I think I just might skip Christmas

[luvsJack]

This comment is a true contribution as to why some (I'm not saying ALL) kids act the way they do. God forbid a kids self esteem be broken to teach a lesson. A little humiliation and humbleness never hurts ANYONE. It DOES hurt their pride and self esteem. However, kids who tell their parents to F off have entirely too MUCH self esteem to begin with. Because apparently it doesn't matter how that kid made someone ELSE feel by their actions in the first place? It's like saying that no matter how a child acts they should never be on the "hurt" end of a situation...I don't agree with that AT ALL.

I'm sorry but I don't think you have any clue what self esteem even is.

Self esteem does not make a kid talk back, get into trouble or act out. Self esteem is what makes a kid excel in school or a sport or the arts. Self esteem is what gives that kid the knowledge that the can succeed in life and gives them self respect so that they don't use drugs or sleep around. Self esteem gives them the ability to treat others with respect and love because before first they have to love and respect themselves.

Do kids need discipline? Yes. Do they need less self esteem? NEVER


Wanted to make clear: I am not against spanking. But, I have a huge issue with someone slapping a child in the face.

 

[TriMom]

whatever you need to think to make yourself feel better at the end of the day is fine by me. But to say hitting is OK is nonsense. All hitting does is distract the child from learning how to resolve conflict in an effective long term way.

I respectfully disagree with that. And it comes from experience. I do not think that the first thing I need to do to resolve a conflict if to haul off and deck someone. I am quite capable of behaving in a respectful, adult manner.

And do you know WHY I am capable of behaving reasonably? I will accredit it to my mom slapping me across the face when I was a teenager. I had been horribly mean to her for weeks. I said terrible things to her. Finally one day she had enough and slapped me. Then she said "Did that hurt? Good. Because you are hurting me with your words. Your words are the most powerful tool you have. You can hurt someone much worse with what you say than by ever hitting them."

And that was what finally stuck in my adolescent brain. That saying terrible things to my mom was worse than slapping her, and that I didn't enjoy being slapped. And my mom probably didn't enjoy being a verbal punching bag. I think that it HELPED me. And I think that there are situations where a spanking is the best option to get a point across.

I am very glad that my mom chose to slap me instead of verbally berating me and teaching me that screaming matches are a great way to communicate. Because I can use words carefully to get my point across. I don't have to resort to passive-aggressive behavior. I don't have to belittle people to get my point across. My DH and I very rarely fight. We don't always agree on topics, but we can calmly discuss them, because I don't want to hurt him with my words. Which is the lesson that I learned from being slapped.

 

[Holly]

I am 250% against corporal punishment, without a doubt. It is a literally a deal breaker for me, my future children will never be spanked in any way.

That being said, it is absolutely none of your business. It is not against the law for a parent to spank their child.

First, this is a discussion board. We're discussing it.

Second, spanking most definitely can be illegal, depending on where you live and the severity of the force that they are hit and whether or not it causes injury.


I don't think that every parent that chooses to spank is horrible, but I absolutely agree with Inkedupmomma that it is inappropriate to be encouraging the OP to smack her daughter in the face.

Aside from the fact that I am personally against hitting children, it obviously didn't do the OP any good if her daughter has continued this behavior.

 

[threecrazykids]

I say we cut to the chase here. Let's set up a cage match with the non spankers v. the spankers!
May the best parents win!

 

[Holly]

I say we cut to the chase here. Let's set up a cage match with the non spankers v. the spankers!
May the best parents win!

 

[klacey1]

I say we cut to the chase here. Let's set up a cage match with the non spankers v. the spankers!
May the best parents win!

I brought the !

 

[bluesaturn]

First, this is a discussion board. We're discussing it.

Second, spanking most definitely can be illegal, depending on where you live and the severity of the force that they are hit and whether or not it causes injury.


I don't think that every parent that chooses to spank is horrible, but I absolutely agree with Inkedupmomma that it is inappropriate to be encouraging the OP to smack her daughter in the face.

Aside from the fact that I am personally against hitting children, it obviously didn't do the OP any good if her daughter has continued this behavior.

Usually I am also the first to say, this is a discussion board. But honestly Inkedupmomma was being way too pushy about it. I am completely against spanking, and even I was annoyed. It was like she was taking a personal objection to it.

I know some spanking is illegal, for example hitting with an object. But all spanking is not illegal.

 

[inkedupmomma]

Usually I am also the first to say, this is a discussion board. But honestly Inkedupmomma was being way too pushy about it. I am completely against spanking, and even I was annoyed. It was like she was taking a personal objection to it.

I know some spanking is illegal, for example hitting with an object. But all spanking is not illegal.

Seriously?? How was I being pushy? because I am trying to prove a point? I guess everyone else was being pushy as well. There is nothing personal about this.

People are saying spanking is OK. Then back peddle and claim they only did it once, oh and it was there teenager.

At WHAT point is it OK to hit? at what age, what warrants a spanking??? you are saying it is OK to hit..just There seems to be so many rules on when it is OK to hit, yet do not clarify these rules.

my original point was that we should not encourage each other to go hit (ever, not at the first sign of bad behavior and not after the millionth warning). Because you NEVER know who you may be encouraging.

Also my original post was based on someone encouraging the hitting of a child with ODD. Clearly that person has no knowledge of any spectrum disorders, let alone ODD. (which that person was quoting the OP wrong to begin with! she hit her daughter NOT her ODD son).

As Holly said, spanking is lazy parenting. It is a way to intimidate your child into listening to you. Is one time going t kill your kid?? NO. But I never said anything about one time. Spanking indicates doing it more than once.

I'm not in anyone's business in real life, but the topic was brought up on here, and I chose to reply. I am free to be as passionate about something as I want. As you are free to get involved in something when you don't even have children.

 

[bluesaturn]

Seriously?? How was I being pushy? because I am trying to prove a point? I guess everyone else was being pushy as well. There is nothing personal about this.

People are saying spanking is OK. Then back peddle and claim they only did it once, oh and it was there teenager.

At WHAT point is it OK to hit? at what age, what warrants a spanking??? you are saying it is OK to hit..just There seems to be so many rules on when it is OK to hit, yet do not clarify these rules.

my original point was that we should not encourage each other to go hit (ever, not at the first sign of bad behavior and not after the millionth warning). Because you NEVER know who you may be encouraging.

Also my original post was based on someone encouraging the hitting of a child with ODD. Clearly that person has no knowledge of any spectrum disorders, let alone ODD. (which that person was quoting the OP wrong to begin with! she hit her daughter NOT her ODD son).

As Holly said, spanking is lazy parenting. It is a way to intimidate your child into listening to you. Is one time going t kill your kid?? NO. But I never said anything about one time. Spanking indicates doing it more than once.

I'm not in anyone's business in real life, but the topic was brought up on here, and I chose to reply. I am free to be as passionate about something as I want. As you are free to get involved in something when you don't even have children.

The disney loving moms junk for one. I don't understand, are people who like Disney supposed to be better parents?

Also you said another poster's tone was disgusting. Referred to another one's post as nonsense. The bolding was kind of obnoxious too.

I'm not saying you are wrong, I agree with your opinion. But I thought you were being pushy. And to me it's making your argument just about as effective as spanking a kid to teach them respect. I'm not trying to tell you to stop though, maybe you are getting through to people.

 

[inkedupmomma]

The disney loving moms junk for one. I don't understand, are people who like Disney supposed to be better parents?
no of course not! my point was, and maybe it is just my opinion, is that it is a disney board. I think disney, and i think happy, loving, sunshine and rainbows
Also you said another poster's tone was disgusting. Referred to another one's post as nonsense. The bolding was kind of obnoxious too.
i referred to that person as disgusting because they said my tone was obnoxious. Her tone truly did/does disgust me. Perhaps, I should have used a less insulting term though! and yes, I did say nonsense, because saying hitting is Ok is rubbish. No matter how you slice it, it is never a good idea. No matter how much you defend it. Bolding is obnoxious, but gets the point across sometimes

I'm not saying you are wrong, I agree with your opinion. But I thought you were being pushy. And I think it's making your argument just about as effective as spanking a kid to teach them respect. I'm not trying to tell you to stop though, maybe you are getting through to people.

You say pushy, I say passionate I just hate debating a subject when people can not even back up their statements. I'm not well written, so sometimes I repeat myself for lack of other words. I'm really actually a nice diser. I do not like to see people encouraging such ridiculous behavior. I sincerely hope I got just one person to look at their actions and say , hmm, maybe it's not just my kid being a tool. Maybe I play a part in this? But to say you tried everything else, and then continue to say it was only the one time, oh and said child was a teenager..I mean come on, which is it? Spanking a child once in their entire life is not the same as spanking

 

[inkedupmomma]

Oh, and that last time I bolded to differentiate our posts

 

[threecrazykids]

You say pushy, I say passionate I just hate debating a subject when people can not even back up their statements. I'm not well written, so sometimes I repeat myself for lack of other words. I'm really actually a nice diser. I do not like to see people encouraging such ridiculous behavior. I sincerely hope I got just one person to look at their actions and say , hmm, maybe it's not just my kid being a tool. Maybe I play a part in this? But to say you tried everything else, and then continue to say it was only the one time, oh and said child was a teenager..I mean come on, which is it? Spanking a child once in their entire life is not the same as spanking

Wait...not that you really care, but I'm not the original poster. I AM the person who said I have swatted my kids mouth one time. Just don't want you to confuse the 2. Clearly you don't agree with either one of us...but you're making it sound like the story of the original poster changed. I think there may be confusion.
All I said was that the one time my son (at the time 13, now 15) called me a b**ch he got popped in the mouth and yes, it worked. I have no clue if the OP does this regularly...but I surely don't.

 

[Lorix2]

hi everyone,

OP here.

I hate the fact you are arguing about me spanking my DD. It was more a swift tap to the mouth, but I won't respond any further about that.

Having a very difficult time with DS12.

I realize taking away Christmas will not solve much at all, I was so angry and needed to vent, didn't mean to cause arguments between anyone.