'I love you, but I am not IN love with you!' - update Nov 18th post #92

[tinks_1989]

Claire

I am so sorry to hear about your loss I lost my Gran 6 weeks ago and it was horrible I really feel for you.

About DH I am sorry to hear this could you not start a fresh and start dating again and getting to know each other again finding stuff out may be you didnt know about each other

I really hope you are ok and have some good friends to help you through this

x x x

 

[natalielongstaff]

so sorry Claire

 

[Tinks1984]

I'm so sorry to hear about your separation Claire Let's hope that within the 6 months your DH comes to his senses.

 

[jjk]

sorry to hear that Claire

 

[Pinky166]

So sorry to hear that Claire.

 

[Claire L]

Thank you for all the support. I am happy with this as at least no rash decisions are being made at the moment

Claire

 

[Ware Bears]

for you, Claire.

 

[jen_uk]

Sorry to hear this My advice is to take him at his word and get on with your life, I know that probably seems inpossible now but in December when you go away if you can be this positive, glowing, woman who is having a fabulous time being single it might bring him to his senses and make him realise what he is missing!!

 

[CustardTart]

Oh Claire, I'm so sorry... Glad you feel OK with the decision and FWIW I agree, it's really important not to rush into anything life-changing at this point... We're here for you, hun...

 

[Chilly]

 

[TotallyAngelic]

Sending

 

[wilma-bride]

Claire, it sounds very much to me as though your DH is trying to keep his options open which, depending how you look at it, could be a good thing. Like you say, at least he's not making a final decision. However, please be careful that this doesn't mean you end up living your life in the hope that he will return. Jen gives some good advice - as hard as it may be, try to get on with your own life and regain some of your independence. I think you need to get some control back as it certainly sounds (reading between the lines) as though he very much has control of the situation right now and, until you regain some of that control, you will always be on the back foot.

If it's any consolation, I do understand exactly what you're going through

 

[Minniespal]

Claire - I agree with Joh.

Only you can make the decisions which are right for you. I'm sure once the initial pain and anger starts to go you will be able to make the choices which are right for you.

I've resisted bringing up the subject of counselling, however, it's nice to know what your options are and sometimes it does help to speak with someone who is just there to listen.

 

[Claire L]

Claire - I agree with Joh.

Only you can make the decisions which are right for you. I'm sure once the initial pain and anger starts to go you will be able to make the choices which are right for you.

I've resisted bringing up the subject of counselling, however, it's nice to know what your options are and sometimes it does help to speak with someone who is just there to listen.

I suggested counselling back in August but he didn't want it! Although there is no ange between us and we still love each other he agrees he has the mental block ie seeing me as just a mate/sister! So if he can start to get over that, then maybe we can build a relationship up again, who knows!?

In the meantime I am living my own life have been out shopping with a female friend today and am going to London for a Halloween party with a male friend on Oct 31st

At the moment I just intend on having fun and seeing where life takes me

Claire

 

[natalielongstaff]

At the moment I just intend on having fun and seeing where life takes me

Claire

thats sounds like the right thing to do hun xx

 

[saratogagirl]

I am sorry to hear this Claire, you have a lovely positive attitude and it sounds like you have some fun things planned x

 

[The Fetherstons]

x

 

[amystevekai&bump]

I agree with what others have said - concentrate on YOU for the next few months - who knows you might decide that YOU ae better off and won't need to hang around waiting for him to make up his mind!!

Sending you lots of - you are showing incredible strength and courage and I wish you all the luck in the world for whatever happiness YOU choose for your future!!

 

[Mrs Dazzle]

 

[kristieuk]

Just catching up on this - really sorry about everything, but with lots of hugs and best wishes that you get the happiest outcome for you. I know it must be very difficult, but it's great to see you are looking at everything positively. Good luck x