Let's see...
This fellow would be someone's stalker-ish, co-dependent, kinky boyfriend. Or a gigolo. Maybe both. He's constantly following us around, chatting. Eep, meep, mrow, yow, all day long. He never gives us any privacy - he even dashes into the bathroom with us! (I don't know how many times I've closed the door on him, by accident.)
He walks on my head when I'm trying to sleep. He gets excited and starts this high pitched grunting thing when you pet him. Sometimes he gets... um, sexually excited, even if you're NOT petting him. He can turn himself on, just by rubbing his cheeks on the top of someone's head.
Oh, and he's completely mellow about letting the dog have her way with him. If he was human, he'd have a Mistress. With leather and whips. And he'd somehow top her from the bottom.
But I still think he's an awesome cat. Well... except for his habit of stealing shiny stuff, like eye glasses and earrings.
This is our low-self-esteem kitty. I think she's an overweight single woman who works in an anonymous office job. At night she comes home and screams at her roommate (the kleptomaniac gigolo). She's hypersensitive and easily intimidated. She's got a vicious tongue on her and tends to attack first, because she's convinced people are just waiting for her to show a moment of weakness. Sadly, she always end up backed into a corner, in tears and humiliated. I've never seen her win a fight. Her roommate's just got too much confidence in himself.
But she knows how to have fun, too. She especially enjoys an evening out clubbing (bouncing from wall to wall and "singing" at random corners). She just wants a little affection and kindness. Is that too much to ask?
And this is our sweet, neurotic puppy. She'd be a cheerleader. A really, really energetic cheerleader, with an anxiety disorder, who constantly bites her nails and chews on her hair.
She desperately wants you to like her. And why wouldn't you? After all, she really, really, really likes YOU. But big dogs scare her. And she doesn't like puddles, or going outside in the rain. Mean cats make her cry. And when she's feeling intimidated, sometimes she can't quite maintain complete bladder control, which embarrasses her. She's good at living in the moment, however, so most of the time she's very happy with her life.
She also has a kinky little secret. Whenever the stress and anxiety get too overwhelming she tracks down her favorite Rent Boy (our orange kitty), and rides the living heck out of him. Fortunately, he doesn't seem to mind.
