If you told your dh you had a fever of 103 would he show even a little concern

[LuvOrlando]

When I get sick my DH tip toes around for a few hours, probably hoping it will pass. But if after a few hours he discovers I won't be getting out of bed bed, which I absolutely despise to do - I hate lying up there, he knows something is seriously wrong. That's when he says sweetly, "But you can't be sick", picks up the slack and not only takes care of me but directs the kids to help out too. He's not the mushy sort but will take care of me but ONLY when he is absolutely certain I'm down for the count, I don't go down easy and after knowing me for 25 years he knows it.

Rent some movies, stock up on PB & J and bread so your kids can feed themselves and shut down for a while. Everything else can wait. If anyone gives you grief remind them you can't take care of them if you're sick because you'll just pass it around the house. Feel better.

 

[DisneyBabies]

The only time DH has taken care of me was when I had C-sections with my two kids. And he took excellent care of me; cooked, cleaned, took care of the babies without being asked, everything I needed . . . he even went GROCERY SHOPPING and bought EXACTLY WHAT I ASKED FOR!

However, if I have a migraine or the flu/cold, forget about it. He refuses to call in sick to stay home and take care of me and the kids (of course he refuses to call in sick if he is sick either so . . .). If he has a day off while I am sick, he takes care of the kids, but won't so much as bring me a glass of water. And for a week after that all I hear is "I had a day off work and you wouldn't even spend any time with me and the kids; you stayed in bed all day." so I remind him he stays in bed when he is sick so why should I be any different? If I have a migraine, he knows he better be home on time and he is on duty from the minute he walks in the door because my medicine knocks me out in less than half an hour and he doesn't need to do anything for me at those times since I am asleep anyway.

I used to take care of him and baby him though every little illness, but I got tired of fending for myself (and later the kids as well) when I am sick, so I told him he could take care of himself. Whenever he gets a little cold now and acts as if he is dying and asks why I won't help him, I just remind him that he tells me he is too busy with the kids when I am so sick, so why does he think I am any less busy with the kids when he is sick . Of course then I get the "I take care of you when you are sick." and I then ask him when the last time he took a sick day to take care of me was and how can he think making me get my own medicine, water, and chicken soup is taking care of me and he just huffs and goes back in the bedroom .

He really is a great husband, don't get me wrong. This is just a part of his personallity. And I know why he is this way. Because he watched his mom take care of everyone when they were sick but DH's dad did nothing to help her when she was sick. He thinks this is the way it is supposed to work; too bad for him that I'm nothing like his mother .

When it really counts though, he will take great care of me.

 

[shortbun]

If women just wore lingerie when they were sick we would all notice and come running!

If it weren't true, it MIGHT be funny.

 

[ckay87]

Men are just big boys.
Whenever I get sick-like this last weekend- my husband starts to feel sick- it's like a miracle or something.
He is usually a very good husband. This behavior though drives me frickin' nuts.

Yep, that's mine too. I had a kidney stone once and drove home from work (20 miles). The pain was incredible. I crawled up our front steps (and I swear to you, I am not a dramatic person. Usually people don't even know I'm sick.) I crawled into the house and DH said "oh, you must have what I had last week."

 

[djy252]

removed

 

[binny]

He'd show concern, but just for a bit. I'd be wanting him to take care of me (ie, talk to me, rub my back, bring me water if I need it, etc) and he'd expect me to go to bed and just sleep until I felt better.

yeah thats my house too, or the usually away when Im sick. Im sick now and guess what? Yep in meetings in another State

 

[luvmy3]

Well...my wonderful husband bought some hockey tickets froma guy at work for him and I to go to. Well I got very sick at work and sent home. I was in excrusiating pain and my son took me to the ER. Well my wonderful husband comes over 2 hours later after work and asks me why I couldnt of sucked it up for 1 more day. And all he was worried about were those #&^$@!^ tickets. I offered to repay him the money for them if he stayed with me. Well my wonderful husband called a friend and went. Not knowing what was wrong. At that time they were calling ina surgeon cuz they thought it was my appendix. It ended up being I have diverticulitis. He kept calling my son and would not let him answer the phone. Now tell me how selfish that is?

I couldn't imagine dh being like that, I'm sorry yours is such an a$$.

My dad just called to see how I was feeling. He was visiting yesterday when I started feeling bad. He offered to come down and watch the kids when they get home from school today so I can rest. He lives 2 hours away. Dh hasn't called once to see how I'm feeling or if he can bring anything home for dinner, or to ask if I need anything in general.
I realize that sometimes I have to ask or tell dh I need something, and I don't mean to be a whiny about it, but it just really sucks that he doesn't have a clue that sometimes he shouldn't have to be told, he should just do. At least I'll always have my dad

 

[JessicaR]

If I had 103 fever I would be in bed and my husband would be handling everything. I don't do fevers well at all.

My husband is caring and helpful and concerned when I'm sick. Probably he gets nervous cause I'm rarely sick.

People have such different tolerances to being ill. If I had 103 fever, I would be really sick and in bed with no other option to function.

I hope your illness is short lived! I also hope your husband comes to his senses, if not smack him upside the head a little.

 

[jen0610]

DH is almost never sick. If he feels outta sorts, he'll take nyquil/dayquil and feel better in 24 hours. Me, if theres a bug out there to be caught, I catch it and get knocked out big time. For the 1st 15 years of being married, zero sympathy from him when I was sick. Made it feel like he was being put out by my being sick.

Forward to 2 years ago and his very first kidney stone. This thing whooped his butt and took names. He had never been this bad in his life. He had so much pain, he left work early and he had to crawl on hands and knees to get into the house. When he 1st got home, said he was going to wait and go see our regular dr. It was 1 am, when he got home and I wanted to go to the ER. It only took him a 1/2 hr to change his mind. 1/2 hour after we got to the ER, he had his 1st round of pain killers and he became such a pleasant person. Got home about 2 1/2 hours later with pain meds in hand. Passed the stone about 5 days later.

Ever since then, it is a 180 degree change in him. I have not heard a negative word outta him, when I or the kids have been sick since. When he had his appendix out earlier this year, once he was home, he kept telling me and the kids sorry that we had to help him out with everything.

 

[fairestoneofall]

Men are just big boys.
Whenever I get sick-like this last weekend- my husband starts to feel sick- it's like a miracle or something.
He is usually a very good husband. This behavior though drives me frickin' nuts.

This is SO my DH. I don't even get the words out of my mouth and he'll say, "Yes, my throat is feeling a little stratchy." (or something to that effect)

My allergies have been bothering me. And on Saturday night, I was extremely congested and just felt horrible. I kid you not--I woke up Sunday and he had somehow pulled a muscle in his neck overnight! So, he took heavy medication and slept all. day. long.

I will say that years ago, I was terribly ill with a stomach flu (sick for two weeks--lost 16 pounds). And he did take care of me and of the kids then. He really had no choice.

 

[krcit]

I don't give my DH a choice. If I am sick(very rarely, knock on wood) I just go to bed. I figure men do it all the time, why shouldn't we?

OP, hope you're feeling better!

 

[sunnyday123]

Well...my wonderful husband bought some hockey tickets froma guy at work for him and I to go to. Well I got very sick at work and sent home. I was in excrusiating pain and my son took me to the ER. Well my wonderful husband comes over 2 hours later after work and asks me why I couldnt of sucked it up for 1 more day. And all he was worried about were those #&^$@!^ tickets. I offered to repay him the money for them if he stayed with me. Well my wonderful husband called a friend and went. Not knowing what was wrong. At that time they were calling ina surgeon cuz they thought it was my appendix. It ended up being I have diverticulitis. He kept calling my son and would not let him answer the phone. Now tell me how selfish that is?

sorry! that sounds like my XH!!! He really would have been looking for another place to live after that. Are you still married to him???

I bought him tickets once to a Dallas/Eagles game...super good seats, on whatever line is the best. The card specifically said "for us" and WE and all that jazz....it was obvious it was for him and I.

He called a friend to go with, hung up the phone and looked at me and said, "I think it would be more fun to go with Blank."

He was truly a gem.

 

[PinkRhombus]

OP - You might need to get tested for that H1N1 Swine flu. Some cities are asking you to go ahead and do that so they can keep track of things. Our doctor's office said that they wouldn't be doing that, but we would have to go to our Health Department if that situation arose.


But unless my husband had a scheduled trip out of town, he'd end up just working from home. My bigger issue is not with him helping out...it's keeping the kids away from me.

 

[emmabelle]

DH gets an upset tummy - he's been poisoned /QUOTE]

Omg! My husband says the same thing! I'm like, seriously? Poisoned?

 

[wvjules]

Some of you have some ****ty husbands. Personally I wouldn't put up with such selfishness from a grown man that is supposed to be my partner. If you love someone you take care of them when they are sick.

 

[englishteacha]

My hubby isn't too bad when I'm sick, but he doesn't take care of me like I'd like him to. I want company and backrubs. He will check on me, see if I need anything, but otherwise I'm on my own. I will say, I was so impressed last year when I was sick with gallbladder troubles. I'd been ill for 2 weeks and the doctor's office said they couldn't get me in for 2 more weeks. I was at work and couldn't keep pestering them. I emailed DH and told him about it. He called the doctor and said, "My wife has been sick for 2 weeks. When can you see her?" They said the earliest was another week. Dh said, "That's not good enough." Miraculously, they found me an appointment for the next day. I felt so loved that he advocated for me!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

A lot of men are like that though, they don't do well as being the "nurse".

Getting the kids ready is hardly nursing the sick individual. It is simply taking over duties that a sick person might not be able to do.

My DH doesn't necessariy coddle me when I am ill--but he sure as heck steps up to the plate and takes over my parenting duties if I deem that I am physically unfit to do them (as happened over a weekend 2 weeks ago-though he balked a smidge b/c I didn't appear sick at all--just had a rock solid ick in my tummy).

And when I am completely invalid due to illness, then that whole in sickness and in health vow kicks in and he will have to care for me.

I don't care what a spouse's history is or why they are the way they are--you need to woman up or man up and help where and how needed when it comes to illness or injury.

 

[edandcolleen1995]

Oh and posts like this just end up being a huge "man hate" fest. Gets old in a hurry for some of of us that actually enjoy our DH's

 

[binny]

Oh and posts like this just end up being a huge "man hate" fest. Gets old in a hurry for some of of us that actually enjoy our DH's

wow that was a stretch! I dont hate my man, I actually love him and have been married to him a long time.

Some of us wish our DHs would things a little differently how is that hating him? He isnt perfect, nor am I. Just means I would like things to be a little different.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

He really needs to learn to be more dramatic.

Sorry but in the context of how sick he was that was funny.

If I'm sick I don't get a lot of sympathy but he will tell the kids to leave me alone and pick up after themselves and usually order pizza or something while I sleep off the plague.

When he's sick he expects sympathy though. Isn't that funny how it works?

Hope you feel better.