If you are in high school and get caught drinking...

[DDRManiac]

I hear what you're saying too. I know that kids drink all the time underage once they are in college, and while i still think it's not right, it happens and there isn't anything i can do about it. My post was really meant for high school kids that are drinking, though. And being 21 years old myself, and one that doesn't always listen to everything mommy and daddy tell me, I KNOW that kids don't always listen. some do, but a lot dont.

I never had one drink until just a few months ago when i turned 21 and even now, i do it in total moderation. However, i still think that parents should at least TRY to control their children. If you do, WONDERFUL!!!! I know a lot of parents around here let their kids do whatever they want whenever they want to, and they will be the first to blame EVERYONE ELSE when something goes wrong because of it. Those are really the parents I was refering to.

I do wish that all parents would just talk to their kids one more time about drugs and drinking, though. It might just save your childs education goals, sports plans... or maybe even their life.

of course, i agree parents do need to talk to their kids about drinking i know mine did and I would like to think it has made me much more responsible when i do drink...i know my parents want to make sure im safe and i respect that

 

[epfootballcutie04]

I personally think the school overstepped its bounds by punishing kids for pics on a website. What is the school principal doing, checking facebook for students accounts and finding things to punish them for. If the situation inadvertantly came to the school's attention it should have forwarded the info to parents who should have done the appropriate thing.
The only gray area perhaps is with athletes who sign a non-alcohol pledge and know the consequences of drinking anywhere anytime.
I personally don''t see why a school is involved in behavior off campus during off times. If anything that's a police matter and even they would say they lack evidence here.

I'm not sure if you have been following the story, or if this part of the story has been leaked nationally... but school officials had nothing to do with checking facebook. It was another STUDENT who was 'friends' with these people on facebook... took the time to copy all the pictures of the 'drinkers' onto a disk and then turned the disk into school officials.

Once that was done, the school officials looked at it and that's when it became a problem.

 

[Rence]

Teens are killed or seriously injured in a drunk driving accident and everyone is screaming "Someone should do something about this!!!!!"

A school tries to do something about it and there are those screaming "You have to right - you are being too harsh - how dare you!!!!"

 

[golfgal]

I would not have my child sign it..

Now.. do I want my freshman son out drinking? .. Absolutely not.. but I dont think a public should should have any say.

Did I drink underage? Sure did.. but than again I was married at 18 and it was silly not to be able to have a drink.

In the state of MN if your child does not sign the no drinking/drugs form then they can't participate in any state high school league sanctioned activity-sports, dance, speech, nothing. There is a ZERO tolerance for drug/alcohol use. This has been the policy since before I was in high school and I have high school aged kids myself. The individual schools are expected to enforce the policy but it is the STATE that puts forth the policy. EVERY student in the state that wants to participate in anything at any high school, public or private, has to sign this. Most states have something similar.

Most SCHOOLS take it a step further and have a guilt by association rule, if you are at a party where there are drugs/alcohol, even if you aren't drinking or doing drugs you are subject to the same penalty, end of story.

I cannot believe how many people think the school went overboard. I think the PARENTS are the ones that are off base here. Your kid was caught drinking at a party and you want to blame the school for being too tough on them???

 

[basas]

That is utterly ridiculous! I don't think the school over stepped its boundaries at all. Most school sports and activities have guidelines that you have to agree to in order to be on the teams. These include the whole "no drinking or doing drugs" during of after school.

I don't understand what the problem is Alcohol would effect their ability on the team and is unfair to the other kids. The teens must have known the rules and I can't imagine why the parents are upset at the school for taking a stand. What kind of message is that sending to their kids???

I agree. I don't think the school is in the wrong at all and I have no sympathies for these students who broke the law.

I cannot believe how many people think the school went overboard. I think the PARENTS are the ones that are off base here. Your kid was caught drinking at a party and you want to blame the school for being too tough on them???

Well said.

 

[RitaZ.]

I cannot believe how many people think the school went overboard. I think the PARENTS are the ones that are off base here. Your kid was caught drinking at a party and you want to blame the school for being too tough on them???

Until their drunk child kills himsef/herself or an innocent person, the parents won't realize the seriousness of the problem. Unfortunately, that's what it will take for those parents to "get it".

As for kids in college, I agree that the parents really have no control over what they do. At that point, parents can only hope that they've taught their kid right from wrong and he/she will make smart choices.

 

[Cool-Beans]

The schools are not there to run the lives of the students. That is the parents' job. If they'd been drinking at school, that's a different story. But they shouldn't be butting into things that are none of their business.

I think society has just gone nutty. Am I the only person who hit a few bars in high school? Wait, I know I'm not. I had other people with me.

This is just not that big a deal.

 

[JennyMominRI]

The schools are not there to run the lives of the students. That is the parents' job. If they'd been drinking at school, that's a different story. But they shouldn't be butting into things that are none of their business.

I think society has just gone nutty. Am I the only person who hit a few bars in high school? Wait, I know I'm not. I had other people with me.

This is just not that big a deal.

At the most perhaps the school should have informed the parents about the issue.
I'm sorry, but with the exception of students on team I don't think schools have any business with anything outside of schold grounds/activities.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Then the school should inform the parents just like they inform them when they cut school or are failing a class. The school could also notify law enforcement if they are worried about liability.
However, I still do not think it is the schools general right to punish the alleged offenders when the areas of law are still gray. If it was so prosecutable then the school should have turned it over to law enforcement not become the law themselves.

This is exactly what I mean. Yes the school should inform the parents and if they think it's needed law enforcement. But they shouldn't be policing student's off campus, non-school related activities. This wouldn't hold up in any court due to lack of witnesses, proof, etc. I think it's a violation of the student's rights. I don't believe underage persons should drink. If caught I'm for strict penalty. Here you lose your license for any amount of alcohol. Good punishment for a teen. There are fines, classes to attend, etc. But you must be caught doing it by a police officer.
Also if you are arrested, and then found guilty, for certain offenses the school can remove you from campus.

 

[kim929]

sorry if this has already been posted, haven't read thru all the posts.
Here in RI, the varsity football team from a private school was caught at a party of another students house. The cops were called to the house thats how they were found out. Every student from the school that was at the party was suspended, including the football players. They missed the biggest game of the yr during that suspension.
We have such a problem with underage drinking so many kids have been killed in car accidents in the last 2 yrs, and they are all from the same influental community. Maybe the school felt they are trying to solve a serious problem that nobody seems to beable to stop. But for the life of me I can't understand why, as a teenager, when you've attend your friends funeral and for some it has been up to 4 friends why would you drink then drive.

 

[jrmasm]

In the state of MN if your child does not sign the no drinking/drugs form then they can't participate in any state high school league sanctioned activity-sports, dance, speech, nothing. There is a ZERO tolerance for drug/alcohol use. This has been the policy since before I was in high school and I have high school aged kids myself. The individual schools are expected to enforce the policy but it is the STATE that puts forth the policy. EVERY student in the state that wants to participate in anything at any high school, public or private, has to sign this. Most states have something similar.

Most SCHOOLS take it a step further and have a guilt by association rule, if you are at a party where there are drugs/alcohol, even if you aren't drinking or doing drugs you are subject to the same penalty, end of story.
I cannot believe how many people think the school went overboard. I think the PARENTS are the ones that are off base here. Your kid was caught drinking at a party and you want to blame the school for being too tough on them???

That is awful!

 

[mamacatnv]

Most SCHOOLS take it a step further and have a guilt by association rule, if you are at a party where there are drugs/alcohol, even if you aren't drinking or doing drugs you are subject to the same penalty, end of story.
I cannot believe how many people think the school went overboard. I think the PARENTS are the ones that are off base here. Your kid was caught drinking at a party and you want to blame the school for being too tough on them???

Our school district was this way until this past summer (see my earlier post) anyway, my DS had an interesting comment about the guilt by association issue. Kids hear over and over, have a designated driver. Now, the designated drivers amongst the teen set tend to be the kids that take the drinking age seriously or honor the contracts they signed or are just not willing to go there.

When a policy becomes guilt by association, those kids who would either go to a party to pick up a friend who should not be driving or went to the party knowing there would be alcohol but wanted to get their friends home safely are now not willing to go because of the possibility of getting caught in a compromised situation. Now the drinkers do not have the one resource available that could aid in keeping them safe.

Many teens are afraid to call a parent if they have been drinking, but they will call a friend for a ride. This has happened in my house several times and I have accompanied DS to pick up the friend and get them somewhere safe for the night. Due to the guilt by association rule I would not allow DS to go alone since he is an athlete and under a voluntary behavior contract.

I do not agree with underage drinking but I don't think that is the issue here. The issue is whether or not the school has the right to extend their arms of authority into the every day lives of our children who are not on athletic or extra curricular activity contracts. I have no issue with the contracts, the activities are voluntary and by choice, asking a child to adhere to a certain standard of conduct while representing the school is not a violation of their privacy, IMO. But, monitoring the activity of the general population and using guilt by association tactics is going to far. Think of the manpower that could be better spent.

 

[golfgal]

That is awful!

No, actually it isn't awful at all. The whole point is these students (all of whom were involved in activities subject to these rules and had SIGNED a form stating they would not use drugs or alcohol) got caught drinking or at least being at a party where alcohol was served. Moral of the story, don't go to a party where alcohol is present and you won't have anything to worry about.

ALL of these kids KNEW they weren’t supposed to be at a party with alcohol and they CHOSE to do so. The point pretty much everyone here is missing is that the kids didn't have to be at the party in the first place. They made a stupid choice and are now paying the consequences.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I have no problem with students being punished when police catch them in an act, inform the school, and the students have no alcohol contracts. If the students did not participate in activities then the police punishment should have been enough. Schools have no business punishing a student for something off property unless there is an athletic contract or their presence in the school creates an unsafe academic atmosphere, ie. violent crime. Then they are sent to the alternative high school with police atmosphere.
Unfortunately kids are going to try to drink and at times get away with it. It is the parents job to stop it. Call the houses your kids are going to. Check up on plans they make. Keep in touch with their friends parents. Talk to them about the risks and consequences and set a good example. If the school punishes my kids for behavior while they are in my care they are overstepping their bounds and taking away the parent role. I'm sorry some parents don't do their jobs but it's not the schools job. Do you want your employer to check and see if you are faithful in your marriage and see if you have a listing on a dating site to cheat. Do you want them to know your personal pc history? Etc.
Now if there were police involvement the kids would deserve every bit of the punishment given as they knew the consequences. But this is photos on my space. I find it a bit creepy that a school administrator would check kids in school's myspace accounts for pics of them drinking. Did they check to see how many underage girls were boasting of sex? Did they see if the boys were in the school and over 18 who the girls were doing this with?

 

[elgerber]

I cannot believe how many people think the school went overboard. I think the PARENTS are the ones that are off base here. Your kid was caught drinking at a party and you want to blame the school for being too tough on them???

I'm with ya. I have been following this on the local news this week, and I thought it was nuts that the parents were going after the school. I made sure my kids have watched this story and they know I think the school was right.

 

[castleview]

Ok, these kids were suspended from extra-curricular activities which are a priviledge. The school didn't suspend them from academic classes. I don't think they went overboard at all. Plus this was against the law.

A bank in town fired one of it's employees (in his mid 20s) because he was arrested for soliciting a teenager online. Did the bank go overboard because he was talking with this girl on his home computer and not on bank property? I think not!

The local police do occasional stings around the time our high school is getting out. One day, they pulled over about forty kids for speeding and/or going through a stop sign. They didn't ticket the kids - they asked for their cell phones and their parents number, called the parent right there to tell them that their child was pulled over for speeding. Half the parents were mortified and thanked the police for calling them; the other half were very nonchalant and ticked off that the police wasted their time.

Believe me, teachers do not want to raise your children. But when some parents don't care to be told their child is misbehaving, a good legal wake-up is fine!

 

[mamacatnv]

Ok, these kids were suspended from extra-curricular activities which are a priviledge. The school didn't suspend them from academic classes. I don't think they went overboard at all. Plus this was against the law.

It is not the schools job to enforce the law

A bank in town fired one of it's employees (in his mid 20s) because he was arrested for soliciting a teenager online. Did the bank go overboard because he was talking with this girl on his home computer and not on bank property? I think not!

The man was arrested, the employer did not hear a rumor and fire him

The local police do occasional stings around the time our high school is getting out. One day, they pulled over about forty kids for speeding and/or going through a stop sign. They didn't ticket the kids - they asked for their cell phones and their parents number, called the parent right there to tell them that their child was pulled over for speeding. Half the parents were mortified and thanked the police for calling them; the other half were very nonchalant and ticked off that the police wasted their time.

Love it, the cops call the parents. That is their job, how a parent handles it from there is the right of the parent. The police have the option of citing the drivers, they are within their rights as LAW ENFORCEMENT officers.

Believe me, teachers do not want to raise your children. But when some parents don't care to be told their child is misbehaving, a good legal wake-up is fine!

The school going after kids for activities posted on a social website is a legal gray area at best.

 

[castleview]

It is not the schools job to enforce the law

So if a student has drugs in school, should officials look the other way and not call the police?

 

[JennyMominRI]

So if a student has drugs in school, should officials look the other way and not call the police?

Yes they should
The drugs are in the school it is absolutely their business.
They should contact the police , and they and the police should punish the kids as is fit..Again they are not the ones inforcing the law, they are turning it over to the authorities.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Originally Posted by Cool-Beans View Post
The schools are not there to run the lives of the students. That is the parents' job. If they'd been drinking at school, that's a different story. But they shouldn't be butting into things that are none of their business.

I think society has just gone nutty. Am I the only person who hit a few bars in high school? Wait, I know I'm not. I had other people with me.

This is just not that big a deal.

oh crap. I just remembered my Senior year in High School when we all started hiding a couple of bottles behind the encyclopedias in the school library.

I don't think the librarian ever really figured out why all the sudden she had loads of High School students actively pursuing hours of independent study in the reference section.

I certainly don't scream "Somebody should do something about this!" every time a teen related tragedy happens. I don't see many other parents just begging the school District and Politicians to take over the Parenting job either.

The way I look at, our local School District is barely graduating 70% of their kids at the moment. If they want a problem to tackle, that'd be an excellent place to start.