I was not allowed to use rocking chairs at Baby Care Center

[photo_chick]

I have not read the pages of discussion, but back to the original post....

This just makes me sad. Do bottle feeding moms not have the right to bond with their babies in a quiet environment when they feed? If anything studies have shown that bottle feeding babies need the rocking motion more. They tend to have more gas and other problems that the rocking helps soothe... not that I'm suggesting they should be given preference. Both breast and bottle feeding moms should be treated the same. There is no excuse for differentiating between the two.

We hear so much about how we need to be sensitive to breastfeeding moms to the point to where some moms who bottle feed, either by choice or necessity, often feel like a failure or less of a mother for that. Policies like this only serve to reinforce that when we should be helping these moms to provide the best experience possible for both them and their baby.

I had to bottle feed both my kids. Not by choice. If this had happened to me I would have done a lot more than file a complaint. And if this is policy at Disney then every person who thinks it's unfair needs to write in. I know I will be.

 

[annette20071]

not "liking" muffin tops is far different than having an issue with feeding a baby. Sure, everyone can have "feelings." but some "feelings" are innapropriate. Those "feelings" are the same as people not "liking" people of color, or not "liking" people with different sexual preferences than oneself.

ita.

 

[livndisney]

I honestly don't think you are getting what bf mothers are trying to get across. No, it is not okay for ANYONE to express negative feelings about someone bf - even if it is after the fact - even if they did not specifically call the mom out - definitely not okay in a public forum like a message board. It is NOT okay. But, this is the reason why Disney has a nursing room. Because of people like this CM. A lot of bf moms don't like nursing rooms because they feel that moms should bf in public then eventually it would be so normal that people would not act like this CM apparently did. It doesn't mean he is a bad person. He just needs to be better informed.

In your opinion. Which like EVERYONE else you can express on a public message board.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I have not read the pages of discussion, but back to the original post....

This just makes me sad. Do bottle feeding moms not have the right to bond with their babies in a quiet environment when they feed? If anything studies have shown that bottle feeding babies need the rocking motion more. They tend to have more gas and other problems that the rocking helps soothe... not that I'm suggesting they should be given preference. Both breast and bottle feeding moms should be treated the same. There is no excuse for differentiating between the two.

We hear so much about how we need to be sensitive to breastfeeding moms to the point to where some moms who bottle feed, either by choice or necessity, often feel like a failure or less of a mother for that. Policies like this only serve to reinforce that when we should be helping these moms to provide the best experience possible for both them and their baby.

I had to bottle feed both my kids. Not by choice. If this had happened to me I would have done a lot more than file a complaint. And if this is policy at Disney then every person who thinks it's unfair needs to write in. I know I will be.

Had you bothered to read the discussion, you would know that it isn't about feeding, it is about exposed breasts. But then, you didn't bother.

 

[annette20071]

Since I am the one who brought up the Jungle Cruise CM, it's only fair that I say I am not sure if the CM *him/herself* was uncomfortable/offended or if he/she was venting about trying to deal with angry guests who were offended. My point was to demonstrate to other posters in this thread that there are indeed people at Disney who are offended/made uncomfortable by nursing moms.

Thanks for clarifying!

 

[Zeebs]

I raise objection to this! I've been reading this thread out of curiosity but have no opinion as I'm not yet a mom and haven't dealt with this issue. But I do raise objection to this point, as that is one of my friends you are speaking about! I guarantee you I know that poster personally, and they are a fantastic person, and a great co-worker and CM. I'm sorry you have issues with things that make them uncomfortable. Jungle Cruise is recommended as one of those rides where a baby might be nursed because it's a long ride and very smooth. However, you are packed closely together with a bunch of other guests, and there is a CM attempting to keep the attention of 40+ people with varying degrees of success. If you've never tried it, it's tough, I promise! So I've never quite understood why it's on the list of places that are nice to nurse, because in my mind that seems hardly an ideal situation. I'm sorry you are annoyed at the CM in question, but I do raise issue with your post. I find it very hurtful to me and my fellow CMs, as we are only human and in that case of the Jungle Cruise if there's something or someone on the boat who is upsetting to us, we have nowhere to go. I would never point out a woman or draw attention to her who saw fit to nurse in that instance, but other people may not be as gracious which could put the CM in an uncomfortable situation. That is a loooong 10 minutes+ when you've got an angry person on the boat. Please understand I'm not meaning to enter the debate about when, where, and how is acceptable to nurse, I'm upset that you're calling out a CM and a friend of mine who didn't do anything wrong, other than state later that the situation was uncomfortable to them.

I think there is a big difference in being uncomfortable, because as the CM you thought there might be backlash from others on the boat because of breastfeeding mother and being "grossed" out about the mother feeding her baby. (I say that if the CM has been quoted correctly)

I'll admit it. I breastfeed because I'm cheap and lazy. I don't think I'm morally superior to anyone. Yes, I also do it because of the health benefits, but seriously. I am LAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY.

I am right there with you on this one.

Yes I have been lucky so far with my ability to be able to breastfeed, but this doesn't mean to say it didn't hurt like hell in the begining for me either. (I sucessfully fed to 14 months with both kids and don't fall for this rubbish if you are doing it right it doesn't hurt, of course in the early days it hurts you aren't used to being suckled on constantly its going to hurt until you get used to it)

I was practically forced to give a bottle to my baby in hospital, people make comments all the time on why don't you change to to bottle it is so much easier, you can see how much you baby is getting, you can go out etc etc etc. I just ignore them. It does happen both ways.

Kirsten

 

[annette20071]

In your opinion. Which like EVERYONE else you can express on a public message board.

No, actually there are rules on message boards about what opinions can and cannot be expressed - which is a different topic. Just see all the threads that bet locked or deleted on any board . . .

And, just because you have an opinion doesn't mean it is always appropriate to express it.

 

[livndisney]

No, actually there are rules on message boards about what opinions can and cannot be expressed - which is a different topic. Just see all the threads that bet locked or deleted on any board . . .

And, just because you have an opinion doesn't mean it is always appropriate to express it.

I have yet to see a rule about posting opinions on bf. Maybe I am just not on the right boards.

And I agree JUST because you have an opinion doesn't mean you should express it-but it certainly doesn't stop people. But not being "appropraite" is not the same as not being "allowed".

 

[photo_chick]

Had you bothered to read the discussion, you would know that it isn't about feeding, it is about exposed breasts. But then, you didn't bother.

I was going off the ORIGINAL post, which was about the nursing centers. Not what the thread has been hijacked to discuss. That post has nothing to do with exposure.

 

[melancholywings]

I think the heart of this issue is how society/other mothers make women who can't breastfeed feel.

I always planned on BFing DS, but he refused. Even after working with 3 lactation consultants he would not latch on. I cried a lot. I felt so guilty about not BFing him that I pumped exclusively for him for 8 months until my milk dried up.

Now my DS is 3.5 and I am so sad and disappointed with myself that I allowed myself to be made to feel guilty. I now know that I am an amazing mother - I don't have to prove it by BFing.

BFing is best, but as this thread proves it doesn't work for everyone. Non-BFing mothers are not 2nd class citizens and I hate that sometimes others make them feel that way.

I do know several BFing nazis - I don't let them bother me because I am fully confident as a mother, but I often wonder how they would handle it if they couldn't BF a child for some reason.

All that to say, I am actually not outraged by bottle feeding mothers not being able to use the BFing room - I am just sad that it hurts some bottle feeding mothers feelings.

How you feed your child is only a small part of who you are as a mother.

Your entire post is just so well written.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I was going off the ORIGINAL post, which was about the nursing centers. Not what the thread has been hijacked to discuss. That post has nothing to do with exposure.

It has to with the basic supposed policy that instigated the supposed scenario.

 

[annette20071]

I have yet to see a rule about posting opinions on bf. Maybe I am just not on the right boards.

And I agree JUST because you have an opinion doesn't mean you should express it-but it certainly doesn't stop people. But not being "appropraite" is not the same as not being "allowed".

Never said it wasn't allowed. I said it was not "okay" and not "appropriate". There are lots of things that you are allowed to say that are offensive and not appropriate some examples were even provided in other posts.

 

[melancholywings]

I don't know if she felt "attacked" or upset or anything. But I often wonder if this is common. There was several posts on here about "I couldn't bf . . . and was attacked". Well, are bf mothers really "attacking" or are they offering suggestions and it being taken the wrong way because the mom is sensative about the issue? I think when someone says "I tried but can't" or "I want to but can't" it is human nature to offer information about that.

I think it depends on how well you know the person. It is a sensitive issue and like many sensitive issues giving unsolicited advice can be rude. I mean the guy knocking on my door trying to shove his religion at me is doing it in the conviction that he's doing it all in my best intention. It's still rude and unwarrented.

The majority of women didn't care how I fed my kid, but there's a small, loud subgroup that will tell you to your face that bottle fed babies are stupid, sick, unhealthy, etc. And you run into them on the parenting forums, parent classes or in the mall. Saddly some people believe that only their way is the correct, right way to live. Even if those beliefs are crazy, ignorant and unkind. We've all met these kinds of bullies - they're everywhere.

 

[photo_chick]

It has to with the basic supposed policy that instigated the supposed scenario.

I gathered that exposure could be the excuse for the policy. It still has nothing to do with the fact that it is discrimination nor the original post.

 

[annette20071]

Saddly some people believe that only their way is the correct, right way to live. Even if those beliefs are crazy, ignorant and unkind. We've all met these kinds of bullies - they're everywhere.

I agree with this. I just don't get why some people leave the door open. If they don't want to discuss it, don't leave the door open. But, when they leave that door open it looks like an invitation so they shouldn't be upset when someone comes in. I don't know. Everyone is sensitive on this topic no matter what is chosen.

 

[annette20071]

I gathered that exposure could be the excuse for the policy. It still has nothing to do with the fact that it is discrimination nor the original post.

I really think you need to read the whole thread if you haven't yet. Not everything is discrimination. If Disney has a room just for the CMs to eat lunch and I want to eat there too, is it discrimination when I am told no that is for CMs only?

 

[Suellen]

When talking about bcing mom's trying to co Vince me to bf instead of bottle I clearly said that it happened to me while pg for my second child. When I told this particulAr mom I couldn't bf bc of a med I took and tried to let it at that. I later got emails pointing me to articles showing how most women and dogs are misinformed about meds and bf. It just didn't end.

I have actually posed this question in my facebook status and it is abou 50/50 as to who has overheard or been said something to about nip.

My male cousin says he has heard people say things under their breath about a mom nip. My dear friend from college has waited tables for about 13 years and she says they get complaints and servers even complain about moms nursing at their table.

Yet three of my bf moms say they have never heard a neg comment about nip. O e even said she was so nervous and worked up about someone saying something to her that she worked out all kinds of come backs on NY state laws about a womans right to Nip.

Anyway on the iPhone and going to play with my little girls - enjoy your debate. - I am enjoying the polite reasonable discussion about on my fb status.

I really don't see any attacks but that may be how you perceive them. However, in almost all your posts you state how, although you don't disbelieve it happens, but you have just never heard or seen anyone say anything about BF. You can qualify it how you want but over and over again you say you have never seen it - but you also post how ofter bottle feeding mothers get something said to them. Well, I have never heard or seen a bottle feeding mother have anything said to them! You keep qualifying your statements but your posts come off like - well, I'm not accusing anyone of lying but really . . .

I mean this post right here says you would like to hear PERSONAL stories - like you are disbelieving. You either believe or you don't.

And when posters have responded with lots of info on the topic of bf issues you say you were attacked? I don't get it.

I actually find it hard to believe that a bf mother would try to get a bottlefeeding mom to switch. Why? Because it would be almost impossible. BF is all about supply and demand. If a baby has been bottlefeeding exclusively it would be extremely hard if not impossible to re-introduce the breast. What I do believe is that bf moms would say something to someone who is pregnant. I have done this myself. And the reason why is because someone did it for me. They brought up bf and the more we talked about it the more it interested me. Most women do not have mothers who bf because that was actually discouraged in the late 60s, 70s, and 80s. So, most women know very little about bf and have very few people to ask about it. That is one of the reasons why so many moms "can't" bf. They did not have enough accurate info and help. But, women who put themselves out there to try to help others are accused of being "nazi's". Yes, I know there are a lot of women passionate about bf. There are a lot who actually just want to help though. How many people on here said they tried but couldn't? Yet, they complain when someone says something to them about it or encourages it? Maybe that person wasn't trying to make them feel bad but was trying to help them. A lot of times, and I know I am included in this, we let our feelings color our encounters when there never was any ill intent.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

Your entire post is just so well written.

Thanks!

 

[littlbugmom]

Even after all of this discussion, there are still people talking about "why shouldn't a mom who bottle feeds get a nice quiet rocking chair room"......as if Disney set out to make moms who bottle feed feel inferior and the nursing moms are all laughing about it as they take up all the good chairs.

A little privacy for the women exposing their breasts isn't a SLAM on moms who bottle feed! If you (general you) want a rocking chair, tell Disney you want one! If you want a room with dim lights, tell Disney you want that! I'm willing to bet that along with all the complaints from people who don't want to see nip, there were probably plenty of requests from moms who wanted a little privacy. Communicating with the company works. Write a letter or send an email or place a phone call......that kind of energy is productive.

I have personally experienced negative talk and dirty looks because I was nip. I have personally heard people talking negatively about another person nip. I have personally been told by a bottle feeding mother that nursing my 18month old DD was disgusting. I've personally heard moms who bottle feed, badmouthing nursing moms and I've personally heard moms who nurse, badmouthing moms who bottle feed. I nursed and used a bottle and got some crap from both sides.

It happens. People can be mean and ignorant to each other. It doesn't change the fact that the nursing room in the babycare center is needed for privacy. Privacy for moms who have to take their breast out to feed their baby. If a mom who doesn't use her breast to feed her child wants the same kind of room, she needs to communicate that to Disney. I certainly believe a mom who uses a bottle is deserving of a nice room with rocking chairs, I just don't believe taking away the privacy of a nursing room is the way to solve the problem.

 

[missfigment]

I want a darkly lit room where I can rollerskate in a clown costume while playing the harmonica. Darn it Disney....why dont you create a room for that??? Am I asking too much?

Sorry...this thread is waaaaay too angry.

I'm a BFing mom here and have used the rooms at Disney to BF my child....I wouldnt have cared less if a mom came in to bottle feed.

Dont fall into the mommy wars here people! Whether you BF or bottle feed....your choice.