I feel like I don't have any friends anymore......

[Stitch's O'hana]

I had a couple of good friends, but I one that I was really close too( she was more like my sister then a friend to me). Anyway things started to change when my parents and I decide to move out of state. I am from MN, but we now live in South Dakota. It's a big change and I miss not having my MN friends by me anymore. We have lived in SD now for almost 4 years( it will be 4 years this Aug.2010) and I have not made one real friend. It just hurts so much, this is one of the hardest things that I have had to go through. My one friend that I said felt more like my sister to me, we did just go to Disney World together this last Sept. for a long weekend! That was the best long weekend I have had since I had moved away from all my friends! But since we got back from that trip I have called her, but never would hear anything back and I still have not. I have even sent her an email and a little note on facebook, but I still get nothing back. Now I don't try to keep bugging her by calling her all the time or anything like that, as she has a family of her own and works a lot. But I guess what I am trying to get at is that it really hurts not to have your friends ever call you or even call you back and at least say "Hi" or something. It just makes me wonder what I did wrong not to have anyone like me or at least that's how I feel right now.

Well here's to a New Year that I can make some more friends!

Thanks for listening to me, I feel a little better getting that out.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I can kind of get how you feel, even though I have friends close by, all of my really good friends live far away.

 

[Tink888]

Just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you are hurting and feeling lonely. I also have a hard time making new friends and I can't imagine how difficult it must be moving to a new place and having to start all over making new friends.

Have you tried anything like maybe joining a bowling league or taking a class for something that interests you? Those are good ways to meet people who share common interests. Or maybe a group at church or volunteering might help.

Hang in there and keep trying. Things will get better. I hope you have a wonderful New Year full of health, happiness and new people in your life.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

awwww hun i'm so sorry. it sucks when that happens


i've had a friend that i've known for 20 years(we were friends since we were 5) and her and i were super close up until middle school when we went to different schools. eventually the last 2 years of high school she came to my school, but things still weren't the same.

then i met my husband and she got really strange about it. i'd make plans with her and we'd get together and then she'd ask me "what are you doing tomorrow?" and i'd say "hanging out with Adam" and she'd get angry with me or she would try and make plans KNOWING i had already made plans with my DH and then she'd blow up at me when i told her i was busy.

she ended up being my MOH in my wedding and i thought things were getting better. her grandmother died when i was on vacation and the day i got home was her wake. i was able to go right to the wake from the airport but i couldn't make the funeral the next day. i didn't have time to get things organized because i had JUST gotten back from my trip.

i think she's still angry with me about that. i've tried inviting her over and making plans with her since, and she always tells me "i'm busy"

the one day i even invited her over so she could show me her pix from her trip to Hawaii and i said it would be just us and i saw on her friend's facebook that night "at *insert friend's name here* making cookies and then shopping later!" and hours later i got a text from my friend "making cookies with *insert friends name here*. can't make it tonight"

i still have a few friends but none of them were ever as close as she and i were. i definatly feel like i've lost my best friend, so OP i know how you're feeling.

 

[cjb71870]

I wish the OP was still on...

 

[Stitch's O'hana]

I wish the OP was still on...

Hey everyone. Thank you all for the kind words and understanding how I feel right now. I am back on the internet tonight...


LiLIrishChick63~ I am sorry to hear that about you and really good friend. It really does suck! And they will just never know how much it really hurts...

Last year I got into Hockey( not playing it, but watching it), so I got season Tickets this year to our CHL Hockey team here and I have really been enjoy that! I did buy into the season tickets alone, so it would be away to meet some new people and make some new friends! I have been talking a little bit to the couple that sits next to me, so will see. The bowling league might be kind of fun to try, I will have to check that out. One thing I really have been wanting to try is snowboarding, just have to push myself to try it! I LOVE Disney of course, so it would be really great to find someone that loves Disney!!! I really need to push myself to find a Church to go to as well, I have gone to a couple of different ones in the area, but just have not found that feels right yet.

Well I guess I need to take a bath and relax a little after a days work, but I will be back on here a little bit latter.

 

[FireDancer]

I know exactly how you feel and it does suck. I lived for two years in FL with a previous job and all of my friends were in Ohio. I met people but none of us were as close as my friends at home who at the time I know for a decade or longer. It did feel lonely especially as my friends back home were getting married and having children.

I am back now and while there were a lot of good things in FL the good things I have here are worth more to me. Hopefully you will find new friends to take the place of the old.

 

[quentina]

I suggest volunter work. Do you have a passion...something you really believe in? If so, see if there is a way to give some time. You will meet people with the same likes/interests etc....(Make a wish etc.)

I also relocated and met all of my new friends through the PTO. I held a board position and opened myself to many people.

Good luck!

 

[FireDancer]

I suggest volunter work. Do you have a passion...something you really believe in? If so, see if there is a way to give some time. You will meet people with the same likes/interests etc....(Make a wish etc.)

I also relocated and met all of my new friends through the PTO. I held a board position and opened myself to many people.

Good luck!

Good suggestion. Many of the people I met in Florida was through local running clubs and the gym. Those are things I am passionate about. If you have something it is a good way to be around like-minded people.

 

[Ghosthost999]

Just remember that life can change in a moments notice and none of us know what tomorrow might bring. So keep your chin up and keep smiling for yourself if for no one else. Loosing touch with a friend is always difficult but I wish you all the best in finding someone new to hang out with. And who knows, maybe your old friend is just really busy right now but will be back in contact with you in no time at all.

 

[NCDisneyMom]

OP...I know exactly how you feel. DH and I moved to NC from another state, and knew nobody but our parents. That was all fine and dandy, but they are not "friends", in this sense. Over the first few years, I made acquaintances ...co-workers, neighbors, other parents once I had kids, etc., but nobody I would call a good friend. After living here for 7 years, I joined a local club for one of my interests, where I got to meet other people with the same interest. And there, I met who is now my best friend. Even that friendship wasn't instantaneous. We knew each other for about 2 years as the friendship developed, and now we are like 2 peas in a pod.

I hope you find the same thing over time...

 

[Diva of Dragons]

I'm not whining here but I sooooooo understand how you are feeling! I don't even have moving as an excuse. I have always had a close group of friends. I always knew who my "go to " people were. Sometimes who those people were would change but I always had good friends..... until few years ago.

Sooo much has happened in the last 5 years or so, in our lives, in other's lives etc.... I literally know people all over the world and have gobs of Facebook/online friends, most of whom I know IRL. There is one couple that my DH and I have been, and continue to be, close to since college. I am grateful for all of them!!!

I am just missing having the network of good friends, the live near me, that I can call up and just shoot the breeze, vent, share good news, "do lunch" with etc...., that I used to. I feel like if I call someone, I need a reason. Then, I wait indefinitely for a return call. I'm not the needy type so I will not "phone stalk" them. LOL!! Generally, if my phone is ringing it's my Mom or DH...possibly a cousin and sometimes (not often) a good friend in Seattle.

I know that when we get our foster/adoption placement, we will have a lot more people in our lives but, right now, I don't really know who my support system is. For the record, it's not all about me. It's just as important for me to be there for my friends, when I have them.

Here's to all of us making new, meaningful connections in 2010!!!

 

[Stitchfans]

I consider myself somewhat lucky since I married my best friend. I have three girlfriends that I talk to on occasion and see rarely but as long as I have DH I am okay!

 

[rony1434]

Hi.
Well i never had feeling like this because i have many friends.

 

[just4today]

Hi.
Well i never had feeling like this because i have many friends.

Awesome! That's so helpful.

OP - I understand how you feel. I have never had trouble meeting and keeping what I call "superficial" friends, more like acquaintences. I have lots of those. But making close bonds with friends who live in my community has eluded me. I agree with others who say get out there and get active. Having common interests is the place to start.

 

[luvmylittleboy2003]

I can totally relate! I just moved from KY to CO. I left my friends and my family and I don't know anyone! Yesterday was a AWFUL day - I was sooooo depressed!
I'm also hoping to make new friends here, but, its really hard. I know nothing about the area.
Wish you the best of luck {{{hugs}}}

 

[malibuconlee]

OP - I have no idea how old you are, or where in SD you are, but I have lived in SD and met some WONDERFUL people while there.

We lived in Pierre and at first I missed my friends terribly. Then DH and I got involved. In SD there is a league for EVERYTHING!! Seriously. DH started softball that summer, I joined a bowling league (just call a local alley and they'll put you in touch with someone who runs one of their leagues). DH shot pool that winter. There were also fishing leagues, darts leagues, and a shuffle bowling league - I kid you not.

We spent a year and a half there and had the best time with some awesome and fun people. Just get out there!!
Good luck!!

 

[brasswillow]

I had a friend who I would have done anything for. I visited her twice, once in Japan, once in Oregon. We shared secrets and people we knew thought of us as insuperable.

One day a mutual friend of ours asked if we had seen each other yet. I was confused because she was living 1,400 miles away. I was informed that she was in town for the weekend and she hadn't told me. When I confronted her about it she said that the trip wasn't about me and that she was too busy to call.

We haven't really talked since (nearly 3 years ago now). It still hurts every now and then, but I'm able to look back and see what our friendship taught me. I was a 110% person and she was only giving when it was convenient. I have learned to expect more from my friends.

OP I hope that you are able to heal from this and find people who are willing to put as much in to a friendship as you are.

 

[Diva of Dragons]

Awesome! That's so helpful.

OP - I understand how you feel. I have never had trouble meeting and keeping what I call "superficial" friends, more like acquaintences. I have lots of those. But making close bonds with friends who live in my community has eluded me. I agree with others who say get out there and get active. Having common interests is the place to start.

LOL! I'm glad you beat me to that response!

I'm like you! Locally, I "know" HEAPS of people! But, they are situational friends. I advise a chapter of my sorority, so I have big network of people through there: other advisors, the students, the university etc... I am a part of a group that practices public speaking and teaching. But, I only see or talk to all of those people on an event/as needed basis.

I know "this too shall pass" for all of us who are in friend limbo. I also know that limbo is better than bad relationships! LOL!!

Hang in there!

 

[a1tinkfans]

OP;
You got some good advise here.
Get out there, network, do things YOU like to do and you'll hopefully meet others that have similar likings....a great way to start a friendship..

Wishing you the BEST 2010 can bring...and some Good Friends Too!