child throughout the day.

GL!

 

[WantToGoNow]

My son started out in home care until he was two. I loved it. When he turned two, the provider went back to work full time and I put him in a center. He flourished academically but his behavior went down big time. When dd was born when ds was 2.5 I put her in the center. She was sick constantly -- hospitalized with RSV one week after starting daycare. I moved them from one daycare to another when dd was 18 mos. They didn't even know she could talk for about 6 months -- it was like she literally fell through the cracks. There were so many kids in that 2 y/o room that she got very little one on one interaction. I removed them for daycare last spring when ds was 5 and dd was 2.5. They started staying at home with my older dd. Both children are doing so much better, both academically and socially. My dd is now keeping two more little boys and dd3 loves having kids her size to play with while ds is at Kindergarten.

Each child is different -- some do well in daycare (like ds) and some don't (like dd). Since they were removed right at a year ago, neither child has really been sick (we still have son's asthma issues and dd has had 2 ear infections).

 

[NemoMOm]

What about background checks? I am sure that a good center program would run one, but what about home providers? I would have to REALLY trust that one adult, and I personally could not trust a complete stranger in that situation. Most people I know who have had success with home providers have found them through friends or family...



I too am a home daycare provider. Before I was licensed EVERYONE in my household had to be FINGERPRINTED AND BACKGROUND CHECKS

Daycare centers can be better for some parents as well as home care better for others. The parents I have now like the flexiability I allow. I have some that are part-time and some that need to add a day or even take days off and I don't charge for them as long as they clear then in advance. Most centers will allow this but you still pay to ensure they keep the child's spot. So, if you only work 4 days a week you still pay 5

 

[Tam1067]

We've always used centers. The first one was very clean and appeared nice, but we discovered some kids were spanked (against Illinois law) and teachers were treated poorly by the owners. This was a state licensed place, and though DCFS investigated, the allegations were never proven and the place is still operating. I pulled my kids out.

The second place was much better. We were there from the time DD was 6 months old until recently--she's now going to kindergarten. The teachers were great and the place is good (though not perfect of course).

Interestingly, the first place, where kids were spanked was family owned and run. The second place is a corporate chain. It just seemed to have more control; at the first place, siblings would cover for each other.

My good friend had her kids in a private home (in another state), an unlicensed place. They loved the sitter and had been recommended by another friend. They used her for about 2 years and then one day, Dad goes to pick up the kids, and the sitter is sitting on the couch rocking back and forth, speaking Spanish, while my friends' kids and the others she watched were running around without supervision.

My point (too long-winded I know) is that good and bad can happen in any situation. In my experience, you really need to look at who's in charge because if the director is good, she'll make sure the employees treat your kids well. If the director (or owner) has problems, the kids will suffer.

 

[DawnM]

I went to the center and signed him up today. The new center will open in Aug. but I went to their other location to sign him up. Our neighbors will be going there too.

Dawn

 

[wrldpossibility]

I am in a tough spot right now deciding on this. Our neighbor, a SAHM who used to be a full time nanny, has offered to watch our baby, which I would love for the ease and flexibililty. However, her two kids (age 3 and 20 mo) are sick A LOT (IMO), and due to my husbands work overseas, I will be a single working mom from Sept to Dec and quite simply won't have the leave time after 12 weeks off for maternity leave to call in sick to work when she can't watch the baby due to her kids. I have found a great facility that I am leaning towards quite simply for dependability. But the $300+ price difference a month, in addition to the fact that I love my neighbor and know she will do a wonderful job overall has me torn!

Just thought I'd chime in here...

Remember that your neighbor will probably also want to cancel when YOUR baby is sick, since she has kids too. I am also a SAHM, and I have been watching my neighbor's 1-year-old and 3-year-old part time while she works for the last year. She's a teacher so will now have the summer off. It worked great in every regard except the sickness stuff. Since we both have kids, we decided (and put in writing) that if any party is sick (me as the caregiver, my kids, or her kids) we'd cancel care that day. It was a necessary rule so as not to spread sickness back and forth to our families, but as a result, she was scrambling for care a lot. Not to discourage you from using your neighbor...mine liked our arrangement overall...but keep in mind that you'll need a back up. Her DD ended up being sick a lot, and I didn't want my kids exposed. Can you get a center as a backup? Probably hard to do that...I'm not sure.

To the OP, FWIW, the kids I watched enjoyed coming to my house much more than the center they went to the other days of the week. The center had way too many kids and felt too much like a school (these were not school-aged kids). But I'd never endorse using a sitter who is not licensed (like myself) unless it is a close relative or friend whom you trust with your life (because you are, aren't you).