and I take this post seriously, and personally. I was just south of 300 lbs. on March 4, 2004 and there were bells, whistles, sirens, alarms, etc. going off like there was no tomorrow. I was miserable and living a life of lies. I lived in a life of denial and false promises. I kept telling myself I was OK: but my body was not and my sense of hope was fleeting. I ate without recourse or accountability. In my warped way I convinced myself I was normal; do it enough times and I believed it. It wasn't exactly an environment to thrive in: if anything there was contempt. Contempt for the truth, which I avoided at all costs. I recall a few years back a friend at work asked if I could write a personal letter for her brother who had similar conditions as you describe. Talk about futility. No matter how many words or nuggets of wisdom I dispelled, nothing I had to share would motivate this young man: the desire to change has to come from within.
I turn 45 yo next week and my life has changed since that March day. I became willing to change. I rode my laurels for the first year and had positive results. The first few months I was irratible and discontent. I was not eating to match my body's desire and I had to sit in that and muck through it. I basically trained it. A few years went by and I took for granted what I've been given. Last November I separated myself from my wife's lack of success and motivation and choose to do this for myself. I've stuck to it like there was no tomorrow and my life is not measured by the scale. This is the way I live because I simply can. Racing on Sundays with my legs full of lactic acid, my lungs searing, my back aching: I am alive. I reach beyond what I could ever dream and drive myself from within because so many other people have no hope; no dreams. This minute is not about how much weight I've lost, what I weigh today, what my waist size is, how much I can eat but that I have a gift and am FULLY aware any moment it can be taken away. I might not ever be olympic champion but it's not for trying. After 2 1/2 hours my body is caked with dirt, I am beyond tired for what I could ever imagine and will be a zombie for 3 days...that is living to me.
This didn't happen overnight and like most people I wanted the results right away. I don't diet...I eat to fuel. Eating is not an event: life is. The most important compenent on the bike is the engine. How big I want to build the engine is relative to how I do the work: intervals, distance, V02 max, etc. What I fuel the engine with and the amounts have a part, but it's not EVERYTHING. I saw some guy out at Rocky Hill last November race the other pro's. It was like watching a cat play with the mice. His engine was so much larger than the others...you might know him as some celebrity cyclist guy from the austin area. All he does is live and breathe bike and there is no shortage of news about his abilities. You might recall a little runt from Coos Bay years ago who didn't have a fraction of the ability some wahoo named Shorter did: Gold in '72 and silver in '76. Yet he beat down Shorter each chance he got: the guy's name was Pre and he said: to give anything less than my best is to sacrifice the gift.
You have to dig deep within yourself and renew that EACH day for the rest of your life because that is how it works. I might not have helped you or anyone else but I know that I am renewed and driven for April 19 to throw down. Stego is over and out...
