I have to send my daughter to school

[MAC3]

today and she is all alone.

She had words with a girl yesterday and they all banded together to exclude her. Even her BF, that I have asked to take to WDW with us. Now I have to worry all day.

Kids are so mean. I find it amazing that we go through this ourselves and then go through it again with our children.

Maybe today will be better,
Lisa

 

[Lars624]

It's amazing how much we hurt for our kids isn't it....we want nothing more than to protect them from ever being hurt but we really have no control over it at all.
I hope that things get better for your DD very soon....how old is she?

 

[Lorix2]

I have been in your situation too. I really feel for our kids, as they get older it seems to get worse, more serious issues to quabble about, especially when boys are in the picture.

Hope things go better for her today. You know these things eventually blow over, though it'll feel like a lifetime for both of you.

((HUGS)) to you both.

 

[Dan Murphy]

It is so tough at times, kids growing up. Been there too with ours, and ourselves when we were kids too. Hard to accept it as part of the learning process, how to deal with adversity, but it will pass, and be fine again. But....but, it is so tough at the time, we hurt for them, with them. My best, Lisa.

 

[Alex]

Her BF?? And they were close enough that you were considering taking him to Disney?
That is so harsh.....

 

[dtuleya]

I agree with Alex. Maybe you need to save yourself some $$ and uninvite him.

 

[cascadecupcake]

My eyes filled with tears reading your post, MAC3. I've certainly been in you shoes. I know it's hard now, but this will probably pass quickly. Just keep reassuring your daughter that she is a wonderful person and those other kids sure are missing out!

And I know exactly what you mean about kids being mean and wondering why that is. I often ask why generation after generation of parents say "kids are mean." WHY are kids mean? I teach my kids NOT to be mean. I just wish other parents would do the same. Sadly, too many parents don't even have a clue how their children behave.

Hang in there. I have a feeling your day will be worse than hers. Some of the girls will probably be over it already when your daughter gets to school. But you'll worry all day. That's just what we mothers do.

Any chance you could meet her for lunch? Maybe even stay in your car in the parking lot with McDonalds?

 

[meeshi]

I feel for you, we've been through that here. It seems girls are so catty to each other, it's very sad. Sending pixie dust her way, hoping she has a good day at school and your way that you don't worry too much. I know it's tough, but knowing how these things usually go, they'll probably be friends again before the end of the day.

 

[MAC3]

Thanks everyone! Somehow I know "This too shall pass" but it is just so hard to explain that to a hurt child.

Laura- She is 11 and in the 6th grade.

Alex & dtuleya- I'm sorry, I meant "best friend" they have been best friends since kindergarten.

cascadecupcake- I know what you mean! I repeatedly tell my daughter that everyone is human and has breakable feelings to be polite and nice to everyone. I believe to the most part she is. Although, I'm not with her in school but have been told she is always respectful & nice to all. But no angel I know.

Dan- I always tell Ashleigh That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I know she will most likely be fine today and I will worry all day.

Aah the joys of parenting.... For some reason I'm not looking forward to the teenage yrs. meeshi- I agree girls are catty! I'm trying to teach her this early.

Thanks for the well wishes everyone. You are truly a support group! Have a great day everyone,
Lisa

 

[mamamia]

MAC3, the same thing happened with my DD and her best friend. They were best friends since the beginning of 1st grade and were inseparable. When I was planning our trip to Disney for Sept. 03, I invited this girl to come with us. We invited her in June. She was really excited, her mom said yes. She even got her airline ticket (we agreed that she would buy her airline ticket and park ticket and I was going to take care of the rest). Well the summer begins this girl started acting strange and mean, leaving my dd out of outings and stuff (too many things happened for me to mention here); she was including this other girl that was friends with both of them in everything that she would have done with my dd. The whole summer went by and they had only gotten together once and it was for about 30 minutes. Now our trip is getting nearer and I called her mom to see if she wanted all the details (like the places we were going to eat, which parks each day, etc.) and she kept blowing me off. Finally 5 days before the trip, the mother calls me and says "oh, Victoria has decided she doesn't want to go with you because she wants to go to open house night at the catholic high school"(which was scheduled for 1 of the days we would be gone). That was the beginning of the end. Now my dd is happy. She has met other kids who are better friends than this girl had been. It took a while for my dd to get over it. Its a really hard lesson to learn. I hope everything works out.

 

[browneyes]

Maybe it's time she made some new friends. I hope today's not too rough on her.

 

[KarenC]

Ages 10 and 11 were pretty hard for my DD. I think part of the meaness is related to the incredible changes girls are starting to go through at that time. Girls seem to mature physically at an earlier age, but emotionally they are still young. They are short tempered with each other and overly sensitive. A bad combination, for sure.

Mostly you have to give them time to work it out, but there was one time that I took matters into my own hands...

At 10, my DD had a "best" friend who was manipulative and domineering. They had another friend who moved away. That friend came back to visit for the school carnival, a huge event where it is wall-to-wall people, much like the Magic Kingdom was the week after Christmas Those two decided it would be funny to ditch my DD. She found me in the gym, put her arms around my waist and buried her head in my chest, tears pouring down her face, because she'd been left alone. I got that feeling from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes that mothers get when their kids are hurt.

Eventually I saw the two little brats and I confronted them. I was stern and my message was simple. You know you should treat others the way you would want to be treated. Would you like to have been left alone at the carnival? Then why would you do that to Elsie? DD was upset with me for saying something and it put the nail in the coffin of their friendship. However, being associated with that girl had limited her social interactions with other students (she was new to the school district). Once she wasn't friends with the brat, she made some wonderful friendships that she still has today.

While the teenage years had their challenges, as far as the friendship thing went, that seemed to get easier the older she got. There's still drama, plenty over the Winter Break, but she seems to be able to understand what's going on and ignore it, or deal with it, depending upon the situation.

Good luck to your daughter; here's hoping for a better day!

 

[MAC3]

Originally posted by mamamia
MAC3, the same thing happened with my DD and her best friend.

It's so hard sometimes isn't it? I'm sort of fortunate in this aspect. I did not tell DD that I asked for her best friend to come with us. Only her father & I and the girls parents. They are supposed to let me know by tomorrow.

We shall see.

 

[Lars624]

bumping up hoping for a after school update...............I hope things went well for her!

 

[cascadecupcake]

Yes, Yes! MAC3, an update please! I raced to the computer when I got home because I kept thinking about your daughter all day as I was running errands. I hope school went well for her. I can see by this thread that a lot of pixie dust was sent her way!

 

[MAC3]

Oh Wow! You guys are awesome. I called the minute I knew she was at her after school destination. She said she had a better day today but she asked her best friend whay she hates her and she shrugged her shoulders.

I guess I won't be calling her parents asking if I can take her to Florida with us. Anyway, this week in school they have to sit during lunch alphabetically (which will help) but who knows what will happen next week, we shall see.

I'm sure she will find a way to live with it.

Thanks for your concerns. I too am concerned when hearing of a problem that a child must face. Here's hoping all our children can overcome their obstacles!

Lisa

 

[Otto's Doll]

Hugs to your girl, MAC3. My dd and her bf (both 8) were inseparable since Kindergarten, and then this year her bf started buddying up with another girl (they are all in the same class) and now has completely forgotten my DD. It hurt me alot when this happened, cause her bf had been here and my dd was at her house all the time. I guess kids just find other friends, and there is nothing we can do about it, but I know how hurt Kari has been, and that she still misses her bf all the time. (I even saw her bf today, and said "gee, you haven't been over in a while", she just kind of mumbled something and then turned to her pal and said something about when they get together after school.... )
can you tell I still hurt for my dd? Oh, well. There are other kids she is friends with.

 

[MAC3]

(((HUGS))) to you & Kari.

I think my Ashleigh is going to have the same fate. Ashleigh's BF has taken up with another girl in the same class. I guess things change. Same situation here the bf always was at our house (all summer long and every New Years Eve) . Long weekends ect....

Ashleigh is an only, Thank God she has cousins.

Thanks for the well wishes!
Lisa