I hate being a parent sometimes! *UPDATE page 3*

[redshoes]

I'm sorry that she is having a hard time adjusting. I was one of those hated change, slow to adjust kind of kids (and honestly I'm one of those adults too). 7th grade was hard for me, I still remember stressing over trying to get my locker opened between classes and the first school dance almost put me over the edge. Is your DD one of the younger kids in her grade? I ask because for me 7th grade was when you could literally see how the 6 month age gaps between kids made a huge difference. I was one of the youngest in my grade and struggled in maturity the first part of the year, but I caught up fast.
I know how heartbreaking it can be to see your child hurt and struggle, but it will get better. She'll develop a routine and things will become second nature to her. It's a great life lesson to learn, things are always changing around you and you have to learn to adjust or you could end up being very unhappy. Tell her to take it one day at a time and that it will be okay, it just might take a little time.

 

[Disneyglobegirl]

I'm so sorry that your DD is having a hard time adjusting to middle school - my DS started middle school last year for 6th grade and we had a few bumps in the road but he did well and now this year is enjoying 7th. There are many books out there to help the kids deal with issues and emotions of middle school. I bought DS one called "Too Old for This , Too Young for That! A survival guide for the middle school years" He loves it and reads it often. I have also heard that American Girl has a good one for girls that I plan to get DD when she starts Middle school. Good luck - I hope that things get better for your DD.

 

[Brianne]

I was told just recently that the transition from elementary school to middle school is much harder than going from middle to high school. I won't know for a couple more years how true that is but I can believe it.

If the school has a guidance counselor, make use of him/her immediately. We just went through this last week with DS---not so much the emotional issues but he has been struggling with the transition from elem. to middle school. So far, so good---his counselor is fantastic & he seems to like her enough to feel comfortable having someone to go to when he's at school.

Hang in there. As you can see, you're not alone & neither is your DD.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Yesterday was my soon to be 13 yr olds first day of 7th grade in middle school. When she got home last night she was a MESS! She cried off and on all night last night. This morning when DH was taking her to school she was bawling and telling me she didn't feel good and didn't want to go.

I have NO idea how to help her through this time. I know she has to go but it is breaking my heart sitting here knowing my "baby" is having such a hard time with this while I have to keep a stiff upper lip and "make" her go to school. I've never had this issue with her before. K-6 elementary she loved to go but 7th is really messing with her.

I think her main issues are

1. Many many many more kids than she is used to from Elementary
2. Getting used to 4 classes each day that are harder than what she encountered in Elem.
3. Having a hard time transitioning every other day from A schedule to B schedule.
4. The hour earlier start time

She is my first one to enter Jr. High and I have absolutely NO idea how to help her make it better.

I guess I just needed to vent a little because I'm lost....absolutely lost. I am praying that this is a passing thing and she'll get used to it and not have this issue every morning and every night.

It's times like this that I wish my kids could stay little forever. Has anyone else had a child with this type of anxiety with middle school??? She's such a great kid and stays on task and gets things done but last night she was a blubbering mess.

I'm just sad and lost right now in how to help her transition into the new school easier.

My prediction for your dd: When you report back to us within one month, she will be absolutely loving it. Change is hard for all of us, she has a new building, new people, new schedule- it's a lot of change. Each day, she will grow more confident. You'll see.

 

[hydster]

My prediction for your dd: When you report back to us within one month, she will be absolutely loving it. Change is hard for all of us, she has a new building, new people, new schedule- it's a lot of change. Each day, she will grow more confident. You'll see.

I sure hope so. I'm down to about 2 hours until she comes home. Going to go to Wendy's and get her a frosty and some fries for when we get home and then I'm going to hopefully get more of the reason she hates going. I'm really praying that today went at least a little better than yesterday. I don't think it could theoretically be much worse!

Here's wishing for a good report or some to help me deal with another day of turmoil.

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

The middle school years are the worst! I hate to say it, but it's true. I remember hating middle school. It was just so hard transitioning from being a kid to being a young adult where you are supposed to take responsibility for everything you do. It was like overnight you were supposed to just grow up completely. Also it's no help that the kids seem to be just plain nasty.

Give your DD something to look forward to every weekend. Like maybe saturday you will go to the movies or you will have an ice cream sundae treat. It will give her a reason to just get through the week. Also remind her that while now it might seem like the end of the world, it truly isn't. Everything that happened to me in middle school always made me think the world was ending. Now that I've grown up, I look back and ask myself why in heck did I get so worked up about it then? Life goes on, and honostly, no one is going to remember all the little "world ending" things that happened in middle school.

 

[kelleigh1]

My niece will be 13 on Oct. 1 and she just started middle school last week. I was talking to my sister yesterday and she said that niece is going through the same thing as your daughter. She's always been popular and done really well in school, but now, she doesn't feel like she fits in.

Part of it is the age. The other part is that she spent the last 3 years in Germany and so she's the "new girl" again. So it's not bad enough that she's at this age, but has to readjust to being back in a school on American soil and with a whole new group of kids.

I think that this is one of the toughest ages for girls. I remember it myself and I hated the middle school years - and I was in the same town with the same kids that I'd gone through all of elementary school with. But I still hated it.

For neice's birthday, I'm planning on giving her a journal - with a letter written by me about how I understand these are some difficult years, etc. Hopefully she'll adjust more as the days go by and she starts to get into the new school routine. Hope the same happens for your daughter.

 

[PlutosFriend]

Sorry to hear your kiddo is having a rough time. The only experience with middle school I have, is my own as my kids are still in elementary. Middle school was for sure the worst time of my school life. Not to mention you are going through so many changes emotionally and physically. Just keep the communication lines open and hopefully it will get a little easier for her Another idea would be to talk to her school counselor for some ideas. Good luck and hugs to you both!

 

[Tink33]

I am frustrated because mostly she just says it's too hard and she can't do it and that part frustrates me because she has been there for ONE day.

Maybe you could remind her about things she has accomplished in the past that she thought were 'too hard'.

Middle school is a tough time for girls.

 

[WDWfan36]

Yep you do!!! My dd is in 10th grade and middle school was way worse. In fact dd refers to the "middler schoolers" as annoying.

LOL

 

[Alex2kMommy]

Middle School/Junior High is such a rough period of transition! I remember being scared and hating it, too. Some kids you played with join a clique and don't talk to you anymore. Some kids discover the opposite sex and can make some seriously poor choices. Other kids get in with the wrong crowd and begin a downhill slide that will affect the rest of their life. This is a very pivotal time where the stakes suddenly get higher without the maturity to handle them.

I am relieved to hear the reasons for your DD's upset, because none of those things are insurmountable, though it seems like it to her at the outset. She will adjust, and everything will be fine.

Just encourage her positive friendships, good friends can help you deal with anything! Encourage her self esteem and her ability to make good choices for herself. You can't control what others are doing, but you can control what you are doing and how you respond to others' actions.

 

[hydster]

UPDATE~~~~ Today was a much better day for her! Once she got there her stomach "issues" went away and she did much better. I think the "culture shock" yesterday was too much for her but today she is much happier and more positive. I am hoping that once this week is over she will be able to love school again.

Oh and it didn't hurt I went and got her fries and a chocolate frosty

Thank you all for the ideas and support! I think we might actually survive now. It's definitely not as hopeless as it seemed yesterday and this morning.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well I don't know if she will ever "love school" again...but doing well is something to shoot for!

I am glad things went better today. Thanks for the update.

 

[punkin]

Middle School sucks!!!!!

I am so glad my DD13 started high school this year. She seems to like it so much better. The teachers treat her like a responsible person and the kids are less cliquish (yes, that's a word even if I just made it up)

It will get better.

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

UPDATE~~~~ Today was a much better day for her! Once she got there her stomach "issues" went away and she did much better. I think the "culture shock" yesterday was too much for her but today she is much happier and more positive. I am hoping that once this week is over she will be able to love school again.

Oh and it didn't hurt I went and got her fries and a chocolate frosty

Thank you all for the ideas and support! I think we might actually survive now. It's definitely not as hopeless as it seemed yesterday and this morning.

I'm glad things are going better for her. Middle school was the most difficult transition for my daughter, now in high school.

 

[eeyore45]

Thanks for the update - I am so not looking forward to dd going to jr high I am thinking of homeschooling her for 2 years!! (she's only in 4th grade!!)

Good for you for stopping by with fries and frosty!! Keep up with communications, dont rule out time with a social worker, sometimes it just takes a caring teacher or staff member getting her involved in a club of some kind!! (some schools have the social worker work social groups , all they do is play a board game with a group of like minded kids!! and communicate of course!! )

 

[minkydog]

Thanks for the update - I am so not looking forward to dd going to jr high I am thinking of homeschooling her for 2 years!! (she's only in 4th grade!!)

Actually, I did exactly that--I homeschooled DS(20) through middle school because I knew they would eat his lunch. He was very music/theater/photography-oriented & always marched to the tune of a different drummer. High school, once he adjusted, was a much better fit for him. My DD13 is currently in Middle School and is doing well. But she's my social butterfly. Homeschooling her now would be like clipping her wings(i know, i homeschooled her for 6yrs). But it allowed DS to thrive during a particularly un-lovely stage of his life. So, don't dismiss the idea--I think it's a good one

 

[hydster]

It amazed me this morning when she cheerfully grabbed her backpack and smiled as she walked out the door. She looked much more confident and calm with NO tears! Thankfully she had wonderful teachers yesterday in her B block that helped her calm down a little and now that she's back on A block today she was ok. She told us last night that she like B way better than A but at least we were tear free yesterday and today!

Thank you all for the support. I was a blubbering mess yesterday but feel much better today as well.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

I am so glad she is ok! That is why I love teaching in Jr High. They are different kids everyday! It is always something new and exciting!

 

[mom2boys]

Yesterday, I had to pick up my 7th graders work. (He was sent home with a fever the 1st day.) I happened to wander into our Middle School just as the 6th graders were going from lunch to 7th period. Some of those poor kids had that deer in the headlights look - totally tramatized and running as if being chased by an axe weilding maniac. As I walked across the hall a boy I know hollered to me in a panic strickened voice - Mrs. K, do you know where the tech ed room is? This kid was loosing it. His friend was much calmer and pulled him by the shirt and said I think it's this way.
I didn't see my 6th grader. He is playing it cool and claims he has everything under control.

Hopefully, your daughter will adjust quickly.