If you have an exceptionally beautiful child...

[Handbag Lady]

I've known two sets of "acting" twins. In both cases, the parents pulled the kids out of acting before they were one. It was just getting too much with all of the attention. However, all four kids have college paid for!


The parents of the ones I am closest to have their kids do chores, they have homework, they have manners and the parents don't make a good deal out of their looks, but don't knock them down, either. What gets me to most about this set is their presence. I honestly think they could be on a tween TV show now but luckily the parents are against it. If they wish to follow acting when they are older, that is perfectly fine, too.

But, it can't be easy when the youngsters are being treated differently than their peers because of their looks.

 

[Momvic5]

My DS15 is one of those beautiful people. When he was a baby, people would comment on how he was too beautiful to be a boy. Funny thing though, there was no denying that he was a baby boy. He was just beautiful. At that time, he was clueless as to how he looked and the comments that people made over him. Then at around 7 yrs old, he started putting on weight and was very chubby for a while. However, at about 13 years old, he shot up and became solid muscle. Now, he knows that he is very handsome - he is reminded almost everyday. He doesn't like a lot of attention called to him, and he gets embarrassed by overly bold girls. He is a freshman this year and during the football season his football coaches teased him by calling him names such as "Lady Killer" - girls waited for him outside of boys locker room, "Blue" - for his ice blue eyes, or "Hypno" - for putting the girls into a trance. He is a good kid, and I have caught him admiring himself in the mirror a time or two, but ultimately, he knows that we are proud of him for who he is and not for what he looks like. If you don't let their good looks and their charm get in the way of what is important, and they will be grounded.

 

[fireflymedic]

I think its the blue eys, I have 2 boys (4 and 5 now) now a lot of poeple think they are twins they are about the same highth. But the younger one has the "sky blue eys" the older brown. Every one goes on about the pretty blue eys, my older started saying his eys were brown, I had to explain they were not, at least now he says he has preety eyes and to that I can agree.

I have now decided it is not very nice to complament one child in front of the other. It couses long lasting problims between the two.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

I don't really find the combination stated in OP post attractive but I will say that the post as a whole makes no sense to me. What are you implying about pretty people? They aren't grounded? They are all conceited?
This country values beauty over brains the best you can do is encourage strong morals and self-worth and keep education #1. But this is also for "unattractive" kids. There is no difference.

 

[TN Hockey Mom]

When DS12 was in 5th grade his teacher told me, at a conference, that she couldn't look at him while she was grading any of his papers. She said he was so handsome that she couldn't stand to mark anything wrong. I was not very happy with her! I think him & his brother are both very handsome, but it doesn't keep them from getting into trouble at home.

My youngest DS10 is also very handsome. All the girls love him! We even catch girls, we don't know, checking him out when we go places. Our problem with him is he knows it. We've been at school parties and witnessed little girls getting overly excited if he speaks to them. We heard him tell one little girl good-bye and she immediately ran to her friends and said, "OMG, he talked to me." All of the other girls were jealous. He just grinned as he walked to the car.

DS12 is blonde with blue eyes and DS10 has dark brown hair with blue eyes-maybe it is the blue eyes that get 'em.

 

[Tinkermommy]

I have two children. Both are beautiful and in fact people stop me in stores all the time to tell me they should be models. Umm, no, my kids don't need to work.

My son could care less. He's not paying attention anyway. My daughter though has heard this since birth and is not conceited at all. We mainly focus on her kindness, her intelligence and her compassion. But I am not going to tear her down. And I am going to tell her she is beautiful as well.

If you child is brilliant or a phenomenal athlete you don't focus on just that either. You focus on all of their good attributes.

BTW, both of my kids have blonde hair and brown eyes. Just to mix it up a little.

 

[fairestoneofall]

DD is really beautiful. she has thick, wavy hair and huge blue eyes. from early on, she'd get attention everywhere we'd go. i just made it a point to tell her that yes, she is pretty, but that looks are not important. we stressed that it was more important to be kind and to work hard. inner beauty is much more important.

now she's a little older and has cut her hair (donated it in december). she is adorable! but when her hair is long, it definitely adds to her looks.

thankfully, she got what we stressed. she is a very sweet girl and very much has a giving heart. okay. she's maybe not so giving when it comes to her brother.

 

[mom2boys77]

People always told me that I was a beautiful child. As an adult, I have heard from many relatives that they think I am the best looking one in our family. I honestly do not care at all. When I look in the mirror I just see myself. I think I'm just normal. My parents taught me that it's what's inside that counts. I know I'm beautiful inside and that's what matters to me. I think telling a child over and over how pretty they are is a mistake and puts the focus on the wrong aspect of themselves. The person who said to just tell the little girl what a great job she did in the wedding is exactly right.

 

[Buckalew11]

"Pretty is as pretty does." It'd be words to live by.

 

[tlbwriter]

If I were that child's parents, I would be concerned that she'd grow up to think that being pretty was the only thing important about her, the only thing that anyone would ever notice or care about, since it's the only thing they ever comment on. So I'd be sure to compliment her on other things - talent, intelligence, being a good friend, etc.

I know a couple of truly angelic looking little brothers. The younger one is almost too pretty to be human. And they are little terrors! Adorable and loving but not much for listening. I always wonder how much they get away with simply because they are so attractive.

 

[KimR]

Mom2boys, if that is you in your avatar, you are beautiful! I know you said you don't really care, but still. I know looks aren't supposed to be overly important, but I have to admit that I do envy attractive people.

 

[hulagirl87]

It's simple really. In order to counteract all of the praise s/he receives about his/her looks, you simply tell the child, on a daily basis, that s/he is dumber than a bag of rocks. That'll fix 'em, but good!

this cracked me up I literally laughed out loud!

 

[krcit]

Thankfully all of my kids are butt ugly so I don't have these problems.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

It's simple really. In order to counteract all of the praise s/he receives about his/her looks, you simply tell the child, on a daily basis, that s/he is dumber than a bag of rocks. That'll fix 'em, but good!

Thankfully all of my kids are butt ugly so I don't have these problems.

I love this.

 

[mom2boys77]

Thanks that was sweet

Mom2boys, if that is you in your avatar, you are beautiful! I know you said you don't really care, but still. I know looks aren't supposed to be overly important, but I have to admit that I do envy attractive people.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

All 3 of my kids are just plain ugly. I don't have to worry.

 

[castmemberb4]

My niece has curly red hair and looked like Shirley Temple when she was little
She was alway being told how pretty she was. I was certain she would be concieted when she grew up. Now she's a 5'7" slender 28 Yr old red head and still gets tons of compliments. She is not concieted in the least is very gracious and alwys say "Thank You" when she gets compliments. And most surprising to me she is surprised when people remember her !
My best guess is that we never played it up, her pparents are down to earth and let her be a 'normal' kid.

 

[Aisling]

I don't have exceptionally beautiful children but I've seen a few in my life. I'd guess the best way to prevent a child from becoming conceited is to not make a big thing out of it. Acknowledge that the child is beautiful by saying thank you to a compliment and by teaching a child to say thank you to a compliment. And if you compliment a beautiful child, keep it short and don't go on and on on how beautiful they are. I guess say 'wow you're a pretty little girl" the same way you'd say it to an average-looking child. The beautiful child doesn't need people to tell her she's exceptional for her to know...she'll know whenever she looks in the mirror as she (or he) grows older.

 

[Momvic5]

OK...now I feel a little guilty. I stated my oldest is beautiful, but my other two children are just as beautiful as he is - at least in my eyes.

Right now, everything feels exaggerated with my oldest because he has had many problems with girls this year. His physical appearance has brought him more attention than he is comfortable with. Most compliments are genuine and kind in nature when our chidren are young, but as our children enter into the teen years, they learn quickly that not every compliment has their best interests in mind. Confidence and stability are critical at that point so begin building their character and self confidence early.

 

[Feralpeg]

Thankfully all of my kids are butt ugly so I don't have these problems.

I've never met an ugly child. Sometimes, they can act a little ugly, but they are each unique and special in their own way. It isn't until they become adults that ugly tends to set in.