I need advice about my 2 year old DD

[urglewurgle]

i don't have kids.. and have no advice.. but i just wanted to pop in and offer you some (((Hugs)))... i hope things get easier for you hun!

 

[2sweetangels]

I really feel you. I have a DD6 and a DS2.5. My DS sounds like your DD. Kids this age are alot of work. I would look into a parenting group. I will admit I am. My DH works on the road a lot (train conductor). I tend to get overwhemled with the kids house and everything. I really don't have any friends here. So I am helping that this will be an outlet to help me cope.

You and I have some things in common, my DH works over the road (truck driver) I have no friends, my life is in this house, its really hard to find people to babysit my girls.

 

[2sweetangels]

i don't have kids.. and have no advice.. but i just wanted to pop in and offer you some (((Hugs)))... i hope things get easier for you hun!

thank you so much, just stopping in and reading my complaining about my kids means alot to me,

 

[Dan Murphy]

's Amy. Seems like a lifetime ago with our two (well, for their lives, it is a lifetime, LOL), but those impossible years do go by. Then they become some other impossible years, LOL. My best for you.

Any chance to get away this Saturday to visit at Gino's?

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1012970

 

[slo]

Hi Amy, I'm so sorry to hear all the stress you are going through . I don't know if you saw me post this on the Chicago Thread, but you may want to keep Katelyn in some overalls for awhile until she stops wanting take off her diaper. Overalls are not easy for children to take on and off and this may frustrate her into not wanting to take off the diaper anymore.

Someone I know has 2 boys that are really close in age like your girls. When these boys were younger (like your girls age) she was at her wits end too - one time the older boy hit the younger boy in the face with an Etch-n-Sketch But, now the boys are older and they are the best of friends and her life is so much easier. She looks back and wonders how she made it through those years. You will be like this too someday. In about 5-6 years you'll also look back and think, "how did I make it through?"

Hang in there, keep posting, and keep the faith that it will get better soon - we are always here for you!!!

 

[Christine]

I think to tell the OP she needs to ALWAYS be watching her dd is unrealistic, life happens and kids do things we don't wat them to do when we aren't looking- all in a split second. Let's not be hard on her- she's doing the best that any mother can do! To say that you never took your eyes off your kids is a bit much.



Jackie

No one said that "we never took our eyes off of our children." What *I* said was that if a 2-year-old has enough time alone they will get in trouble. If the child can climb up on a dresser and pull a humidifier off and pour the water all around that room, that is more than taking your eyes off them for a second.

The OP has already said that when she needs to get something done or a specific time, she puts the 2-year-old in her room alone. It is during this time that she climbs on the dresser or reaches into her diaper to do some "fingerpainting."

You cannot leave a 2-year old alone for more than 5 minutes and not expect trouble. That is their nature. Plus, I'm not being hard on the OP. I know she has it rough. But if you have to put your 2-year old in a room unsupervised for an extended period of time, then you're too busy. You just can't do it and not expect trouble.

 

[rt2dz]

I am so tired, my 2 year old DD has turned into a monster, sometimes I can't deal with her anymore. Today she got on top of her dresser somehow and pulled down the humidifier while it was plugged in, took of the top and dumped the water everywhere. Later I walked past her bedroom and smelled that she went poop, so I grabed a diaper and wipes and told her to come here so I change her diaper, well she had no diaper on and I looked and she had poop smeared all over her hands and legs, I looked in her room and found the poopy didaper and poop smeared all over her room and carpet, her room smells like a sewer now. This is not the first time she ever took off her diaper and played in her own poop. I am trying to potty train her to get her out of diapers. DH is over the road working, I have my 9 month old cousin thats cries for hours at a time without taking a break, my 5 month old DD is starting to cry just as much as my cousin, my 2 year old hits her sister climbs in her crib and sits on her, she pinches and bites her, the other day she put a sucker in her sisters hair and then tried to pull it out, had her sister screaming like she was being beat. I am so tired, I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice is welcomed and much appriciated.

If you think 2 is hard, wait until 3!! Really, though, your DD is perfectly normal.

I do understand what you are going through. My dh travels, just finished his MBA and I have DS4, DS2, and DS4 months. But it is your perspective and expectations, I think, that are getting the best of you--it is causing your overwhelmeness. Is that a word or bushism ?

Lets look at this point by point.

Baby proof a bit more. A humififier shouldn't be in reach. And the dresser should have the cabinet type locks on each of the drawers and the whole thing needs to be bolted to the wall. Also, get the door locks for the closet, do the blinds, etc.

Take heart. The ripping off of diapers is a sign of potty training readiness. Cleaning it up is going to be gross, but nothing that can be done. Do clean her up in the bathroom using toilet paper and flushable wipes. Let her see you put it in the toilet. Take the poop left (if any) in her diaper and put it in the toilet. A good thing to do also is offer our things to play with: playdough, gak, shaving cream/whip cream. If you're able set up an art center in the corner or the kitchen to keep her occupied while you're busy. Works wonders.

Don't leave your dd alone with the baby. But when she is around do include her in the care of the baby. Let her get the diapers. Throw away the diapers. Hand you burb rags. Pick out the days outfits. Push the button in the swing. Get toys. Read to your kids together. Hold the baby, with lots of help of course. Always tell her what a good big sister she is. Praise her when she does something nice. Often--negative attention is better than no attention, so get in lots of good attention and the negatives might lessen. Try and find some 1 on 1 time too. Perhaps a later bedtime than the baby. Even just 10 minutes would do wonders.

Hard candy (and gum, popcorn, and hot dogs) is a big NO NO for kids 3 and under. Don't give her a sucker again.

Find a support system. MOM clubs are good. Get into a playgroup--they aren't just for the kids. Join start a Mom's Night out group that meets once a month. MOPS is also great . Does your community have a Mother's Club? What services/groups does your church offer? See what is offered at your library--story time would be nice. Just go and play at fastfood restaurants with play areas. Keep up with internet chat groups. Another great book is Boundries with Preschoolers by Drs Cloud & Townsend.

Crying infants do wonderfully outside. Take walks. Go to the park. Just play outside. When its warm enough, break out the water. Inlude her in other chores too. She can learn a lot by matching socks in the laundry. Sorting different types of clothes.

PM me if you want more ideas or to commiserate.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I agree that 2yo's cannot be left alone long or there is trouble. I got my first laptop computer when my youngest was about that age because I couldn't even dart into our main floor study to check my e-mail without my son writing on the walls, climbing onto the kitchen counters, etc. He was a real terror, so I can most certainly understand how frustrating it can be.

There were plenty of days that I was in tears because honestly it just wasn't fun sometimes. Sometimes--it wasn't fun a lot of the time. Your DD will probably come around soon, but with my son it's really taken until he was 5yo to start to improve and 6yo for me to really see the light and start to really enjoy him more. That sounds pretty bad, but I'm just being honest--it was a trying 4-5 years for sure (he was the easiest of my babies, so the first year was a joy).

And I was a SAHM and my DH a WAHD, so I did get my breaks or I'm sure that I would have been seeking outside help. Seriously. And my other kids were old enough to help out, which really made a difference.

So please don't hesitate to do what it takes to get outside help, like Parent's Anonymous, a local church group, counselor, etc. Also, I think the Mom's Club would be a great way to meet other moms, which would help so you don't feel so isolated.

 

[tiggersmom2]

After reading this thread I now see how outstandingly lucky I am!
My two sons found poop to be as nasty and yucky as myself and would have played with ANYTHING rather than that. Man, I am counting my blessings!!

To the OP, I am so sorry.....I would be really upset if I had poop smeared in my carpet and walls.

 

[kristen821]

My dd3.5 was and still is at times a major handfull so I know what you are going through. Do you happen to have a Wiggles Dvd? I swear those guys are a God send! I know the last thing you want are extra kids in the house, but are there any kids say about 4 or 5 in your area that you can invite over to play? They would be young enough to play with her, but old enough to tattle when she is into something.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

IT WILL GET BETTER - I PROMISE! Been there done that with kids close in age. I had three kids in less than three years - twice! One dd did that with the diaper. It only lasted for a few weeks. I started putting her in one piece (not footy) outfits backwards (even the onesies) and putting the diaper on backwards. It helped somewhat and then she just stopped doing it. But I know what it feels like to open the door and see that. I used to just want to cry.

It is not possible to watch your kids 24 hours a day straight. Do the best you can and try to keep the little one out of her sisters reach. I know others think its too much with your cousin's baby but I understand wanting to have a few dollars of your own to buy things other than necessities.

Just remember you can always come to the DIS when it gets too overwhelming. My oldest is almost 29 now and I can still remember when the older ones went to bed and I just sat down to breathe in peace and be thankful that I made it through another day. Good luck!

 

[ntburns22]

You and I have some things in common, my DH works over the road (truck driver) I have no friends, my life is in this house, its really hard to find people to babysit my girls.

My life is in my house too. My DD is in cheerleading but all the other mom's were already friends so I am like the odd man out. Drop me a PM sometime, I think we could help each other out.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

2 sweetangels,

All I can say is hang in there! I saw one of your other posts on another thread and you have alot going on right now. Stay strong!

 

[Daisy Duck 5]

I think you should try to get your children to nap at the same time. That way you will have a break in the afternoon to watch tv or take a nap.
Also check out your local library for some childrens drop in classes. It is a great way to meet other parents and your daughters can play with children her own age. Plus it is free.
I dont have children of my own but I am taking child & youth studies at university.
I worked with 2 year olds at a daycare in the fall. The most important thing that allowed things to flow smoothly was a daily routine. The children knew what to expect each day. This cuts down on the crying. Super nanny always seems to create a routine for the families as well.
Here is the routine from the daycare. If you want to follow it go ahead if not just ignore it. I added in some ideas for the evening that I got from babysitting.
before 9 free play 9 - snack 9:30 - circle time (you could read stories and sing to all three children) 10:15 - go outside (you could take them for a walk and let the babies sleep in a stroller) 11:15 - craft time (you could let your daughter color) 11:45 - lunch 12:30 - 2:00 - nap 2:00 - free play
2:30 snack 3 - circle time (reading or tv) 3:30 go outside 4:00 free play 5:00 supper then have free play until a little before bedtime.
Bath both girls together then let the 2 year old watch tv and have a snack while you put the younger one to bed. Then sit with the 2 year old to finish watching her show and put her to bed with a story. Try a routine it will cut down on the crying with the babies.