I could Use some Prayers Please. Update pg 8

[MidgeD79]

My ddJessica (26) died 4/29/06. She was my 3rd child that I buried.She left behind 2 children ages 3 & 10. It is very hard when the 3 year old asks "where's mommy?" I went to the library and got some books for children about dying. i haven't read them to him yet because I can't get through the book without crying. Don't expect that life will return to normal for yourself. It will for others and you look at them and be amazed that life is going on for them. Your life will be different. Sometimes it's hard to talk to family and friends because they don't want to say anything that may upset you. These boards are great to let your feelings out - sortof like an online journal with feedback.If you haven't yet spoke with your Dr about a anti-depressent now would be a good time. I learned after my ds Michael (18) died on 8/22/03 to get help immediatly. I though i was doing ok last week so I went off the med. and 3 days later realized it was a mistake. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. It's not normal to bury a child, not to grieve.

 

[momrek06]

I do not know what happened but I am truly sorry this has happened to you.

Octoberbeauty: Here are some ! Please find someone to talk to. Maybe someone at Church. You have a son, you need to be there for your son. I am not an overly religious person but what I am understanding is that your daughter is the HAPPIEST person in the world right now. Yes, she is! She is looking down on you from Heaven above and she is praying for YOU. She wants you to please be happy, for yourself and for her brother. She wants you to SMILE again.

Please keep us posted, October. We are all here for you on the DIS!

Just remember we all want you happy and smiling again and so does your precious daughter.

 

[JVL1018]

I know I don't know you, but as soon as I read here what had happened I have been praying for you and your family. I hink about you often.
I truly can't imagine anything more terrible than your loss.
I pray that you have the strength to just keep on keeping on.


I think when someone you love dies, you just put one foot in front of the other and just keep going until one day you realize that it has gotten a bit more bearable(I won't say easier, because I don't think it ever gets easier)
Sadly, the journey will be much, much more painful for someone who has lost their beloved child. Right now is just something you have to get through to find some peace later on.

 

[lovingthemouse]

My deepest condolences to you and your family as you all grieve at this time. I would like to back up a previous poster when she recommended a group called Compassionate Friends. My best friend lost her 14 yr young daughter 2 days after Christmas 12 years ago, and the sadder part was that her other two daughters were in the car, one was driving. It was a tramatic time for all of them.
This group Compassionate Friends was her backbone, and once she felt stronger in mind and spirit, she offered her services to others who faced losses. What you are experiencing is natural, any of us who have lost people near and dear to us, understand. Know that there are many shoulders here to lean on and many ears to listen patiently. Caroline

 

[escape]

Sherry, my heart aches for you right now. I have been keeping you in my heart and prayers as I know this has been extremely hard on you and your family.

Like others have said in different words, you are going through the stages of grief right now - very normal what you are experiencing. Joining a support group and/or talking it out with trained professionals will help you tremendously in your healing process. Please don't try to do this on your own. It's too much. I know your family is there to help you but there are others in similar circumstances that can help you manage this feeling of despair. Of course, we will always be glad to listen and help as well.

Take care of yourself, Sherry and please....keep talking to us. We're here for you.

mum4jenn - many good ideas here.

 

[TigerKat]

Sherry - I wasn't here when your tragedy happened, I will make up the missed prayers along with my new ones for you. Your faith sounds very strong to me, it will get you through this, along with your son.

 

[Serena]

Sherry, through your words I get a glimps of what you're feeling. You have my thoughts and prayers.

Are you talking to anyone? Do you have a counselor of some sort? Maybe seeing a doctor could help you get through this too.

 

[AC7179]

I am so sorry for your loss. Here is a song from the Compassionate Friends that has brought others comfort. I hope it can for you as well.

http://www.orear.com/ashley/preciouschild.html

"PRECIOUS CHILD"

Words and Music by Karen Taylor-Good

In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still

In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then

In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

 

[Blondy876]

You and you family are in my prayers. Just take each day breath by breath. It will get easier. It's not the same by I lost a child to a miscarriage and I thought that I would never get past the pain. But I had another child to take care of and I had to find a way to live for them. At first I would just try to get through the hour, then the morning, then the afternoon. It was all I could do, and while I had no desire to live I had to for my child. Eventually instead of trying to get through the moments I could set my goal as making it through the day, then the week etc. It's been several years since that loss and I still think of that baby everyday, but the pain is subsiding. God bless you and your son. You can get through this. It may be a help to find a support group or to see a counsler, in whatever you choose to do you are in my prayers.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I was poking around the web to see if there was anything which could be remotely helpful to you. All of the information I saw today emphasizes that the loss of a child is just about the most painful loss one can have in their lifetime. I think it's a good sign you can express your feelings and ask for help.

Here are a few things I found; I hope maybe there is something you can hold onto somewhere:

http://www.athealth.com/consumer/disorders/parentalgrief.html

http://www.lossofachild.org/index.htm

http://grieflossrecovery.com/grief/child-loss/all-i-ask-of-you.html

 

[Robinrs]

Oh Sherry Sherry Sherry:

I think about you and Macy every day.... I pray for you and your heart and I am so glad to see that you have come to ask for help, so few people know how to do that.

I lost my son 20 years ago July 25th... Midge and I know that there is no replacement, no consolation, just survival after burying a child. Like my Mom always said... "it's just not the way it's supposed to be.."

But we cannot make sense of it, it's not our place to.

Seek people who HAVE survived and find out how they did. Sharing with people who have been in your footsteps separate you from the pitiers and the people who have just pat sayings for you. I know they mean well but you need EMpathy now, not SYMpathy.

I went to a grief counseling group then BECAME a grief counselor. I've been one for 19 years. I've been the shoulder, the ear and the heart for many of pained mother, it's what I love to do. It's helped ME to heal.

It will NOT be easy, it's a road you travel. I do not advise medicinal help, which is up to everyone but not for me. I prefer the help of my heavenly Father. He threw me on His back and carried me through this, THEN gave me double for my trouble because I leaned on Him instead of man. Believe me, no human being can sooth you like He can.

Hold on, my dear lady, hold on.

I'm one PM away. Use me if you need me.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[Octoberbeauty]

Thank you everyone. My first grief support group meeting is tomorrow night and it can't get here fast enough! I hope it's a good one that will help.
I am definitely going to check out the website you've posted as well. I need all the help I can get right now.

My son is doing well. It's hard for him to see mommy cry so much, but he knows I can't help it right now. We sat down and talked last night and found out that no one had really told him how his sissy died. He thought all this time that she had been burned up, but she actually died from carbon monoxide poisoning trying to get out of the house. So once I explained that it was like going to sleep for her and not torture, he felt much better. We are getting him into counseling as well.

I think I will also ask about antidepressants at my check up this week. Not only am I dealing with the devastation of the loss of Macy, but people stare at me wherever I go. I know it's vain, but it's tough to have so little hair when I'm used to long hair, makeup doesn't quite cover the marks on my face (though they are fading ever so slightly) and having my arms bandaged for another year..Stinks!

Thank you for all your prayers and your support. It does help me keep putting one foot in front of the other knowing that so many people care.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

Octoberbeauty, please know that I will pray that God will graciously grant for you a sense of peace in the loss of your daughter. I cannot even begin to imagine the loss you feel or what you are going through.

 

[DVC Daisy]

Words cannot express my sympathy for you and what you are going through. Prayers are being said daily for you.

 

[Jeanny]

Hey Sherry~ I'm so glad you're back on the boards. I cannot even begin to imagine what you're feeling, but just know that your friends are here for you.

 

[ADisneygirl]

Sherry, please know that all of us here on the DIS will continue to pray for you and your son. There are no answers for why God needed another little angel that day. There is no way to make sense of it.

From one mother to another, I am so sorry for your loss. Those are not just words. I truly feel them and wish there was something I could really do for you. Please make it through today and get to your support group tomorrow.

 

[wils]

Thinking of you and your son and praying for you both

 

[ZachnElli]

I believe in the power of prayer too. I'll keep you in my prayers Sherry!

 

[Pooh67_68]

 

[Big V]

Many prayers for you and your son Sherry.