I think my daughter might have or on the verge of having an eating disorder :(

[Jane Doe]

I am a long time poster, posting under an alias..........

I'm looking for answers to some questions about my DD17, senior in high school.

When she was much younger she was slightly overweight - I can't even say overweight - but was at the top of the weight chart. Never had a muffin top but was heavier than her 2 sisters who are very thin. During high school she became conscious of her weight, which is normal & began thinning out - each year wearing smaller sizes.

Over the last 4 or 5 months I have noticed a significant change in her eating habits & noticed an increase in her weight loss. At the start of high school she wore a size 10 jeans & is now size 4. At the beginning of the school year she was a size 6 jeans. She always wore medium tops & is now an extra small. This alone wouldn't be a major cause of concern but...............

I have noticed she that she doesn't eat as much at all. Very, very small portions. In the evening if we sit down to watch "our shows" together with the family & have a snack she will always opt out saying she is not hungry. Many meals when I question her portions she says she's just not hungry right now. She grabs a breakfast bar for breakfast & leaves - whether she eats it is a guess. She has started to "de-crust" her bread (is that a word?) saying she doesn't like it. Food is pushed around on her plate & when we mention something she says "I did eat" or "I'm not that hungry - I had some snacks at school this afternoon." Has gotten away from eating any form of junk food (which isn't a bag thing, I know). Even these things wouldn't be a huge concern, because I could say that she is really watching what she eats & trying to be healthier, but............

DH & I realized that at the beginning of the school year I put $50 on her lunch card. She just told me that she needed more money on it as she was down to about $7 - they have been in school for over 10 weeks. That is less than $1 per day for lunch. A regular school lunch is $2.25. Her sister has already had her card reloaded 2X. I have found 1/2 eaten snack bars in her room. We were together yesterday & had a bagged lunch. I saw that she "de-crusted" her bread, but then today I found the remainder of her sandwich & a peeled banana wrapped up in paper towels & the bag she had with her yesterday. Maybe one bite was gone from each item. It's not that she never eats, because she will make a sandwich, some fruit, cheese & crackers & eat them, but not a lot.

We ordered dinner out last night & she said she wasn't very hungry. I didn't know about the hidden lunch at that time. She ordered a chicken wrap & I noticed her pulling the chicken pieces out & leaving everything else. I asked her about it & she took a few bites of the wrap & ate a few fries before pushing everything around to make it look like she ate more than she did. I've noticed her do this with subs or lunch meat sandwiches also - pulling out the insides, leaving the bread.

Last week she went out with friends & ate some kind of turkey sub, threw up that evening & said she felt sick for about 2 days after that.

Also.............she has passed out about 3X in the last year or so. She has always been obsessed with her thighs & butt - always telling us they are too big & she wishes they were thinner. When I tell you she is thin as a rail right now, she is thin as a rail.

She went to the gyno last week & they weighed her, but she never told me what that weight was. I don't know if they'll give me the info if I call - she is not 18 yet, as I said. Also, the last 2X she was measured - last week & about 2 weeks prior she had shrunk an inch. I tried to research why a teen would lose an inch in her height on-line but found nothing.

DH & I are very concerned & don't know where to start with this. She is out of town on a school trip right now until Tuesday evening. I'm so concerned about her eating. Her sister is on the trip also & I told her to make sure she keeps an eye on her eating & hopefully she will, but right now there's not much else I can do.

Anyone else deal with this? Where do we star?. We don't want to frighten her by being accusatory, because if we are dealing with an eating disorder then she will just find other ways to hide food or also start binging & purging.

TIA for your help!

 

[AKL_Megs]

First, to you.

Do you know if there is any aspect of your DD's life in which she feels totally out of control? Friends? Sports? School work?

I ask because, almost ALL of the time, anorexia (and bulemia) is used as a way people gain control over SOMETHING in their lives... meaning their weight or food intake.

Is she depresed? Unfortunately, most anorexic (and bulimic) people tend to be depressed or really unhappy.

Have you had a good talk with her about this? She may be screaming for someone to notice her! Please, talk with her! Consult with her doctor! Going from a size 10 to a size 4 is WAY too much weightloss.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Wow. to you. It sounds like you may be in for a long road.

I don't have any experience but I would think the first thing you need to do is call her Primary Care doctor and let them know what is going on and get her in immediately to be evaluated. It certainly sounds like all the signs of an eating disorder and you can't help her alone. Your doctor should be able to guide you.

 

[minkydog]

I would be concerned too. I'm the mom of a DD16. She's a dancer and she has that very thin dancer's body. She wears a size 0, so I watch her like a hawk. So far she's doing well, not losing but not gaining either. However, if I see that she's not eating, exercising to the extreme, or if I suspect she's vomiting I will be on her like white on rice. Girls(and women) can die from an eating disorder.

I'd call her doctor with your concerns, maybe even go in for a consultation without her. Eating disorders are quite common amongst teenage girls and they have to be handled carefully. Since she's under 18 you still have control over her legally. I'd suggest you do something NOW because once she turns 18 she will be under no obligation to seek treatment if she does'n't want it.

I know you must be so worried.

 

[shrubber]

I know you will get a LOT of responses here about 'take her to doctor right away' ect.
I would offer this advice to try first.

Try the ' Hey, DD, I noticed that you seem to be eating healthier ( said with a smile )
Since I'm doing most of the cooking, is there anything I can do to help?
Frankly, I'd like to start eating healthier too, but i'm concerned about getting enough nutrition ect.
I'd be more than happy to help you along, or even join in ( this heathier eating ) if you let me know what sort of diet you are on or what your goals are......'

I will bet dollars to donuts that you will get more info out of her this way than if you do the
' Listen, we all love you and are concerned about your health and the dangers that accompany...blah, blah, blah...'

 

[Jane Doe]

First, to you.

Do you know if there is any aspect of your DD's life in which she feels totally out of control? Friends? Sports? School work?

I ask because, almost ALL of the time, anorexia (and bulemia) is used as a way people gain control over SOMETHING in their lives... meaning their weight or food intake.

Is she depresed? Unfortunately, most anorexic (and bulimic) people tend to be depressed or really unhappy.

Have you had a good talk with her about this? She may be screaming for someone to notice her! Please, talk with her! Consult with her doctor! Going from a size 10 to a size 4 is WAY too much weightloss.

Well, she had been on the swim team since 7th grade & had to quit last year due to a strong reaction to the chlorine that they use & the poor ventilation at the high school. It was affecting her asthma & her breathing. The was the one thing she did that was just hers, so it kind of did define her.

I don't find she is depressed, but I did mention to DH that I have noticed a change in her personality. She has always been a happy, easy going girl & the last few months she is not always herself. A little rebellious in her attitude & not seeming as enthusiastic about some things. This is not the norm for her.

DH & I did find something she had written months ago about how she didn't feel she "fit in". We talked to her about it & she said that it was written long ago & she did not feel that way but was having a bad day. It broke my heart.

She is very popular at school - on the senior class board - very well liked, always happy, always smiling, always doing something for someone else. She literally always thinks of the other person before thinking of herself & would give a stranger her last dime if they needed it. She was nominated for "most talkative" at school.

We spend a lot of time together as she works at my business with me. I spoke to her a few weeks ago & mentioned that she didn't seem as happy there as she has been in the past. She told me that sometimes she doesn't feel like she's qualified to do what I ask. Of course, I told her if she wasn't qualified I wouldn't put her in the position. She seemed fine when the conversation was over.

Her annual physical was cancelled on Friday & I have to call her ped tomorrow to reschedule. I hope we can get in soon.

 

[Jane Doe]

I know you will get a LOT of responses here about 'take her to doctor right away' ect.
I would offer this advice to try first.

Try the ' Hey, DD, I noticed that you seem to be eating healthier ( said with a smile )
Since I'm doing most of the cooking, is there anything I can do to help?
Frankly, I'd like to start eating healthier too, but i'm concerned about getting enough nutrition ect.
I'd be more than happy to help you along, or even join in ( this heathier eating ) if you let me know what sort of diet you are on or what your goals are......'

I will bet dollars to donuts that you will get more info out of her this way than if you do the
' Listen, we all love you and are concerned about your health and the dangers that accompany...blah, blah, blah...'

Thank you- I did think of this also & in reality could use a healthier diet myself.

This just worries me so much................

 

[AKL_Megs]

Well, she had been on the swim team since 7th grade & had to quit last year due to a strong reaction to the chlorine that they use & the poor ventilation at the high school. It was affecting her asthma & her breathing. The was the one thing she did that was just hers, so it kind of did define her.

I don't find she is depressed, but I did mention to DH that I have noticed a change in her personality. She has always been a happy, easy going girl & the last few months she is not always herself. A little rebellious in her attitude & not seeming as enthusiastic about some things. This is not the norm for her.

DH & I did find something she had written months ago about how she didn't feel she "fit in". We talked to her about it & she said that it was written long ago & she did not feel that way but was having a bad day. It broke my heart.

She is very popular at school - on the senior class board - very well liked, always happy, always smiling, always doing something for someone else. She literally always thinks of the other person before thinking of herself & would give a stranger her last dime if they needed it. She was nominated for "most talkative" at school.

We spend a lot of time together as she works at my business with me. I spoke to her a few weeks ago & mentioned that she didn't seem as happy there as she has been in the past. She told me that sometimes she doesn't feel like she's qualified to do what I ask. Of course, I told her if she wasn't qualified I wouldn't put her in the position. She seemed fine when the conversation was over.

Her annual physical was cancelled on Friday & I have to call her ped tomorrow to reschedule. I hope we can get in soon.

She sounds a little depressed, and it sounds like she might have some self esteem issues. Would you consider a therapist for her to talk to? Sometimes, talking to someone about things helps... she doesn't even need to talk about the eating... just what makes her feel inferior. Poor thing, 17 is a tough, tough time.

 

[luvdzny]

However, if I see that she's not eating, exercising to the extreme, or if I suspect she's vomiting I will be on her like white on rice

Actually that would be the worst approach. As a previous poster stated, most of the time eating disorders are about control, if you try to force her to eat, she will lose control. If she does have an eating disorder you will need professional help.

 

[Jane Doe]

She sounds a little depressed, and it sounds like she might have some self esteem issues. Would you consider a therapist for her to talk to? Sometimes, talking to someone about things helps... she doesn't even need to talk about the eating... just what makes her feel inferior. Poor thing, 17 is a tough, tough time.

DH & I actually discussed having her talk to someone this morning.

Also, we are going to do some on-line research later tonight about eating disorders.

I could scream because I had a "funny feeling" a few months ago & mentioned it to DH but he told me he thought the kids were just so busy that they were always eating on the run. Always go with a mother's first instinct! I'm not bashing my DH at all, he's on board with me in this, I'm kind of mad at myself that I didn't push the issue.

Funny thing is, she is going to college for psychology. DH wonders if the interest in psychology has something to do with how she's feeling herself.

 

[dakcp2001]

I think before confronting her, you need to sit down and think this all out before doing anything rash.

I would do a little more "watching". Are there any adults at school that could keep an eye out at lunch, but under the radar? Where is it that she is spending all of this time where she has "already eaten" ?

How well do you know her friends? They would know the extent of the problem. (it is obvious that there IS a problem). Can you talk to them or their parents to see if they have noticed anything?

Does she exercise? How much?

At least if you call the Dr he call tell you how to approach this and what to look out for. SO I would call him BEFORE doing any confronting.

 

[Sparx]

has she been to the dentist recently? maybe its time for a check up. a dentist can typically tell if she's been throwing up. i don't know if he would be able to give you that information though.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Actually that would be the worst approach. As a previous poster stated, most of the time eating disorders are about control, if you try to force her to eat, she will lose control. If she does have an eating disorder you will need professional help.

And, if they lose the control over the food, they almost always turn to cutting to make up the loss.

OP, please keep an eye on her. Please consider first giving her the option of someone to talk to. If she says no, it is your job as parents to see that she is taking care of herself, and if she says no, it shouldn't be an option anymore. Good luck to you. Let her know daily how beautiful she is - inside and out. She needs all the praise she can get right now. Give her a hug.

 

[focusondisney]

OP, while I have no personal experience with eating disorders, I am in the medical field.

What I do know is this.... the most common profile for eating disorders are teen girls, high achievers, popular, people pleasers who feel like they have no control over anything else in their lives. But at least they can control the food that they put in their mouths. while they don't eat themselves, they often have a high interest in food. They might like to cook for others or take a strong interest in nutrition. And say the weight loss is just because they're "eating healthy". It douesn't sound like she was over weight at the start of school, so eating healthy & weight loss should not have been necessary.

Sorry to get personal, but do you know if your daughter is still having her period? Absense of periods is a sure sign that her weight is dangerously low. Also hair loss & personality changes.

Op, if this was my daughter, I'd definately be conserned. But I would seek out professional advice BEFORE talking to daughter anymore. Pressure to eat can backfire. Again, she is not doing this to get skinny, but for CONTROL. Maybe start with Pediatrician Or the school counselor. You might be surprized to find the school may already be conserned, or at least they may know of eating disorder professionals in your area.

Good luck to you Op. My thoughts & prayers to your family.

 

[minkydog]

Actually that would be the worst approach. As a previous poster stated, most of the time eating disorders are about control, if you try to force her to eat, she will lose control. If she does have an eating disorder you will need professional help.

Oh, I would never force my daughter to eat. That is absolutely the wrong approach. They might comply when you're watching but I guarantee you they'll take the behavior underground. What I meant by my statement is that I would hop on the situation quickly, with a visit to the ped first and a visit to the psychiatrist second. As a peds nurse I have seen many, many young women with eating disorders. The ones who have been most successful have been in-house at a facility for young women with eating disorders. You can't be too careful when you're dealing with eating disorders. Their need for control is much stronger than their percieved need for food. Without treatment an eating disorder can continue well into the adult years, and complications (heart arrhymias, GI problems, kidney problems, dental problems) are extremely common.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

OP, I feel for you I really do.

She sounds exactly like my cousin. Who for some time and even now has some form of an eating disorder. Her mother chose to be her friend instead of stepping in and getting help. Even when my cousins friends said she had been different and was obsesses with going to the gym.

She does not eat alot and when she does she eats little bits. A big sign is what you said pushing her food around like she did eat something when she really didn't.

I do not agree with being her friend she is 17 years old and needs a parent to help her not a friend. This is a very serious issue that I feel is not taken seriously by schools either. They want students to be healthy so even if they are skinny they don't want to get involved.

Skinny does not equal healthy but that is what all these magazines and media portray to these young girls and its really sad. They will never look like these celebrities no matter how hard they try.

I would speak with your Dr. and see what he/she says. Don't confront her yet but it is something you will have to do. I wish you and your daughter luck.

 

[Jane Doe]

I think before confronting her, you need to sit down and think this all out before doing anything rash.

I would do a little more "watching". Are there any adults at school that could keep an eye out at lunch, but under the radar? Where is it that she is spending all of this time where she has "already eaten" ?

How well do you know her friends? They would know the extent of the problem. (it is obvious that there IS a problem). Can you talk to them or their parents to see if they have noticed anything?

Does she exercise? How much?

At least if you call the Dr he call tell you how to approach this and what to look out for. SO I would call him BEFORE doing any confronting.

She grabs something on the way out the door in the morning & eats in the car. Lunch, she's at school. A few nights a week we are at my business so she just takes a break & eats. I'm not always on a break with her at that time. We have dinner together a few nights a week as a family, but as everyone knows, it gets tougher & tougher as they get older.

I do know most of her friends pretty well. She is a twin & the girls both hang with the same kids. They are all high achievers & are a good group of kids. I check text messages as often as possible - when I can get their phones without them knowing. (I know, no one has to tell me I'm invading their privacy).

Exercise - she is a dancer. One of my first signs that I thought something was up was this summer when she started dragging out our old treadmill & running on it for miles. She seemed to do it when no one was home. I don't remember how I realized she was doing this - not that exercise is a bad thing, but she is really so, so thin already. I just found it odd that she would go in the basement to exercise, especially when we belong to a gym. She doesn't exercise to excess & does not go to the gym regularly, however.

OP, while I have no personal experience with eating disorders, I am in the medical field.

What I do know is this.... the most common profile for eating disorders are teen girls, high achievers, popular, people pleasers who feel like they have no control over anything else in their lives. But at least they can control the food that they put in their mouths. while they don't eat themselves, they often have a high interest in food. They might like to cook for others or take a strong interest in nutrition. And say the weight loss is just because they're "eating healthy". It douesn't sound like she was over weight at the start of school, so eating healthy & weight loss should not have been necessary.

Sorry to get personal, but do you know if your daughter is still having her period? Absense of periods is a sure sign that her weight is dangerously low. Also hair loss & personality changes.

Op, if this was my daughter, I'd definately be conserned. But I would seek out professional advice BEFORE talking to daughter anymore. Pressure to eat can backfire. Again, she is not doing this to get skinny, but for CONTROL. Maybe start with Pediatrician Or the school counselor. You might be surprized to find the school may already be conserned, or at least they may know of eating disorder professionals in your area.

Good luck to you Op. My thoughts & prayers to your family.

She is a major people pleaser, like I said.

I don't want to blast her with confrontation, because I do think it might backfire. I do believe she might be open to speaking with someone though. She is usually pretty easy to talk to as far as child/parents talking together. She's not a kid with a bad attitude that will slam the door in our faces. We've had conversations about things & she always sits & listens & really doesn't get defensive. I know, strange for a teen girl.

BTW - her oldest sister is a size 0/2 & her twin is about a 4/5. I know it's always bothered her that they were thinner than her. I used to say I could always tell their laundry apart because one was an XS, one a Small & her a Medium. Now I could kick myself for that statement.

 

[oregonmommyof2]

OP, I swear, reading your post, you could have been my mother writing it 14 years ago... I am going to apologize now, cause this is going to be LONG!

When I was in my Freshman year of High School I had an eating disorder... A lot of the previous posters had me pegged with their control reason. For me, that is exactly what it was. I had absolutely no control on anything in my life, my parents were very controlling and they thought that was in my best interest...

I slowly stopped eating... Would tell my parents that I had a big lunch at school, would tell my friends at lunchtime that I had a big breakfast... I would rotate between actually nibbling at the meals just enough to keep friends and parents from seeing what I was really doing...

Now, I was never what anyone would consider overweight, or even a good healthy weight... I always had a high metabolism... Could eat whatever I wanted and not gain an ounce.. (Wish I was like that now!) I honestly do not recall ever thinking I was fat when I wasn't eating either...

My parents finally started to notice that my clothes were getting baggy... They threw me on the scale, and then they let me have it! Yelled, lectured, and of course tried to force feed me... That was the first time I threw up... I never once made myself throw up, not in the finger down the throat way... But from that point on, it was like my mind was in control of my entire body and even if I tried not to, I would still throw up...

My doctor was also a very close family friend, we celebrated holidays together, and we were hitting Christmastime... I know my parents had talked to him by this point, but I had not seen him yet... We went out to dinner to exchange gifts... Red Lobster... I order chicken strips and french fries, I nibble a little and then I had to make my exit for the bathroom... Before I know, my doctor is behind me in the lady's room... He waited for me to finish and then he did the opposite of what I expected... He grabbed ahold of me and gave me the biggest hug... His wife had followed and also just hugged me... Told me how much they loved me, they were there for me, they had seen what I was going through hundreds of times, and that while they couldn't fix me on their own, they wanted to help me, fix myself... We went straight to his office and they weighed me, and took all of the stats... He talked to me about the eating disorders, and had me read a lot of information...

He also put a stop to my parents trying to force food on me and told them they had to step back just a bit cause this was something I had to do... He told them when my appointments were, and told them to secretly keep a log of my attitude, eating and energy, I didn't know about the log for some time...

I really tried, or at least I thought I was trying... I just couldn't get my brain to stop making me throw up... I was trying to eat more, probably not as much as I should have been, but I also knew I would throw up so I wouldn't eat in any situation that I could have been embarrassed in...

I kept losing weight, Doctor was not satisfied at all! He finally pulled me, along with my parents into his office and didn't say one word, he picked up his phone and did the one thing that he said he would if he thought I was in jeopardy of causing damage to my organs... He called the hospital and set up a room for me... Feeding tubes, IV's, the works... I started crying immediately...

He hung up the phone, looked at me, and said that he wasn't giving up on me, and we still had a lot of fixing to do, but he couldn't risk my life while we worked on it... I wasn't allowed to go to school dances or even out with friends, and my parents had actually agreed for me to go to a dance and football game that Friday... My Dad actually asked if I could wait until after Friday or if I could get out in time to go, then return to the hospital after wards... Doctor agreed that it could wait until the following Monday, but said that if I didn't lose anymore weight, I wouldn't have to go at all...

Let me tell you, I made it my life's ambition to not lose weight that week... Then the Doctor's wife called, she had an idea! I was allowed 2 phone calls per day no more than 10 minutes for each call... She said she had talked to another doctor and that he suggested to have me talk on the phone while I ate dinner... Said that it may take my mind off the food and onto my friend... We tried it that night, and while I did have the thoughts in my head... I never threw up... The rest of the week went very well, I only threw up like 2 times, I went to the football game and dance... Monday morning I went to the doctor and got on the scale... I had lost 3 ounces! I was so upset, but my doctor said that he expected me to actually cause my body was in shock from actually eating and he wasn't concerned with a few ounces, and that he could tell things were picking up from my parents food log... Things went really good from there on out, it took a lot of work on my part but also my parents part... They made sure to keep conversation going when we were eating, they let me have control over certain things in my life, and I got to have more of a social life... About a month later I got a boyfriend! And I have been fine ever since...

I am sorry this was so long, but I wanted share what it is like to be the person going through it...

And please realize that you can't fix it... She has to... All you can do is educate yourself on eating disorders, be supportive and encouraging, and make sure to get help... And please DO NOT ever try and force feed... It will backfire on you and she will try to hide things more...

Good luck!

 

[autumnpalm]

I am so sorry your family is going through this.

Please know that as your daughter's parents, you can be her closest allies against the eating disorder. Actually, eating disorders are not always about control. They are a biologically based illness that is triggered by the malnutrition of the brain. For more on that, look at the Minnesota Starvation Study. In a controlled environment, 36 young, healthy men were put on a calorie restricted diet. Within months they were displaying eating disordered behaviours. Once nutrition was restored, their behaviours began to disappear once more.

50-80% of the risk of eating disorders is genetic (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.libprox...ez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum)

The most important thing is that your daughter keeps eating. Think of food as her medicine. If your daughter had cancer, you would not let her skip her chemo treatments. Eating disorders are life threatening and deserve to be treated as such. As quickly as you can, I would suggest finding a team of a doctor and therapist and evaluating your daughter's health.

I would urge you to look into the Maudsley Method of eating disorder recovery. Please read this study from the University of Chicago. http://www.FEAST-ED.org/images/Adol_AN_Family_Interventions_Le_Grange_Eisler_.pdf

This is not your fault. This is not your daughter's fault. She is not choosing this.

I would visit www.aroundthedinnertable.org which is a message board for parents with children who have eating disorders. It advocates family based treatment but supports all families. Please also look at http://www.FEAST-ED.org/ a parent based organization for families fighting eating disorders.

Keep us updated and find professional help as soon as you can. The longer you let this go, the greater the risk of the problem becoming serious. My PM box is always open as a person with firsthand experience.

Sending you hugs and prayers.

 

[Jane Doe]

I am so sorry your family is going through this.

Please know that as your daughter's parents, you can be her closest allies against the eating disorder. Actually, eating disorders are not always about control. They are a biologically based illness that is triggered by the malnutrition of the brain. For more on that, look at the Minnesota Starvation Study. In a controlled environment, 36 young, healthy men were put on a calorie restricted diet. Within months they were displaying eating disordered behaviours. Once nutrition was restored, their behaviours began to disappear once more.

50-80% of the risk of eating disorders is genetic (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.libprox...ez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum)

The most important thing is that your daughter keeps eating. Think of food as her medicine. If your daughter had cancer, you would not let her skip her chemo treatments. Eating disorders are life threatening and deserve to be treated as such. As quickly as you can, I would suggest finding a team of a doctor and therapist and evaluating your daughter's health.

I would urge you to look into the Maudsley Method of eating disorder recovery. Please read this study from the University of Chicago. http://www.FEAST-ED.org/images/Adol_AN_Family_Interventions_Le_Grange_Eisler_.pdf

This is not your fault. This is not your daughter's fault. She is not choosing this.

I would visit www.aroundthedinnertable.org which is a message board for parents with children who have eating disorders. It advocates family based treatment but supports all families. Please also look at http://www.FEAST-ED.org/ a parent based organization for families fighting eating disorders.

Keep us updated and find professional help as soon as you can. The longer you let this go, the greater the risk of the problem becoming serious. My PM box is always open as a person with firsthand experience.

Sending you hugs and prayers.

Thank you so much.