I just found out youngest DS pulled over by police last night! Update #64

[castleview]

He did something wrong, he got caught for it, and he's dealing with the consequences

What consequences? He was able to use the fact of where I worked to get off. Under my roof and still in HS...I have a right to know!

TC

Absolutely! As my dad said when I got my license, "the police might not take away your license for speeding or being stupid, but I will"

 

[Darsa]

Note: I only read the first page

I cannot imagine letting my child "get away with" something like that, and just let it go. Honestly, if a teenager gets away with something they did wrong without any repercussions, what's to stop them from keeping right on doing it??? I mean, obviously it's not a big deal, right?

 

[Tuffcookie]

So, exactly what did you do to "get him out of it?" Are you saying your son got preferential treatment by the officer because you, his mother, work for the police department? Did the officer tell your son he was letting your son off with a warning because the officer knows you? Or, did the officer tell YOU he let your son off with a warning because he knows you?

For Pete's sake, (no pun intended, Pete Werner ) lighten up, will ya?

TC

 

[manning]

I don't have a problem sharing what happens!

DS has been driving for a little over 1 year now. He is 18 but still in HS (birthday was in Dec). He has a convertible Camaro, which his dad bought. I made sure his dad signed for his license and the car is in his dad's name. I made sure of that so his dad would be responsible for the insurance!

Maybe a call to the ex is in order. He will be none too happy if the insurance goes up. Lord knows it's high enough for an 18 year old male in that kind of car!

TC

I hope his dad realizes that if son got into a serious accident and the other party sues he will be sued also because his name is on the title.

 

[manning]

Why in the world would you get involved in this at all? If your son didn't get a ticket then it's over, right? No points on insurance or any ticket to be paid? Why would you put yourself in the middle of this at all - especially with an 18 year old?

It happened, he handled it fine, and life goes on. Stay out of it, mom.

Maybe because she is a mother who cares ???

 

[manning]

What difference does that make? If there weren't any charges and he didn't get a ticket or have to pay a fine then it should be his business and his MOM should not be getting in the middle of it, no matter where she works.

Let's put this into perspective......her son, her choice.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Why in the world would you get involved in this at all? If your son didn't get a ticket then it's over, right? No points on insurance or any ticket to be paid? Why would you put yourself in the middle of this at all - especially with an 18 year old?

It happened, he handled it fine, and life goes on. Stay out of it, mom.

'
I tend to agree with Liz. As long as no one was hurt, no tickets were issued that would increase insurance rates I don't see it being a big problem. Cops stop young people all time here for various reasons.

 

[manning]

It's nice to know that having connections gets you out of tickets. I mean, I guess I always knew that, but it's interesting to see so many people confirm it as an employment benefit.

My aunt was a magistrate and part of her job was hearing traffic cases.

Her son got pulled over and the cop was going to give him a pass. He told him no, just give him the ticket as mom would find out and he would be in bigger trouble. She was none as the hanging magistrate.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Let's put this into perspective......her son, her choice.

True. Her family, her choice. I'm not saying anything against the OP, just saying it wouldn't bother me so much.

 

[allison443]

He did something wrong, he got caught for it, and he's dealing with the consequences

What consequences? He was able to use the fact of where I worked to get off. Under my roof and still in HS...I have a right to know!

TC

That's what I would be worried about...he might think he has a kind of "free pass" since he got off with a warning, kwim? I'm sure he knows kids at school who have gotten tickets, and he got to walk away with just a warning. I wouldn't want him thinking he's going to get off with a warning again, so he doesn't have to be as cautious..

 

[Kathi OD]

What difference does that make? If there weren't any charges and he didn't get a ticket or have to pay a fine then it should be his business and his MOM should not be getting in the middle of it, no matter where she works.

Maybe because he's still in high school. Maybe because, regardless of what many people think, that the maturity fairy doesn't wave her magic wand over a person at the stroke of midnight on their 18th birthday, giving them all the wisdom and knowledge that they need. Regardless of the fact that the law may say an 18yo is adult, most 18yos don't have the experience or maturity to handle adult situations, including those as mundane as traffic citations.

 

[Kathi OD]

I'm not argumentative today - at least not any more so than usual. I just think an 18 year old is old enough to handle this and I don't think his mom should be getting involved. He did something wrong, he got caught for it, and he's dealing with the consequences. Let him do it on his own.

Kind of the point...the only consequence was mom finding out. If he thinks he got away with something this time, he might try it again.

For me, I don't like the reason he got pulled over...aggressive driving because he didn't like how someone else was driving. You read all the time about how these kinds of incidents blow up into something much more serious. I think it could be a good time to reinforce some common sense "rules of the road" with DS. 18 yos are infamous for thinking nothing will ever happen to them.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

I work at a school, things I find out at school, stay at school. I know all kinds of tidbits about my kids, if I acted on them, my kids would be grounded for life.

My opinion is to let it go mom.

 

[allison443]

Kind of the point...the only consequence was mom finding out. If he thinks he got away with something this time, he might try it again.

For me, I don't like the reason he got pulled over...aggressive driving because he didn't like how someone else was driving. You read all the time about how these kinds of incidents blow up into something much more serious. I think it could be a good time to reinforce some common sense "rules of the road" with DS. 18 yos are infamous for thinking nothing will ever happen to them.

Also, maybe a discussion about how to deal with the police when you get pulled over in a town where your mom doesn't work for the police department.

 

[Kathi OD]

Also, maybe a discussion about how to deal with the police when you get pulled over in a town where your mom doesn't work for the police department.

Touche!

 

[AKL_Megs]

When I was 17, I got pulled over by the police for speeding. BIG TIME speeding. I was so scared, because I knew I would be in SO much trouble when my parents found out about the ticket.

The officer let me go with a warning.

I had never been so scared in my life. And from then on, I was EVER so cautious when driving.

A few years later, I actually got to thank the officer for not giving me a ticket that night when my DH became an officer. He told me that he let me off because he knew what it was like to have parents like mine!

Have fun with your son!

 

[livie1205]

What difference does that make? If there weren't any charges and he didn't get a ticket or have to pay a fine then it should be his business and his MOM should not be getting in the middle of it, no matter where she works.

he is still in HS and under her roof so she has every right to have a big chat with him about it.

 

[Thumper_Man]

Why in the world would you get involved in this at all? If your son didn't get a ticket then it's over, right? No points on insurance or any ticket to be paid? Why would you put yourself in the middle of this at all - especially with an 18 year old?

It happened, he handled it fine, and life goes on. Stay out of it, mom.

Next time it may be worse. He was tailgating someone. What if the person in front of him made a sudden stop and he rear-ended him/her? What if the person had kids in the car? Now it becomes so much more than a ticket or a warning. I understand he's 18 and is an adult, but what he was doing is childish. He still lives under mom's roof, so she has every right.

Go Mom!

 

[Cindy's Mom]

Next time it may be worse. He was tailgating someone. What if the person in front of him made a sudden stop and he rear-ended him/her? What if the person had kids in the car? Now it becomes so much more than a ticket or a warning. I understand he's 18 and is an adult, but what he was doing is childish. He still lives under mom's roof, so she has every right.

Go Mom!

But these "what if's" didn't happen. I hate "what ifs" It didn't happen, so why make up a different ending to something that has transpired

Anything can lead to a "what if"

 

[DVCLiz]

Maybe because she is a mother who cares ???

I'm a mother who cares, too. But 18 year olds need to learn how to handle some things on their own - even if they are bad things that happen as a result of poor choices. Making this about the mother/son dynamic doesn't help her son make any decisions on his own - it just puts him right back into the "naughty child" position. Back off and let him learn what it's like to deal with something like this on his own.

And yeah, it's not OK to let an 18 year old deal with a warning but it's fine to let him know that where your mom works can keep him out of trouble with the police? OK, got it...