I hate it when people stop by without calling first.

[Andy B]

It's called etiquette, plain and simple.

Since when?

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm not the one dumping on people who want to visit!

Surprises can be fun.

It's rude because it's an intrusion. It's like inviting yourself to dinner. It just shouldn't be done. If both parties have a phone, there's no excuse for it.

 

[mking624]

It's called etiquette, plain and simple.

I guess it all depends on who is defining etiquette. I don't mind it, so for me, it's not inappropriate or rude or out of etiquette for someone to drop by here unannounced.

 

[lisajl]

My boss would drop by unannounced! Hate that so much!!!
It was always when the kids had stuff all over the floor or the dog had just barfed. So, my house always looked a mess when he came by!!
His folks live a few blocks away from me...so it was always, Oh, I just thought I would drop by and see if you...either had the key to the clinic or can I use your phone....AAAHHH!!! No...go away...this is my sanctuary!

Lisa

 

[dis ms.]

Boy arn't you lot friendly.

We would love for our parents to be alive to drop in unannounced.

Oh, give me a break. That is soooo not the point and you know it. It's common courtesy to call first. I'd love for my sister to be alive to drop by, but I'd still appreciate a call first.

My DH has a friend from college that will drop by on occasion without calling. It's usually when his wife is not home and he has their two boys. He'll come over with the boys and let them run wild while he chats with DH.

I don't so much mind close family dropping by, but even my parents will call and say they're in the neighborhood and want to swing by. That gives me a heads up to get decent if I'm not.

 

[mking624]

It's rude because it's an intrusion.

Like an earlier statement I made, it all depends on who is defining "intrusion". For me, it's not an intrusion if someone drops by here unannounced. We rather enjoy it.

To each his own, of course.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

I just ignore it-won't answer the door. If you can be rude, so can I.

That's what I do too. Our house had a glass door when we first purchased it. We changed it to a regular door so people can't see in.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Since when?

From Miss Manners:

And as a matter of fact, there is an etiquette rule against dropping in on people. It dates from the invention of the telephone, which can be used to inquire whether a visit would be convenient, and the disappearance of the household butler, who could stoutly claim that madam was not at home.

Even without that help, you need not receive inconvenient, unauthorized visits. Merely say, "Oh, how nice of you, but this is not a good time—please let's set up a time that's good for both of us so we can have a real visit." Miss Manners suggests saying this on your threshold without opening the door wide enough to let your visitors enter.

 

[pearlieq]

I'm not the one dumping on people who want to visit!

Surprises can be fun.

No, you're dumping on people who value their private time and have boundaries. In fact, you're calling them names. Which makes it very ironic that you're callling THEM unfriendly.

Surprises can be fun. They can also be awkward and unpleasant. Calling before you come over demonstrates caring and consideration for someone else.

Maybe they're ill.
Maybe they're trying to get the bills paid.
Maybe they're enjoying a few precious minutes of their teenager actually being willing to talk to them.
Maybe they're arguing with their spouse
Maybe they're, er, not arguing with their spouse.
Maybe they're enjoying sitting around in their pajamas and DISing.

Showing up on someone's doorstep basically signals that you don't care what they might be doing or whether this is a good time to visit. It shows that you're willing to embarass them if they're not dressed for company or if the house isn't picked up. It shows that you're willing to put them in the unpleasant position of pretending not to be home or coming down and dismissing you if they really don't want to entertain visitors.

Frankly, with "friends" like that...

 

[mommasita]

I don't think 'friendly' has anything to do with it!!!

It's a breach of etiquette....plain and simple!

I firmly agree. My MIL is passed, and although I miss her, she NEVER dropped in unannounced.

Personally this is very ballsy, how do you know we are not ALREADY entertaining

 

[mking624]

Maybe they're enjoying sitting around in their pajamas and DISing.

When did you install a camera in my home?!

 

[Poohnatic]

We don't get any visitors, but I can relate. Our time as four of us is so precious, though my older son is crying right now because he can't have a movie.

If someone were to drop in unannounced, they'd see how messy we can be!

I think in all the time I've had my own place, I've only ever had one person come visit unannounced-just not used to it.

Suzanne

 

[pearlieq]

Like an earlier statement I made, it all depends on who is defining "intrusion". For me, it's not an intrusion if someone drops by here unannounced. We rather enjoy it.

To each his own, of course.

If you've made it known to your friends/family that "Hey, we don't mind if you ever just want to drop by", more power to you!

But people who would do that without having any indication that it's OK are being rude.

 

[Micca]

I can't think of a time when anyone just dropped in. I guess that speaks well of my skills as an anti social person

 

[pearlieq]

When did you install a camera in my home?!

Hey, it takes a pajama-clad Saturday morning DIS-er to know one!

 

[momrek06]

My parents have a beautiful home on an island in Maine. They are only there from May-Sept. (FLA for the winter.) There is a very small causeway that takes cars over to the island (hence you do not need to take a boat). There is a small, very small public parking lot. It is all but $5.00 for the day for parking. They also have recently put up restrooms at the public lot. BUT because this is such a beautiful area the parking lot is FULL by 10am every morning.

WELL, my family is a big family, and many friends and acquaintances of my family will just drive over to my parents house, unannounced, knock on their door, ask to see them and visit and then ask can "we leave our car here while we go to the beach for the day"......

Well M&D are 80yo and this has been going on for YEARS!!!

They never say NO. Never have and never will and it is US kids that are upset that M&D do not speak up and yet there are all these cars around their beautiful home MORE days than NOT in the Summer months.

Why can't people JUST CALL and ask if this is a good day or weekend to stop by???

 

[DVC-Don]

A few times we had members of my wifes family who would make a 145 mile drive to our home without calling. A couple of times we'd come home and find them sitting in their car parked in front of our house. They always said "Oh, we just got here a couple of minutes ago", but the neighbors said they'd often sit there for hours waiting for us.

 

[Serena]

People used to drop in on me all the time. No matter how many times I'd say, if you'd call first, I'd be available, dressed, awake, not on my way somewhere else, expecting company, etc, etc.
It got so I stopped trying. If they showed up, then they got what they got. If I was in my robe doing my nails, then that's what they saw. If I was in the middle of cleaning, then I'd continue.
They don't stop by without notice nearly as often now. And well, it was always my inlaws that did it.

 

[kbkids]

Seriously, how hard is it to just pick up a phone and save both parties the possibility of an awkward situation????

 

[sha_lyn]

Showing up on someone's doorstep basically signals that you don't care what they might be doing or whether this is a good time to visit. It shows that you're willing to embarass them if they're not dressed for company or if the house isn't picked up. It shows that you're willing to put them in the unpleasant position of pretending not to be home or coming down and dismissing you if they really don't want to entertain visitors.

Frankly, with "friends" like that...

Very well said.

Just thought of a great one. We had uninvited/unannounced company come for a whole week. DH was stationed in Biloxi for 9 months when he first joined the reserves (they were activated right at end of desert storm and finished out their training once it was over). His sister lived in NO at the time. We had visited back and forth a few times in the couple of months prior to this happening We were expecting my aunt and grandmother from here in the Atlanta ares to come visit for a week. Well the day before DA and DGM were leaving GA, SIL shows up on our door step. "Hi I have the week off, so we thought we would come visit you at the beach". Great I've got company coming for a week, and DH and I were on our way out the door for our bowling league. We tell SIL that we have to leave and she offers to watch DS while we go (we normally put him in the base drop off daycare). While we were gone DA calls to say they were going to leave a day later (I think a Dr appointment was rescheduled or something). SIL answers the phone and tells my aunt that she and her DS are visiting for the week. DA told SIL to tell me she would just cancel their trip. When I got home I called DA and convinced her that SIL was the one intruding. They still came but not until after SIL left.