I'm so frustrated!

[*Fantasia*]

I think the reason why your mother wants you to get married by a priest or in church is because a Catholic, if a couple gets married in church by the priest, in God's eyes they are married, giving both of them the blessing.

And when married outside the church and not by the priest, then in God's eyes, both of the couple is not really married, but only on papers.

And that's why Catholic do not believe in divorce because even if they are divorvced and they were married in church, in God's eyes, the couples are still married until they anull the married and they have some months even some years before they can remarry.

I never knew this until my brother told me about this. I'm not sure if he's for real. But it makes sense though.

 

[Mousewedding2006]

Thanks! It is a good suggestion- I need to get more information on exactly what a blessing would consist of. I wouldn't mind a blessing, (I'll take all I can get, no matter what the religion!) but I just wouldn't be able to say things like "I believe in the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, baptism, forgiveness of sins, etc." that is said during a Mass.

you dont have to have a Mass during the wedding if you dont want to. the priest, as i understand it, wouldnt make you go throygh a mass, but would have you repeat your vows and say a blessing. so that might help a little bit... no promises, but it might be a good compromise...

 

[Servants of Evan]

We were married in a Catholic church though I wasn't Catholic and had made it quite clear that I had no intention on changing. Call it a little more defiant Lutheran-ism. Anyway, the head priest (Father Paul Schindler, a super cool guy) looked at me and in effect said, "You believe in the same God, it's fine with me." Our marriage ceremony did not include a Mass, homage to Mary, etc -- the "highly traditional" Catholic sort of stuff. The only caviet was that we were supposed to raise any child we might have as Catholic. With Evan's birth eleven years later, well ... lets just say Lutheran won again.

The point of this is: A Catholic wedding doesn't have to have a mass.

Servants of Evan

And a few a personal notes: Hang in there. No offence, but your mom really sounds like a piece of work. Planning a wedding is probably one of the most stressful things you can do (short of having a husband deployed in the Armed Forces) and anyone who adds stress is not working with you.

And for the rest of you, I have you to thank as well. With our planned vacation spanning our anniversary and our son's birthday, I am inspired to check into a vow renewal with my DW. It would be quite romantic (barring the four year old's, "Aren't you done, yet?")

Servants of Evan

 

[VSL]

Yes, when married in a Catholic church you are supposed to raise any children you have as Catholic. This is why my cousin would not marry his girlfriend in a church (her family was very Catholic, so they decided to elope - taking their son! oops!).

Another cousin however, got married last year to a Catholic lady - their family was also quite religious but there was no Mass or anything. Of course, their children will be raised Catholic.

It depends on how you feel - I know I just could not raise my children to believe in something I don't.
Unless a blessing doesn't entail this, only a full marriage service?

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

It depends on how you feel - I know I just could not raise my children to believe in something I don't.
Unless a blessing doesn't entail this, only a full marriage service?

My feelings exactly. I will have a blessing to keep the peace, but I will not say or promise anything that I do not truly believe or intend to fulfill. I am kind of embarrassed to discuss this with priests who have known me since I was little- I might try to find a different priest to ask.

 

[twojo21]

definetly talk with your parish about a blessing some churches arent even willing to do this plus some catholic churches are very strict about wording & mass. although your parish may be different. im one of those people who believes god is present everywhere & sees marriage & love everywhere not just the holy catholic church. this is about you & fi's marriage & your beliefs, theres nothing wrong with respecting your moms beliefs but you shouldnt contradict your own or do something that isnt whole hearted. also talk to your mom about these issues, hopefully she will grow to be more understanding of your feelings & unconditional love whether youre married at disney or in a church. best of luck with your decision, mom, wedding & plans.

 

[Codie]

There is a Catholic Priest (I don't believe he is roman catholic, but he will do a full catholic mass) that will do the wedding at Disney. His name is Father Rick Saint. Email me codie@aol.com or pm me if you would like more info...