If I hear "You're having a THIRD? Are you CRAZY??" again I am gonna SCREAM!!

[loveysbydesign]

We want to have a 3rd and all of our family and friends think we are crazy! They say you have a perfect family, 2 kids, boy and girl, why add another?

I hear this all the time when I talk about having a 3rd....even from my dh My ds will be 7 in May and my dd just turned 3 1/2. I'm 31 and I'd love to have another 1 when my youngest is around 5 y.o. I come from a family of 6 kids and my dh only has a brother so I think 3 is a nice compromise for us...... my friends that have 3 or more always tease me that dh's really don't have a choice as the power is in our hand's-LOL! Congrats!

 

[antsss]

We have three: DS is 6, other DS is 4 and DD is 2. We love them all so much...three is definitely a great number for us!!

 

[LisaNJ25]

Wait until you have #4 You will get asked if you have cable

 

[lovesdumbo]

I have DD(6), DS(5), DD(3). After I had my son one of my coworkers told me I had a "millionare's family". Thankfully she was no longer employed there when I got pregnant with baby #3 at age 41. But everyone else thought I was crazy. We were married nearly 15 years before we had our 1st so we got some rude comments about finally figuring out how to do it. I am the youngest of 6, DH youngest of 3. I can't imagine having just 1 sibling.

I honestly can't think of a single family in my neighborhood that doesn't have at least 3.

Congratulations! Enjoy!!!

 

[Sinderelli]

I can't believe the rude comments people have made- I can't imagine thinking any of those things, much less actually saying them out loud! Last year I had 2 students who were both from families of five. These were two of the most laid back, helpful students! When I met their parents, I understood why. So were they! I've seen some parents, unfortunately, who do not want to bother with the one they have. It is refreshing to see people dedicate their lives to their children.

 

[Brooknwdw]

Oh goodness...some people will just say anything, it is really rude. It's not like you said, "I'm having baby # 15!" Now that may warrant alittle reaction!

I have two boys..my husband & I decided to just have two, & we are sticking with it. Mostly just due to what we feel we can handle & be comfortable with. I am 32 now & the boys are 7 & 9. However I LOVE babies & could keep having them if I let my emotions rule me!

I am one of three myself though. My mom had each of us almost exactly five years apart..when one went to school she had another.

My little sister is 21..she's been married for about 6months now, & she has already said she wants three. I guess because that is what Mom did & she is comfortable with that.

I think ALOT of people are concerned about birth order, etc...like having three would make your baby now, the "middle child". Like being the middle child is a bad thing?? I don't get that myself.

I personally can't wait till my sister starts her family..another baby in the family!

 

[disneymom225]

I don't think it matters how many you have-people are always going to have some comment on it. DH and I decided to have only 1 child and people always say negative/nasty/ inappropriate things to us (the best are from people who can't control/ afford their own children!) So, I wouldn't worry about it. It's your family and your choice of how big you'd like it to be. Enjoy and good luck!

 

[Princessbaby]

We have 3 and we heard it all the time "are you crazy!?". No, we love our kids and couldn't wait to add on! We had 2 boys, so of course, we always heard "going for the girl now?" so many times I wanted to scream. Then, we found out we were having a girl and people started asking if we are done after this. We have really thought about a 4th, but my daughter (she'll be 2 March 23rd) had a lot of medical problems last year and we almost lost her a couple of times and I really am scared of all that! We had a lot of hospital stays and surgeries! All 3 of our kids have had a heart condition of some sort (my second son is the only one who has a life-long condition). I am a nurse and was actually asked by a co-worker ( a physician's asistant, if my DH and I ever had genetic counseling.) What!!? People look at us like we're nuts for having 3 kids. Frankly, I can't believe people ask such personal questions and it's none of their business-they're not paying for my kids! We love 3 and wouldn't change it for the world!

 

[Princessbaby]

CONGRATULATIONS!

I have four! All boys. I would have more but I am afraid my OB/Gyn would kill my husband (long story, preemies here, lots of bedrest, me not nice).

You know how going from one to two was like jumping the Grand Canyon? Well going from two to three is a cakewalk. Seriously! You have it all under control now and are experienced and the older one will help. OK you may have to bribe for help but they will.

You will hear all kinds of stupid things:
Birth control is over there
Don't you know what causes that yet?
When are you going to stop?
Did you plan this one?

Why is any of that anyone's business? Seriously?

Sigh.. Just smile and say that you are planning on 5 more. That shuts em up.

Have fun. The third one is just pure joy! You are not paranoid anymore. I really enjoy my babies now in a way I did not the first two.

We got the "was this one planned?" a lot! People can ask the strangest, most personal questions sometimes!

 

[Princessbaby]

We have three: DS is 6, other DS is 4 and DD is 2. We love them all so much...three is definitely a great number for us!!

Same as my kids! 2 boys and 1 girl. (7 in March, 4, and 2 in March)!

 

[aterriq]

Boy my families reaction was different. I don't have three kids but I do have twin DDs. When my extended family saw them, they said "We have beautiful children and should have more."

My DW preganancy was not easy and it was the last thing she wanted to do. I was afraid we would have triplets the next time.

We have two and may adopt in a few years.

 

[dismom9761]

There were alot of RUDE comments when we told people about #3 but it was crazy when I was pregnant with #4.My DS8 thought the reason we were having a baby was because we didn't have a tv in the bedroom.Heard that joke a million times.

 

[Beca]

I don't think it matters how many you have-people are always going to have some comment on it. DH and I decided to have only 1 child and people always say negative/nasty/ inappropriate things to us (the best are from people who can't control/ afford their own children!) So, I wouldn't worry about it. It's your family and your choice of how big you'd like it to be. Enjoy and good luck!

This is SOOO true. My mom (she's mid-sixties) is always declaring, "Would you just look at how many pregnant women there are....what? is EVERYONE having babies??!!!"

I have to remind her, that my grandmother was one of 13....and, that was NORMAL for the community where she grew up. Then I say, "How many families of 13 do you know? Oh, there was that one on PBS that they did a show on because they were such an anomaly." That usually shuts her up!!!



Beca

 

[1of6]

Ignore the comments and enjoy your family. Around here the norm is either 2 or 3. Everyone I know with only 1 hears all about it. I didn't start hearing things until I was PG with #4. Some people! Let it roll off and live your life for you and your family.

 

[sara74]

We're expecting #3 in August and have had the same reaction from many, but the one that has really floored me was the receptionist at the OB's office! I checked in for my first appt with the 2 kids in the stroller (DD3 is very cooperative and will ride if I tell her to). She peered out at the kids and said "You're not pregnant, are you?" My response was "Well, I peed on a stick that says I am!" Next visit and the nurse asks me if this is going to be my last pregnancy. Isn't that a strange question to ask a woman who is 7 weeks along? What if something were to happen? Same visit and she commented that this one must have been an accident. I told her that DH and I are both dentists and by nature are obsessive compulsive planners and that this child was on schedule right with the last two! She told me that she wanted to give me birth control options. Was her thinking that I obviously wasn't using it right to have 3 this close together? Since our kids all have about a 2 year gap is she thinking that they are too close? Is it any of her business?

Then don't even get me started with the neighbor who insists that I will quit my job when #3 comes...(I am so stubborn that even if it occurred to me I wouldn't just to spite her )

Our best friends have 3 (4, 2 and 7 months). We joke that she has kids on the odd years and I have them on the evens. However she will have to carry on without me. They want 6 and we think that this will be it for me.

I think that 3 is great. Unless you are like my sister who knew she wanted one and has just the family that she wants, then 2 seems like the minimum to me. #3 is our bonus baby. It is the "we love the first two so much and we have the resources, so what the heck" baby. I just don't think we will have the resources (time/money) for #4 or more.

 

[Samantha/NC]

I love having 3, it is kinda unique!!! We heard lots of comments also, but just let them roll off of our backs!! I was shocked and upset at first as I was not planning for anymore-my hubby would love for us to have several more!
Anyway after 2 boys, my little angel is the light of my heart!! But so are her brothers!!!!

 

[mimif1]

Yep, I'm a mom of 3 girls DD10, DD7 and DD2. I get the "Are you going to keep trying for a boy?" one all the time. We weren't "trying" for a boy and I wouldn't trade any of my DDs for anything. The one I hate the most is, "Your poor husband!" Are they kidding? Daddy is king and his princesses think he's the best! As he says, "What more could any man want?" My husband would be the first to pipe up that he actually was hoping for a 3rd girl and he just got lucky! Ignore them and enjoy! Congrats!

 

[pearlieq]

It happens on all fronts--whether you choose not to have kids, choose to only have one kid, choose to end a pregnancy, or choose to have 8 kids. People don't seem to be shy about judging others and offering an opinon.

 

[Disbug]

Honestly - If I hear one more, "Oh My God! You are having a 3rd Child!!?? Are you Crazy?" again, I am going to scream!! Or Punch someone in the nose! LOL Most say Congratulations and mean it, but others say it 'cause their supposed to and look at me like I have 3 heads!!

Grendalynn, Don't scream just give them a big smile and say, "I KNOW! Can you believe how lucky we are?"

We have 3 also...17, 11, and 5. They are all a joy. I wish I had them closer together so they would have more in common, but it seems to have worked out just fine this way!

 

[michygoomy]

I think the root of it is the "It takes a villiage..." thing. It not only takes a villiage to raise a child, it takes one to make 'em.

Seriously, people just have a natural curiousity about children. Mothers of babies--how often do you take your babies out and have complete strangers come up to you and talk to the baby or make comments? If you are alone that doesn't happen, right? I think humans just have a inborn natural curiousity about children, especially babies, and that causes them to interject in ways that aren't really any of their business.

I admit, I used to be one of those people. "Don't let them outnumber 'ya" I'd say. Of course, I only said this to people I knew REALLY well who would know I'm joking. In my mind--3 kids, 2 parents=10 dentist appointments a year. What a PITA.

I always got the comment, "You should have more" when I had two kids. That used to P me off. Then I got pregnant. Someone actually said that to me while I was pregnant but still not telling anyone. So I answered, "OK, I'll get right on that. Honey, are you ready?"

When I got pregnant with my third, most conversations went like this:

"Congratulations! Is this your first?"
"No, it's my third."
"Wow, how old are your other kids?"
"11 and 8"
"Oooooooooooooooooh"

My mother had me when she was 39. My brothers were 14 and 16 at the time. My conversation with her went about like this:

"Mom, I'm pregnant"
"Oh, was this a surprise?"
"Yep"
"Yeah, you were too."

That was the first I knew I was an OOOPS! I thought they had tried for years to have me! Oh, well.

I should add, having this baby (she's one now) is the MOST FREAKIN' FUN I'VE HAD IN MY LIFE. And my big kids (now 12 and 9) ADORE their little sis.

ETA: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!