I Need Some Serious Help w/ Work Problem

[maciec]

Hi! I occassionally post on the Community Board and you all have been great when I do.

I really need some advice on how to handle a situation with my boss.

Little Background: I have know and worked with this woman for the past 10 years of which she has been my bos for 3 years. I have always considered her to be my friend and I have always looked up to her.

Situation Now: My boss righted a wrong that has she and our previous boss had been letting occur for a long time. When she did it, it totally turned my homelife upside down. She sent the notice out via a memo and gave us about two weeks notice that what we were doing had to end within that 2 weeks. Basically what it was had to do with our schedules (we work 3 12 hour days and 1 6 - what we were doing was on the 6 hour day whoever was your opposite would just work your 6 one week and I would work the other persons 6 the week after ... turns out we were violating Federal Law by doing so). My husband and I have always worked opposite schedules so that someone it always home with the kids. By doing the switch with whomever was my opposite gave my husband and I 2 days a month off together. Now that my boss has taken this away we have 0 days off together unless one of us calls in sick or takes a night off.

I work with 14 other people. A majority of us got together and said that along with this schedule change we didn't like some of the other things that were going on at work, so we called an employee meeting the night before having a staff meeting with our boss. Prior to this meeting we decided that we would like a different schedule so we called the labor board and our HR department to see if what we were thinking about was feasable. They all said that it was. We had planned then to bring it up to our boss at the staff meeting because there was no sense it bringing it up if it wasn't feasable.

Staff Meeting: HOLY COW! OMG! I haven't been able to eat or sleep since because I have been so upset. My boss totally took what we did the wrong way. She said that we were calling secret meetings and going around her back and bucking the chain. She said that we broke her trust and because of what we did people are going to basically pay the consequences. Days off are going to start being denied and there will be no special schedule considerations. It's like we were threatened me in particular. The meeting was very hostile. It was awful! No matter how hard myself and others tried we couldn't get her to believe that what we did had no malicious intent behind it. We couldn't make her understand.

So, here it is 1 am and I can't sleep again. For the past 2 days my appetite has gone out the window and sleep is not coming easily. I cannot get what happened at this meeting off of my mind. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go back to work Monday. I have no ambition to be there. Problem is, is that I really love my job. DH and I have talked about me quitting and being a stay at home mom, but he doesn't make enough money to carry our load even if we cut back. I am at a total loss. I would like to meet with my boss and talk to her to try and rectify what happened. I know that I can't let it go on. I just don't want to have a sit down in her office. Would it be appropriate to ask her if she would meet me out somewhere like the park or some place else neutral? How do I get her to understand that I thought I was a valuable employee and friend that she could have at least taken the time to acutally meet with me instead of sending me a memo. She litterally turned my world upside down. Instead of 26 days a year off with my husband I don't have any.

Sorry to have rambled, I hope that someone out there can help me and give me some words of wisdom or even a solution.

Thanks for listening even if you don't respond!

 

[RNMOM]

Maciec, do you work in health care? Your schedule sounds like a nurses.

First, DON'T meet with your boss alone or outside of work. It will NOT go well for you. No matter what is said it can/will be turned around on you possibly. How about having one other staff member and maybe someone from HR meet with you and your boss to try to calm things down. Keep records of any conversations and any emails, print them and keep them. If this all blows up and you are on the receiving end you might need any of this. Was the meeting recorded on audio tape? Try to get a copy.

It is never okay for any manager or employee to make the threats she did. Do you get to self schedule at all? We do a pencil copy and our manager tweeks it rolleyes: ) in other words, redoes the whole dang thing.

She may need some time to calm herself down and so do you before any conversations can be fruitful. If you feel you must how about an email,copy to yourself, that simply says you feel badly that she is upset, it was not the groups intention and you would like an opportunity to discuss it with her and another coworker. At least you are then making a gesture.

Good luck and protect yourself in this.

 

[Hopetobee]

Evidently the lady feels very threatened--you need to give it a few days, if only to give her time to calm down. After a while try talking to her again, with some other employees, about the fact you were only trying to figure this out legally. If she is still hard assed about this situation, you may have to quit, but you have to have some time to be with your husband!

Good luck, I hope it works out.

 

[maciec]

RNMOM ... no I work in an Emergency Services dispatch center ... I am a police dispatcher.

I finally broke down and called one of the other girls that I work with (she's at work right now) and she made me feel better. We decided that we would meet with our boss and that she would do a lot of the talking. I have a tendency to take things very personal and I would just end up making things worse.

I wish that our meetings were tape recorded, but they aren't. I especially wish that this last meeting was.

We don't self schedule. I don't think it would be possible.

After speaking with my coworker I am glad to find out that I am not the only person that feels like our boss threatened me/us. We will all be watching very closely to see how she punishes us for going against her. We know that she feels threatened and it was very obvious in the meeting.

I am just so upset that she would think so little of me and have no common courtsey towards me knowing how much I have needed that special schedule.

Another one who has forgotten where she came from.

 

[RNMOM]

I wish you luck. You seem to have a good plan and I hope you can now sleep. Sometimes a little time is what is needed.

So often we bring other things into situations at work. That happens to us where I work all the time. Our manager SUCKS and you would think she would have quit a long time ago as much as she makes us feel responsible for her bad moods. We all just cover our hinies when we have to deal with her. Good luck.

 

[maciec]

Thanks for the support. I did finally go to sleep last night at about 3. YUCK! Today is going to be a rough one.

The staff is piggybacking on to the paramedics attempt to get collective bargaining with binding arbitration. The police just got it last year. I think we have a good shot. Once we get that then things are going to get a little better I think. But if I have to wait to have some time off with DH I only have 3 years until the queen bee retires. I can hold out.....I think.

Thanks again!