I want a Divorce!!!

[JPN4265]

If only it could happen.........


Subject: I want a Divorce !!!

THOUGHT YOU ALL WOULD LOVE THIS ! ! ! ! I CERTAINLY DID !

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY
BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER
HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists,Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole
of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a
divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of
future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile
and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass
each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure
our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it
should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly
divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate
tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You
are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns
and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the
military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are,
however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move
all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved
homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep
the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll
keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain
the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the
peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under
assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to
Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the
U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars.
You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem.
I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach
the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give
trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll
keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree,
just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you
ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

 

[FayeW]

It's stupid.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Where's the puking smiley? Seriously.

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[FayeW]

Come on, its funny.

What about all the people that were going to denounce citizenship and move to France when George W was re-elected. .

That was stupid, too.

So were "Freedom Fries".

 

[All American]

That was funny. Can we keep DisneyWorld?

 

[JPN4265]

It's stupid.

Come on now, where is your sense of humor...... You have to admit it was a little funny. If you can't laugh at yourself or your political views, its going to be a very long next four years.

 

[mrsv98]

Insipid, sophomoric blather.....

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

 

[Darsa]

Not funny. Stupid, yes, but funny? Nope

 

[FayeW]

Come on now, where is your sense of humor...... You have to admit it was a little funny. If you can't laugh at yourself or your political views, its going to be a very long next four years.

Not the least bit funny. I found it pathetic, actually, because it seemed that although the writer seems to be clever and witty, he really does not understand the fundamental differences between the Republican and Democratic perspectives. He knows talking points, and stereotypes, but did not display any intelligent understanding of the concerns that divide the American people.

 

[rabx5]

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[JPN4265]

Not funny. Stupid, yes, but funny? Nope

Come on now, where's your sense of humor. Maybe you should try Universal instead of Disney next time.

 

[JPN4265]

Not the least bit funny. I found it pathetic, actually, because it seemed that although the writer seems to be clever and witty, he really does not understand the fundamental differences between the Republican and Democratic perspectives. He knows talking points, and stereotypes, but did not display any intelligent understanding of the concerns that divide the American people.

Did you ever think that just maybe he was having some fun with the whole situation?

 

[kinntj]

Well, that was certainly interesting. His views seem to only be limited to what TV can throw at him. I believe Conseratives and Liberals are more complex than that.

I'm Independent who did vote for Obama, but I also voted for Bush 2 times. I'm mostly on the fence every election because I'm fiscally Conservative, but socially Liberal.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

Forget it...there's not a member of the GOP alive with the ability read through that whole thing. If I can make a suggestion, condense it, put it on a bumper sticker and you might just have your new party standard bearer...that is, if Rush Limbaugh's heart doesn't hold out much longer.

 

[smartestnumber5]

Hey I think the liberals might get the good end of the deal out of this, but the author leaves some important stuff out and seems to simply be mistaken about some issues.

First off I'm not sure why the get ALL the Judeo-Christian stuff and none of the other religious stuff. Most Jews in the U.S. tend to be quite liberal--as far as I know, both reform and conservative Judaism allow same-sex marriages/unions. Come on, if they're letting gays get married and you want them in your conservative paradise? It's obvious that most Jews are coming with the liberals!

I think we get a good amount of Christians too--you know, the whole Christian left. I guess since the author apparently sees Islam (or any other non Judeo-Christian religion) as inherently left-leaning/liberal Muslims (and all others) won't be allowed into the conservative paradise. That's fine--the liberal paradise will have a very strongly enforced non-discrimination policy I'm sure, so members of all religions will be welcome!

Also I wonder what law school this guy goes to. I assume the liberals get just about every prestigious (and most non-prestigious) college/university/med school/law school in the country; after all, the usual conservative talking points include complaints about how higher education is all about indoctrinating kids into leftism.

Also is the plan here to divide things geographically? Are we doing this by state, by county, by city, by street? I'm just wondering since so far as I can tell most every major metropolitan area in the country is blue. I guess that means that the liberals get all the big cities.

The one difficulty here, of course, as others have said is Disney World. I'm going to bet though that Orlando leans blue. I think the liberals get it. (And plus there are a ton of gay CMs who work at Disney. Who'd be left to work there if the conservatives got it?)

This sounds pretty darn good to me. Where's the down side?

ETA: Oh and I forgot. In terms of military allies we get all of Western Europe and Canada (since they are all commies anyway).

 

[mhsjax]

If only it could happen.........


Subject: I want a Divorce !!!

THOUGHT YOU ALL WOULD LOVE THIS ! ! ! ! I CERTAINLY DID !

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY
BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER
HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists,Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole
of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a
divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of
future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile
and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass
each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure
our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it
should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly
divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate
tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You
are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns
and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the
military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are,
however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move
all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved
homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep
the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll
keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain
the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the
peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under
assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to
Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the
U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars.
You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem.
I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach
the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give
trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll
keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree,
just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you
ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

It's brilliant, I would vote for him if he ran for office.

 

[wvjules]

Forget it...there's not a member of the GOP alive with the ability read through that whole thing. If I can make a suggestion, condense it, put it on a bumper sticker and you might just have your new party standard bearer...that is, if Rush Limbaugh's heart doesn't hold out much longer.

I think that was one of the most insulting posts on the DIS. That was completely uncalled for. Most of the discussion on this thread has been civil.