I knew this would happen, just not this soon.

[RitaZ.]

DS started at a new school last week (7th grade) and wanted to walk home from school. I wasn't too crazy about the idea, but you know, they've got to grow up some time. He really likes to walk by himself. I have heard about other kids getting picked on, pushed off their bikes and beaten up on their way home, so I hoped that wouldn't happen to DS. The school is only two blocks away from our home, so it doesn't take him long to get home. In the a.m., I drive him about a block away from school. I do this because the neighborhood is deserted at that time, I figured in the afternoon it would be safer.

Today, as he was walking home, one kid was walking behind him and asked him where he lived. DS ignored him and didn't answer, he could tell the kid was looking for trouble. The kid told DS that he could beat up DS if he wanted to, then went on to call DS some REALLY nasty names.

I'm not sure about this walking home thing anymore, but DS still wants to walk home. I have noticed that two of the kids in the neighborhood that used to walk to school last year are now being driven by their parents. There are no other kids on our block for him to walk with, he is solo. With all the bad things that happen these days, I worry that some kid may have a weapon or something and hurt him. We'll have to talk about this when DH gets home.

Why didn't my mom warm about this part of having/raising kids?

What to do?

 

[grinningghost]

So sorry he's already having problems. Bullies are such jerks.

 

[sweet angel]

You could try talking to the school, but I wouldn't be too hopeful. Our schools supposedly have a zero tolerance for violence, bullying, etc.

My son (going into 8th grade) had problems on the bus stop and walking home from the bus stop in 5th and 7th. The older kids would start trouble. In 5th grade, the principal got very involved, even going as far as calling all parents in to school, and going to the bus stop herself. Last year, the principal didn't really do anything but talk to the kids.

You could create more problems for your son if you are "caught" driving him to school. It may cause the rotten kids to start more trouble with him.

I'd like to say that he's got to stand up for himself and put the bully in his place, and maybe take some lumps in the process (the male way of thinking), but I haven't quite been able to swallow that advice from my BF yet.

Good luck.

 

[Microcell]

I am going to put my son in self defense classes, like Tae Kwon Doe. My DH insisted on it with him and I plan on it for my daughter soon too! They teach about defense with weapons involved too.

 

[DukeStreetKing]

If you can afford it, enroll him in a self defense program. He doesn't seem to be afraid to walk home, but the knowledge that he knows how to protect himself would give him that much more confidence. It's also an excellent way to stay in shape.

 

[RitaZ.]

We have suggested TKD to DS, but he hasn't been interested, maybe I should bring it up again and tell him how it's going to help him in these situations.

The thing that worries me is that some of these bullies aren't just out to intimidate, but to really hurt and sometimes even kill.

 

[Lanshark]

For safety reasons I would drive him.

 

[janette]

I wouldn't let him walk, is there someone you can car pool with?

Maybe just drive along or wait where you can see him. My 7th grade DD has a friend that goes to the bus stop with her or I'd probably drive her.

 

[bsnyder]

I think a self-defense course would be a great idea, and maybe in this context, he'd be more interested now.

One of the hardest jobs, of a parent, is to weigh the risks and rewards of letting our children experience new things, and become competent and self-reliant. While no parent should knowingly put their child in a dangerous situation, at the same time, we can't shield them forever from every possible danger, otherwise they will never grow into capable adults able to exercise good, sound judgement.


I know it's hard...I just took my younger son to college last week - 2500 miles away from home in California. He's smack dab in the middle of urban Los Angeles, and my mind has reeled at times, thinking of all the bad things that could happen to him.

Saying goodbye to him was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, as a mom.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Well, can he ride his bike? It is much harder to bully somebody on a bicycle.

I'm sorry he is going through this. Middle school boys aren't the nicest of creatures to begin with and so many school are just getting out of control.

 

[RitaZ.]

Bet, so true. That's why these decisions are hard to make.

We are going to talk about this tonight and come to a decision.

 

[bsnyder]

And Rita, remember, whatever you decide tonight, about this, it's not an irrevocable decision.

It could be that you're not ready for him to do this, but will be in a few months or so. Or that if he has problems, you'll have to change your mind.

 

[jfulcer]

Two blocks? You are driving him one block - then letting him walk that last block in the morning?

I guess I'm not sure why you don't just walk with him that one block, or drive him both blocks.

With respect to the bully, you cannot be there to protect him all the time. If you drive him home, the bully will just get him in school and call him a sissy for crying to his mommy and getting himself a ride(sorry, that's what he is going to say). If you prepare him to deal with the situation he can deal with it not only in school, but on the way home from school.

Taekwondo is a nice idea. Trying to ignore the bully would work in some situations (worked for me when I was growing up). You can't assume that every kid is out to kill your son either. Most are just in it for the power. Teach your son to take away that power and he will be well served through his life.

You can complain to the school but they may only just 'talk' with the bully and that may make it worse. Talk to a teacher or a counselor or prinicipal to find out what can be done and see if they have any suggestions for you. They can at least tell you if this particular child has a history...

 

[Deb in IA]

Originally posted by RitaZ.

The thing that worries me is that some of these bullies aren't just out to intimidate, but to really hurt and sometimes even kill.

If you really think this bully is capable of killing, then in my opinion, there is no choice, no discussion.

You drive him to school and back from school.

 

[bumcat]

I'm wondering since your son told you what happen if that isn't his way of saying help without really saying it?

 

[RitaZ.]

Originally posted by bumcat
I'm wondering since your son told you what happen if that isn't his way of saying help without really saying it?

My son is the type that tells us what he really feels and when something concerns him, no beating around the bush.

Jfulcer~ The answers to your questions are in my original post.

I don't know this kid and neither does DS. He is just another kid that walks home, he isn't in any of DS's classes.

The thing that worries me is that some of these bullies aren't just out to intimidate, but to really hurt and sometimes even kill.

I'm not saying that this particular kid is capable of killing DS or anything like that. It's just a general concern.

Thanks all for your opinions. We are about to sit down with DS to talk about what we are going to do.

 

[WeluvDisney2]

There is safety in numbers. Is there a group of kids that could all walk to school together? If a bully starts picking on one of them, the rest of the kids would be there to stand up for him.

 

[Jasminesmommy]

Hire a big muscle man to pick on the bullies.I bet they will stop.