I'm sitting here, nearly 4 hours after I first heard about it and I am still in shock. It's just now registering fully and I'm numb. It's like...when I first posted it, I knew what had happened and who it was and I was just "wow...that's totally depressing", but now I'm actually getting it through my head that this was Heath Ledger...the man who took one of my favorite characters and turned him into a real person. He took Ennis Del Mar and made him real and gave him life and for the rest of my life when I think Brokeback Mountain, I'll think Heath Ledger because that's the role that stuck with me the most. And I'll never get to see him act in anything new. He won't make headlines for his newest movie. And it's just starting to seep into my brain.
So, while I sit here contemplating the meaning of life and telling myself that the answer is 42, just to keep my mind off of things, I'll wear my Brokeback shirt tonight and tomorrow and I'll mourn him and I'll miss him and I'll move on but never forget.