I was yelled at after Finding Nemo - was I wrong?

[Cinderella94]

No one should have told you off like that, but you should have taken her out.

 

[Marionnette]

Why should they be held to a higher standard that the OP?

There show was ruined and they were upset and angry I know I would have been, except I would have asked her to leave before it was over.

If she can't be expected to act with consideration why should they?

Maybe because you don't confront inconsideration with rudeness. Maybe because we will never return to a being a civil society if our only response to a negative situation is to make it even worse. And maybe because bad behaviour does not excuse more bad behaviour in return.

 

[MistressMerryweather]

Maybe because you don't confront inconsideration with rudeness. Maybe because we will never return to a being a civil society if our only response to a negative situation is to make it even worse. And maybe because bad behaviour does not excuse more bad behaviour in return.

Absolutely.
I have to add, too, that berating a mother in front of her onlooking child regardless of the offense is inexcusable, selfish and damaging to the child.
Is it inconsiderate and rude to interrupt a live show others have paid for? Yes, but grow up and think of others besides yourself. The little one was not at fault and didn't deserve to see her mother berated by strangers at DW.

At most, I would have turned and kindly said to the mother, "Oh hon, I'm so sorry your little one is having some issues. It may be a good idea to take her out next time." With a smile and gentle arm squeeze. She would have gotten the point just the same.

 

[cinabug]

I'm not sure whether the OP should have left. How far would it be to take her to the first aid center? Would she get worse on the way there, since she needed to sit and calm her condition? I just don't know, having no experience with asthma. I think I would have to assume the mother knew what was best for her child's condition. Even if that wasn't true, believing it could make me feel better about the disruption to my own experience.

It sounds like the incident made the show less pleasant than it should have been for all parties. I would guess that by confronting the mother, whether she was wrong or not, the older woman only added to the negative situation. I know that if I felt I had been been inconvenienced by someone I might stew on it and complain a bit for while. If I became involved in a confrontation that involved tears, I'd be second guessing and justifying to myself for days. Why do that to yourself?

I know that some people would argue that mother needs to be confronted so she won't do it again, but I think that very rarely works. If she was just choosing to inconvenience others in a selfish way, being confronted is unlikely to change her selfish ways. If she was right and needed to stay for the sake of her daughter, being a good mother will trump her desire to avoid a confrontation in the future.

As for "yelling," I always take that with a grain of salt. I'm a teacher and I have my own children. I can't tell you how I often I hear kids say someone yelled at them when they mean someone reprimanded them in a regular tone of voice.

 

[tienlv2011]

I would have left.

 

[dntd]

Really?

Your daughter was coughing loudly during a live theatrical performance and you don't understand how people could be bothered by the noise?

My child has cold triggered asthma, and we've done the nebulizer/puffer thing for 4 years now. I know that cough.

The right thing to do was find a cool place to let her work through the attack that wasn't in the middle of a live show. There are a million other indoor places you could have gone, and gone back to the show after you got her breathing right. Baby Care, First Aid, even a restaurant.

So yes, you were wrong. Your daughter does not have a disability that compares to a child with a trach or breathing tube. That's not a valid comparison.

You are not a bad mom. You did not show good judgement during the situation.

Asthma is a disability and not all asthma is controlled. my son's asthma took 2 whole years to control, you could hear him from the next room. God forbid if he tried to breath.

 

[bearlyanne]

I am sorry that you had a less than magical experience. You should have been looked on with compassion. It is sad that some people can't look beyond themselves for two minutes to see and understand what you and your daughter were dealing with

 

[LuLuO]

I don't think that berating you in front of your child was the right thing for the other visitors to do and I wouldn't have said anything myself, but I do think you should have removed her to first aid or the baby care center until she was feeling better.

ETA: My DS2 has asthma so I am not unsympathetic to the condition. I am sorry you had a bad experience and I hope it didn't spoil your trip.

 

[Cinderella94]

Asthma is a disability and not all asthma is controlled. my son's asthma took 2 whole years to control, you could hear him from the next room. God forbid if he tried to breath.

No one has disputed that. The person you quoted just said that it doesn't compare to needing a breathing tube. No one has said "you should have told your daughter to just stop coughing!" They just said that they should have removed themselves since it was beyond anyone's control.

 

[dntd]

I need to add that it wasn't just about the kid being loud( it was noticble but not loud), the older couple felt the kid was really ill and needed help and the mom was abusing her. They were rude, geeze it's a kids's show so if a kid with asthma is going to ruin the show maybe you need to stay at home because kids/people tend to "ruin" things when they try to live.

 

[mskayjay]

I'm not going to read all the responses because I can imagine where this is going to go but personally, I would have been considerate of the other guests and also taken an extra measure of caution with my child and gone to the medical center in case the asthma got worse. I only say that as it sounds like she really wasn't getting the proper response from her inhaler and as you weren't comfortable giving another dosage so close together, I would have wanted to be near a medical professional until I was sure she was okay.

This is just my 2 cents and I by no means mean to offend you but you asked for opinions. As far as the other folks and their comments, I can understand why they said something but still snarky.....

 

[Cinderella94]

I need to add that it wasn't just about the kid being loud( it was noticble but not loud), the older couple felt the kid was really ill and needed help and the mom was abusing her. They were rude, geeze it's a kids's show so if a kid with asthma is going to ruin the show maybe you need to stay at home because kids/people tend to "ruin" things when they try to live.

This clearly hits very close to home for you because of your son. I'm glad his is under control now.
Would you feel the same way about this if it were an adult having a coughing fit due to asthma? To me it's the same common courtesy- if you can't control your coughing or whatever is being disruptive, you excuse yourself.

 

[Hannathy]

because kids/people tend to "ruin" things when they try to live.

I couldn't disagree with this statement more! you can live and enjoy things without ruining it for anyone! what a horrible thought that kids should be taught that it is OK to ruin things for others as long as they are "living" or enjoying something.

 

[bumbershoot]

...geeze it's a kids's show...

It's a kid's show? Hmm. Going to disagree with that one.



I sometimes have asthma, sometimes worse than others. I cannot think of a worse environment to have an uncontrolled attack than in public when I have to be quiet. For your daughter's sake I wouldn't have stayed in that theater; I wouldn't have if I was having an attack.

And sitting there crying while your child is dealing with that isn't good for her, either. Stress is a HUGE causative factor with asthma, and watching her mother get stressed out can't have been good for her.


I finally had my first nebulizer treatment in Feb, and if I had to have 3 in a week, let alone a shorter period of time...even I, an avowed ME-hater, would have gone to the hospital...that's not controlled at all, IMO...

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I am going to say that I would have removed my child from the show, but that still does not excuse what they said. They were very rude to you.

 

[MomtoAlexnWilliam]

I hate that your child had an attack while at WDW. That is never good! I have horrible allergies that at times get so bad that I break out in hives and have trouble breathing and/or can't stop coughing. So I am very sympathetic to your situation.

That said, I think you were wrong to stay in a show where your child was coughing throughout the show. Your child was disturbing others no differently than if she had been singing/yelling/kicking the seat of others. Granted, bless her heart she couldn't control it but she was still disturbing others.

I do understand why the couple felt like they needed to say something but it could have been done politely. I am sorry they attacked you. I have turned around to parents whose children are disruptive and politely asked they ask their child to stop doing it. I do it with a big smile at them and their child.

I do have to respond to your comment about there being plenty of open seats in the theater they could have moved to.....it was not on them, the disturbed, to move but on you, the disturber, to move.

 

[Miaka]

I'm not going to comment here or there on much of this thread except for one big thing. Children are VERY aware of their surroundings. Dollars to donuts, the little girl (sorry I didn't catch how old she was) will feel guilty for a long time, even if she doesn't know what guilty feels. I think the people who said something were unkind, in that, a child sees their parent getting yelled at for something "they did". Even if it is a totally uncontrollable thing (I have lots of family with Asthma. My husband has it, luckily my 4 children do not show any signs). But I still bet the poor girl thinks she caused her mommy to get yelled at. that's what bothers me most about society. THe child is going to come out worse for wear in this situation.

 

[LVMom23]

As the mom of a medically fragile child with a trach, I have been in similar situations where we have had to leave something (like my older son's school music show) because my youngest had a cough spasm or too much secretions she couldn't get out (which is probably similar to what the OPs daughter had in a way).

For us, we have the 1-suction rule. If we need to suction our daughter, we will do it once in the show or event because that might be all that is needed to clear her. If it requires more constant attention or more suctioning, we will leave.

What the OP I think is failing to realize is that it is very scary to watch another child choking or wheezing and nothing being done. For those who aren't used to seeing this type of situation, I'm sure those older people were scared to death for your child -- watching her suffer, watching the OP do nothing, wondering "what the heck?" It is likely that the older couple was completely preoccupied with the child and couldn't enjoy the show because they were worried.

For those who aren't used to dealing with disabilities, put yourself in the older couple's shoes for a second? If you saw something like that and had no experience with it, wouldn't a regular compassionate person be worried? As for what they said to you, they were likely saying it out of fear for the child's safety. They don't know you personally, they don't know the situation, but they were afraid for your child, and I feel you need to understand where it is coming from.

As for the rest of the crowd, obviously enough people felt it was a disruption to the show. Should they have "ganged up" on you? Absolutely not. But I do think you need to think more about the other people in the audience and should have left to another area.

Just my two cents...

 

[marivaid]

As an adult with asthma that seems to only flare up when I'm in WDW I can understand where you're coming from.
It was absolutely wrong for these people to behave the way they did.

HOWEVER, you should have taken your DD out of the show.

When my asthma is bad I ask to sit at the end of a row, close to the exit, because I know that my coughing/wheezing will bother others AND because I also know that my asthma will not calm down if I'm inside in the A/C. Must go out and breathe "real" air, so to speak.

 

[Snickals]

"You were very polite for not telling them to MYOf'nB!"
to this!

Agreed!!!