I have a medical question about feeding tubes

[preshi]

My aunt is getting much worse... and I guess her kids decided that if it came to where she would need a feeding tube ( now this is what my Mom was telling me I don't know if she's confused) that they wouldn't put one in and they'd just make her as comfortable as possible. Now this sounds horribley cruel to me... and I am quite worried about it. Wouldn't that mean they were going to starve her to death? Why would anyone allow this to happen? She is on morphine every 15 minutes so you know her condition can't be good...

I am really hoping I misheard my Mom and she said breathing tube but I don't think that I did because right before that she went on about how my aunt was able to eat the night before....

Can anyone explain or do I need to call my Mom back to clarify?

 

[vickyBaby]

Preshi, I thought I was the only one who felt that way. It seems so cruel starving someone to death.

 

[tc]

She could very well have been correct. A person can choose to not recieve any other treatment except pain relief if it is the only thing prolonging their life. If she is on an IV, she won't be hungry. I lived on just an IV for over two weeks. It's such a hard choice to make. Do you prolong her life when she has no quality? Is she comfortable, and would she be uncomfortable if she was denied food? These are questions that, IMO, can only be answered after some in depth research, questioning and sole searching. As for me, I have a living will that states "Artificial nourishment shall not be continued when it is the only procedure being provided". I do not wish to continue living if artificial nourishment is my only means of life. JMHO.

 

[luvwinnie]

if I am every in that situation, I won't get a feeding tube.

 

[preshi]

That makes sense tc... it just to me seems so awful but if they can't tell and it's the only thing keeping them alive I guess there really is not need for it...

This is so awful... I hope my cousins are holding up alright.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

My dad died 4 years ago after 12 days in the hospital. He was 83. His condition was very bad and irreversible...there was no question that he would...and at that point, should...die; we knew this shortly after his arrival at the hospital. He barely ate and when he did, he choked (on ice cream even...it was horrible)...he was on an IV. It made me sick to see them do tests on him that told us nothing more than what we already knew...finally, they stopped. Everything had been discussed with him, my mother, us and the doctors, long before he reached this point. He died comfortably and peacefully...just the way we hoped.

{{{hugs}}}

 

[Disney Doll]

Actually, based on the info in your post, it sounds as if your aunt has very little time left. The Morphine will overtake her system long before she starves to death, as it is a respiratory depressant in addition to a pain relief medication. She will not feel any discomfort from hunger.

It is a fairly common practice, if someone is terminally ill and having any pain/discomfort, to give them Morphine frequently for relief of the pain. As a medical person, you have the understanding that in addition to relieving their pain, the medication will depress their respiratory system as it builds up in the body,which it will tend to do in the end stages of life, as the other organs(primarily liver and kidneys, which metabolize most substances in our body)tend to slow down in their function.

Quite frankly, if my mom was at a stage in her life where she needed Morphine every 15 minutes for comfort, then I wouldn't put a feeding tube in her either. At this point, it's one more invasive procedure that will not change the inevitable outcome. Her children have made a difficult decision...I know, because we had to am--make it twice last year for each of my in-laws...so have the rest of your family offer them support and have the rest of your family spend time with your aunt and tell her that they love her. That is what she needs now, not a feeding tube.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family. These next few days will be difficult, but they can also be comforting.

 

[helenabear]

DD said a lot of what I was going to. My mom was on a morphine drip the last few days she was alive to ensure that she had a peaceful death (and she did). Making sure she was fed through a tube was about the last thing we would have thought to worry about. If she is on morphine every 15 minutes, I would not suspect she has a very long time left. Continued prayers for your aunt and all your family members, as well as yourself {{hugs}}

 

[Serena]

Meagan, I'm sorry your family is going through this.

 

[tc]

preshi, I just realized how clinical I sounded in my previous post. You were not asking merely a hypothetical question, but a question regarding a loved one. I pray that your aunt is comfortable and you are able to support your cousins in this time. I tend to go into "legal mode" sometimes, and it was not my intent.

{{{{HUGS}}}}, prayers and pd sent from Colorado to you and yours.

 

[preshi]

No tc it was exactly what I needed... thank you.

Thank you all of you to help me understand this difficult situation better. I knew you guys would have an explanation for me.... I guess now it's only a matter of time. How awful.

 

[browneyes]

I'm sorry about your aunt.

And, yes, it sounds like you're right in your assumption.

 

[Robinrs]

Preshi,

I wanted to add that I'm so sory for what your family is going through also. All the medical terminology in the world does not take away the pain.

Hang in there, honey.

-Robinrs

 

[Denine]

My heart goes out to you and your family.
Not providing nutrition at this time is not starving someone to death. They are past the point of needing food and dehydration is a natural pain killer. It is very peaceful.
I would not put a feeding tube in someone at this point.
I personally do not ever want one. My DH and family know this.

 

[Disney Doll]

Preshi, after returning to this post to reread it, and noticing robirs' post about the clinical stuff, I am hoping that I did not sound too clinical. I wasn't meaning to sound cold and clinical, but I have found through my many years as a nurse that, at a time when emotions may be running high, if you explain things to people in almost a calm clinical manner, it makes it easier for them to understand and concentrate,and hopefully make the best decision for them and their family, whatever that may be. I just always like to be assured that the explanation and understanding of the situation is very clear.

My thoughts are with you and your family through this difficult time. I wish your aunt peace.

 

[Marion]

My sympathies to you and your family, I understand and have been there. You've had some really good replies so I won't cover that territory. I did, however, want to post a reminder to all who read this on how important having a living will can be at this end stage of life. Discuss your wishes with your nearest and dearest and make sure they completely understand what you want and do NOT want done to you. Talk to your doctor and ensure your wishes are in your medical records....do this while you are able to. Look into having a living will made out so there will be no controversy among family members at a point when you are unable to be your own advocate. Nobody likes to think about these things, but trust me, your family will thank you for having taken these decisions out of their hands.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I have nothing to add, except how sorry I am that your family is having to deal with this situation. You, your aunt and the family are in my prayers. I hope that the end will come peacefully.

 

[FergieTCat]

I am so sorry. We just went through the same thing with my dad, who died of stomach cancer in May.

My dad did have a feeding tube, but decided to have it removed. He was lucid enough to make his own decision at the time, and I remember he didn't want to prolong his condition, as it was obviously chronic. However, he did still have an IV which was providing him with liquid. He had also requested that nothing be done to resusitate (sp?) him if he failed. It was very difficult and very sad, but in the end it was for the best.

 

[Antonia]

I am also a nurse - have been for 19 years - and it sounds like your aunt has caring and compassionate children. Too often families let emotion overrule common sense and request that "everything" be done for their loved one. Ultimately, this often causes more suffering for their loved one in his or her final days. A living will is definitely the way to go so that your wishes can be carried out. Wishing the best for your family at a difficult time.

 

[snowball22]

Went through this with my father who passed away in June of this year. My father had faught cancer 4 times, heart problems, lung problems and so forth. In November and December of last year my father kept falling due to lack of nutrition. He was not eating well. He was hospitalized on Christmas and a feeding tube was put in him in January. He was then put in a nursing home. He would get his nutrition through the feeding tube and also had the option of eating. He would eat maybe a teaspoon of food a day. In April his lungs started filling up with fluid . He would go to the hospital, be treated and then sent back to the nursing home. This happened about every two weeks. Finally in June he was taken to the hospital. His kidneys were failing and was not eating at all. He had pnuenomonia and sepsis. They were giving him morphine. The docs said that we could keep him on the feeding tube but that it was not going to give him any quality of life. Basically the feeding tube was just keeping him alive. His body had shut down and we had the decision of not giving him any more nutrition through the feeding tube. He was in pain. We decided to stop feeding him. He stayed on the morphine and he died peacefully about 24 hours later. Basically he went into a morphine induced coma and died quietly. My heart goes out to you and your family. It is a hard decision. Think about quality of life and what they would have wanted.

Hugs