I need to vent...

[bananda]

My sister hates my boyfriend (who we shall call "T"). She says she can't be around him for that long. So whenever he's coming over, I give her advance warning. We both live at home because we're studying and can't afford to move out yet.

Anyway, I usually spend lots of time at T's house because she doesn't like him but recently she seems to be acting more friendly towards him. Because he wants to get to know my family better and they seem to be getting along, I've been inviting him over to our house more often. Today, I informed her that he would be visiting on thursday night and she asked me why he's always over now and why can't I just go over his place. When I reminded her that T is not over nearly as much as her boyfriend (who we'll call "C"), she responded with "exactly."

I don't understand why my boyfriend of almost 6 months shouldn't be here just as often as her boyfriend of about 3 weeks. In actual fact, C is here much more often than T is because they live together and my sister refuses to go to their place. I'm getting very sick of my sister's attitude towards my boyfriend. He has never seen her as anything other than a friend and has even tried to fix things but she refuses to budge. Ever since we started dating she's decided that he hates her and doesn't see the point in trying to fix things when he apparently doesn't want to be her friend. This is very hard on both me and T and I just don't know what to do. I've tried talking to her but we always just end up fighting about it. I understand if she still sees me as younger than I am because I am her little sister and I get that she wants to protect me. But I'm 20 years old now and mature enough to make my own decisions.

Sorry. I'm just really upset and don't have anyone to vent to, especially because we share all our friends. Sorry.
/rant.

 

[Disney Doll]

Ignore your sister and live your life. She'll suck it up and get over it eventually.

 

[PunkRockGirl]

Ignore your sister and live your life. She'll suck it up and get over it eventually.

what she said. no one can live your life for you and you can't live yours to please other people.

 

[castmember19]

May I ask why she does not like your boyfriend?

 

[bananda]

May I ask why she does not like your boyfriend?

I think the main reason is because she thinks he doesn't like her. But she has also mentioned not thinking we are mature enough to be in a serious relationship. Because she doesn't spend much time with him she has never seen his more serious side. I think she also takes things he says the wrong way sometimes and finds offence where there is none intended, something she does with things I say too.

 

[katesorad]

I think the main reason is because she thinks he doesn't like her. But she has also mentioned not thinking we are mature enough to be in a serious relationship. Because she doesn't spend much time with him she has never seen his more serious side. I think she also takes things he says the wrong way sometimes and finds offence where there is none intended, something she does with things I say too.

Sounds like one big lack of communication. Why not go to dinner together (tell your sister it would mean a LOT to you) and talk things out?

 

[bananda]

Sounds like one big lack of communication. Why not go to dinner together (tell your sister it would mean a LOT to you) and talk things out?

Thanks for the idea, but I'm honestly not sure that would work. I have tried to explain that he does not actually dislike her at all but she's very stubborn and won't believe me. I recently wrote her a letter tryig to explain some things but so far it doesn't seem like she's interested in changing her opinion.

 

[golfgal]

You both sound kind of immature to me if you can't spend a couple hours in the same house with the boyfriend around. Without knowing her side of the story it is hard to comment on what to do, however in my experience, usually if your family doesn't like a boyfriend/girlfriend there is usually a good reason. Now, that could be that your family is the issue or it could be the boyfriend. Has she acted like this toward other boyfriends? Did you get along before this boyfriend came into the picture?