I'm going to Disney, even if I have to run there!!

[lurkernj]

Hello everyone!

As my "codename" states, I am a lurker and don't post all that much, I am a 42 year old mom of 2 teen boys. I have been on Disboards for over three years and just found the WISH section over the weekend. I was researching the Halloween 5k for next year and stumbled upon it. After reading many of your stories, I was inspired. I have done weightwatchers on and off over the years with some success, and some failure, (not due to any part of weightwatchers), and do some exercise, but not enough.

I belong to a gym (since Feb), and force myself to go, but it only ends up being 1-3 times per week (mostly one), more out of guilt that I'm paying for a membership that I am not using. I also have a major aversion to elevators so I go up and down 8 flights of stairs per day to get to/from my office. I try to walk with my BFFs at least twice a week for about an hour. So while I'm not exactly a couch potato, I'm not far from it. These little efforts of mine are definitely not enough as I am still gaining weight.

I am on a mission to lose 40 pounds, 15 of which I've gained over the last 16 months. My weight was already on the upswing when suddenly my DH (41 at the time) had a stroke June 2010, which paralized his entire right side. It was an extremely difficult time for both of us, 3 weeks in the hospital, many Dr. appointments, physical therapy multiple times per week, me trying to work, and be there for our two boys (12 and 15 then), any attempt at diet and exercise went out the window.

I think I could have handled the disability portion of his illness just fine, but the mental part of it was sooooo much more than I bargained for. He was so unpleasant to be around as he was very angry and frustrated. He would insult me regularly telling me I shouldn't eat something, or don't wear that, it makes you look fatter. We have been together for 24 years, and this was not him at all. I'm no shrinking violet, but I let him have his digs for a while. Until October of 2010. He made a very nasty comment about my weight in front of his brother, and it was extremely embarrassing. At that point, I gave him an ultimatum to either quite the crap or I was packing his bag and dropping him at his mothers (she lives around the corner from us). Things did improve and in December of last year he started to work part time and drive again, which made a drastic difference in his morale by having some independance (and I got a much needed short disney trip with my BFF to see the xmas stuff).

Now, before he had his stroke, he was probably the healthiest person I know. He would run 5ks regularly with our son and sons friends, he ran a marathon several years ago. He didn't drink much, and never smoked, and strokes don't run in his family. A reason was never determined as to why this happened to him. Once he was able to walk on his own last September, he joined a gym and walked there every day until he could drive. He still goes to the gym every day at 5am and complains that on Sat/Sun they don't open til 7.

The major blow has been and still is that he is unable to resume running. His leg just doesn't get the signal quick enough and his foot has a slight drag when he tries. In February, things were much better between us and I joined a gym. I also made him a deal that if he could run the July 4th 5k, I would run it with him (he has run this in our town since I've known him, except last year he sat in his wheelchair watching our son cross the finish line). Well, he was determined to make me pay up, but his efforts didn't pan out and he still couldn't run. We registered anyway, and we walked it together. We were tied for last most of the race with a grandmother and her special needs grandson, but we did manage to pass them and come in second to last. My goal was to not be last and to finish under an hour. We live in a small town, and half the town was waiting for us at the finish line, even though it took us almost an hour to complete it. He has truly been an inspiration to many.

continued...

 

[lurkernj]

Fast forward to my evil plot. I WANT TO GO TO DISNEY NEXT YEAR, since I didn't get to go this year, and I'm having withdrawals. My original plan was to go next summer with the kids and in-laws (I'm one of the rare few that loves her in-laws immensely). But the kids don't want to go and MIL is concerned about the heat. So the heck with them all, I'm determined to go one way or another, even if it's solo. I would really rather go next October anyway, as I love the halloween party, and would like to do the food and wine festival. I have been following the wine and dine threads for the past few weeks, and stumbled upon the WISH section.

I know how much DH tries to get me to exercise more, and always tries to encourage me to run. I have never enjoyed running, and was never very athletic, so I have resisted while sitting on the couch with a cookie.

So, a diabolical plot was formed. I mentioned the Halloween 5k and showed him some pictures, and he took it hook, line, and sinker. He wants me to register us as soon as it opens so that we're committed. He started going to the gym twice per day yesterday so he could try some different equipment to work on his ankle. He also goes out at night and attempts to run/walk, it just isn't clicking yet, but he thinks it will. Hopefully he will get it together for the 4th of July race this coming year.

So, yesterday I read up on the couch to 5k. First I went to the gym for 40 mins, then last night I got on the treadmill to start the C25K program (not comfortable running in front of people at this point). I apparently read it wrong and reversed the run/jog times, so I actually jogged longer than I should have, but it actually felt good and I could still move fine this morning. Also, DS16 was very supportive and told me when I was done that I did a great job for a first timer and to keep up the great effort.

This has given me some inspiration that if I'm doing the exercise, why undo it with crapfood. While I don't want to go back to weightwatchers, I think I'll start the food journal today (I won't make you suffer through that). I have always found that writing it down makes me feel accountable. That's also why I've started typing this journal. If it's all in my head, it's easy to erase and ignore, but if I put it in writing, it's out there and now I need to pony up. So, whether or not anyone reads this, it's out there. If you've made it this long, thanks for reading and I will continue to post my progress!

 

[dragitoff]

We have to find our inspiration and motivation wherever we can. It doesn't necessarily matter where, just as long as we do something. Congrats on finding your motivation. Through all you've dealt with and been through, you're obviously a strong willed person and self-motivated person. To me, that's the key common thread for all runners, especially distance runners. Good luck and God bless you on your journey!

 

[lurkernj]

Aw thank you for your encouraging words. See, now someone has read it and I must follow through. Thanks!

 

[lurkernj]

Ok, so yesterday was my first full day of effort.

Like I mentioned previously, I started the C25k on Monday night, and went to the gym during the day monday (I ate terribly, so I'm not counting this day as "full effort"), so yesterday was my "rest" day from those things, but since I'm feeling very enthusiastic, I knew I wanted to do some kind of exercise. I called one of my walking Bffs and made a date for 7p. We usually walk about an hour at a pretty fast pace, and this night was no different. This particular BFF has been going to a nutritionist and exercising regularly and has lost over 20 lbs in the last few months and she looks fabulous. She's a great influence.

I was really good about my food intake also. Lots of fruits/veggies during the day. However, dinner was lasagna. I had a small piece with a glass of milk. I love milk with italian food. So not too bad.

Next up was dessert. On Sunday DH and I drove to an orchard that sells amazing pies. Of course we bought one. Blueberry crumb. My favorite. I knew this was coming, so I planned for it and had a small piece with a small scoop of light vanilla ice cream. No regrets, it was delicious. Unfortunately, only DH and I eat the pie, so it will linger for a few days in the house. I can't let it go to waste.

Today I will go to the gym again, and do the C25k tonight, and I will eat properly. It feels good to be doing something about my health/weight. It definitely carries over to other areas of my life when I'm being lazy, such as work, house responsibilities,etc. I already feel like I have more energy and am more motivated to do the things I need to do both at home and work.

 

[lurkernj]

So I'm still hanging in there! Yesterday was a great day. I was very good about what I ate, and didn't even want the blueberry crumb pie!! I also went to the gym and did the C25k on the treadmill at home. And drank plenty of water. When I feel like this, I think "this isn't so hard, why did I wait so long". Then in a few weeks, I'll be struggling and I'll be wondering why I can't just get on the bandwagon and stop eating. Seems to be a pattern that I very much want to change.

I've been trying to write my food journal in the morning in anticipation of what I plan to eat for the day. This helps me to plan better for my day. It also helps me to pack my lunch and any snacks to take to work, so I'm not at my desk wondering what I could eat once I'm hungry. There has been chocolate cake at work all week. I did have a piece on Monday when it arrived, but it doesn't feel worth it now (who wants to eat old cake anyway?). There is almost always something in the kitchen at work, which is funny since I work with a bunch of women who also are trying to lose weight.

Today is a busy day, and fitting in exercise will be a challenge. DS has an ortho appt after school, and it's my day to do the cross country pickup for other DS, and that could be anywhere from 5:30-6:30, whenever I get the call, and it takes about an hour round trip. So, I'm planning to text BFF to walk at 7, in hopes of everyone being where they are supposed to be, and hoping it won't be raining. Otherwise, I plan to go on the treadmill.

Tomorrow DH and I are taking off work to spend the day together, so I probably won't journal. We're also having a pasta party at our house tomorrow night for 30+ kids on the cross country team. I'm hoping to stay strong and not eat all the cookies/brownies they bring to these things!

 

[lurkernj]

Ok, so I survived the weekend. Didn't do great, but not aweful either.

Friday, DH and I took off work and went to Peddlers village/New Hope. I started my day with a run on the treadmill to make sure the day didn't go by and not get it done. I just had a yogurt/coffee for bfast. We went out to lunch and I got a salad (a fancy one with pears/nuts/blue cheese), but then...we found a french bakery. And I had a napoleon. I have to say, it was a little disappointing and I shouldn't have finished it. We also had a pasta party at our house for the cross country team, so there was lots of white starch, garlic bread and cardboard meatballs to be eaten (the ones that come in a bag). I ate it, but tried to control my portion.

Saturday I walked with BFFs, then went to DS cross country meet, we walked a lot there as we cheered on each race for about 3 hours. On the way home, DH felt like stopping at this awesome bakery, so I felt the need to get another napoleon since Friday's wasn't satisfying. This one was sooooo much better. It was also followed up by more pasta/meatballs. Somewhere in there was some kettlecorn

Sunday I made a big breakfast with pancakes, sausage, bacon. And of course I ate some. Not a lot, but it's all high calorie stuff. Dinner I made a roast beef/mashed pot/grave, so that wasn't good either. I did force myself to get on the treadmill last night for about 30 min. I also made some cauliflower soup to have as a side for my lunch this week.

This morning I got on the scale, and it was down 2 lbs!! I would have preferred more for my first week, but my weekend undid some of my efforts Im' sure.

I have a rediculously busy week this week with something going on every night, so I'm really going to have to find time for the treadmill/gym. today I'm going to go to the gym right after work. Not sure I'll get on the treadmill as we probably won't be home til around 9.

So to summarize my week,

I went to the gym twice
I got on the treadmill 4 times
I walked with Bffs 3 times
Ate good 4 out of 7 days
lost 2 lbs

gee, looking at it that way, if I could get to the gym one more time, and have 6 out of 7 good "diet" days, next week could be so much better.

 

[lurkernj]

I had a great day yesterday. I was very good all day watching what I ate (except a small praline someone brought from New Orleans). I went to the gym after work. I was going to try to get on the treadmill, but we were out until almost 9. I usually go to bed around 9 and read til I fall asleep.

Today is also another really busy day, but I think I should have some time between 6 and 7 to try to get on the treadmill. I'll just have to go to my 7:30 meeting smelly if I can't get into the shower.

This is just a rediculously busy week and I'm really trying to find time to get in the exercise, whereas in the past I would just use the excuse that there's too much going on and I can't get to it. Next week should be much slower and I can really focus more on the physical part, but I am proud of myself for making it a priority this week, and still making time, even if it's not as much as I would like.

On a different note, my 2 sons want to go with us for the race next Oct. DS16 says he will run it, and might even consider the half (though I don't know if I can stay up that late!). I know they will have at least the Thursday before the race off from school due to a Jewish holiday, so I would let them miss Friday and Monday. I'm also carefully plotting to go a few days before them, solo, then have DH and the boys come Wed pm or Thur am, but I haven't revealed those plans yet

 

[dragitoff]

Congrats on the loss for the week! Keep it up!!!!!!! I like how you broke out your week and realized how much better the results had of been had you made a few alterations to your eating and/or exercising. That's a great motivational tool.

 

[lurkernj]

Congrats on the loss for the week! Keep it up!!!!!!! I like how you broke out your week and realized how much better the results had of been had you made a few alterations to your eating and/or exercising. That's a great motivational tool.

Thanks! It was a bit eye opening when I looked at the summary. It's much easier to see where there could be improvement.

 

[lurkernj]

So, Day 8 yesterday went very well. Foodwise I was very good, don't think a single bite of junkfood passed my lips. Probably due to not having time to find something!

Even though the day was very busy, I had an hour around dinner time where I made dinner and hopped on the treadmill for 26 min. That's how long it took me to do 2 miles, which I was pretty impressed with since last week it took just over 28 min. I did indeed go to my 7:30 meeting smelly (though I changed my shirt and applied another round of deodorant ). And the meeting, which usually lasts about an hour, lasted just over 2 hours But I did shower before bed. DH did tell me this morning that he is impressed that I am sticking with the running routine.

Today is taco salad day in the cafeteria here at work, which is my favorite day, so I'm pretty excited. I bring my lunch most days so that I can stay on track, and also it gets expensive to purchase everyday, but taco salad day is a must. As long as I don't eat the shell and keep the sour cream to a minimum, it doesn't have to be bad (grilled chicken can be subbed for the taco meat). I honestly wanted to call out sick today (have some swollen eyes due to an allergic reaction, so puffy eyes with no makeup), but taco salad has me here. Pathetic, I know.

Today is another busy day, but I have an hour after work before I have to take DS to the ortho and meet someone to do some stuff for a fundraiser. I'm thinking I'd like to get to the gym, so that if I'm home early enough tonight I can also get on the treadmill. I'm not sure if that will happen as it's raining all day today, and younger DS will probably need a ride from school, so that cuts me back to 45 min, which is cutting it too close. Either way, I'll do something.

 

[dragitoff]

I've heard alot of models and athletes say they workout so they can eat. I agree with that. I, personally have done diets time and time again only to see the weight come off and then gradually return. You have to create a change of lifestyle.

By exercising (running, spinning, swimming, whatever), you're burning calories. I'm far more conscience about what I put into my body now, but if I want a cheeseburger and fries, I get a cheeseburger and fries. The difference is I may have one every 2 weeks rather than 2-3 times per week. I've been able to keep the 50lbs I lost off for more than 6 months now. This is by far the best I've done, but it's because I changed my lifestyle.

You're on that same path. Be conscious of what you're eating, but don't deprive yourself of every thing you like. You'll be more apt to cheat or binge eat if you do. Keep up the good work!

 

[lurkernj]

I've heard alot of models and athletes say they workout so they can eat. I agree with that. I, personally have done diets time and time again only to see the weight come off and then gradually return. You have to create a change of lifestyle.

By exercising (running, spinning, swimming, whatever), you're burning calories. I'm far more conscience about what I put into my body now, but if I want a cheeseburger and fries, I get a cheeseburger and fries. The difference is I may have one every 2 weeks rather than 2-3 times per week. I've been able to keep the 50lbs I lost off for more than 6 months now. This is by far the best I've done, but it's because I changed my lifestyle.

You're on that same path. Be conscious of what you're eating, but don't deprive yourself of every thing you like. You'll be more apt to cheat or binge eat if you do. Keep up the good work!

I like being classified with the models and athletes lol.

Seriously though, yes, I weigh my options whether or not it is worth it and how much do I even want it. I hate that feeling the next morning after I've had a terrible food day, now the food is gone and I'm left feeling gross and disappointed. If I want something, that's fine, just as long as there's not a lot of somethings in one day.

 

[lurkernj]

So another day goes by.

Like I mentioned yesterday, it was taco salad day. I of course got one. It had grilled chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, salsa, onions, olives, a small amount of sour cream, and a small amount of guacamole on the side. I did eat a little of the shell, but just to get a taste. It was totally worth it, and I don't think it was all that bad.

This week is really challenging me since I only have small pockets of time to fit in the exercise. I'm proud to say that I only had an hour yesterday and managed to be on the treadmill for 40 minutes of it. It was a crummy rainy day and when I got home, no one was there. It was very tempting to curl up on the couch with a cup of tea and watch some of my DVR shows. I almost had myself convinced. But there was the nagging knowledge that the rest of the week was going to be just a busy and I may not be able to fit it in, so I better do it while I can.

So I came up with a compromise. I dragged the treadmill from the next room into the room with the DVR, and watched NCIS while I did my thing. I've been running/walking for about 25-30 min, but the show wasn't over, so I walked the last 10 to make it 40. It ended up being 2.9 miles. I wanted to do the other .2 but only had 15 min to hop in the shower and dress to pick up DS16 from the bus stop so we could make his ortho appt. I also had to go with another mom to SamsClub to buy snacks to sell at a school function, leaving no time for dinner.

I ended up taking DS through the Wendys drive thru next to the orthodontist and got dinner for everyone. I rarely do this as I don't really care to feed them that for dinner, but they were all thankful as they were sick of pasta. I know the chili there is low WW point value, so I got a small chili for me, even though I do like the junior bacon cheeseburger. No fries. No frosty. Didn't feel like I missed them either.

Last night at SamsClub, I could see in the distance something covered in chocolate. My first thought was that it was large strawberries. It was like a magnet, my cart was instantly there. It turned out to be caramel apples covered in chocolate. There were 6 of them in a pack, but they were pretty small. I ended up buying them. And eating one when I got home. Again, it was worth it. Besides, there was an apple involved. I'm assuming my kids will eat the rest, as they really enjoyed them too, although I'm not opposed to eating another one. I'm still going to count this as a good eating day, as nothing was all that bad, except the small amount of chocolate and caramel on the apple.

I was curious as to how things were going since I feel I have been really good, so against my better judgement I stepped on the scale this morning....and it was down....another 2 lbs That is very motivating, and should give me the strength to stay the course through a very challenging weekend. I'll get into more detail on that tomorrow as I've already written a book today

Today should be pretty good. I do have about an hour after work to get in some exercise. I'll probably do the treadmill/DVR thing again since Castle and NCIS LA are still both on there, oh, and CSI from last night. Then I have a lot going on once again. I did think about dinner and while at Sams, I got a couple of those rotisserie chickens, some rolls and salad. That's pretty healthy and everyone enjoys the chickens, and I'll have leftover to put in salad or sandwiches since tomorrow will be the busiest day yet (and probably no exercise) Can't wait to get this week overwith as I hate being this busy.

 

[dragitoff]

Yay for you! Keep it rolling! I agree that fast-food isn't typically a good option for eating out; however it sounds like you made a good decision on your eating. Most places now offer healthier options. Wendy's is one of my favorites!

I remember when I was on WW and I was REALLY craving fast food, I'd get a 10pc. Nugget from McD's for lunch. It was about 1/2 my daily points, but I always felt like it was worth it. lol.

 

[lurkernj]

Yay for you! Keep it rolling! I agree that fast-food isn't typically a good option for eating out; however it sounds like you made a good decision on your eating. Most places now offer healthier options. Wendy's is one of my favorites!

I remember when I was on WW and I was REALLY craving fast food, I'd get a 10pc. Nugget from McD's for lunch. It was about 1/2 my daily points, but I always felt like it was worth it. lol.

mmmmm, McDonalds nuggets. The kids had nuggets from Wendys, and those aren't very tempting, but if the were McDonalds, I'd have to steal one or two, and yes, it would be worth it! I do like Wendys for their healthier options and the dollar menu.

 

[lurkernj]

Oh! I'm on page 2 now! And I see I have 201 views so far, so I know you all are out there!!

So it's finally Friday. Yesterday was a pretty good day. I did get on the treadmill for 30 min, but that's all there was time for. I got in a nice chunk of Criminal minds, but didn't have time to finish it. I had a pretty good day foodwise too. Dinner was the chicken I got at Sams, and I had some cauliflower soup with it, so that was actually a very low point dinner. I was going to eat one of the chocolate/caramel apple creations, but there were only two left and if I ate one, there would be mayhem between the boys about who was getting the other one. So I decided to have one cookie and a small glass of milk. The cookie was sorta big, with macadamia nuts (although not as delicious as it looked).

So today I don't think I'll be able to get in much exercise, if any. My younger DS's entire 8th grade class puts on a "haunted river walk" for 4 nights in October, as a fundraiser for the class trip. This has been tradition for at least 8 years for the 8th grade classes and is quite involved with many practices, costumes, skit sets, etc. I had originally volunteered to be a skit leader, but DS joined a skit with a group of his close friends, and two of their mothers are running it. Instead, I'm heading up the refreshment stand with one of my girlfriends, just couldn't stay away! I'm also going to put the makeup on the kids before the show starts. This fun all starts around 4:30 (actual show starts around 6:30) and will probably end around 10p, both Friday and Saturday nights this week and next. Last night was the rehersal and it looks great. However, we didn't have any flashlights that worked well, so today I need to stop at Target on my way home to get some, thus taking about 20 min from the only hour I have to exercise(and eat dinner). I'm actually thinking of taking a vacation hour so I can leave early and get in the exercise. I'm afraid if I take a day off from exercise, I'll start the pattern again.

Also, today I'm meeting a friend for lunch. The restaurant we meet at does offer some healthy choices, delicious salads, etc. So I'm not worried about that. Dinner will be leftover chicken and probably the last of the cauliflower soup. I will be selling candy bars, cookies, and chips tonight. I am hoping to not buy any myself, though I do love those milky ways. Tomorrow night another parent will sit at the table and sell the food while I'm on the path helping with the kids. No real temptation there and I'll be standing/walking for 3 hours.

Sunday is another scary day. It's my bookclub meeting. There's six of us in the group and we just have a blast (we even read books too ). This week is our halloween celebration. The book that was chosen is quite scary (and I'm not done yet). We have to wear costumes. All that is fine, but the food is just criminal. It has been mandated that there must be something chocolate at every meeting. Often this involves something warm and mushy with chocolate syrup or frosting or whipped cream or ice cream...you get the picture. There's also appetizers and drinks. It's difficult to be good at a book club meeting. I will make a vegetable soup of some sort to eat during the day Sunday so I can save my calories/points for the meeting. I will also get to the gym both Saturday and Sunday, and a run on at least Saturday, maybe even a walk with BFFs.

I probably won't be back here until Monday when things finally slow down. Have a great weekend everyone!!!

 

[Desiree]

Wow you are doing so great! I'm doing the C25K too. Sunday I will be starting week 3 and I'm kinda nervous about a 3 minute run! Hopefully it will be manageable though!

Sounds like you have a good plan going! Keep up the good work!

 

[lurkernj]

Wow you are doing so great! I'm doing the C25K too. Sunday I will be starting week 3 and I'm kinda nervous about a 3 minute run! Hopefully it will be manageable though!

Sounds like you have a good plan going! Keep up the good work!

Thanks Desiree. I just finished reading your journal this morning! You should be proud of yourself for making the decision to get back with the program.

Honestly, once you hit the 2 min mark, just think "only one more minute". Sometimes I'll get to that next minute mark and go 30 seconds longer just because I feel like I can. The real key seems to be to get mad at something. Yesterday my DS13 had me so aggravated about something, I found myself doing 4 minutes at 5.7

I've also found that coming on here to read others journals is motivational.

 

[Desiree]

I'll have to try that "get mad at something method". I've been mentally doing vacation planning, to do lists and praying that the lady hurries up and tells me that I can stop running! LOL