I need some serious help.

[I Am What I Am]

I have two thoughts of this thread.

LOSE. You will LOSE him.
Sluts are loose

ADVICE. Advise, is a verb. To advise.

Thank you! I've been reading this thread and that was starting to bug me. XD

My ADVICE? ()

Tell him you aren't allowed to date yet, but that you will be able to in 6 months. Tell him that you can't text him. Handle this the mature way.

 

[SKJA124]

I have two thoughts of this thread.

LOSE. You will LOSE him.
Sluts are loose

ADVICE. Advise, is a verb. To advise.

hahaha THANK YOU!!!
that was really bugging me lmao. =]

 

[cindys_castle2011]

I'm writing this before I read any one elses replies. Just to let you know.

I'm not judging you in any way possible, cause I, myself, am sixteen and very much in love with my boyfriend.

First thing- If you don't think he'd like you w/ out makeup, straightened hair, etc. This might be more of an exterior relationship instead of a deeply, madly in love interior one as well.

I don't think I'd be able to date someone who I thought wouldn't like me if I didn't have on makeup. My boyfriend actually gets mad when I wear makeup or when I don't leave my natural curls in. Not mad, but he encourages me to stay the way I am. That he loves me for ME and not all that stuff that beatifies me.

So, if I would think that he wouldn't love me anymore with out any of that stuff, I definitely wouldn't give up the other things I love for him.

Like I said, I'm not judging you because I'm in a great relationship with someone I couldn't stand loosing.. but if he's not willing to see the REAL you, then I just wouldn't give up anything that's important to me.

 

[cindys_castle2011]

Robin, I know exactly what you are going through. My parents don't allow me to date until I'm 21, and I'm 3 months shy of turning twenty, and I'm already engaged to my fiance, who is 23. My parents don't know I'm with him, they just think he is my best friend but I plan to slowly let them know that I love him and that I want to be with him forever. If you really feel like you can't live without him, like I do with my boyfriend, then take route 2. If you can wait till your parents allow you to date, then do just that. At least, they could let you have him as a best friend, and I'm sure once they get to know him better, they could make an exception. I think my mom knows, and she's just waiting for me to drop the bomb. Good luck!

I don't think I'd be able to date, not alone get engaged to someone without my parents knowing. I guess that's just because I've been so close with them my entire life. My mom is like my best friend. I could NEVER keep something like that from her.

You can't date until you're 21 ? Usually it's 18 when your parents can't really say what you HAVE to do, unless you're living with them I guess..

Hope you don't mind me giving you my advice, as a parent. I think the reason your parents might not have wanted you to date was because they felt you'd be throwing away your life and making irrational or poor decisions if you were in a relationship. Maybe giving up everything that you enjoy and that makes you who you are, or giving up on college, etc. just to be with a boy. At this point, if you want your parents to take you and your relationship seriously, show them that you can be trusted. Make the rational, instead of emotional decisions. Show them that you will still be responsible (grades, chores, etc.) and that this boy should be seen as a great addition to your life, not something that is distracting you from your other responsibilities. And if this boy is "the one", it will work out, whether it's now or years down the road.

FWIW, I dated someone from the end of my freshman year through graduation. We broke up right after graduation and I kick myself for having wasted my high school years on him. At the time though, you couldn't tell me I wasn't in love. A few weeks later, I began dating my husband. I'm out of school 25 years now. Can't say it's been easy, but we're still together. Just wanted to share that so you'll know that I have been where you are.

Hope my rambling helps in some way. Being in love (or at least believing you are) is the best and worst of everything, all rolled into one. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Agreed!

I'm going to say this in the nicest way I know how.

You sound really emotionally dependant on him. If he is your only way to wake up in the morning, to be strong, to be happy, then there's something wrong. I truly believe that you need to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else.

If you don't think that your love can last a few months until you turn 18, then how do you expect it to last forever? Waiting until you're able to make your own decisions is, IMO, your best option. If you two are truly in love, then a couple months apart won't dissolve that.

Also, this is your first relationship. You have nothing to compare it to. Don't you think maybe you should explore a little before potentially ruining your GPA for this guy? I'm really not trying to judge if you're in love or not; I'm just trying to clear your head, so you can see what your options are.

Kinda what I was trying to say. Just couldn't put it into words! I might be only 16 and I do love my boyfriend. But I am independent. I know that if I loose him or if something goes wrong I'm not going to "DIE". I know that it'll be okay, and I will at some point move on.

I wouldn't say he is the reason for my living and being. He is a huge part of my life. But at the moment my school, family, and faith are my biggest things. And he finds his way into my life by going through all of those. If you know what I mean.

As for the OP, right now, your school should really be your biggest worry. If you're a senior.. which I think you are. This should be the time you really should crack down in school and making plans for college and after high school. If you want this guy in your life after you graduate then find a way to make your parents trust you, that you can juggle school and having a serious relationship. But do not put him first in your life.

"Don't make someone your everything. Cause if they leave you'll have nothing"

PigletGurl: I don't think I could ever be engaged to someone and not let my parents know. Keeping that kind of secret would KILL me

And my contribution to this thread:
I think the reason why your parents are giving you this option is the bare fact that YOU WENT BEHIND THEIR BACKS. You lost that basic trust with them. It's very hard to build that trust up again with your parents after lying about something as serious as this relationship. I think the fact that they're being so harsh is because they couldn't believe that you betrayed their trust.

IMO, I think they're less angry about you dating before you were allowed to, than they are about you deceiving them for all that time you were with your bf

ITA.

Again to the OP, I think if you would have went to them in the beginning and had an adult conversation with them about how you feel about this guy, then it might have turned out a little different than it is now.

 

[BabyPiglet]

Robin, you shouldn't have asked for advice if you weren't going to take it.

Also, you sound like you really don't love yourself at all. You don't think you're worthy of him, and you're not even sure if he really cares about you.

You've said yourself, multiple times, that you have an obsessive personality. Are you sure this isn't just your next big thing? Something you can get really attached to?

I think you need to try and turn the emotional part in your brain off for a minute, so you can make the logical decisions.

Good luck, that's all I have to say.

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

Thank you all for the advice. Some of it was harsh, but it was what I needed.