I have a "What Would You Do" question

[Rajah]

Sheesh, haven't y'all heard of a survey for survey's sake? She wasn't asking did she do the right thing, she was asking what would y'all do in a similar situation?

"You're in a good relationship. A hot guy offers you flowers. Do you accept the flowers (an in effect lead the hot guy on) even though you know you aren't going to get into a relationship with the hot guy at this point in your life"

Becki didn't. Her roommate would. I wouldn't. What would y'all do?

 

[honeywolf7]

Thanks, Rajah....You understood perfectly what I was trying to say.

 

[Lucky4me]

Well, if I was not engaged and not going to get engaged to this man, if I had already married too young once, and now I wanted to sow some oats, I may have gone out with the hottie AFTER I told my BF I wanted to cool it a little and date other people.

HW, if you didn't date much in HS, got married and had babies right away, getting serious so quickly after your separation may not be the best idea. You could be repeating the same pattern.

Dating does not have to get serious if you don't want it to. You can go out with a guy and have a great time without getting romantically involved. If I were you I'd get serious about school and my family and put my love life on the back burner. I'd go out and have fun and skip all the drama!

 

[honeywolf7]

I didn't get married right after high school. There was about a year in there when I had a lot of fun (within my own limits.) The thing is that I truly do love Roger (believe it or not, I feel more strongly about him than I ever felt about Thom even though he and I were married for seven years.) He is my best friend as well as being the man I love and I honestly feel lucky to have found him. I can balance my family, school, and my relationship (family first, relationship second, and then school.) Maybe, meeting him during the marriage and starting to go out with him so soon after I separated isn't the best timing but it's when I happened to find my soul mate.

 

[gemmie214]

I just want to let you know that this is your life and you need to do what is best for you. Now that I have said that, since you decide to put your life in a public forum and I have read it I do have a word of advice. Please take it with the friendliness that it is given.

You state your priorities are "[family first, relationship second, and then school). " Well in order to help your family (by this I mean your children) school should come before any relationship you might have. Your children need you to become self sufficient for them and for you. I have read that you wish that to happen above all else. You should not put anything before your education because that will detract you from you goals as a Mom.....at this point anyway. I really wish you would take a second look at your priorities. Good luck

 

[honeywolf7]

School's third because it doesn't take much work for me to do well in school....Maybe rather than that being the order of my priorities, it's the order of how much effort I put into things.

 

[wvjules]

Maybe rather than that being the order of my priorities, it's the order of how much effort I put into things.

Well from what I've seen you post on the DIS, you've put more effort into Roger than into your children.

 

[pollyanna]

Originally posted by honeywolf7
Maybe rather than that being the order of my priorities, it's the order of how much effort I put into things.

So "family" is what you put the most effort in?

I seem to read much,much more effort into what tatoo you're going to get.......rolleyes:

 

[JasonLyons]

drop both of them and go back to your ex

 

[honeywolf7]

LOL, Jason. Then my mom would disown me

 

[disneyjunkie]

How long have you been dating Roger? When will you finish school?

 

[honeywolf7]

I have been dating Roger for four months now (but I've known him for a little over two years.) I will finish school in May of 2004.

 

[SPAGo 98]

I've never had a hot guy offer me flowers before, but I don't think I'd accept them, in any situation...

 

[honeywolf7]

Nice to know that about you, Spago LOL

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Just out of curiosity, Have you and your husband even started legal divorce proceedings yet? Or are you only seperated?

 

[honeywolf7]

We have started legal divorce proceedings....Besides, if he's living with a girl already I certainly see nothing wrong with my dating.

 

[RitaZ.]

Since I don't like Ben Affleck, the answer to this question would be a definite NO!!

 

[missymouse3367]

I would have done the same thing. "Bill" knows that you have a serious boyfriend. A thought.... he might have just been trying to see if he could conquer you?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Hmmm, well if I were in your shoes where you believe that you are in a serious relationship then I would have turned "Bill" away too.

BUT just for arguments sake I am separated (I have been with dh since 1986), (fantasizing now) and well lets just say serious would NOT belong in my vocabulary. I wouldn't date until I was divorced.
UNLESS Ben Affleck shows up at my door with flowers and then I might make an exception.

Sooo...I guess I can see where your roommate is coming from. And I agree maybe not with her approach but with her overall message, don't be serious right now because now may not be the time.

 

[snowwhitemom]

No advice...I was never good in the dating thing...IMPO if I wasn't married or on the way to be it would be fair game......You know whats right...Just don't do anything you can't tell Roger about...thats when you know you would be in the wrong.....ghezzz...and I said no advice........good luck to you.