I'm so torn about what to do.

[Sherri]

Some of you may remember that I posted that my son very nicely asked that we not go away over Spring Break this year. This is because we are going away for a long time this summer.
Well I must say, dh and I have been looking into things. Part me feels guilty since he asked so nicely not go, and part of me feels like he will get over it.
Most likely it would be a beach vacation. Still torn between the guilt and looking into the possibilities. PLEASE HELP!

 

[noodleknitter]

I remember that thread. You will,of course, need to do whatever you think best, but I truly understand a kid wanting some down time in his home/town. Life is pretty chaotic for kids nowadays. Seems like everyone is always running.

Good luck.

 

[mickeyboat]

How old is your son? Would it be possible to leave him home, or with a family member while you go on vacation?

What were his reasons for wanting to stay home? If it is just because he doesn't want to spend time with you, I would say he will get over it. But if there is some other special reason, you should respect that, if it is important enough to him.

If he doesn't go, you can take me!

Denae

Edited to add - would it be possible for him to take a friend?

 

[Beth76]

If you want to go on a vacation, you should go. IIRC, your son is 15, right? Can you find a friend or relative to keep him while you're gone? Really, at 15 if he doesn't want to go on a vacation you shouldn't force him. Even if you think he'll like it. You may want to give him to certain date to decide for sure (if plane tix are needed). He might end up regretting not going, but that's just one of life's lessons.

 

[Sherri]

I could leave him with my sister. But I feel like only part of me would be on vacation with one child with me and one child home.
That is correct, he is 15.
He heard dh and I talking about it last night. Just discussing it, not planning anything for certain, he told me that no one goes away for spring break. I told him, I know a lot of people do go away for spring break.
Whatever. I just think when he is grown up he will be glad that he has been places.
I guess the fact I am not getting that excited vibe that I get when I look online for our vacation possibilities tells me I shouldn't go.
So i'm listening to that inner voice and staying put. Atleast thats what my upset stomach is telling me to do.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Can you stay home and plan things to do locally? Day trips or only a couple of nights away?

 

[CathrynRose]

I could leave him with my sister. But I feel like only part of me would be on vacation with one child with me and one child home.
That is correct, he is 15.
.

My 15 y/o didnt want to go to WDW this past September, and I wish I would have left him home. You can only deal with him being 'bored' and wanting to take cell phone calls, so much and it would have been a heckuva lot cheaper. For instance - he stayed for dinner during the MNSSHP - then went back to the room to watch football. $40 MNSSHP ticket - for all of an hour at 4:15 to eat dinner....

Our next trip - planned for January in 2008 - he's not coming. He doesnt want to go, Im not taking him.

If you really wanna go, then go - but find someone for him to stay with.

Ill be taking one, and leaving one, too. No worries.

 

[hentob]

Can he bring a friend?

 

[ozarkmom]

i just know from experience that when they reach the age that they don't want to go it can be horrible if you force them. Forced family fun yeah! I remember when my oldest DS didn't want to go to the beach with us. He moped around because he didn't have a computer we wouldn't let him stay on his cell phone and every chance he got he went to the condo and watched tv. DD was worse she makes sure that everyone is miserable. On a happier note when Oldest DS was 18 we were going to Orlando and he asked if he could go .

 

[grinningghost]

I can tell you what worked for us.

When we wanted to go to Disneyland for my 40th birthday, my DD did NOT want to go - no forced Disney fun for her. She did NOT get the Disney gene unfortunately.

So, instead of letting her whine her way into ruining MY fun - I told her she could stay home with Grandma. So she did.

Does she regret that she didn't get to go? Yeah, now she does. But oh well, I let it be her call and WE had a great time visiting the Mouse in Anaheim.

Nothing worse than a miserable teenager ruining your vacation. Let him stay home with a trusted relative or friend - go have fun.

 

[CathrynRose]

Nothing worse than a miserable teenager ruining your vacation. Let him stay home with a trusted relative or friend - go have fun.

2nd this!!!

Like I said - Ill find somone to leave my oldest with, then take him with so he can grace us with his presence for an hour or so a day.

Or so I can pay $1000 or so, for his "portion" to never go to the parks, watch TV in the room and chit chat with his friends.

He wanted us to get the internet in our room....daily, for him! We're in flipping Disneyworld and you wanna IM with friends??!?!?

Thank goodness Dining was free cuz he only ate a few Table service meals. He ate Chicken Strips, from POP's food court, almost everyday - while gabbing on the cell phone.

I say lock him in his room, chain him to his bed, and go have fun.

 

[MichelleVW]

I could leave him with my sister. But I feel like only part of me would be on vacation with one child with me and one child home.
That is correct, he is 15.
He heard dh and I talking about it last night. Just discussing it, not planning anything for certain, he told me that no one goes away for spring break. I told him, I know a lot of people do go away for spring break.
Whatever. I just think when he is grown up he will be glad that he has been places.
I guess the fact I am not getting that excited vibe that I get when I look online for our vacation possibilities tells me I shouldn't go.
So i'm listening to that inner voice and staying put. Atleast thats what my upset stomach is telling me to do.

15 and doesn't want to go....leave him home, and have a fun trip with DH.

I have the opposite problem...my two LOVE to travel and will give up anything to go with us (of course we take them to Jamaica and Disney, who WOULDN'T want to go). We feel so guilty if we try to plan something without them.....(well, I feel guilty...I think DH is ok with it).

 

[Frantasmic]

Isn't half the issue something YOU need to admit: your baby's growing up.

I remember the other thread. You had a lot of good advice about splitting time, etc. Yet, you didn't go reread that thread. It sounds like you want your own wishes vindicated: i.e., yes, your son will look back with fond memories when he's 30 at all the places I dragged him too as part of the family.

I remember a lot of fun family vacations; I also remember that first time my parents trusted me, at 16, to stay at home over spring break and work rather than go somewhere with them. I got the worst sunburn of my life, but it was a treasure because my parent's trusted me.

If you start at 15 acknowledging his growing up, it's only a matter of time before he is out of the house.

The issue isn't so much with your son, but with yourself, I think.

 

[SplshMtnLvr28]

If he's 15, I say let him stay home by himself.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

If he's 15, I say let him stay home by himself.

That's an invitation to have a giant party if I ever heard one Stay home with grandma or auntie, yes. Stay home alone, noooooooooooo!

OP, will you feel like only half of you is on vacation when your kid(s) are off in college and then off on their own in a few years He's growing up, and letting go is tough I'm sure

 

[Jynohn]

We're going to Disneyland for the first time this May and my 14 year old son has already informed me that he does NOT want to go with us. I asked him for the last time a few days ago before I bought the airline tickets, but he still said he had no interest so we're going without him. He'll stay with my parents instead.

I remember at that age the last thing I wanted to do was spend more time with my parents than necessary. It will pass. But in the meantime, there's nothing worse than spending thousands of dollars to take a sulky, miserable teenager on vacation. Trust me on this!

 

[MichelleVW]

I sometimes wish my girls would want to stay home....but they are traveling fools!!! They will always be my Disney buddies though...DH would rather go to Vegas and the girls LOVE Disney and promise to go with me every year from now on...(well, when they have kids many many many years from now I'll leave THEM at home and take the grand kids with me!!)

 

[Sherri]

Ds had the opportunity to go to the Bahama's over Thanksgiving break with his cousin and passed on it because he wanted to hang at home with friends. My dd is much more willing to travel. I think girls are different then boys in that way.
Anyway, whatever will be, will be.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You are the mom. Just make the decision.


Personally--we plan vacations as families and it would be all or none until they are in college/out on their own. I don't see hubby allowing only one of the kids to stay for a week or whatever with a friend.

A weekend getaway might be different maybe.

 

[horseshowmom]

I started staying home when I was about 16 or 17 (my aunt's house and my grandmother's house were both next door). My family traveled extensively, and I just wanted to "hang out" with my friends over the holidays (like your son is wanting to do).

I don't really regret having missed out on any trips (as I said, we always traveled a lot). One or two of those trips were Christmas, but I made it fine on my own (Christmas at my grandmother's). When I got in college, I started going again.

In my case, I knew my parents well enough to know that I had better behave while they were gone , so I didn't have a problem. In today's world though, I'd probably recommend leaving him with a relative.

My daughter is 19 now and was the complete opposite as a younger teen. We always had a hard time going away even for the weekend alone, because she loves to travel (anytime, anywhere, suitcase is ready! ).