I'm really starting to worry now..DH wants to move..HELP!!

[thelionqueen]

Hi all you DIS'ers and my shoulders to cry on..I need some encouragement.

Basically my husband and I are both Colorado natives (very rare here for some reason). My family and his family are here (for the most part) my children have been born and raised here and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT HERE!!

Here is the situation. My husband brought up the fact on our last WDW vacation that he would love to move to Florida. I laughed thinking he was being funny and he reiterated it again. Trying to use Disney to lure me..didn't sway me in the least..that's how much I love Colorado.

Anyway, it's been several months and he has mentioned several times that he would like to move. He also said he would move in a heartbeat if I agreed~~ WHAT!!! He has brought it up several times, but this time he mentioned how he could re-establish his business down there and actually sounds like he's put a lot of thought into it.

I LOVE where I live, I LOVE my house and I can't see me moving anywhere else, ever! However, I LOVE my husband and I am starting to sense this is something he REALLY wants to do. He has never asked me for anything, and pretty much lives for his family not himself.

Do I even consider this?? I am so totally shocked that I truly don't know what to do. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

 

[tiggersmom2]

If I lived in Colorado and my husband wanted to move....I might just have to divorce him....

Seriously, that is a dream of ours so...we wouldn't be looking to move to HOT, HURRICANE season, humid Florida (no offense to the Fla residents)

 

[va32h]

Because of dh's job, we move all the time. Sometimes, I have been very sad to do so, because we had a great house, or a great job, or the kids had friends.

There will always be other houses, other jobs, other friends. But I remain confident that dh is the only husband for me, so I keep packing, keep moving.

"Home" is wherever we are together, not the city I was born in, or the house I grew up in.

But then we moved a lot when I was a child, too. So maybe I am just a nomad at heart.

 

[MissGalinda]

Maybe you could sit down with your DH and both of you make a list. You could make reasons why you don't want to move, and he could make a list of reasons why he does (and how he could make it work as well). If you lay out all of the reasons why and reasons why not it might be easier to think about.

 

[JennaTX]

We moved to the Miami area (Hollywood, FL) in 2003 for a little less than one year for DH's job. When we came back home for Christmas, I told DH, I will go back with you to FL but not for long. We moved back at the end of January.

I was excited about the move, it was a great opportunity for DH, and I really loved our neighborhood, the preschool my daughter went to and Hollywood in general. (So this is nothing against FL).

But I was born and raised here, all of my family is here, most of DH's family is here, his parents live only a few miles away, all of our friends are here (both of us still have friends from High School), and it was just too hard to be away from everyone.

We decided that our priority was being near our families and friends, that was more important to us than the extra money he was making in FL.

Just make sure that both of you talk about this in depth, the pros and the cons to moving. It is always hard in a marriage when someone wants one thing and the other wants something different. With moving, it is especially hard to compromise!

Good luck!

 

[nwdisgal]

I would suggest trying a long vacation there - maybe a summer in Florida to adjust to the humidity and the weather to see if it's your collective thing. A friend of mine moved from Colorado to Hawaii at her husband's insistance. I know Hawaii's different from Florida. I mean you can drive on roads in Florida and get somewhere But they share some similiarities too - tropical weather, some similiarities with transient people coming and going, lots of tourists, etc. To be honest, my friend had a really hard time with the adjustment. It took her about three years to be happy living in Hawaii with her husband. She still misses Colorado a great deal. I do know lots of people that would like to live in Colorado if given the chance (me included).

 

[Pin Wizard]

Go for a few years until he's tired of the three H's...heat, humidity, hurricanes...and traffic. Then again, I loved my FL home and wanted to move it here to VA!!!!!

Guess he'll be working on you to change your mind. Seriously, unless both people AGREE on a move, I'm a believer it shouldn't be done. (DH wanted to move to CA...I told him NO WAY! But FL was an okay move for me. Fifteen years there was MORE than enough!)

Good luck!

 

[SimbaDog]

Wow, sounds just like me. I've been asking my wife too move South (Florida would be nice) for some time. We are both RI natives and met in high school. She is very close too her family, who all live in RI. I can respect that and know it would break her heart to move from them. So now I just joke about moving, especially after I come in from shoveling snow or come home from working a day with cars dripping snow, sand, and slush on me all day.

 

[Christine]

What are his reasons for moving to Florida? When you went to WDW, did you visit any other places in Florida? Did you spend a lot of time outside WDW? Just about EVERY place I go to on vacation makes me want to move there, but in my mind I know that is due to the "fantasy" nature of a vacation in itself, plus vacation usually involves a drastic climate change.

Does your DH have ANY basis for wanting to move to Florida?

 

[zalansky]

I live in florida, and though I really do enjoy it...I hear of lots of people who move here thinking it will be a living vacation. Not so. As much as I like it here, I'd much rather be near my family and I've heard Colorado is beautiful. And if you love the house you live in the way you do, that is a hard thing to give up as well. Like another pp said, try and come to Florida for a long period so he can see that it is like life anywhere else, but once you live here and are going to work and living life....the things that make it so great here, can't be enjoyed daily like they are on vacation. Good luck to you.

 

[Aux2534]

A big move and one to another state away from family and friends is a major decision and something that should take alot of planning. Ask him to check into cost of living and wages as well as the city he wants to move. After 34 years in the same house, close to family and friends we moved but only 2 hours away. Even then we even checked into how much and what kind of crime was here. Sad thing is the major crime here is DWI, and domestic abuse since there is nothing much to do in winter except drink. Unless your into ice and snow activities. Good luck and hugs

 

[aprilgail2]

Thats a big move...I would suggest that you take a LONG vacation there and see if he really does like it....or maybe you could do what I hope to do..winters there and summers here...I could never move and leave my family...my home is the house that I grew up in that is mine now, any other house will have to be my vacation home because I won't give up the house I grew up in, thats always home to me.. hopefully one day my daughter will live here with her family.

 

[Lisa F]

There is NO WAY that I would move far from family and friends ever again. It took us 5 years of saving and planning to move back near family and here is where we belong. We also both chose careers where we have many choices where our family is so that work could never "force" us to move. We live in a VERY high cost of living area and for what we spent on our modest house here we could have a much larger house somewhere else (for half the price even). Some people have said we are crazy to live where we do but frankly this is where our priorities lay. I guess other people have different priorities and that's ok but as crazy as people think I am to live here, I think the people in my life are more important to me than having a big house.

Also realize that if you move to Orlando it might take quite a bit of the specialness away from WDW for you. A friend of mine did just that, worked for Disney for a while (in a professional position) and they just kind of got "over" disney. They've been there maybe 5 years and have let their APs lapse because it was just too much all the time. Sometimes too much of a good thing can be too much.

 

[dvcgirl]

I live in florida, and though I really do enjoy it...I hear of lots of people who move here thinking it will be a living vacation. Not so. As much as I like it here, I'd much rather be near my family and I've heard Colorado is beautiful. And if you love the house you live in the way you do, that is a hard thing to give up as well. Like another pp said, try and come to Florida for a long period so he can see that it is like life anywhere else, but once you live here and are going to work and living life....the things that make it so great here, can't be enjoyed daily like they are on vacation. Good luck to you.

This is very true. We've been here for 18 months, and while we do like it, it certainly isn't like being on vacation 24/7. We moved down here solely for the weather...to escape winter, and that's why we like it. However, we were both on the same page 110%. And my DH has an excellent career where he works from home I started a small business that I had been working at in NJ in no time at all. You definitely shouldn't come here without a plan is what I'm trying to say. Also, if you haven't been looking lately, house prices in Florida have gone up *very* much. Here in Central Florida home prices have appreciated 40%+. Personally, our home is up over 50%. So, in other words, it ain't as cheap as it used to be.

I know others who have moved here recently head over to Disney lots, but they seem to be SAHMs or retirees. We don't get over there nearly as much. And when we do go, well, it's not the same. It doesn't bother us because we were essentially growing tired of Disney as a vacation destination anyway. But it is different. So don't go for Disney....

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I would probably just tell him "it's something to think about" and then do just that. Thinking about it and actually doing it are to very different things. We do the same thing every winter, LOL, but by summer we're back to liking New England again.

 

[AmazingGrace]

Seriously, I let my husband and the Air Force talk me into leaving ocean Springs and sometimes I seriously regret it. I love Texas and I'm starting to feel at home, but I'd give anything to rewind time and just go home. If you don't want to move, then stick to your guns!!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

If you love where you live stay!

I'm dying to move out of Pittsburgh. I've lived here all my life and my family is here, but if DH got a job in a warm climate, I'd be gone in a heartbeat. It all depends what you want though.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I will always consider everything with my DH. I would find out why he wants to move (since he owns the business) and then explain why you don't. Somebody need to bend here or this could keep bubbling up and lead to something bigger. Good luck at working this out. Something to consider is the school distict that you are in and what the new one will be. Your kids education is an important factor too. Now if he was required to transfer due to his job, I would then have said to start packing.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I moved away from my family in April to Texas, but then again we lived in Missouri and I have been dying to move for YEARS.

Simply put you need to do a Pro/Con sheet, spell everything out on paper so it is clear. Then work the REAL NUMBERS $$$$, house, business, etc...

Moving itself cost us $28,000, when all is said and done, includes realty fees. This is based on a 300,000 house. If your house is more, then the cost will be higher.

 

[diznygirl]

I agree with the others that said a vacation is a fantasy of what it would be like to really live somewhere - it is not reality. We had been out here a lot to visit family - trips that sometimes included Disney, sometimes didn't. But we knew what Central Florida was like off-site. For us, coming from Southern California, the LACK of traffic and LOWER cost of living really drew us here!

I admit that I miss all my drs, our church family, friends, and even our grocery store. But here we found great drs, a new church family, new friends and Publix (well, not everything is perfect!) Plus a lot of other things that we wouldn't have had in L.A.

You have to decide what it is you want for yourselves and your family and then plan accordingly. Just because it was a great vacation, doesn't mean you should move there.