IM messages---dumping / how to

[Katie]

okay,,,all you mom's...how do I go about "dumping" my kids IM messages so I can read them later. There has been some issues in my kids"community" and several parents are having them monitored/saved on their computer to read/monitor ect.

Anybody know how exactly this works????? Do my children know???? Just would like to get the whole story on some of the things that go on..not just "their" story....by the way..they are 14 and 11. Both use AIM, I think!

I try and monitor by the old-fashioned way...hey wait..I have to read that....but I can't be there every minute/every day!

Just wondering!

katie

 

[WDWHound]

OK, I dont use IM (it annoys the heck out of me and its a virus risk), but I did some poking around. Apparently there is software available that will log AIM messages. Here is a link to a package mentioned on another (non DIS) discussion board

http://www.watchright.com/

Also, apparently AOL has a new beta version of Triton (an AIM client) that will do logging. Here is a link I found on wikipedia.

http://beta.aol.com/projects/tritonbeta/

Hope this helps.

 

[DrCavin]

Currently AIM does not have logging, Yahoo IM does, at least did last time I checked.
Problem with the logging being built-in, very easy to turn on/off. Now if AOL comes out with some way to do the logging & you cant turn it off unless providing a password then your good to go...

Third-party vendors have software that will allow you to log AIM & can't be turned off unless password is supplied...

 

[GoofieRuthie]

What version of AOL do you have? I have 9.0 and it has AOL guardian. You can get a daily or weekly report of how many emails and IMs they have received. You can't read them, but you see who they are from. It will also tell you what websites they have visited and if they have tried to go to a blocked site. I'm not sure what all you are wanting to find out, but this might be a good start. Remember, you can always turn OFF the IMs if you don't feel you can trust them or you can set it so that only certain people can IM them. Are you more worried about who they are talking to or what they are talking about? I know that I used to log chatrooms when I was going to them, but your kids would know you are doing it. It would be very easy for them to turn off unless you were watching over their shoulder. Good luck!

 

[Southerngirl]

I use to be able to go to AIM manager on one of the scroll downs and access their messages but it isnt there any longer. We bought a new computer and when we put aol on the new computer it didnt give that option any longer.

 

[OhMari]

You have to remember kids will say stuff on the computer that they will never say out loud. Why don't you tell your kids you want to read their IM's and if they are typing things that they want to hide from you, then it is a problem.

By sneaking and finding their conversations, if you find something inappropriate, you are going to confront them anyway, why not be honest and tell them they can't shut down the computer or the person they are talking to until you have read the conversation.

My dd ex-boyfriends mom did this to her boys. She was constantly going into their IM's and reading them. It's been like 6 months from when she first started and she is having huge problems with her 15, 16 yr old sons. She tells me how they have no respect for her anymore, they never want to be home and spend time with the family, they really have some issue's to work out, but I think it all started when she started going into their conversations.

 

[jsmith]

trillian-which is a client that will let you use aim, yahoo, msn and icq in the same interface has automatic logging-

 

[Southerngirl]

YOu are so right...kids do say the darndest things on IM...I did not confront my kids about off color remarks or profanity (my dd didnt use much of it but her im buddies sure did)....I did however, look for things in my teen ds im's that could give me some clues as to what he was up to....I didnt confront him but it did give me another clue that he was getting in over his head with a couple of his "new friends"....teens can be very secretive....I think knowing some of the inside info that I gained from the IM's helped me to be more clued in on what my teen was doing...I am sure some will say that parents need to talk to their teen, be more into their everyday life....I was....from birth, but he started to get on the wrong path and wouldnt let us in....so I had to go through the back door to get info.....If he had found out I had read him messages....he would have been furious....oh well....at that time I used any method to get him back on track....As Dr. Phil has said on his show....It is your job as the Parent to get your kids grown to 21 (that is when full brain dev. normally is complete) and to keep them safe and stay into their lives....He will be 20 in a few months and has shown that his reasoning skills have improved immensely.Thank goodness....I dont think I can take many more years of being the guard.....JK

 

[sweet angel]

Parent-tools.com will let you download a 10-day trial of their IM tracker. It's great, however, it will not work if you have smileycentral installed on your computer. I bought the full version after the trial and haven't had any problems, except for when I installed smileycentral (and their tech support cleared that up quickly).

 

[SillyMe]

Google Desktop Search

I have it on my computer and I was monitoring my dd14's IM's for awhile. I found out ALOT and I do not regret it at all. People can think or say what they want about it. I had suspicions about a few things.

She was changing the crowd she was hanging out with, straying away from girls that she's been friends with since elementary school. I was relieved to find out that what I suspected was the opposite. I thought her "old friends" were good kids and she was dumping them for girls I didn't know, which is usually a bad sign. It turned out some of her "old friends" were the ones who were doing drugs. She dumped them for the straight new friends. At least I have peace of mind now knowing that she's okay. I know which kids to watch out for, which ones are doing drugs, which ones are having sex. It's amazing what I learned.

 

[sweet angel]

Am I the only one who couldn't find google desktop search?

The parent tools thing also runs in stealth mode, meaning it's invisible. There are no telltale signs to show that it's there.

ETA: Found it. How do you know what to search for? With parent-tools, you open the box, click the screen name and voila' -- the conversation is there.

 

[SillyMe]

Am I the only one who couldn't find google desktop search?

The parent tools thing also runs in stealth mode, meaning it's invisible. There are no telltale signs to show that it's there.

ETA: Found it. How do you know what to search for? With parent-tools, you open the box, click the screen name and voila' -- the conversation is there.

Hmm, I'll have to check out the parent-tools thing. It sounds much easier than Google desktop. The problem with the Google one is that you have to search certain words and it only brings up part of the conversations.

 

[sweet angel]

The parent-tools doesn't seem to get the whole conversation either, but it gives you quite a bit. I was able to find out that DS' girlfriend was cutting herself and assorted other things. You may be able to tweak it to get everything...or maybe it's because they open and close the boxes so often that it seems like stuff is missing.

It's given me an edge that is necessary in this day and age. Also, I think my reactions to somethings my DS has eventually told me have been adjusted because I was able to figure them out ahead of time -- which in turn has made him open up more.

 

[TheBellhop]

I hate the sound of that. Remember, AIM is pretty much a conversation, only online.

 

[sweet angel]

You're 6 days younger than my DS, so of course you'd think that way. When I was that age, I'd have thought the same way.

Besides, I don't think we were discussing right or wrong...simply HOW to do it.

 

[TheBellhop]

You're 6 days younger than my DS, so of course you'd think that way. When I was that age, I'd have thought the same way.

Besides, I don't think we were discussing right or wrong...simply HOW to do it.

Ah right. Maybe when I get older I'll understand.

Oh, and by the way. If you switch your son to the "Trillian Instant Messaging" system, when he talks to people, it will automatically log their conversation. You can simply go to the screen name and check his/her log.

ETA: Here's the link: http://www.ceruleanstudios.com/

 

[SillyMe]

It figures. The kids know more about these darn computers than we do.

 

[sweet angel]

Ah right. Maybe when I get older I'll understand.

Oh, and by the way. If you switch your son to the "Trillian Instant Messaging" system, when he talks to people, it will automatically log their conversation. You can simply go to the screen name and check his/her log.

ETA: Here's the link: http://www.ceruleanstudios.com/

Yeah, but see, if I do that, then he'll KNOW something's up!

 

[TheBellhop]

Not really. Just say it's more secure than AIM (it actually is).

 

[Southerngirl]

Bellhop
I was able to read my kids IM in the past but when we bought a new computer the IM AIM manager wasnt there....I could click on log manager and it would show all of the im names that had been on our computer and the conversations. When we downloaded aol im to the new system it didnt have that.....
My ?? is did we forget to download something, did the aol program change.....Whats up with this?