I have a traveling dilema!

[minniemouse1]

My husband and I have been on 3 disney cruises with our children but are considering taking a vacation without them.
We are thinking about going to Atlantis and going bu ourselves or taking our 3 and 4 yo with us and leaving our 1 yo at home. The 1 yo doesn't walk and won't probably be walking by vacation time.
Has anyone done this? Am I a horrible mother to leave my baby at home with her grandma and papa? When my husband first mentioned this I thought it sounded great but now my paranoia is setting in that what if something happened to us or to her while we are gone.
Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

 

[auntie k]

If the grandparents are willing to watch all or some of the children...go for it.
You and your hubby deserve a break & the chance to vacation together. Plus the grandparents will make great memories with your children while your gone.

We have taken our children, and then my nephew 2 times and plan to take my great niece in a couple of years...but decided we deserved a trip all to ourself. We are cruising Oct 9 and I won't be feeling guilty! But will bring home plenty of souviners!!!!

 

[scrappy910]

My dd and dsil are going on a 3 day cruise in December. They are taking their 4 yr old daughter but we are keeping our grandson, who by that time will be 2. I think in the long run it will make a much easier trip for them and we will have fun further spoiling our grandson. We did threaten to take him to WDW while they are out cruisin. Not sure if I am up to going back to lugging around a 2 year old at disney world. Gotten rather spoiled going with just dh and myself.

We did leave our oldest son when he was 1 with my parents while we went on a trip. He is none the worse for it. He probably had a lot more fun with his aunts and grandparents then he would have had with us.

Carol
FL

PS You will not be a horrible mother if you do this.

 

[ivanova]

Am I a horrible mother to leave my baby at home with her grandma and papa? When my husband first mentioned this I thought it sounded great but now my paranoia is setting in that what if something happened to us or to her while we are gone.

No, you're not a horrible mother.

Does your 1 year old enjoy Grandma and Grandpa? Yes? Then don't worry about it.

As for the paranoia, do all the "legal stuff" like leaving a temporary power of attorney (notarized) with your parents giving them the power to make medical decisions for your 1 year old. You can also write into it that if anything happens to BOTH you and your husband that the grandparents be given temporary custody until your will can be probated.

I know this all sounds morbid, but I have the Murphy's Law philosophy - prepare for the worst, then the worst won't happen.

 

[Cruella de mom]

I have just three thoughts on this:

1. GO

2. GO!

3. GO!!

The number one thing a married couple can give their kids is a happy healthy relationship. And EVERY parent (married or not) needs to keep their sanity. This sometimes means taking a few days away from the kids.

Everytime (all 3 in almost 10 years) that we have taken a trip for ourselves we have promised to do it more often. It is amazing how much you can talk about when you can have an uninterrupted conversation.

And I am ALWAYS shocked by how little my kids missed us. Oh they are happy to have us back but the reports on what they did while we were gone never include the hours of hysterical crying I imagined. Plus I come home with renewed energy to play with them and that usually lasts a while.

 

[IzzysMom]

No - you are not a horrible mother!! I have been on several trips without my DD. And have loved it but have loved going home!!!

DD loves her grandparents and has never really had any separation issues. Though when she did, it only lasted an hour and then she was fine!!

Go and enjoy yourself - you deserve it with 3 little ones!!!

 

[Anastasia]

When my oldest was 3, we did a long weekend at WDW with just him. The 10 month old stayed with mommom and poppy. Everyone was happy. The three year old got mom and dad to himself, mom and dad got to dote on the three year old, and the 10 month old got to have mommom and poppy to himself. My parents loved getting to babysit him for the weekend.

I say go and enjoy yourselves. Whether you go with two of the kids, or none of the kids, don't feel guilty. The one year old will not miss a thing, and your trip will be so much easier without having to deal with a one year old. Don't let your imagination run away with you and worry about all of the what ifs.

 

[MelissaE1]

Three years ago dh and I took our first trip without our kids, who were 3 and 8 at the time, and the eldest has a hard time when mom and dad aren't around, so it was tough to leave him behind. We were gone for three days and when we got back they couldn't stop talking about how much fun they had had with my BIL. They told us recently we can go again without them as long as Uncle Mark comes to stay with them.

Another thing to remember, when they are that young they don't tend to remember that much... my daughter was four when we took her on her first Disney Cruise and although she had a great time she really doesn't remember much. She will be 7 this time and I know she'll have a better recollection and hopefully lifetime memories.

I agree that mom and dad having time together alone benefits the kids so much. Go while your kids are young and let grandma and grandpa have a ball with them. It's a win win situation for everyone.

 

[TootyJane]

No, you are not a horrible mother. I say go for it. If dh and I had had someone to watch any of our boys we would have done so. I know, it's hard to think about leaving your children but believe it or not, you (and your child(ren) do need time away from each other. HTH

 

[CM_Mom]

DH and I will have been married for 32 years next week. When our two kids were 3 and 7 I mentioned to my mom that "after she retired" we would appreciate it if she would keep the kids for a week so we could to camping with just us. She responded that we didn't have to wait till she retired, she'd be glad to keep the kids for a week that summer. I IMMEDIATELY said DONE. The kids stayed with Grandma and had a such a great time that we made it an annual or semi-annual event. They thought they were SO grown up to get to stay with Grandma for a WHOLE week BY THEMSELVES and DH and I have a wonderful time doing EXACTLY what we wanted without any "are we there yets".

DD and DS are now 26 and 29 and I think they've had MUCH healthier parents who still enjoy spending time with each other because we took the time as the kids were growing up to cultivate our relationship.

 

[minniemouse1]

A million thank yous to all of you for sharing your situations with me.
My DH and I have decided to go to Atlantis for 5 days without our 3 DD's (OMG!!) for our 6th anniversary. We both know that we need some quality time alone to get back in touch with each other and remember why we fell in love in the first place. I think our children will benefit from spending time with Grandma, Papa and Nanny. We will take care of all the legal stuff before we leave (DH is an attorney) and I will let my paranoia about the what ifs subside so we can both enjoy ourselves. The hardest part will be leaving the house and knowing I won't be back for 5 days.
Wish us luck for a safe journey there and home!
Thanks again.


And we will be back on the Magic in 2007. My DD's will be 6, 5, and 3. Wow how time flies.

 

[auntie k]

Way to go Minniemouse1.

I think you made the right choice and will be happy!!!

 

[rsjj]

i told my DH that when it's our 10th anniversary, (in 2 years), i want to go back to hawaii (that's where our honeymoon was), but w/o the kids! they will be 8 & 5. a whole week is a long time to be away from your kids...but i heard/read somewhere that you spend 24/7, everyday of your life with them, what's a little week? am looking forward to traveling w/o the kids, but am also thinking that they would enjoy hawaii, since they'd be older. haven't decided what to do yet...we still have time to think, i suppose!