I feel bad and I have to vent....

[Trinity721]

I went to the eye doctor today, and not once but TWICE i heard the comment "You're too young to be married, aren't you?" I know I look young, people always think I'm still in high school... But I just finished college, and a year late at that because I took time off when I had DD! And yes, so I did get married young. But there was no doubt in my mind that DH is my soulmate. We have been together for 7 years (high school sweethearts) and every year just gets better and better. I'm happy, I have no regrets. It just bothers me when I get comments like this, and even when people don't say it I know they are thinking it when they look at me... It's not like I married some guy I met at a bar, after a few dates! Geez!

A side note: My mother got married at about the same age I did, and her and my dad are still very happily married 26 yrs later. So I have no doubt that DH and I can be the same way.

am i overreacting?

 

[ZachnElli]

I use to get that all the time too. I got married at 20 and looked much younger (was carded for a lottery ticket at 25, needed to be 18 to get one). I'm 32 now and still happily married! I was even asked this past spring if an outfit I was buying was for a honeymoon?! I laughed so hard and I said no, for my 12 year wedding anniversary! It will eventually stop as you get older.

 

[Trinity721]

Just a funny anecdote to add, since you mentioned getting carded for a lottery ticket. I had an experience at Olive Garden. I have been there many times and they always offer wine when you get to your table. Well one day when I came w/ some girlfriends, the waiter sat us down and looked at us and said "I would offer our winelist, but something tells me you ladies won't be drinking". Then he left, and we sat there , like what just happened??? Just to rub it in that we were all over 21, we all ordered some serious drinks! That had never happend to me before!

 

[Serena]

Just smile and say "Thank you. You'll be sure to tell your grandaughters they have good genes."

 

[mommytotwo]

Your daughter is cute. How old were you when you had gotten married? I was 22, but there are alot of people getting married at a younger age also. I do look younger then my age to some people because of my nationality, and always get carded. I just hand them my id when I buy alcohol and such instead of having them ask me for it. Makes life easier, but I know how you feel with those looks from those strangers.

 

[2MuchOhana]

It may bother you now; but trust me when you get older you will find it a compliment!

I was married at age 23 this year we are celebrating our 14th anniversary. My mom wasn't quite 18 when she married my dad. They loved each other and decided to spend their lives together. They are celebrating 45 years together in September!

Don't let it get you down! When you are 36 and still getting carded you'll appreciate that youthful appearance!

You can always politely tell them to MTOB! So long as you and DH are happy that is all that matters!

 

[Trinity721]

Thanks guys! I know you're all right... I guess I'm a little sensitive about it.

I had just turned 21 when we got married. DH went into the Navy, and knew it was meant to be and proposed. My mom is almost 50, and people mistake us for sisters. Everyone thinks my DD is really my younger sister when we're out with my mom! And she loves to say, No..I'm the GRANDMA! She loves it, and I think I will too when I'm her age. I can't win. when I'm out by myself w/ DD, people think I'm a single teenage mother... When I'm out with my brother (he's in college) they think he's DD's father! Gross! He jokes that he's going to wear a t-shirt that says "I'm the Uncle!" When I'm out with my dad, people think he's some gross old guy with a younger woman and their child! Yuck!

Can't wait til we're with DH again. I don't notice weird looks as much when we're all together.

 

[Danauk]

A lot of people say the same thing to me and my husband. We met when I was 18 and he was 19 and married a few weeks after my 22nd and his 23rd birthday. It tends to be people our age who comment as they are either not married themselves or are older than us but have been married for a shorter amount of time. We don't have kids but are very happy. We celebrate our 6th anniversary tomorrow.

 

[Robinrs]

Like I tell my son, people will always say something stupid, it's the one thing you can count on. What matters is how YOU react to it.

I have seen some beautiful LONG marriages that started very young, my Mom was 16 when she married my Dad and they were married for 60 years, my sister was married at 22 and they celebrate their 40th next year, but MOST of the young marriages I've observed were disasters. These are the ones most people remember and they reflect on that when they see you, a probably youthful looking woman, doing the same thing.

Concentrate on the fact that you are not the norm.

And your family is just beautiful!

 

[CindysGusGus]

I have a 27 yo friend who strangers are constantly mistaking for my Daughter. She gets upset but I tell her look on the bright side I should be the one upset because for her to be my daughter I would have had to had her at 4, How old do people think I am?????

 

[Ibelieveinfairies]

I got married young, too...I was 20 when my DH and I tied the knot...and we'll have been married 11 years this October!
I have to say I was sooo glad when I turned 30...it made me feel like I was finally old enough in everyone's eyes to be married and have two children. Now I just forget my age when someone asks...not because I am embarrassed, I just have to stop to think about it a minute! lol

 

[Dan Murphy]

Enjoy your good genes, Jenny, they will be important as the years go on, LOL. You are pretty, your family, all of you, make a wonderful picture.

 

[snoopy]

I got married at 22. No one ever told me I looked too young to be married though.

Anyhow, I don't think you are overreacting. People just say whatever is on their mind these days, don't they? I never think its appropriate to make comments to a stranger about their appearance, whether it was meant as a compliment or not. Its a weird thng to say, and the fact that your eye doctor said it to you is weird too. He probably thought he was giving you a compliment, but it made you uncomfortable, so therefore it wasn't.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I was married when I was 21yo--tomorrow it will be 22 years! Before long you'll be wishing that you were carded.

I was young, but the marriage has lasted. I do hope that my children (DD16, DSs 13, 10, 4) wait until they are older, but more important to me is who they marry.

As to the comments, just smile and don't say much else. Of course it depends on who is saying it, what they say, and how they are saying it. Some don't mean to be insulting, but others are sticking their noses where they don't belong. When I was getting my hair cut last time the shampooer commented to me that she was married young (still is young) and how it bugs her when people comment on it (no, I hadn't said anything!). I don't remember any comments when we were married, but probably got them. I also looked young for my age, which didn't help.

T&B

 

[skuttle]

I hear ya! I was married at 21...DH and I were also high school sweethearts. We celebrated our 4th anniversary in June and our DS turned 1 in July. We couldn't be better.

 

[Amberle3]

I'm not married yet, but I just turned 35 and I still get carded!

 

[dizneenut]

I hear ya. I was married at 19, DH was 18 (turned 19 the month after we married). We both look younger than we are, and get comments alot. Esp. when our 4 boys are with us. We will celebrate 15 years in April.

 

[Aprille]

I got you all beat. I got married at 16 (2 months shy of my 17th birthday - DH was 19) so when people told me I was too young to be married they were right! They also said it would never last. This December we are celebrating our 30th anniversary.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Well I'm not married but I get treated like a child sometimes, seriously, because I look a lot younger than I am. I know I have had people not respect me as much as they should at work because of how I look. I've also had people say things to me like "You cut your hair? Why? You still look 15"

I know, I know women are supposed to want to look young, but sometimes, it really makes people treat you like you're in high school. I can't stand it.

Being carded everywhere you go is annoying too. In fact, once I was at the store with my BF (he's 32 but he also looks younger) and he was buying some liquor to take to a big BBQ we were on our way to. We offered to bring the drinks since everyone else was bringing stuff like meat and desserts etc.

Well I had not brought my ID with me because we had just run out of the house to go and we were not bringing much. I left my wallet at home.

Anyway, I waited in line with him at the store for a while but then I decided to run out to the car to use my cel phone because we were running late and I wanted to let our friends know. (I don't use the cel phone in public places, like stores. I use it in my car, when I'm not driving or for emergencies).

Anyhooooo , so the store clerk apparently would NOT sell the drinks to my BF , even after seeing his ID, because she saw me in line with him 15 minutes earlier and demanded to see my ID. He explained that I was his GF and I did not have my wallet with me, and what difference did it make, as I was not the one buying the drinks.

The woman threw a hissy fit and refused to sell claiming that I looked no more than 16 and there was no way in heck she was selling to him to give to a minor. My BF was like, "Um, you saw MY ID , so you're saying I'm , like, a child molester???"

My BF went to the liquor store down the road and bought the $50 worth of drinks for the BBQ there.

The real amusing part is , I don't even DRINK!

I understand why store have to be careful not to sell to minors, but IMO, when a 32 year old man shows his ID, and they say no because the person who had previously been seen in the store with him is not present to show an ID , that is beyond silly. What if a parent was shopping for fixings for a big BBQ with their 16 year old and they did not have an ID???

Anyway....sorry for venting. But I know how aggravating it is.

 

[swankybeth]

I've only been married for 4 months, but I get a lot of comments about being too young. I'm 23 and I get called "a baby". People think I'm still in high school! It's really annoying. I also get carded for lotto tickets, but my little brother doesn't when he's with me.