I'm so flippin' petty!

[disneyfav4ever]

I guess I'd be petty too then. I would give her a couple different websites, and that would be it.

 

[Cyrano]

Moving this to community as most of the thread is not trip planning

 

[onnawufei]

Well, I guess the negative stuff that was said on the thread was pretty mild now you gave us more details on this family. In my opinion they seem like toxic people. Seems to me like this isn't just about the trip. If they were nicer, you wouldn't even care that they decided to go to Disney too.

Anyway, I understand how you feel and why you are jealous/upset. Most of us would be too in that situation. No one likes having their kids and loved ones mocked and mistreated. I'm sure it seems unfair that they aren't the nicest of people and yet get to have everything they want.

I hope you find a way to figure out a way to improve or end this relationship. There are many nice people out there who will treat you and your kids kindly who are probably more worthy of your time.

Good luck with whatever you decide and I hope you have a wonderful trip.

I agree about them sounding like toxic people. I'd suggest having a talk with the mom, but I know that would be far easier said than done, and would probably do no good.

Reading about what a brat the kid is, I kept thinking about a kid I knew when I was 11 or so. I swear he was the same kid! I only knew him because he was friends with my cousins (who I lived with) but I really only hung out with him because he had the best toys. Eventually his bad attitude became more trouble than it was worth so I just stopped playing with him. Maybe your son will do the same thing eventually.

 

[luvthemouse71]

OP, thanks for the update..actually, I think you'd be completely within your rights to tell your son that this kid is off limits.

And as far as being jealous, they might have more "things", but having money doesnt necessarily make people happy. Be proud and happy that you have a nice family..that is ultimately a greater accomplishment.

 

[DRDISNEYMD]

And here I thought the OP sounded jealous and competitive.

~LOL. I think she is made to feel a little jealous, because of her bragging friend. True and genuine friends don't make you feel that way. I see your point though, she could be jealous but with all of the bragging involved, I don't think that's the case here. Either way, I would get rid of the friend, like yesterday!

Just for fun, could you please cut and paste the portion of the OP's initial post that lead you to believe that they are jealous and competitive, to the point that, if they were your friends, you would've cut them off a long time ago.

~LOL. Okay, I'll just respond to the OP's first post below.

We have been scrimping and saving and planning our trip to Disney for months. We have been waiting for years to go. My kids are 9 now and we get to go in September!

This is a very big deal for our family. We are doing without a lot of things so we can go. The kids are forgoing a lot of activities for a year so we can have the money for the trip. The children are working hard to earn their own spending money for the trip. This is the one thing my kids have in their lives that make them feel extra special.

~People who are narcissistic, can have everything in the world, but they cannot stand for anyone to have just "one" thing to make them feel special! It's not fair to them! How dare you have one thing, that makes you feel extra special?!

~They have more than you have but they still need to have what you have too, only better! They have money, they sound smart enough to go to a travel agent or ask for guidance to plan their vacation. But, people like this always need an "audience", it's not worth it to them if there is no one to brag too. They want you to "plan" their vacation, so they can rub every detail in you and your son's face. It's suspect because they want to go "before" you go, so they can come back and brag about this and that so much, that by the time it's your turn to go, your trip sounds inferior to theirs! Not cool!

Here's why I'm petty: I have a friend who has a son, 8 years-old, who is friends with my son.

~I'm willing to bet that this kid can't be friends with anyone that has more than him! I can't help but wonder, if this is a reason why he is friends with your son. My children have a lot, I spoil them but they know better than to brag! It is unacceptable, if they were to go around showing off, they would lose everything! Bragging is cruel and unkind.

This family makes quite a bit more money than we do and their son is always talking about the latest great thing he or his family got. My son gets jealous and we explain that lots of people have more stuff than we do, and lots of people have less stuff than we do.

~I find this kind of behavior to be ugly. Why is your son feeling this way, whenever this kid come around?!? Bragging is hurtful, if any one made my children feel bad or jealous, they'll have to go!

~My children are happy for other children and are gracious hosts! They are very popular because of it. Seriously, I am always cornered by little kids begging to come over and play, sometimes it's the parents, lol.

He understands, but his friend is quite braggy and it makes my son feel bad. Also, my son's friend is allowed to do just about anything including riding in the front seat of the car, ride without a seatbelt, ride bikes without a helmet, stay home alone for long stretches, see rated PG-13 movies, etc., etc. Of course I think the lack of safety is ridiculous, but my son thinks his friend is being treated more grown-up than he is. I have explained it and my son is smart and gets it, but his friend is always calling us overprotective which makes my son feel like a baby in comparison.

~I had a "friend" just like this growing up, actually more than a few. My parents forced me to play with these B's, they all grew up to be that way, sorry! I will elaborate for a moment.

~One Christmas, I got two Cabbage Patch dolls, one with yarn hair and one corn silk. I was so happy until the "friend" came over bragging that she got six corn silk dolls. She went in on how much more her parents loved her to buy her six dolls. I told her I don't need six flippin' Cabbage Patch dolls, but I continued to hear how I only had two CB doll's every single day until the darn dolls were played out! I don't have time to go into Barbie! My parents were very strict, she made me feel like crap about it! She embarrassed me every chance she could, telling everyone how my parents wouldn't let me do this and that.

Ok, so I tell my kid to suck it up and we get on with life.

~I would tell my kid to NOT suck it up. And if this kid makes him feel bad, he doesn't have to play with him. It's not a big deal, just avoid him and find better friends.

Here's what bothers me: My friend casually asked me where we were staying at WDW. I told her Bonnet Creek and asked her why she was asking. She said because they have decided to take a WDW trip in June and since I had been researching, she was going to pick my brain. She wants the touring plans, restaurant recdommendations, discounted tix, etc. SO THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE OUR EXACT TRIP BEFORE WE DO!

Ewww, she was just sizing you up and she sounds creepy to me, like you don't have anything better to do but assist her. I would direct her to the Disney parks website, they have plenty of planning tools there, if they want to stay offsite, tell her about Bonnet Creek but also send her to Trip Advisor! Then cut her off and avoid her from here on out!

Can they do whatever they please on their vacation? Of course

Is it thier life to do as they want? Yes

Is it my fault they have so much money and a sort-of mean kid? Nope

Do I know this is petty: Yes

Does it still make me upset? YES!

Why? I don't know!!!

~The only reason it's petty is because you choose to put up with it for some reason. These people sound like bullies or manipulators. Why else would you feel obligated to put up with their crap?! Trust me, most people wouldn't.

I guess this is such a huge deal in our house and it was really making the kids feel special and yes, it will still be a great trip no matter what anyone else does. But his friend is still going to brag and they will probably do things we will never be able to do and be given tons of spending moeny for doing nothing and it IS going to take the shine off our anticipation for the trip.

This was all over text messaging and I haven't responded yet.

OK, bring on the criticisms. I can take it.

~They have got to go, lol. Here's the deal, people like this are incredibly hard to get rid of. If you were to win the lottery or eventually "surpass" them in the status quo, they would go "poof" and disappear into thin air. They find it impossible to be happy for others. Consequently, you may attract new "friends" who envy you and want what you have, they suck too. LOL.

~Wow, I see there's an update! I look forward to reading it later and getting caught up! Anyway, have a great trip!

 

[adoptivemomx2]

You've hit the nail on the head.

[~They have more than you have but they still need to have what you have too, only better! They have money, they sound smart enough to go to a travel agent or ask for guidance to plan their vacation. But, people like this always need an "audience", it's not worth it to them if there is no one to brag too. They want you to "plan" their vacation, so they can rub every detail in you and your son's face. It's suspect because they want to go "before" you go, so they can come back and brag about this and that so much, that by the time it's your turn to go, your trip sounds inferior to theirs! Not cool!

This is so true! Over the years we have bought things and they went out and got the same thing or better. We bought a couch, they bought a couch. We bought carpet for our hallway and they got much better carpeting for their whole downstairs. My daughter got a gerbil; not a week later, he had a gerbil. My son got a lizard, soon he had a lizard, too! I told her we were thinking of replacing the van...no foolin', the next DAY she had a new car. Surely these can't ALL be coincidences. Why have I never thought of this before?

My children have a lot, I spoil them but they know better than to brag! It is unacceptable, if they were to go around showing off, they would lose everything! Bragging is cruel and unkind.

In our area, there are people of all socioeconomic statuses. So even though we're not that well off in comparison to these friends, we are better off compared to some others. My kids know better than to brag about what they have. We have a house and have friends with apartments. They know better than to make any comparisons about this or anything else. It's hurtful.

[

COLOR="Magenta"]~I find this kind of behavior to be ugly. Why is your son feeling this way, whenever this kid come around?!? Bragging is hurtful, if any one made my children feel bad or jealous, they'll have to go!

I think we're going to go ahead and put a stop to it. I asked my son how he felt about taking a break from this friend and he said he didn't care, which tells me a lot. We really don't want to go in and police every aspect of their social lives, but I think he may need that little push in this case.

~My children are happy for other children and are gracious hosts! They are very popular because of it. Seriously, I am always cornered by little kids begging to come over and play, sometimes it's the parents, lol.[/COLOR]

[~The only reason it's petty is because you choose to put up with it for some reason. These people sound like bullies or manipulators. Why else would you feel obligated to put up with their crap?! Trust me, most people wouldn't.

[B

If you met them you would think they are very nice and good hosts and very gracious and tons of fun to be around. It's just this undercurrent...nothing overt. The little things said, the little things done...I guess this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

[pigletto]

OP.. thank you for your clarification on these issues. Frankly.. I think these friends need to go away. They don't seem to be bringing any positivity to your life. I try very hard to let little things roll of my back and teach my kids to do the same. But when every interaction is as negative as you are describing, and I have to work hard to come up with anything redeeming about someone, the choice to walk away becomes clear. Your kids will have to deal with negative people in their lives, but they don't have to be friends with them. Friendship can be reserved for people who are kind, and bring something purposeful to their lives. There's nothing wrong with teaching them that.

We aren't wealthy but we choose to spend much of our discretionary income on Disney. We love to go away and scrimp in other areas to do so. I have always encouraged the kids to be careful of bragging or making someone feel bad. I think I will double my efforts now. My kids get very excited about their trips, but I don't want them to hurt anyone else with their excitement so I am deffinately going to to reiterate that others don't get to go as often or ever, and to be very sensitive. Some of the replies made me realize how their excitement could appear to others.