I dread being in a wheelchair because of the stares

[BroganMc]

I just dread it. I had to do this sometimes last year and would get such mean looks from people. Now, I'm not one of those who gets in line ahead of everyone else, or anything. We park it outside of attractions and I walk in. But people just looked at me with disgust, I know because I am pooh sized. I know I shouldn't care what others think, but it really hurts my feelings just the same.

Personally, I'm fed up with all this Hollywood-driven weight bias going around these days. It's completely obnoxious to judge someone negatively solely on the basis of how they look: color, shape, size, whatever. To do so only makes you the ugly person because true ugliness is a mark of character.

I've had my fair share of self conscious moments. Since I was a toddler my body was shaped differently due to rheumatoid arthritis. My hands are curled under, my head is bent down, my butt sticks out when I walk because my hips and knees are permanently bent with joint contractures. By the standards of Vogue I do not fit. But I always have a smile on my face, a funny story to share and piece of helpful info to give that random stranger. You be the judge what's prettier.

Chin up dearie. It sounds like you've had one awful year (I lost my mom 5 years ago now). That may be the source of a lot of your inner anxiety. No one can take that away but you. (I think of it as the little devil on my shoulder constantly trying to bring me down.)

Remember kids stare at 6 foot tall walking mice as easily as a person with wheels for feet. Everything in the world is curious to them. Adults are sometimes judgemental and ignorant but a lot of times just as clueless as kids. A smile or joke often works like a magic wand turning an unwitting ugly stepsister into a fellow princess.

 

[mrsuperwinner]

I had posted this on another forum, but someone suggested I post here instead.

I am going to have to be in a wheelchair for our Disney trip. I have a bad knee, and I just can't walk that far. It doesn't help that I am pooh sized. But my knee started hurting me 9 years ago, when I was a good 100lbs lighter. My mom, and aunt had bad knees, and they are both thin, so I guess it just runs in the family.

My mom died suddenly in February and I've put on another 30 lbs since then. I have lost 10 of them so far. I'm trying to walk on the treadmill every day after work, if my knee isn't hurting too bad, and I am going to start doing it in the morning too, if I can. And trying to quit stress eating and eating healthier foods.

I just dread it. I had to do this sometimes last year and would get such mean looks from people. Now, I'm not one of those who gets in line ahead of everyone else, or anything. We park it outside of attractions and I walk in. But people just looked at me with disgust, I know because I am pooh sized. I know I shouldn't care what others think, but it really hurts my feelings just the same.

I don't know why I posted this, I guess I am feeling down about it, and maybe wanted to hear if anyone else was or has been in the same situation? Its really affecting my excitement of the trip.

If they stare at me, I stare right back at them. If they don't stop, I honk the horn. If that doesn't work, I try to run them over. They won't stare at me after that.

I'm just kidding.

Don't worry about people that stare. You are there to be on vacation. You will NEVER see any of those people ever again. If people aren't mature enough not to stare, then they shouldn't have even left the third grade. Seriously, don't let anyone else bother you. They don't matter...you matter.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I agree with everyone else. Just ignore the rude stares and comments. No one knows your life's circumstances and they have no right to judge you. I wanted to say that to the rude people who stopped to stare in the parking lot at Target today when my 14 year old w/Asperger's was having a meltdown because he wanted to go home instead of going into the store. I wasn't getting sympathetic "oh gosh that mom is having such a hard time" looks. I was getting "can't you keep your kid quiet and why is such a big boy acting like that" looks. Whatever!

I will add that I recall reading a post several months ago from a lady who needs to use an ECV because of some chronic pain that she has (I don't remember the exact cause). She said she feels better when she wears some kind of brace that is visible to others - like a knee brace or ankle brace. That's like her signal to others as if to say, "Yes, I really do have a medical reason for using an ECV." Like I said, no one has a right to judge you but, if it makes you feel better to wear some kind of brace, by all means do it. It might even make your knee feel better. Have a great trip!

 

[jharrowell]

Let me add my "Just ignore them" message to the mix.

End of the day, they have the problem, not you.

I have a knee problem that means I have stamina issues and walking for long distances causes me pain and also standing still (or shuffling along as you tend to do in a line) can cause my knee to either lock up and not bend, or to bend at a funny angle, cause me great pain and essentially put me out of action for the rest of the day.

However, for short "every day" walking and day to day stuff at home, I'm usually OK, so I went through a real bad time with the "I can walk at home, should I be using a chair, asking for help?", etc. But bottom line, I need help at WDW to give myself the best chance of having a good time, and given what I've paid to be there, I want to have a good time!

So, After deciding that I don't want to force someone else to push me (for I too, am pooh sized, so pushing me is a chore) and I can't drive an ECV for toffee (tried it once, would have been pulled over and given a citation if it was possible) I decided to get a GAC that mean't I spent less time in lines and then with frequest stops to rest and a cane, I'm good. Sometimes I get people giving me "looks" as they think the fat girl just jumped the line/used the fastpass line without a fastpass, but I know that I'm justified and that I'm not getting any more rides than they are so who cares what they think.

Really, if you need a wheelchair, get one. Your enjoyment of your visit is the most important thing.

 

[LindaDVC]

Hi -- fact is we find disney has the RUDEST children of anywhere we go
we go out alot and see lots of kids
but are always amazed at the comments and stares of kids at Disney
we don't let it bother us

DH is a bilateral lower extremity Amputee and and quadraplegic
and the kids and adults not only stare but have to comment at WDW
happens occasionly else where but unbelievable at WDW
Less if we have the service dog with us -- then they are actually friendly
but the Dog hates the Florida heat so he often doesn't join us

might not be nice but I stare back and not discretly but move to stare more when they try to avoid my stare backs!!

i think they get the point and feel uncomfortable with my stares and they try to avoid me!!!!

We expect it now and don't let it spoil our WDW fun!

 

[metime]

Ok I am not Pooh sized and am 5'8" and 135lbs. I am 34 years old and have had to use a ECV a number of times. Guess what? PEOPLE STILL STARE.

For one reason or another people will stare.

 

[peemagg]

You know what it is that is causing everyone to stare? It's not what is wrong with us. It is what is right. WE ARE JUST SO DARN CUTE, that they can't help but stare!

 

[TinkerBell22]

People will stare no matter what & that's their problem. They are just mean & rude. I'm not pooh sized & look normal to most people. I have several medical conditions that make it hard for me to walk & get through the day because of all my pain but the only thing people can see is my ankle brace I have to wear because of an ankle surgery. I can't climb stairs so I have to use an alternate entrance sometimes, I have gotten looks, people actually pointing to my ankle & committing very loudly "I guess if I put a little brace on my foot I can go to the front of the line to". Our trip to Disneyland was very had on my physically & mentally I had to get over people staring & committing. We are going to Disney world soon & I'm trying to prepare myself again, I know it's hard but you are there for your vacation , ignore them & have fun!

 

[bidnow5]

I am a big guy and I'm sure there are people that stare. I don't pay attention I ride my scooter every time we go and spend my time watching other peoples body language so I can avoid hitting them. I have it down pat I hardly ever run over feet or bruise lower legs anymore. By just enjoying Disney and paying attention not to hit people that walk in front of or into the side of my scooter I couldn't tell you if people are staring

 

[Melissa<3Disney]

People stare and say things because they are ignorant of things they don't understand. My sister has hydrocephalus. She is 27, but looks about 6 or 7. She can't walk or talk.(She can yell and laugh like nobody's business though!!haha) It amazes me the things people say. As most of you in a wheelchair know, there are special seats for people in wheelchairs and their family to sit at shows at the parks and certain rides that have special entrances to make it easier on that person and their family. I can't tell you how many rude comments we get from people saying that we are trying to cut them in line! It really upsets my mom, she doesn't want anyone to think she is taking advantage of the situation with my sister. We don't even have a handicap sticker for our car for that very reason. Not that we really need one anyways. And if we always, always wait in line unless it is absolutely necessary that we go through the handicap entrance for her wheelchair. When I was a kid I used to get so angry at kids for pointing and staring, but as I got older I realized that people just don't understand. I can't be mad at them for not being brought up properly! So I just enjoy my day with my family and let those people say and think what they want! Cause in the end you will never see those folks again!! And if all else fails.. just "accidentally" run over their ankles! Jk!!

 

[LockShockBarrel]

I hate that people feel this way, it seems to be the people who need to take advantage of the scooters and alternative entrances the most are the ones who feel the most guilty. There's no reason anyone should be made to feel guilty when these things are put into place for someone's aid. I think there's still a residual old fashioned thinking that says "if you're different or handicap, you should feel ashamed" that seems to still come up, and people don't always realize what it is. I really try not to be spiteful, but man some of these people who pull the "You're faking and cutting in front of us" business...I just want to give them a friendly jab with the electric cattle prod!