If you have a DNR/DNI....

["Got Disney"]

My Dad had a DNR order and I went through it with him and I also had Medical power of Attorney and am a nurse of 22 years....As a nurse I get the DNR but as a Daughter it is different. He was in and out of the Hospital and they did have it on record from his previous stays.

You did what you were suppose to do...I would have done the same. Even knowing that he was going to die if not than very soon. You did not know and if you did not do it you could have been sued (or the hospital for that matter)

I sat in the hospital with my Dad why he layed there dying and was the one to tell him that there was nothing else they could do for him....it even came down to after he could no longer eat and he was not conscious but alive to tube feed him or just wait for him to die and that could have taken up to 2 weeks of him with no food.

Even though I knew as a nurse that he would starve to death he would not feel it. But as a daughter I struggled with whether to do it or not...I told them that I would let them know in a couple hrs and was blessed that he passed and I did not have to make that decision.

It is much harder when it hits home.

It is a shame that he is in the condition he is in right know. But that is not your fault.

 

[RNMOM]

Many of my nurse friends and I have half seriously discussed having "DNR" tatooed on our chests. I have discussed this at length with my hubby and kids and sister. I also know how my husband feels. Very important to follow your loved one's wishes, IMHO.

 

[Mandy_in_NC]

I think the situation is, if EMS is called, they have to initiate life saving measures. They cannot take the word of a family member that the person is a DNR. If the family knows that there is a valid DNR and allows the patient to die at home, then that is okay, but once they pick up the phone and dial 911, the full response can be expected. My mom passed away at home. She was DNR because her condition was hopeless. On the day that she was passing, the hospice RN stayed with us. I think in part to discourage me from calling 911 if I had a sudden change of heart. She told me that if I called 911, we would not be able to 'control' the situation. Perhaps the family in this situation saw him fall acutely ill and panicked, dialing 911.

IF there is a valid and legal DNR in the state of NC EMS legally does not have to do CPR if the person is not breathing and has no heart beat. DNR does not mean do not treat it means do not give CPR and rescue breathing. But if a family says please try to save them we do everything we can to save them. It doesn't matter if there is a DNR or not. My family knows my wishes and if I get to the point I need a DNR I hope they respect my choice. I have been to calls where the family has freaked out and called 911 and then by the time we get there they remember the DNR and they don't want us to do anything. In that case we usually stay and assist them in contacting the funeral home and the family Dr. To the nurses who work in the ER I thank you for the job you do. It is a hard job. I couldn't do it. I will dispatch an Ambulance to bring you guys the patients and when I am running with the Rescue Squad I will bring you the patients but I can not do the job you do.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I have a DNR and my Dr. knows about it. When I had surgery the hospital asked as well as the Dr. I told them I had one. In mine they could remove the breathing tube if there was not chance I would fully recover. I have complete faith in my DH that he would honor my wishes. BTW he has the same wishes.

 

[PatsMom]

As a financial planner, I've reviewed a lot of people's estate planning documents and recommended that they see an attorney for updates if they don't include a health care proxy. Just a living will doesn't work if you are unable to speak for yourself. You also need to name a person to speak for you and enforce your wishes. One thing we are seeing more of is that people are naming a close friend they trust instead of a family member. This avoids family having to deal with who ultimately has the power to decide if mom or dad dies. If you name a child, that child might have issues with siblings who disagree with the decision to let Mom go. A close friend won't have the same issues. When my best friend ws single, I was her health care proxy holder. Her parents are still alive and might have objected to a DNR. She didn't want one of her sisters to have to deal with going against their parents' wishes so asked me to do it instead.

When my Dad died, in NH, he was in home hospice. We called the hospice nurses when it was apparent it would be soon. They arrived shortly after he died and called the funeral home.

 

[mickeyfan2]

As a financial planner, I've reviewed a lot of people's estate planning documents and recommended that they see an attorney for updates if they don't include a health care proxy. Just a living will doesn't work if you are unable to speak for yourself. You also need to name a person to speak for you and enforce your wishes. One thing we are seeing more of is that people are naming a close friend they trust instead of a family member. This avoids family having to deal with who ultimately has the power to decide if mom or dad dies. If you name a child, that child might have issues with siblings who disagree with the decision to let Mom go. A close friend won't have the same issues. When my best friend ws single, I was her health care proxy holder. Her parents are still alive and might have objected to a DNR. She didn't want one of her sisters to have to deal with going against their parents' wishes so asked me to do it instead.

When my Dad died, in NH, he was in home hospice. We called the hospice nurses when it was apparent it would be soon. They arrived shortly after he died and called the funeral home.

DH and I also have POA on each other. The secondary person is my cousin's husband. He also has a copy of our will, since he is our executor if our spouse is not able to do it and a copy of our living will.

BTW another copy of all documanets is also kept by our attorney.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

As a financial planner, I've reviewed a lot of people's estate planning documents and recommended that they see an attorney for updates if they don't include a health care proxy. Just a living will doesn't work if you are unable to speak for yourself. You also need to name a person to speak for you and enforce your wishes. One thing we are seeing more of is that people are naming a close friend they trust instead of a family member. This avoids family having to deal with who ultimately has the power to decide if mom or dad dies. If you name a child, that child might have issues with siblings who disagree with the decision to let Mom go. A close friend won't have the same issues. When my best friend ws single, I was her health care proxy holder. Her parents are still alive and might have objected to a DNR. She didn't want one of her sisters to have to deal with going against their parents' wishes so asked me to do it instead.

For my own HCP I named my husband and also a close colleague who I know will fully understand the complexities involved in any medical situation. They both know what my wishes are and I trust they'd make the right decisions, whatever those may be.

Of course, I was a sobbing fool in the lawyer's office doing the legal documentation for that, nobody ever wants to think of themselves in that type of situation. But ultimately it brought peace of mind knowing it was taken care of.