If you share custody of your child with your ex...

[Jennasis]

Quit being a totally hiney about it.

My sister's fiance is dealing with a ruthless, moron of an ex. The stories are simply outrageous...and so sadly true. It's gotten so bad that they literally video record every conversation, and every interaction with her (and she and her lawyer are well aware of it).

DSis's fiance finally got a judgement in his favor regarding visitation last week. Essentially he gets to see the kid every Friday from 4-8pm now because the ex summarily refused to let the kid see his dad those days for the past 6 months after fiance took the kid out to dinner to celebrate the dad's b-day on HIS night instead of letting ex-wife have him to attend a cousin's birthday party. He also gets to keep him every other weekend from Friday at 4 until Sunday at 7pm. He also had to have the judge word the judgment very specifically to state that he could designate a representative to pick the kid up from the bus stop on his visitation days, because the ex-wife refused to let the kid's grandmother (fiance's mom) pick up the kid...ever.

So today is the very first day that the dad gets to exercise his Friday 4-8...and that witch kept the kid home from school. He has a "tummy ache".

The woman loves to tell the kid things like "daddy wants mommy to go to jail" and "Jimmy, do you know what intimidate means?" or "Daddy won't let me see you." My sister has two cats that live with she and her fiance. The boy ADORES these cats. The ex is screaming that the kid (who has allergies, but not to the cats) is going to "catch asthma" because of the cats and that they have to get rid of them or she won't let the kid go over the dad's house. She even went so far as to try to word her response to the court that the dad created a hostile environment at his home by having the cats!!

The kid just turned 5 and this psycho is an elementary teacher.

My heart aches for the kid and for my sister and her fiance. The fiance and my sister do everything they can to insulate the kiddo from the nonsense. The kid also adores my sister and I am sure it makes mom ANGRY.

I'm on pins and needles waiting for 4pm...that's when my sister and the kid's grandmother are going over to the ex's house to pick him up for the 4 hour visitation.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Time to take the loon back to court. That is insane. (And by back to court, I mean to reverse the custody so that he has primary and she gets the visits.)



*****

On a side note--some parents have justifiable concerns. Last week or so we had the case where a dad decided to kidnap his son by having a frined take them via boat to Mexico. They were caught--but the mother was a complete wreck. He was arrested and will be charged with international kidnapping.

My understanding though--she was not a but about custody and honored the agreement. Suffice it to say that it is highly likely she will no longer have to be required to share her son for even 1 minute.

*****

I can tell it is likely the dad in your scenario isn't like this--but it certainly sounds like the looney mom may be.

 

[clovergirl5]

Quit being a totally hiney about it.

My sister's fiance is dealing with a ruthless, moron of an ex. The stories are simply outrageous...and so sadly true. It's gotten so bad that they literally video record every conversation, and every interaction with her (and she and her lawyer are well aware of it).

DSis's fiance finally got a judgement in his favor regarding visitation last week. Essentially he gets to see the kid every Friday from 4-8pm now because the ex summarily refused to let the kid see his dad those days for the past 6 months after fiance took the kid out to dinner to celebrate the dad's b-day on HIS night instead of letting ex-wife have him to attend a cousin's birthday party. He also gets to keep him every other weekend from Friday at 4 until Sunday at 7pm. He also had to have the judge word the judgment very specifically to state that he could designate a representative to pick the kid up from the bus stop on his visitation days, because the ex-wife refused to let the kid's grandmother (fiance's mom) pick up the kid...ever.

So today is the very first day that the dad gets to exercise his Friday 4-8...and that witch kept the kid home from school. He has a "tummy ache".

The woman loves to tell the kid things like "daddy wants mommy to go to jail" and "Jimmy, do you know what intimidate means?" or "Daddy won't let me see you." My sister has two cats that live with she and her fiance. The boy ADORES these cats. The ex is screaming that the kid (who has allergies, but not to the cats) is going to "catch asthma" because of the cats and that they have to get rid of them or she won't let the kid go over the dad's house. She even went so far as to try to word her response to the court that the dad created a hostile environment at his home by having the cats!!

The kid just turned 5 and this psycho is an elementary teacher.My heart aches for the kid and for my sister and her fiance. The fiance and my sister do everything they can to insulate the kiddo from the nonsense. The kid also adores my sister and I am sure it makes mom ANGRY.

I'm on pins and needles waiting for 4pm...that's when my sister and the kid's grandmother are going over to the ex's house to pick him up for the 4 hour visitation.

Do you know this woman personally? Who are you hearing this info from? To call someone a psycho is kinda wrong don't you think if you don't even know her. How do you know that the kid wasn't sick today? I understand you want to take your dsis side but there are 2 sides to every story and if the quoted remarks in your post came from a 5yr old, how can you be sure that is accurate? Just wondering.

 

[Jennasis]

Time to take the loon back to court. That is insane. (And by back to court, I mean to reverse the custody so that he has primary and she gets the visits.)



*****

On a side note--some parents have justifiable concerns. Last week or so we had the case where a dad decided to kidnap his son by having a frined take them via boat to Mexico. They were caught--but the mother was a complete wreck. He was arrested and will be charged with international kidnapping.

My understanding though--she was not a but about custody and honored the agreement. Suffice it to say that it is highly likely she will no longer have to be required to share her son for even 1 minute.

*****

I can tell it is likely the dad in your scenario isn't like this--but it certainly sounds like the looney mom may be.

**NODS HEAD VIGOROUSLY**

Yes!! this is why they had to go back to court and get a judge to smack her upside the head! She can't withold HIS visitation days because she has a chip on her shoulder over HIM exercising his visitation as stipulated in the custody agreement.

I told them to be prepared to file kidnapping charges. I wouldn't put it past her at all.

For SIX months she refused to let him see the kid on HIS day. And she refused to let any member of HIS family have the kid...he's a single dad and sometimes needs grandma to pick the kiddo up. But HER mom can do anything.

Infuriating. But he finally got a fantastic new lawyer, and all he wants is to see his boy. he doesn't want to hurt or punish the mom.

 

[jcc0621]

That is such a shame. Luckily my DS doens'thave to deal with this type of situation, but my heart breaks when I hear stories like this.

Please let us know how the pick up goes and sending lots of picie dust to your DSis, her fiance, and the little boy

 

[DVCLiz]

Being sick is not a reason to deny visitation. I sent many a sick girl over to her dad's for the weekend because it was his time legally.

 

[MusiqChic99]

i'm sorry to hear that.

In many cases it's just a way to "get back" at their ex. Unfortunately the child has to be in the middle.

I know a couple that when they had a baby together, his ex would tell their daughter that it was an alien baby who is ugly and definitely not her sister. It's a shame too because the little girl loves her baby sister. But the mom won't let go of the past. Well she wouldn't....now she is remarried and doesn't mind so much when her daughter goes to daddy.

 

[Jennasis]

Do you know this woman personally? Who are you hearing this info from? To call someone a psycho is kinda wrong don't you think if you don't even know her. How do you know that the kid wasn't sick today? I understand you want to take your dsis side but there are 2 sides to every story and if the quoted remarks in your post came from a 5yr old, how can you be sure that is accurate? Just wondering.

She said it TO the kid with my sister and the fiance standing there...and the video camera rolling. This was when he showed up to take the kid home from the bus stop and MOm had deemed dad didn't "need" to see him that day...even though it was dad's day. Dad mentioned involving the police and she said to the boy, "Daddy wants mommy to go to jail."

All LIVE on tape.

I've seen the tapes. She is a psycho...and she is an elementary teacher.

 

[MusiqChic99]

She said it TO the kid with my sister and the fiance standing there...and the video camera rolling. This was when he showed up to take the kid home from the bus stop and MOm had deemed dad didn't "need" to see him that day...even though it was dad's day. Dad mentioned involving the police and she said to the boy, "Daddy wants mommy to go to jail."
All LIVE on tape.

I've seen the tapes. She is a psycho...and she is an elementary teacher.

I dont think people realize what kind of effect words like this can have on a kid.

 

[clovergirl5]

She said it TO the kid with my sister and the fiance standing there...and the video camera rolling. This was when he showed up to take the kid home from the bus stop and MOm had deemed dad didn't "need" to see him that day...even though it was dad's day. Dad mentioned involving the police and she said to the boy, "Daddy wants mommy to go to jail."

All LIVE on tape.

I've seen the tapes. She is a psycho...and she is an elementary teacher.[/QUOTE]

If all this is true, than yeah it sucks and unfortunately it happens alot, it happened with my stepsisters parents. I don't understand why the bolded part has anything to do with it? Is she psycho with her students

 

[jjarman]

I worked as a paralegal for 17 years and have seen just about everything in custody disputes. I would suggest that you get a child psychologist involved. We used to do this all the time. The way they do it here (Mississippi) is the child psychologist meets with each parent alone and the child alone. Then he does his report. It makes a world of difference to a judge when a professional can say what damage is being done to the child by one or both parents’ behavior. She sounds like a control freak and wants to run every aspect of her child’s life as well as make the ex as miserable as possible. It is very sad that a parent will hate the ex more than they love the child.

 

[C.Ann]

Drives me crazy when kids are used as pawns like this..

 

[cheermom1]

op how long have they been divorced? I ask b/c I'm a stepmom and have been for over 6 years and I can tell you it will get better as time goes on..my dh's ex used to thins all time even "hid" the boys from him ...the only thing that made a difference was when the oldest blew up on her and then her sis, who is a paralegal, talked to her, but this took about 4 years or so before she finally stopped the crap...the most we get out of her now is that she wants money and for sh to pick up at her house and drop off at her house or that every christmas when he has them for christmas day itself she tries to say it is not his year but dh always reminds her that it is his year and that goes on for a day or so then she suddenly calls and says "I found the papers and it says you do have them this year and I suddenly remember that I did have them" but she always makes it sound like it was her idea or something... but other than that it's been going great for about the last few years ...


all I can say is for him document EVERYTHING the more he has the better...now I don't know what will happen but I did know someone that after the 3rd time his court for the sale crap he reversed custody (in Arkansas) tell him good luck....

 

[It'sWDW4me]

She said it TO the kid with my sister and the fiance standing there...and the video camera rolling. This was when he showed up to take the kid home from the bus stop and MOm had deemed dad didn't "need" to see him that day...even though it was dad's day. Dad mentioned involving the police and she said to the boy, "Daddy wants mommy to go to jail."

All LIVE on tape.

I've seen the tapes. She is a psycho...and she is an elementary teacher.[/QUOTE]

If all this is true, than yeah it sucks and unfortunately it happens alot, it happened with my stepsisters parents. I don't understand why the bolded part has anything to do with it? Is she psycho with her students

Isn't Child Psychology a class (actually I think there are quite a few mandatory classes along this vein) that you need to take in order to become an El-Ed teacher? Dealing with young children on a daily basis, she knows how they believe everything you tell them at that age. She should know better due to her schooling. Let's not even go into why, if she wasn't psycho, would she say something so hurtfull to her own child?

 

[clovergirl5]

Isn't Child Psychology a class (actually I think there are quite a few mandatory classes along this vein) that you need to take in order to become an El-Ed teacher? Dealing with young children on a daily basis, she knows how they believe everything you tell them at that age. She should know better due to her schooling. Let's not even go into why, if she wasn't psycho, would she say something so hurtfull to her own child?

Not sure, Im not a teacher.

 

[MAKmom]

I don't understand why everyone does not just get equal joint custody. Why would you sister's Fiance want just visitation ?

 

[Pakey]

It's a shame when a parent hates their ex more than they love their children.

I have always felt extremely blessed that my husband's ex wife is such an amazing person and that we never dealt with any kind of drama like this.

 

[S. C.]

I dont think people realize what kind of effect words like this can have on a kid.

I agree!

She said it TO the kid with my sister and the fiance standing there...and the video camera rolling. This was when he showed up to take the kid home from the bus stop and MOm had deemed dad didn't "need" to see him that day...even though it was dad's day. Dad mentioned involving the police and she said to the boy, "Daddy wants mommy to go to jail."

All LIVE on tape.

I've seen the tapes. She is a psycho...and she is an elementary teacher.

Did he present this info to the judge? Judges can put in an order for parents not to speak badly of the other parent in front of or to the children.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

I don't understand why everyone does not just get equal joint custody. Why would you sister's Fiance want just visitation ?

Way to jump to a big old conclusion!!!!

Where the heck did she say that's what he wanted? As long as we're jumping to conclusions, I will conclude that he might have been fighting for that for a long time. Sometimes, the justice system is not nearly as "just" as some think.

 

[Jennasis]

I don't understand why everyone does not just get equal joint custody. Why would you sister's Fiance want just visitation ?

I don't understand why he doesn't get equal time either. I believe she is the custodial parent, and the custody agreement spells out the distribution of holidays, and gives him the kid Every other weekend and Friday after school on the weekends that aren't "his". I may have to check but I think he gets alternate Wednesdays after school too.

I agree!


Did he present this info to the judge? Judges can put in an order for parents not to speak badly of the other parent in front of or to the children.

YES they did, and the judge had to include this stipulation in the judgment handed down last week. No more trash talk in front of the kid. So sad that she had tobe ordered to do this.

I mentioned her occupation only to say I can't believe a school district let's this loon teach. It was not a dig at the profession in any way. I generally hold teachers to a high standard because the ones I have known and dealt with my whole life have been outstanding.

UPDATE, Dsis said the picking up of the kid went without any incident. Thank God.