I'm Feeling Miserable, Anyone Know A Joke?
- Thread starter DVC Sadie
- Start date
You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is
sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the
same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and
your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the
same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out
of this highly dangerous situation?
If you do not know, see answer below.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Get your drunk as$ off the merry-go-round!
sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the
same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and
your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the
same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out
of this highly dangerous situation?
If you do not know, see answer below.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Get your drunk as$ off the merry-go-round!
Warning: Stupid joke to follow.
What did the farmer say when the cows came over the hill?
"Here come the cows, coming over the hill."
What did the farmer say when the cows camer over the hill with sunglases on?
Nothing. He didn't recognize them.
What did the farmer say when the cows came over the hill?
"Here come the cows, coming over the hill."
What did the farmer say when the cows camer over the hill with sunglases on?
Nothing. He didn't recognize them.
ExPirateShopGirl
<font color=blue>My posts are sanitized for your p
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2005
- Messages
- 5,044
What did the doe say as she stumbled out of the woods?
"I'll never do THAT again for 10 bucks!"
"I'll never do THAT again for 10 bucks!"
Sparx
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2005
- Messages
- 27,161
(this is a blonde joke)
A man was driving down the highway and a rabbit jumps out in front of his car. He tried to stop, he really did but mr suicidal bunny had other plans. The man had never hit an animal, let alone killed on, but sure as I am typing this when he got out of his car that rabbit was as dead as a doornail. He pulled it off the side of the road and he just broke down and cried.
(I'm serious. its a blonde joke. turn back now)
So this beautiful blonde woman sees him sitting on the side of the road crying over this ball of fluff. She walks up to him and says (you can still stop reading) "whats wrong?" He looks up and says that He hit this rabbit and killed it. She stood there and thought for a minute and said, "I've got an idea" She walks back to her car and gets (you really don't want to read this. turn back now. its a total blonde joke) a spray can and walks back and empties the can on the rabbit. (its about to get ugly)
The rabbit fluffs up and hops ten feet down the road and turns back and waves. He hops ten more feet, turns back and waves. Hops ten more feet and turns back and waves. It continues this until it is out of sight. The man is shocked. He asks the woman what she sprayed on the bunny.
(you can still stop reading. You don't want to hear this. trust me. )
she looked down and smiled and showed him the can.
(just press your back button. really. you'll be sorry!)
"HAIR SPRAY. revives dead hair and adds perminent wave"
(told ya. keep laughing and have a great day.)
A man was driving down the highway and a rabbit jumps out in front of his car. He tried to stop, he really did but mr suicidal bunny had other plans. The man had never hit an animal, let alone killed on, but sure as I am typing this when he got out of his car that rabbit was as dead as a doornail. He pulled it off the side of the road and he just broke down and cried.
(I'm serious. its a blonde joke. turn back now)
So this beautiful blonde woman sees him sitting on the side of the road crying over this ball of fluff. She walks up to him and says (you can still stop reading) "whats wrong?" He looks up and says that He hit this rabbit and killed it. She stood there and thought for a minute and said, "I've got an idea" She walks back to her car and gets (you really don't want to read this. turn back now. its a total blonde joke) a spray can and walks back and empties the can on the rabbit. (its about to get ugly)
The rabbit fluffs up and hops ten feet down the road and turns back and waves. He hops ten more feet, turns back and waves. Hops ten more feet and turns back and waves. It continues this until it is out of sight. The man is shocked. He asks the woman what she sprayed on the bunny.
(you can still stop reading. You don't want to hear this. trust me. )
she looked down and smiled and showed him the can.
(just press your back button. really. you'll be sorry!)
"HAIR SPRAY. revives dead hair and adds perminent wave"
(told ya. keep laughing and have a great day.)
Incredible story about an elephant's memory...
A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.
As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they were standing at the rail. The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted it's front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man. The man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.
The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made
his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.
As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they were standing at the rail. The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted it's front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man. The man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.
The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made
his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
jennyl772003
Married on Castaway Cay
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2003
- Messages
- 2,563
Why couldn't the pirate get in to see the movie?
Because it was rated Aaaargh!
Because it was rated Aaaargh!
Chicago526
<font color=red>Any dream will do...<br><font colo
- Joined
- May 6, 2003
- Messages
- 11,024
What to you get when you cross Darth Vader 
with an elephant 
?
An elevator. ele-vader, get it? Huh, huh, did you get it? Oh never mind...
with an elephant ?An elevator. ele-vader, get it? Huh, huh, did you get it? Oh never mind...
GoofyBaseballMom26
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2005
- Messages
- 1,180
Confuscious say..... Man who stands on toilet..... is high on pot!
malificentsman
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2006
- Messages
- 90
What is in Olivia Newton's John!
Gomers Pile!
Thank you I'll be here all week!
Gomers Pile!
Thank you I'll be here all week!
TheOtherVillainess
Luminous beings we are, not this crude matter.....
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2003
- Messages
- 6,406
Oh god..that's horrible. 
I've got one for ya.
A naked lady walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other.
Bartender says "I guess you won't be needing a drink."
Naked lady says..*crash..right into the library*
Forgot my pencil.
TOV
I've got one for ya.
A naked lady walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other.
Bartender says "I guess you won't be needing a drink."
Naked lady says..*crash..right into the library*
Forgot my pencil.
TOV
Thanks you guys, please keep them coming. I feel desperate, can you tell?
vettechick99
<font color=purple>Why do I open these threads?<br
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2004
- Messages
- 8,085
This one is kinda bad, but oh well...
A young woman goes into the grocery store to buy a few items for the weekend. She grabs a couple bananas, some cereal, milk, and several Lean Cuisines.
When she gets to the check out, the handsome cashier looks at her and her items and remarks, "Single, huh?"
She asks, "You could tell from my groceries?"
"No, you're freakin' ugly."
A young woman goes into the grocery store to buy a few items for the weekend. She grabs a couple bananas, some cereal, milk, and several Lean Cuisines.
When she gets to the check out, the handsome cashier looks at her and her items and remarks, "Single, huh?"
She asks, "You could tell from my groceries?"
"No, you're freakin' ugly."
Just bumping. I know there has got to be some more posters who know some jokes. 
Share this page
-
New Palm Beach Social Cocktail Class for Disney Springs
-
Orlando Unveils Plaque Honoring Historic Walt Disney World Announcement Site
-
Greek Experience Returns to The Basket by Wine Bar George at Disney World
-
Step Inside the Kids' Spaces on the Disney Adventure
-
How to Avoid Crowds and Heat at Disney's Hollywood Studios
-
Disney Adventure Brings Toy Story Fun to the Upper Deck
-
New Flower & Garden Photo Ops to Capture Now!
Disney Vacation Planning. Free. Done for You.
Our Authorized Disney Vacation Planners are here to provide personalized, expert advice, answer every question, and uncover the best discounts.
Let Dreams Unlimited Travel take care of all the details, so you can sit back, relax, and enjoy a stress-free vacation.
Start Your Disney Vacation
