I need a hug .... and maybe some advice

[mickeyfan2]

In January of 2007, the State of PA (my employer) is giving us a raise that will equal half of the now child support. That, along with no longer having to pay 40% of my son's bills will allow me to keep the house.

I just don't see where he thinks this is about me -- it's about supporting his son. I never asked for, nor received alimony or any support for DS#1 who was over 18 at the time of the divorce.

I'm just so scared that he can do this.

Edie

Actually you are lucky you are getting support from him for an over 18 year old at all. PA ends support at 18 or high school graduation. Your divorce decree extends your support past that date. PA also cannot force him to pay for the kids college. You ex could go back to court and if he can show a hardship might win.

ETA: He could also reduce it in January when you get your pay raise. The income ratios will be far different then and he could get it reduced even more.

BTW I know a about PA divorces, since I spent many hours helping my GF with her PA divorce. I went to lawyer meeting, helped her fill out paperwork and read read read. Her son graduated high school on 6/9 at 18 years of age and PA told the employer to stop taking out support payments on 6/9. This is as far as is goes from the states perspective.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think your questions are best posed to an attorney...I would probably start with the one who did my divorce, and if he/she was not helpful, then find one that specializes in child support issues.

I know nothing about the rules, but it sounds as if your ex-H has some ability to get the amount reduced through the legal system, if he can prove a significant income change and so on. So you should probably know your rights and options, in the event that he is able to prove financial hardship and get the amount changed.

I would also involve my son in this discussion. He is 18, and is capable of contributing some to his college education...I did at 18...not a huge amount of money, but some. There are also student loan programs and so forth that you can research, which will pay the college costs and then he would be responsible for paying them back after graduation.

I would also agree with the poster who said that if you are so tight financially that this could mean losing your home, you need to maybe rethink your finances a bit. I know that you say you are getting a raise in a few months that will offset the cost of the loss of child support that will happen at about the same time, but what if the raise doesn't happen for some reason? Nothing is guaranteed.

Good luck to you.

 

[Sandy V.]

Just adding that if your ex-husband VOLUNTARILY changed jobs or positions at work so that his salary was lowered, most courts won't change the current child support obligation. If he's feeling a financial pinch, that's HIS choice, not yours or your son's.

It seems to me that if your ex-husband wants to lower his child support payments, then HE should be the one to go back to court to do it. I would tell him "No" and make him go through the proper channels to make the attempt. Don't budge on this!!

And be financially prepared for your ex to stop making payments altogether this fall - sometimes folks think they're above the law and can just make up their own child support rules because it's "fair" to them.

Best of luck.