If you can't say something nice....

[pigletz]

She sounds like my aunt. My cousin had a baby 5 weeks ago and we were all very excited to see her and the baby on Christmas Eve. She's always been skinny and even when she was nine months pregnant she was still thinner than me. Everyone was amazed at how great she looked. You couldn't even tell that she had just had a baby. So, I was in the middle of complimenting my cousin when her mother butted in and started going on and on about how fat her daughter is. She just kept saying that having a baby is no excuse to be fat. I'm sorry, even if she had gained a lot of weight I would never tell someone she was fat especially if she had just had a baby a month ago. I shouldn't have been surprised though. Her other daughter has three children and my aunt is constantly telling her and her oldest daughter how fat they are.

 

[Freyja]

My DD who has low self esteem and doesn't realize how beautiful and special she is has a new short haircut (it's about chin length and layered) I hated to see her get her hair cut but it's actually very cute. We go to the inlaws on Christmas Eve and I ask the DGM did you see her new haircut? in a crappy tone she goes uhhuh I saw it. Then I hear her tell DD well if you like it that's all that matters. I sort of wished I'd said something now but I just let it go and told DD how cute I think it looks. My mom the next day also told her how cute it was. I just don't get why a grandmother would either say something nice or just not say anything.

Well you did ask!

 

[disykat]

Yes, important lesson learned. Never ASK someone if they like a new haircut, outfit, etc. If they liked it, they probably already would have said something. If they haven't commented, they're probably already using the "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything" rule.

It is a shame that grandma couldn't muster up something nice to say regardless.

 

[ozarkmom]

My maternal side is English and very outspoken.....love to comment on everyone's hair......and weight....and everything else......


but why the need to even have something said in the first place, you must know how this person would react right? and if there were self esteem issues in the child I am not sure I would have brought it up.

I have found the older generations in our family are definitely in the "negative" camp....

I've never heard her say anything negative about the grandkids before she's the one that when I said my youngest DS needed a haircut she laughed and said he looked great.

 

[ozarkmom]

I didn't ask her in front of my daughter they were in different rooms. It was the kind of thing that any of us would normally ask her. Her reaction was very odd for her she usually puts a positive spin on everything. She later told my daughter that if she liked it that was all that mattered. This was very unusual for her. To me she acted strange towards my daughter. I had heard that someone had told her some untruths about my DD and the way she acted makes me wonder if I should ask her about it.

 

[mtblujeans]