I should have bit my tounge, but couldn't

[jmartinez1895]

My son and I had to make a trip to the grocery store yesterday and he uses a service dog. All of the people that work there are used to us and because we live in a small town most of the people have seen us out and about so we don't get alot of attention anymore, until..... We are doing our thing and this older woman ( who is using a walker) says very loud "How tack, they brought a dog is here with all the food". I just kept on and did not even acknowledge that I had heard her, but she started following us around. She was not looking at anything on the shelves, just us. After I wove in and out of about 5 or six isles I had had it. I turned, pointed at her and said very loudly to my son "How tacky, an old woman with nothing better to do than follow us around the store." She walked off and I never saw her again. I thought it was a little funny, but I know I could have been nicer. I hope she maybe now gets the point that she was rude also. BTW, my sons dog wears a bright red vest that reads in big letters "Service Dog". Anyway I just wanted to vent and see if anyone else out there has ever said something not so nice when dealing with people not understanding there disability.

 

[ireland_nicole]

yeah. Like you, I try to be nice, but sometimes people are so hateful, and I do lost my patience with them. Honestly, while I wouldn't recommend your response being standard,(and I don't think at all that it is for you) I don't think it was that bad. I've said a couple of things in my time that I probably couldn't repeat in front of my kids

 

[C&G'sMama]

You're nicer than I am. I would have looked at DS and said, oh honey that poor old woman is illiterate, shall we read the big white letters on the big red vest that says SERVICE DOG?

You're human like the rest of us. And yes, we try to be good and we try to be patient. But when a lady who looked at my then 5 yo son while I was tying his shoes and said to him "your a big boy, your mom shouldn't have to do that for you" I say to him " Yup, buddy that's why you're in OT so you can learn these things" She turned red, gulped and walked away. He'll be 7 in May, we get laceless shoes.

 

[KirstenB]

OP I think your answer was pretty funny!!

 

[momejay]

I lost my cool once with a parent of a child that was following us & had her eyes glued on my DS. DS has autism & do to some bad drug interactions at the time he was twitching.
This young lady asked a few questions & I politely answered. Next isle at grocery store...more questions...more polite answers...Next isle..standing in front of cart trying to get DS to make eye contact or talk. I politely asked the child to stay away, as DS was getting upset. (No one needs a tantrum in the grocery store) She tries to ride on my shopping cart. DS bites his hand & growls at her. He reaches for the child's hair. While restraining him, I push her away.
Child's mother appears from nowhere yelling at me saying something to the effect of...I have no business bringing such a thing to the store. I said, "What should I do? Chain him to a tree in the back yard?" I told her she should teach her child to stay with her parent in a store as not all strangers are as nice as me.
I think it happens to all of us at some point. We all have bad days.

 

[livndisney]

You know, you just can't fix stupid.

I would not feel bad. Maybe just maybe that "lady" will THINK before she speaks next time. (Maybe)


I know for a good while I was the poster child for people asking STUPID questions. I "tried" to be nice, I really did. But the comments got dumber and the questions got more personal. And my DD started to understand more. And it started to hurt her. So I stopped being "nice". Now I just try to "stun" them long enough to get away

 

[LockShockBarrel]

In general I'd say it's better not to get into it with "the stupids" as I usually call them, but sometimes its just like..COME ON! I think there's times where no matter how calm of a person you are, there's times where someone's just going to push you over the edge and it makes sense to snap back at them. Some people don't realize they're staring or their comments are rude, so yeah you don't freak out immediately, but after a certain point, maybe snapping at them will get them to realize they're doing it. If they go out of their way to be annoying or to prove their point like it sounds this old woman was doing in OP's story, I would have done the same thing if not worse. What makes her special that she can pass judgement? If you're one of those people who can not say something back and push it out of your mind, fine, but not everyone can do that and I'd rather say something back and hope commentor or what have you thinks twice next time then stew over it the rest of the day.

Woo..ok off my soapbox now. These stories always fire me up

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

OP, I think you were spot on. Sometimes you just need to get one in, as I can imagine you've had lots of those people cross your path.

I once heard of a guy who had some pituitary (sp?) disorder. He was really tall. After so long, his mom started making t-shirts for him to wear that had responses already on them. The two that stuck in my mind were "Yes, I'm tall. No, I don't play basketball" and "I'm not really tall, you're really short". Shocking? Maybe... genius? Definately.

Chin up, maybe some day that old broad will understand she was in the wrong.

 

[Schmeck]

You know, who is to say that the 'old lady' wasn't mentally disabled herself? Wow, quick to judge here aren't we?

Went to the grocery store yesterday, and there were at least 8 mentally and/or physically challenged adults doing some shopping. They were from a group home that brings a shuttle a few times a week. I kept meeting one older man as we went up and down the aisles. He was talking to himself, and he would look me up and down as I went by. I smiled at him and said good morning, and he got a great big smile on his face.

There are quite a few things I've learned from this forum - don't judge people comes first. That kid having a tantrum in the store isn't always just a brat, the mother letting the kid 'get away with it' isn't a bad mother, and the child may not be getting away with anything besides his frustration. The older man taking all that time to pick the perfect apples may have OCD. The woman who left her cart blocking the aisle may have a physical disabilty and can't move a certain way to get that cart over to the side.

 

[AJKMOM]

You know, who is to say that the 'old lady' wasn't mentally disabled herself? Wow, quick to judge here aren't we?

Went to the grocery store yesterday, and there were at least 8 mentally and/or physically challenged adults doing some shopping. They were from a group home that brings a shuttle a few times a week. I kept meeting one older man as we went up and down the aisles. He was talking to himself, and he would look me up and down as I went by. I smiled at him and said good morning, and he got a great big smile on his face.

There are quite a few things I've learned from this forum - don't judge people comes first. That kid having a tantrum in the store isn't always just a brat, the mother letting the kid 'get away with it' isn't a bad mother, and the child may not be getting away with anything besides his frustration. The older man taking all that time to pick the perfect apples may have OCD. The woman who left her cart blocking the aisle may have a physical disabilty and can't move a certain way to get that cart over to the side.

Even if she was challenged, it was wrong of her to follow them through the store for 4 or 5 aisles, without even pretending to shop. I volunteer with special-needs individuals all the time, and I have no problem trying to teach them to be considerate of others. My autistic son has more manners than to follow a service dog around and make comments.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

You know, who is to say that the 'old lady' wasn't mentally disabled herself? Wow, quick to judge here aren't we?

I work with two blind kids and I can't tell you the number of times we've been followed, or games have been played with their cane, or having a teacher literally "collect" them to say, "I've taught a blind kid!"

Maybe she was challenged herself, but again, she followed them. How unnerving is it to have someone follow you because they think a guide dog is a pet? Most of the time it sounds like OP can remain polite, but my simple comment was sometimes you just have to let a snarky remark out. She showed remorse in her post, that was simply my opinion of the matter. We all have bad days and OP just happened to be caught in a tough place. Quick to judge? I don't really think so, but that's just my humble opinion.

 

[darthspud]

I work as a teaching assistant at special ed school in the high school I have one student who has some great t-shirts...

One of them is like "Ive got CP... what's your problem?" another is like "don't dis-ability" that one is from a leadership counsel that he belongs to.. and the only other one that i remember is some thing about his hearing aids.. its like "I'm not listening to you... I turned my hearing aids off" its something like that

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

.. and the only other one that i remember is some thing about his hearing aids.. its like "I'm not listening to you... I turned my hearing aids off" its something like that

That's awesome! It reminds me of the time my girl was talking to a classmate about how it was that she and her sister was in the same class. The girl responded, "she's my twin... but we don't look anything alike." And my girl said, "Hmm... would have never noticed!"

 

[livndisney]

Even if she was challenged, it was wrong of her to follow them through the store for 4 or 5 aisles, without even pretending to shop. I volunteer with special-needs individuals all the time, and I have no problem trying to teach them to be considerate of others. My autistic son has more manners than to follow a service dog around and make comments.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Hey all,

Nobody's judging anyone. A mom got frustrated at an annoying lady and said something. What I like about these forums is that's it's a safe place to vent with other parents who get it. That sometimes the mother cub comes out and we want to protect our young.

I am truly grateful that all of you are here to listen.

-A

 

[ILuvMulan]

Been there, done that, and if they made a t-shirt I would have it. In our case it was a older man. I do try to remind myself that when the older generation was younger that kids like mine where put in a "home" somewhere and never talked about again. I feel blessed that most days my son does not experience such prejudice and is accepted. But there are those days... and a Mom can only take so much. As stated before "You can't cure stupid... they haven't made a pill for that yet."

 

[kaytieeldr]

How tacky, an old woman with nothing better to do than follow us around the store." She walked off and I never saw her again. I thought it was a little funny, but I know I could have been nicer

Oh, please. You tolerated the lack of tact at LEAST five aisles longer than necessary, and then you had just the right amount of assertiveness to address the problem head-on (in more than one way ).

She deserved MUCH worse than you said to her!

 

[Stag]

I personally think it's kind of a funny comment too, but then again, fellow SD handler here-- I once had a girl in her teens follow me around the MALL once, making snarky comments to her friend and giving my dog these absolutely disgusted looks... like, if my dog is so gross, WHY would you follow us?

 

[jmartinez1895]

We get the "gross" looks too. I can;t stand it when we are eating and someone will say somethng about us having a dog inside. My dog is no more "gross" then his chewing with his mouth wide open. Either way, I'm glad that some of you got a laugh at our trip to the store with the "old lady". I did run into her AGAIN the otehr day and after she saw us she would not even look in our direction so I think we made our point.

 

[kampfirekim]

So glad I'm not the only one who gets her fill of the rudeness! At the zoo DS5 (at the time only 3 or 4) w/Autism and ADHD, was in the middle of a meltdown when two ladies seated very nearby at an outdoor table completely turned their chairs around for a better look!! After so long my cheeks were fiery hot and with bulging eyes I stared back until THEY were uncomfortable and turned away. Like ya'll I try to keep my cool, but sometimes you just can't help it!
P.S.
DH's cousin also has a child with ASD. She bought a T-shirt for her DS that says "Go ahead and stare. I have Autism and I'm not paying attention to you anyway!