I have not read the posts, however

[LaraK]

Draw a face on the rock and tell her you heard that was THE in gift when she was a kid.

 

[Lintasare]

Draw a face on the rock and tell her you heard that was THE in gift when she was a kid.

Back in the Stone Age?

 

[legalsea]

Since I know that many are clamoring for a ‘recap’ of this and other threads and so be ‘caught up’ (sorta like the rapture), I have decided to oblige.

It all began when Agnes went to Wal-Mart (Agnes being ‘one of those kind’) in order to prepare for Black Friday by taking the items she will be wanting (52 inch tvs, dvds, etc) and hiding them back in the fabric section, under the calico fabric. I should point out that Agnes was perfectly justified in parking in the handicapped parking spot, even though she had walked to Wal-Mart; she was simply in the habit of leaving her car in that space ‘just in case.

Now, Agnes was accompanied by her four-year-old son, Snowflake. Snowflake (real name, Britanannie Sludge, since his parents like unusual names and figured this would ‘set him apart from the other cow-children with common names’). Since Snowflake had a slight allergy to peanuts (exposure caused him to miss his favorite television shows; why, Agnes could never really explain), Agnes had already warned Wal-Mart officials to remove all products containing peanuts, as well any product having the word ‘pea’ in it, from the store.

Now, as Agnes was busy hiding her future purchases Snowflake was left to his own devices, which included running up and down the aisles and screaming. Seeing an elderly woman holding a stuffed Cougar, Snowflake walked up to her and said “Cougar fat!”

Now, this elderly woman had just recently been denied a seat on an airplane due to the corpulence of her stuffed cougar. The airline had demanded that she now only pay for her seat (she had said the cougar would pay for it), but that she also pay for two seats for the really, really big stuffed cougar. The elderly woman had, of course, refused, and notified the press that she was denied permission by the evil airline to fly to the funeral of a person she did not know, but wished she did (I should point out that every person who has every been denied a seat on an airplane due to their weight were going to a funeral).

The elderly woman, hearing Snowflake make a derogatory remark concerning her prized cougar, instantly began to ‘vent’ (venting means to huff and puff and spout a lot of hot air, hoping that you do not burst into flames, or, worse, have others set you on fire). She then said to Snowflake: “In my day, we used switches on children whom spoke to their elders!”

This, of course, caused Snowflake to burst into tears. This caused a woman close by to start to vent herself, since she was out shopping for food to satisfy each of her relatives whom were coming to her house for Thanksgiving, with each having either a different allergy or a philosophy on life. I should point out that this woman was already stressed-out because she had gaily decked out her entire house in Christmas decorations, only to be told by her neighbors, via Facebook, that it is ‘simply not done’, not only because it was not yet Thanksgiving, but she was Jewish.

Now, Snowflake began to literally rip the store apart in his grief. Some adults joined in because they thought the elderly woman had been mean to Snowflake, while others stood by and discussed how they had also been exposes to switches in their day, and that Jon and Kate should have simply switched those children on camera and so be done with it.

Now, yours truly, Legalsea, had been outside of Wal-Mart dressed up as Santa Clause himself in costume as a Ninja Warrior (it is really a neat costume; I shall try to post a picture of it soon). I was collecting money by informing people that for $2.00 each, they would not have to have the H1N1 shot (in return for the money I would give them a certificate saying ‘I am H1N1 Free!’). Hearing the commotion inside I quickly ditched my copy of the Adam Lambert CD (which I was using to scare people into giving me money), and immediately began a new thread on Disney Message Community Board entitled “I have not read the posts, however…”.

Having done that, I raced inside, grabbed a Blu-ray player and stuffed it next to Agnes’ stuff inside the calico fabric, and then tried to calm everyone down by explaining that I was a middle child and so could explain everything. I then began to ‘vent’ myself when people not only ignored me, but set my Santa Clause/Ninja Warrior costume aflame.

Anyway, now you are caught up.

As Tiny Tim would say, “A Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a pleasant Goodnight!”

bump

 

[OK!]

Well, my Thanksgiving wasn't ruined but it was made more, um, interesting by a wildly snuffling dog and an extremely talkative child who would NOT shut up the entire night. If we had had a tranq gun, it would have been quite tempting (for both). I was totally all Team Codger (but silently, in my own head) and said child was verbally poking my purse for about 5 straight hours. Gah. And the dog was the noisiest thing I have ever seen in my life. It was hard to keep a straight face during the blessing because the dog was making noises under the table that I haven't heard since the last time I listened to an ex-boyfriend sleep off 6 hours' worth of beer.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Well, my Thanksgiving wasn't ruined but it was made more, um, interesting by a wildly snuffling dog and an extremely talkative child who would NOT shut up the entire night. If we had had a tranq gun, it would have been quite tempting (for both). I was totally all Team Codger (but silently, in my own head) and said child was verbally poking my purse for about 5 straight hours. Gah. And the dog was the noisiest thing I have ever seen in my life. It was hard to keep a straight face during the blessing because the dog was making noises under the table that I haven't heard since the last time I listened to an ex-boyfriend sleep off 6 hours' worth of beer.

...don't worry clark, he yaked it up. Well eddie, you shouldn't feed the dog at the table. No clark, he probably got it out of the garbage.

 

[Pakey]

I find nothing offensive about an adult stating he wanted to go through the buffet line before the children touched the silverware and breathed on the food. I raised 3 boys and at no time did I want to have to use silverware that they had already touched, even after supervising their hand washing.

 

[focusondisney]

...don't worry clark, he yaked it up. Well eddie, you shouldn't feed the dog at the table. No clark, he probably got it out of the garbage.

LOL! I was thinking the same thing!!


I totally love all the Vacation movies. I think I can recite the original in my sleep. I watch it every time I can find it on (even tho I have all the DVD's). DH thinks I'm nuts!

 

[glitterkittyy]

I find nothing offensive about an adult stating he wanted to go through the buffet line before the children touched the silverware and breathed on the food. I raised 3 boys and at no time did I want to have to use silverware that they had already touched, even after supervising their hand washing.

I don't blame the guy for wanting to go first either. Kids can be very gross, and so can some adults!

 

[monkeybug]

RE- How to get out of a Family event

I haven't read all the replies (actually any...) but what's so wrong with the dog house? Why does it get such a bad rap? In my experience sometimes being in the dog house is much nicer than the alternative. It can actually be a quiet little sanctuary, a nice place where the annoying person who put you in it doesn't bother you. I like the dog house sometimes. I have even been known to purposely get sent there.
It sounds more fun than a boring evening and an overbearing concert Nazi.

 

[OK!]

I haven't read all of the posts in the thread (but plan to), but I'd just like to state that even more annoying than tailgaters are holier-than-thou drivers.

 

[Caropooh]

LOL! I was thinking the same thing!!


I totally love all the Vacation movies. I think I can recite the original in my sleep. I watch it every time I can find it on (even tho I have all the DVD's). DH thinks I'm nuts!

I read this at first as you totally loved all the Vatican movies!

 

[OK!]

I read this at first as you totally loved all the Vatican movies!

Speaking of misreading, there's someone on another forum I'm on who has the username pomchick, like I guess she's on a pom squad or something, and every time I see that username I think it says "pornchick."

 

[Caropooh]

Speaking of misreading, there's someone on another forum I'm on who has the username pomchick, like I guess she's on a pom squad or something, and every time I see that username I think it says "pornchick."

an easy mistake!

 

[Lintasare]

Tsk tsk...stop slacking people.

So I haven't read all the posts but apparently somebody in NJ wants people to pump their own gas. Oh the horror.

 

[OK!]

Tsk tsk...stop slacking people.

So I haven't read all the posts but apparently somebody in NJ wants people to pump their own gas. Oh the horror.

Ugh, people today. I'm in MO and sometimes I'd like someone else to pump my gas. OMG, I'm as bad as Kate Gosselin!

 

[LaraK]

Hey, I pump my own gas so can they!

Tailgaters are easy to deal with...quick tap of the breaks and it's all good.

Also, I always tip well unless the server sucks....of course, I don't eat out anymore, so I guess my input doesn't matter.

 

[just4today]

I haven't read all of the posts in the thread (but plan to), but I'd just like to state that even more annoying than tailgaters are holier-than-thou drivers.

I'll probably be flamed, but I'd just like to say this: if you are doing the speed limit or under in the passing lane, and holding up traffic, I WILL tailgate you until you either speed up or move over. Tapping your brakes will not make me stop. Go with the flow or move over. It's pretty simple really.

 

[LaraK]

I'll probably be flamed, but I'd just like to say this: if you are doing the speed limit or under in the passing lane, and holding up traffic, I WILL tailgate you until you either speed up or move over. Tapping your brakes will not make me stop. Go with the flow or move over. It's pretty simple really.

Shhhh.....I've been known to do that too....

 

[OK!]

I'll probably be flamed, but I'd just like to say this: if you are doing the speed limit or under in the passing lane, and holding up traffic, I WILL tailgate you until you either speed up or move over. Tapping your brakes will not make me stop. Go with the flow or move over. It's pretty simple really.

Well, rest assured, you will never encounter that driving behind me. I drove all night with a friend from Nashville to Houston and, including numerous gas stops and stopping for dinner and breakfast (sit-down restaurants), we got there in 12 hours. I drive very safely and vigilantly, but I drive fast.

Last night, coming home from a Blues hockey game, a friend and I (he was driving) came close to hitting someone who was going roughly 50 mph in the 2nd-farthest left lane of a 70-mph 4-lanes-in-either-direction interstate highway. People in lanes on either side of him were FLYING past him. It was ridiculous.

 

[OK!]

Hey, I pump my own gas so can they!

Tailgaters are easy to deal with...quick tap of the breaks and it's all good.

Also, I always tip well unless the server sucks....of course, I don't eat out anymore, so I guess my input doesn't matter.

I also tip very well, especially if I've been drinking. The only time I don't tip is for pizza; the reason for that is I don't have them delivered anymore unless I absolutely can't leave the house. I'm just cheap enough that I'd rather do carry-out and save myself a couple of bucks. Lol.