I feel a major attitude coming on for tonight *VERY VERY LONG*

[Lisa L from MI]

First off...I just got done typing this...and went to submit and my computer froze and I lost it all!!!!!!

Tonight, we are going out with 2 other couples to dinner and a comedy club. Shelley and Brenda (w/their DH's)....I have known them since the 5th grade and we have kept in touch and have been very close over the years.

They are also part of our "camping group" of about 10 sites. We go together places about 7 times a summer. We have been for about 5 years now.

Anyway, last Labor Day, we were camping (about 10 sites) and it was a Saturday after our "group dinner". John (one of the guys I really can't stand anyway) motions to the other guys that "it's time". I didn't understand what was happening til DH coped a major "macho attitude" and informs me that "the guys are going out to the bar for a while". Well, you all can figure out what "kind of " bar they were talking about.

I was pretty much furious.....I mean, we are camping with our family...what need is there to leave and go to a bar...especially that kind!!! Also, Paul and I were having some trouble earlier this year (remember my tatoo on my BD???...as well as other issues). BUT, we were really getting along great lately and I couldn't believe he was pulling this on me!!!!

So, they all pile into Johns truck (not all the DH's went...but the ones who did...their wives didn't even seem to care)

I was soooo MAD!!! I wanted to follow them, but knew that I shouldn't drive since I was drinking a few beers. I even asked my friends to take me and they wouldn't. I ended up asking Cindy (another friend) to watch my kids for a bit and headed up to the entrance/exit of the campground.

I know this is stupid on my part...but I more or less "hitched" a ride with a fellow camper. I didn't know him well, but talked with him the night before when we were all at the band at the pavillion. He was just a young kid, married, with a 2 year old. He was going to the store and said he would take me by the bar.

We made it to the bar and I didn't go in (he said if I did he would leave me there). So, I just wrote a "note" and left it on the truck for DH ( I am good at those notes and letters!!)

I made it back to the campground safe and sound (about 45 min later)....I didn't think I wouldn't and Brenda and Shelley were pissed as could be. The rest of the people were fine and weren't mad at all. Don't you think, after knowing me for so long....Shelley and Brenda would more or less understand.

Needless to say.....they didn't talk to me for a few weeks. I ended up sincerely apologizing for my actions and they accepted. We even camped together a few more times as well as going to parties together etc.

So, it comes down to Memorial Day weekend. We always have to book way ahead...like it November the year before. I kept asking if anyone booked and what was going on. They said nobody booked anything and didn't know what was happening.

Shelley told me that Brenda wasn't sure she wanted to "group camp" anymore since our group was growing so large. But insisted that nobody had Memorial Day plans.

So, last night Cindy (the friend who watched my kids that Saturday) and she was asking about Memorial Day. I explained that nobody made plans yet. She was just going to book some sites today for it.

So, I call Shelley and asked her if she wanted me to book some sites for everyone. She then says that she doesn't think Brenda wanted to do the "group thing" and would rather go on her own. So, I asked Shelley if she wanted a site. She said she would ask DH and call back.

Shelley didnt' call back til this am. We talked about dinner and the comedy club tonight and then she says "I have something to tell you and you are going to be mad"

You guessed it.....Brenda and her booked Memorial Day already!!! Not all the 10 sites for everyone...but about 4 or 5.

I was speechless and felt my adrenaline going. I couldn't understand why she would lie to me and be mad about something that happened and can't be changed...it is done and over with!!!!

DH, last night, when I was on the phone with Cindy kept saying he thought Brenda had already booked sites for them. I insisted that Shelley insisted that nobody booked anything. DH said he would be so pissed if they did and left us out for something so petty and that happened so long ago. DH and I even got into quite a heated arguement over it too!!!!

I am not going to tell DH about this yet. I asked Shelley if she even wanted us to still go out with them tonight and she said "Yes I want you to go unless you have an attitude and are mad"

Well....how can I not have an attitude??!! I have known these people for over 25 years!!! They should know that people do stupid things all the time.....like they never have done anything stupid!!!

I am still going tonight...and probably bringing an "attitude" with me but I won't bring anything up or start anything at all.

Thanks for letting me vent. Ever since I talked to Shelley this AM, I have been dying to tell someone about it.

SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG!!!!!! But I needed to tell someone!!!!!

 

[Pembo]

Lisa-I read your whole post! I think your "friends" are being childish by not talking to you about this and just booking the sites w/o you.

If I was going out with them tonite...I wouldn't keep my mouth shut!

Good luck with however you decide to handle this! And we're here anytime you need to vent!

 

[Lisa L from MI]

Thanks Pembo...I usually am the type that can't keep my mouth shut. Shelley knows this too, so I am sure she will be walking on pins and needles tonight....just waiting for "something" to happen. \

I think I want to do the "sweet attitude"......that's not like me either So, I know they will wonder why I am not "myself".....

I will let you know what happens when we return...but it probably won't be til late tonight....but who knows!!!!!

 

[nativetxn]

Sweetie, sometimes we outgrow our friends. This might be part of what is happening, hope not though.

I would go tonight and be so sweet it hurts their teeth.

Try to have fun.

 

[Serena]

They are your friends. I am not sure tonight is the night to do it, but you need to let them know how you feel.
It was a stupid thing to do on your part, but what harm did it cause them? I don't see why they would be angry with you like this.

 

[Lisa L from MI]

Serena...I know what you mean. I already told Shelley how I feel. I too, don't understand what harm it gave them....They said they were pissed because I had them "worried" when I left and shouldn't worry friends like that....But I think it is stupid to carry it on forever!!!!

 

[Serena]

I would have been mad, I would have went with you to help keep you safe and yelled at you too, but this? I just don't get their attitude.

 

[snoopy]

They no longer want to be friends with you because you were mad at your husband for going to a strip bar? What was their reaction to their own husbands leaving the family vacation for a lap dance?

Sounds to me like your girlfriends need to get a little backbone. I'm sorry they did not include you in their plans, but I think you may be better off NOT vacationing with them this year. That way you can keep tabs on your own and not have to worry what they think.

{{{hugs}}} to you Lisa. I'm in a snit with my neighbor, who I've been with friends with for many years, because she is mad at me for taking my son out of the Catholic school that her kids still go to. She just stopped speaking to me. I figure its her loss, even though it does hurt sometimes when I really think about it. I think its your girlfriend's loss too, if they would cancel a trip over you being upset about what happened. They should have been there to listen, not judge.

 

[Serena]

Snoopy, it is her loss.

Lisa, I agree. Who needs friends like that. I bet their husbands have something to do with this. They don't want their wives questioning their behavior.

 

[faith]

I agree with NativeTexan. As the years go by sometimes friendships change. Why go camping with some that don't want you to? Make some fun plans with just your family or other friends. As far as tonight. I don't think I'd go. Why go and be miserable? Maybe you and DH go out somewhere or include some other friends too? Life's too short. Good luck.

 

[Lisa L from MI]

thanks everyone. I am going.....I am not going to let it ruin my fun....gettting ready right now....

See you all later......thanks again

 

[CamColt]

Yikes! I dont know what to say.
Maybe Im missing something, but I dont see why they were mad in the first place. You have every right to have been mad at your DH if you see fit. Where do these friends fit in to your marriage? If they were just mad because you had them worried then I would think that is really a minor incident in the whole camping vacation. They are being childish and rude to have booked behind your back like that. If I were you, I would find a new campsite to go to with only my family...or better yet, skip camping and go to WDW. Show them all!

Snoopy, your situation sounds silly too. Why does your friend care what school your kids go to. Isnt that up to you and not the entire neighborhood?

Geesh! This seems to be the season for major fights over total stupidity(Ive had a few myself recently)

Lisa, be sure to let us know how it goes, and I hope you do manage to have a good time tonight.

 

[jldriscoll]

Originally posted by Serena
I bet their husbands have something to do with this. They don't want their wives questioning their behavior.

I was thinking the very same thing!!!!

 

[believe]

I also don't see why they are treating you this way. If they were worried about you then they should have taken you to the bar when you asked them. I would not have apologized to them for my actions. I think I would be the one upset with them.

DH went to 'the bar' when he was on vacation with some friends. This was when we were engaged and he said he was the designated driver I told him my thoughts on that and set the grounds then and there. The bar is not an option in this household.

 

[minniecarousel]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} Lisa.
How did it go?

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>Hugs, Lisa. I'm sorry your friends are treating you that way.


And, Snoops - isn't that something how other people feel they have a right to the decisions you make for your own family!!

 

[jfulcer]

Originally posted by Lisa L from MI
I wanted to follow them, but knew that I shouldn't drive since I was drinking a few beers. I even asked my friends to take me and they wouldn't. I ended up asking Cindy (another friend) to watch my kids for a bit and headed up to the entrance/exit of the campground.

I know this is stupid on my part...but I more or less "hitched" a ride with a fellow camper. I didn't know him well, but talked with him the night before when we were all at the band at the pavillion. He was just a young kid, married, with a 2 year old. He was going to the store and said he would take me by the bar.

Ok, first - if you told your DH that you didn't want him to go, then he should have stayed behind. It's called respecting your spouse, and he didn't. I can see why you'd be mad.

Second - while I can understand you were mad, 'hitching' a ride with someone you only met the day before was very likely about the worst thing you could have done about the situation, especially after the beers. I think you kinda understand that, but I can't really blame your friends for being angry cause you up and left. Still, not a reason to cut you off for the next group outing.

I just read your other thread and I'm glad you went above the board. Oh, and those bars aren't visited by people in this household too..... I'd be sleeping on the front step I think...