If your child turned 18 as a h.s. senior

[mhsjax]

Mine tried the "I'm 18 and can do what I want" until I reminded him that he drives the car I paid for and is in my name. That I pay the insurance and gas. He eats the food I pay for and sleeps under the roof I pay for as well. That pretty much shut him up and he proceeded to take out the garbage!!!!

I like your style. It will be this way for mine also. When in high school they will have curfews, they will do what I tell them to do, and they have to get permission to do what ever it is they want to do. If they have a problem with it, then they can move out and pay their own bills.

All that being said, my kids aren't real social creatures. If they do go out and about, they really don't like to stay our late. I don't anticipate any problems with the rules when they turn 18 and are still in high school.

 

[aprilgail2]

My DS turned 18 in November of his Sr. year. Our school district treated all students the same regardless of age.
If we wanted things to change school wise, the school required that parents fill out a form to allow their "adult" students to write their own notes, call in an absences and release themselves from school. This form was purely optional, I don't know of any parents in my social group who signed it.

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At our school the 18 year old has to sign a form stating that the parents could see their report card and to be able to talk to the students guidance counselor. My daughter will be 16 when she is a senior due to the cut off dates here- I sure hope I don't have to sign her papers in college when she is 17 LOL.

My mom would have been excited about the signing my own permission slip thing except I had been signing her name for so long that the school thought my signature was hers ( only with permission of course, mom would forget when appointments were or leave and forget a permission slip)

I do that now LOL- I always forget to sign her stuff so I just have her do it starting the year out this way the signature matches all year!

 

[mhsjax]

At our school the 18 year old has to sign a form stating that the parents could see their report card and to be able to talk to the students guidance counselor. My daughter will be 16 when she is a senior due to the cut off dates here- I sure hope I don't have to sign her papers in college when she is 17 LOL.



I do that now LOL- I always forget to sign her stuff so I just have her do it starting the year out this way the signature matches all year!

Seriously, in high school a kid has to sign a form saying that the parent can see the report card? When hell freezes over. If my kid ever tried to tell me that I couldn't see it, I would kick them out.

 

[pigletgirl]

I obviously don't have an 18 year old, but growing up I was reminded quite a bit () that as long as I lived under the same roof as my parents, the same rules applied. If we wanted "out" that meant they would cut the ties financially too. It was an all or nothing thing.

 

[Planogirl]

I placed few restrictions on DS when he turned 18 and he didn't go wild. I only asked that he keep me informed and that he keep his grades up and he has. Not all kids go wild.

I'm one to talk though. I turned 18 after I graduated and I moved out on my own.

 

[AmazingGrace]

My ds was almost nineteen when he graduated. The hardest thing that we dealt with was his desire to work instead of sitting in school. No partying or acting out, just the going to school and being satisfied with that.

 

[goofy4tink]

My dd turned 18 in Oct of her senior year (just turned 19 last month). Nothing changed at all. Not sure why anyone would expect anything to change..it's a number. She was not able to come and go in school...I still had to sign early release notes.
The rules were the same...as they will be when she is home for winter break from college.

 

[mamacatnv]

At our school the 18 year old has to sign a form stating that the parents could see their report card and to be able to talk to the students guidance counselor. My daughter will be 16 when she is a senior due to the cut off dates here- I sure hope I don't have to sign her papers in college when she is 17 LOL.

When DS went to college, he signed a form giving us access. Once they are 18 the college would not deal with the parents without permission but in high school the parent remained the parent regardless of the age of the student.
With college, access was our rule, if we were paying the bill we wanted access. Honestly, we used it mainly to sort out payments for tuition and housing. Its not like a high school system that had daily/weekly updates. I did access his grades to provide to our auto insurance carrier and proof of enrollment (applied at the time) for our health care insurance.

He's almost 23 and a college Sr. He is 2000 miles away and still checks in and gives us details when he will be out of his normal routine ie on a hunting trip etc. Its a courtesy, he knows his mama still worries

 

[joviroxx]

Call be a dictator but I don't see why things necessarily need to change for either side. A kid is living in my house and Im supporting him/her, rules don't change from one day to a next just because you hit some kind of government legal age. If they want to be treated as an adult, they will need to act like it and that doesn't just happen overnight. And honestly, any kid who is saying "I can't wait until I'm 18 to..." obviously isn't thinking like an adult LOL!

Hopefully , change is gradual and there is no need to "flick a switch" on their birthday. My house rules are followed by me and my husband and we are adults so I have the same expectations.

Once you move out, are financially independent and live like an adult, things may change. But for the most part, I would think that as they grow older and mature, situations adjust. But it certainly isn't because one morning its all different.

I had people called me spoiled b/c my dad bought my car. But he was smart LOL. He controlled that car and used it as "grounding" very effectively LMAO. It was a very calculated move

 

[SaraJayne]

I obviously don't have an 18 year old, but growing up I was reminded quite a bit () that as long as I lived under the same roof as my parents, the same rules applied. If we wanted "out" that meant they would cut the ties financially too. It was an all or nothing thing.

That is how it will be here, too.

 

[ckay87]

Oh,believe me, the partying started months ago for most of them , but we parents are hearing more and more, "Once I'm 18..." or "Now that I'm 18....". Of course we parents keep saying, "You are living in our home, and so will follow our rules" but....

Terri

My 16 year old likes to say "I can't wait til I'm 18 so I can....." and I like to remind him that when he's 18 we are no longer legally required to feed and house him.

 

[disneychic2]

My DD turned 18 one month into her senior year. She didn't go wild at all, but she did get a bit of an attitude. It was difficult for her in that she felt she was an adult, but still had an entire year until she could be out on her own at college. I became the least knowledgeable person in the world. She couldn't wait to get out on her own. Once she was in college she wrote me and thanked me for everything I did for her and how much she appreciated me and DH.

Our rules never changed, and she always had a curfew, although her senior year, it was pretty generous. Once she graduated high school and whenever she came home from college on break, there were no rules from us at all. As a courtesy, she always let us know where she was going and when she expected to be back.

James Dobson, (a child psychologist and author) once wrote: "When your kids get to be teen-agers, put them in a barrel with a lid on it and feed them through the knothole. When they turn 18, close up the knothole." They tend to morph into creatures you've never seen before. But it doesn't last long. Then you get to be really good friends!

 

[mjkacmom]

When I turned 18 in HS, my parents gave me a lot of freedom! If I didn't want to go to school, I wrote myself a note. I had no curfew! I remember missing a week of gym with a gf. My mom said nothing, but giggled when we had to do several days of nothing but gym at the end of school, when seniors were done.

I really didn't take advantage of it, but tested the waters a little (before that, I didn't even get a curfew - I had to tell them my plans, and they'd give me a time, and no non-school related activities during the week).

I think they were prepping me for college, since I was going away.

 

[yoopermom]

My DD turned 18 one month into her senior year. She didn't go wild at all, but she did get a bit of an attitude. It was difficult for her in that she felt she was an adult, but still had an entire year until she could be out on her own at college.
James Dobson, (a child psychologist and author) once wrote: "When your kids get to be teen-agers, put them in a barrel with a lid on it and feed them through the knothole. When they turn 18, close up the knothole."{

OP here. Your DD sounds like my DS . He is SOOOO ready to be out on his own (in his mind, at least). He's just sure he's got it all figured out.

And I'm going to print off that quote and post it, cuz it's sure the truth!

Terri

 

[SadieDog]

Oh,believe me, the partying started months ago for most of them , but we parents are hearing more and more, "Once I'm 18..." or "Now that I'm 18....". Of course we parents keep saying, "You are living in our home, and so will follow our rules" but....

Terri

This is all so interesting, thank you! I think that we've all been good parents, tried to make minimal but necessary rules, etc, but...

Here's an example: DS knows that I'm a worrier when he's out late at night, just because of drunk drivers/deer/etc. So even though he doesn't have a curfew, per se, he knows that out of respect he should text if he's going to be out past ten, and approx when he might be home, or if he's staying all night somewhere.

I do know that the school will no longer be contacting us, he'll be able to check himself out, etc, etc. We do have Powerschool, so I can still see his grades and absences, though.

One of the parents is in law enforcement and has warned all the kids about the difference between doing something illegal as a minor vs doing it as an adult. Can be very serious...

Terri

All this sounds very familiar. My son is a senior, but won't turn 18 until the week of graduation. I do hear about how he will turn 18 soon though. I also hear when each friend turns 18. X can buy cigarettes legally now, X got a summons but lucklily they have NOT turned 18 yet and so on. Good luck to you and your son.

 

[minkydog]

I don't recall DD19 going nuts at 18. She was pretty self regulated and never had a curfew. She did her homework and didn't give us much difficulty. Dd have some senioritis but she managed to contain herself.

 

[Mandychelle79]

I tend to believe that the teenagers who do the whole "Im 18 now you cant tell me what to do" are the same teenagers who have not been allowed to "grow up" through their teen years. The ones who feel like their parents are still treating them like children, who's parents fight their battles for them, who pick out what college their child will attend because darn it they are paying for it. Pretty much the kids who say Im 18 now have the parents who will say It's my house you follow my rules.

I was lucky, my parents allowed me to gain my Independence slowly during my teen years. Sure we had our fights, what family doesnt. By the age of 16 I was making the majority of the decisions that would affect the rest of my life. By 18 the only thing that was really different was now when I went all night bowling with friends, we didnt have to wait till 5 am for my license to "turn back on".