If It's Not ONE Friend Issue, It's Another...

[AKL_Megs]

I am mad at my friend right now, and don't know if it's warranted.

My friend makes jewelry and made my mom "mother and daughter" earrings, they have both our birthstones on them.

My mom was touched and loved them, and just brought over a card and a small daisy plant as a "thank you" for me to take to my friend.

Just called friend, asked when a good time to drop it off would be. She said, " I don't want it, that wasn't my intent, to get something in return."

We went back and forth, but she is refusing it.

I am mad because that is mean spirited. But also, what the heck do I do with the flower? If my mom comes over and I have it, she will have hurt feelings. I can't throw it away. Do I take it and put it on her doorstop?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My advice is to tell the truth and risk "hurt feelings". Your mother is an adult. I would prefer the truth. Yes, I am not going to like it but I would rather have the truth.
Also your mom will get her plant back.

 

[Angelhalo]

Good grief. How rude not to accept a simple thank you gift. What the heck is wrong with people anymore? Obviously most normal people don't do things for others hoping to get something in return but thats no reason to forego common decency if someone does decide to reciprocate.

I agree with the PP. Take the card and plant back to your mother and explain to her what happened. Then step out of the situation.

 

[Mimi1965]

I would bring the plant to work and simply say nothing to your Mom

 

[L107ANGEL]

I am mad at my friend right now, and don't know if it's warranted.

My friend makes jewelry and made my mom "mother and daughter" earrings, they have both our birthstones on them.

My mom was touched and loved them, and just brought over a card and a small daisy plant as a "thank you" for me to take to my friend.

Just called friend, asked when a good time to drop it off would be. She said, " I don't want it, that wasn't my intent, to get something in return."

We went back and forth, but she is refusing it.

I am mad because that is mean spirited. But also, what the heck do I do with the flower? If my mom comes over and I have it, she will have hurt feelings. I can't throw it away. Do I take it and put it on her doorstop?

I think I am missing something. You asked friend to do a gift/jewelry nature gift.
Friend does this and incorporates mother and daughter birthstones (very sweet by the way)
Mom is touched and wants to send a thank you and a plant. Friend say's, not needed, thats not why I did it.
I am lost
She did it because she wanted to. Not for a thank you note and a card, however I think that is sweet on your mom's part.
Don't think so much it hurts. Loved that Grandma saying~

 

[torinsmom]

Maybe she doesn't like plants? I just kill them, so I hate plants. When I was in the hospital, I told everyone not to bring me live plants. I hope it didn't offend anyone.

Marsha

 

[buckler]

Maybe she knows she'll just kill the plant.

I don't like receiving plants. I don't have a good spot to put one and inevitably it will die from lack of proper sun, me not watering it etc. I would actually be inconvenienced by receiving a plant and would rather not accept it, especially if the giver would eventually notice I'd killed it.

Why don't you compromise and ask her to at least accept the note.

 

[ajk912]

I think it's neither rude nor mean spirited to not want to go to the trouble of pinning down your schedule to find a time to accept a thank you gift you don't want.

 

[jlder72]

Be thankful if this is all you have to worry about.

 

[phorsenuf]

You definitely have some interesting friends.

 

[wdwfan16]

I am mad at my friend right now, and don't know if it's warranted.

My friend makes jewelry and made my mom "mother and daughter" earrings, they have both our birthstones on them.

My mom was touched and loved them, and just brought over a card and a small daisy plant as a "thank you" for me to take to my friend.

Just called friend, asked when a good time to drop it off would be. She said, " I don't want it, that wasn't my intent, to get something in return."

We went back and forth, but she is refusing it.

I am mad because that is mean spirited. But also, what the heck do I do with the flower? If my mom comes over and I have it, she will have hurt feelings. I can't throw it away. Do I take it and put it on her doorstop?

Why did you mom not take the card and flowers to her?


I agree with the PP. Take the plant to work and throw out the card.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Why did you mom not take the card and flowers to her?


I agree with the PP. Take the plant to work and throw out the card.

She wasn't home when my mom stopped by.

 

[Cooky]

.

 

[AKL_Megs]

You definitely have some interesting friends.

I'm really just so tired of them all at this point.

 

[wdwmom2]

While maybe the most gracious option would be for your friend to accept the thank you gift, maybe there was a reason she didn't. She doesn't have a green thumb, she has cats that eat plants and then proceed to yack them up all over the floor, etc.

I would just return the plant to my mom and explain to her that the friend didn't want anything in return.

I also would not be mad at her for not taking the thank you gift. Not even a blimp on my radar for being upset. But that's just me.

 

[redlight]

I'm not sure that your friend is being mean spirited.

 

[marcyinPA]

Good grief. How rude not to accept a simple thank you gift. What the heck is wrong with people anymore? Obviously most normal people don't do things for others hoping to get something in return but thats no reason to forego common decency if someone does decide to reciprocate.

I agree with the PP. Take the card and plant back to your mother and explain to her what happened. Then step out of the situation.

I agree with you! If the friend doesn't want the thank you gift, she should simply throw it away once she receives it. What kind of person refuses a thank you note and small token of appreciation?

 

[disykat]

I agree with you! If the friend doesn't want the thank you gift, she should simply throw it away once she receives it. What kind of person refuses a thank you note and small token of appreciation?

This is what I would probably do, but I've been scolded on the DIS for it several times! I end up throwing away flowers, scented candles, gifts of food, etc. due to allergies if I can't find someone to take them who would appreciate them. I'd much rather refuse the gifts, but doing so would offend people.

Seriously, there have been numerous times on the DIS I've seen people say you should refuse the gift over throwing it away. Try reading some Christmas cookie threads sometime!

There are many people who don't enjoy getting gifts, I'm one of them. Seriously, it makes me not want to ever host people or do favors because they keep giving me stuff. I have enough stuff! I try to be gracious because I assume it makes them happy to give - but I honestly consider it an annoyance. (Now, I'll be flamed all over for saying this - trust me, I don't say it to their faces. We're discussing openly here and I'm sharing my honest feelings.)

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I guess I will be the voice of dissent.
That was pretty witchy of your friend. How was her tone when she spoke to you with those words?

That would be the clincher for me.

I don't care if she has a green thumb or not--refusing it was pretty cruel unless there was a compelling reason. I don't have a green thing, but that really isn't he point. Flowers do not live forever, even in a pot. I have flower
allergies, but only to certain kinds. I might refuse those, depending on the flower--but that is a medical reason and I would apologize.

I guess you will have to decide I'd her tone of voice was rude.

How horrible to make someone such a wonderful gift only to turn around and risk emotionally slap them in the face.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I agree with you! If the friend doesn't want the thank you gift, she should simply throw it away once she receives it. What kind of person refuses a thank you note and small token of appreciation?

That's how I feel. It's fine for her to say that's not why she did it and she doesn't need a thank you, but for goodness sake to not accept a small thank you gift and card is just rude.

But, OP you know your mom. If you think she would be hurt or the jewelry would mean less to her, I'd just give the plant to a neighbor or something and go ahead and mail the card to your friend - let her throw it out.