I have never been a CM but my two cents: I wanted to mention a reason why they may have told you to put your shoes back on. In an emergency, it is very unsafe to have bare/socked feet. I was in an honest-to-God Mufasa-like stampede in Penn Station earlier this year and saw many women in flats and flip flops literally run out of them and risk cutting their feet and worse (there was glass breaking everywhere, not to mention having to run outside onto the streets of NYC to get away). Luckily I had on laced boots and was able to safely and extremely quickly evacuate the building. Just because others were allowed to ride without shoes shouldn't matter - maybe some CMs are lax on the rules (if there are rules) about this, maybe you got a more conscientious CM who felt more strongly about the need to keep your shoes on. Thick socks will not protect your feet in a more serious emergency. I would not want to be the CM responsible after an emergency when a person hurts their foot and says "But she told me it was okay to keep my shoes off!" If others rode barefoot on the same ride I would question it, but at the same time again the CM may have erred on the side of safety. I agree a more flexible shoe may be of help, like a flexible thin-soled flat or flip flop. I have yet to ride FoP but I know some of my sneakers definitely have a very thick sole and I could see it being a hindrance to certain restraints. Soarin' presents a unique situation as a falling non-secure shoe can injure those below them, which is why you are told to remove them. To me there is no need safety-wise to remove shoes on such a ride, from how it's been described.
In that same tone, if I were a CM, I would never be willing to touch a stranger's body to force them into a restraint. If the person cannot maneuver themselves into the restraint themselves - for ANY reason be it too small, tall, anything - and does not have a friend/family member to help, I would not be willing to assume responsibility for touching a stranger and, if all of these threads have been indicative of the process, "forcing" calves into restraints. I work in personal injury law and that to me screams "lawsuit possibility." Not saying you'd sue but I would bet my house someone would.
As others have said, not everyone can ride everything for a multitude of reasons and unfortunately one of those reasons may include being too large for the restraints. By the same token, I have twin nephews and one was too tiny to ride many things his twin could until this past trip. I do feel for the fact that it must be very hurtful to not be able to ride because a restraint won't fit or you are too tall, too short, pregnant, on and on, but I bet no one else is even noticing that. My boyfriend has left many rides due to fear of heights last minute, and besides a quick glance, I don't think anyone has ever looked at him flee (literally ran out of Soarin' haha). I think in general we think people judge us all and look at us a lot when really most people are in their own little worlds, especially in Disney.