I Could Just Scream

[DMickey28]

I'm sure this is a setback for you, but can you see how this seems out of place with posts where people aren't able to buy their child one Christmas gift and they're having to use credit cards to pay utility bills? I think it's just a little bit insensitive to post this here.

Seriously?

First, I have not seen anyone specifically say they needed to use credit cards to pay for utility bills. Second, just because our situation is not identical to others doesn't mean that it's a change that is affecting us.

I can still handle our month to month bills on DH's salary but I would have to be in denial to say that the economy has not effected us. We spend more on food and gas just like everyone else. We have less discretionary income just like everyone else. Just because we had a little more wiggle room in our budget than others so we aren't hurting quite so bad, we can't post here?

Or is it because we aren't the same industries as other's posting here who have taken a huge hit. My DH's industry is pretty stable compared to many others but we still feel the hit on the economy from a consumer side.

I am sorry if others have find this or any of my other posts insensitive. We are dealing with changes here too. Just like everything else people complain about it's all relative. It is not someone elses place to tell me or anyone else that our situation is not as bad as others so I don't have a right to voice on this thread (or any other.)

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

I'm sure this is a setback for you, but can you see how this seems out of place with posts where people aren't able to buy their child one Christmas gift and they're having to use credit cards to pay utility bills? I think it's just a little bit insensitive to post this here.

What?! This poster was stating HER situation. Everyone is being negatively affected by rising utility costs and shrinking paychecks these days. There isn't a litmus test for griping about it on a message board! Geez.

I complained that my electric bill is too high these days. I'm not charging it on the Visa, but that doesn't mean that I'm not feeling the pinch when it hits my checkbook every month. We do just fine financially, so I guess I shouldn't post here either then

 

[Fitswimmer]

I think pretty much everyone has noticed the rise in the general cost of living-particularly energy and food costs. The difference is the level of "notice". Some are being impacted much more negatively than others.

It's hard when you're really struggling to listen to (or read) complaints from people who are doing much better than you are, or to read posts telling you how if you had only planned better (like they did) you wouldn't be struggling now.

If I read the OP right, all they wanted to do was find a place to unload and maybe get a little sympathy?

In the spirit of the season and all that-maybe we could all lighten up on each other?

 

[disneyaggie]

What a great thread! While I never want to hear others have pain, I must say it is nice to know we are not alone.

My company closed out of the blue last year 3 days after Christmas.
I decided to start my own company based on what we had already accrued business-wise and I did not know that the very business partner I selected is NOT the kind of person I should have linked myself with.

I have gone through my life savings, my 401k and finally just started drawing a bit of money just over the last few months. It is a mess. I am now job hunting. I just have to keep remembering that God is in control.

I had to cancel my Disney trip planned for September . . . just trying to keep the bills paid. So if anything, at least I know I am not alone. Hugs to all.

 

[ducklite]

It's hard when you're really struggling to listen to (or read) complaints from people who are doing much better than you are, or to read posts telling you how if you had only planned better (like they did) you wouldn't be struggling now.

It's a fact of life that some people will always have more than you, and others will always have less than you. (You being collective, not meant towards anyone in particular.) It's a fact of life that some people do financially stupid things over and over and over and just dig themselves in deeper and deeper every year. At the same time it's a fact of life that many people can't get ahead because life just throws rotten tomatoes at them every time they turn around.

Unless you are Ted Turner or Warren Buffet, there will always be people doing better than you. I think DMickey28 nailed it when she said it's all relative. I'm sure a lot of people on the DIS would be horrified to have to let their cleaning lady go due to financial pressures. At this point if I even had a cleaning lady, I'd be looking at letting her go. Can I fire myself?

 

[SplshMtn99]

I need to stop reading this thread. It only makes me feel worse.

 

[grlpwrd]

It's a fact of life that some people will always have more than you, and others will always have less than you. (You being collective, not meant towards anyone in particular.) It's a fact of life that some people do financially stupid things over and over and over and just dig themselves in deeper and deeper every year. At the same time it's a fact of life that many people can't get ahead because life just throws rotten tomatoes at them every time they turn around.

Unless you are Ted Turner or Warren Buffet, there will always be people doing better than you. I think DMickey28 nailed it when she said it's all relative. I'm sure a lot of people on the DIS would be horrified to have to let their cleaning lady go due to financial pressures. At this point if I even had a cleaning lady, I'd be looking at letting her go. Can I fire myself?

Yes, but they don't "throw it at other people's faces." They don't flaunt it.

I am feeling a total pinch. I just don't bother to blab about it here on the DIS. Utilities are higher, more expenses (we just paid for major wall renovation for our rental - thank goodness we had connections, but the bill was still high ), and so on.

I am used to it, though, because my dh's job is unstable and he has been laid off countless times before. He still has a job, but I have to live way, way, way below our means - even more than we were before.

I have also been selling more on ebay, restarted my daycare, and started teaching hula. Anything to stay ahead. *sigh* I am bummed, though... I can't DIS as much. (lol)

I wish for everyone peace, prosperity, and happiness!

 

[ducklite]

Yes, but they don't "throw it at other people's faces." They don't flaunt it.

Didn't think that taking what's in essence a 25% cut in income a year was "flaunting." If I were on here saying I had just gotten a 20% raise (I wish!) then it would be "flaunting." But I'm talking about losing income.

 

[SplshMtn99]

Plain & simple. Its the difference between some people going without luxuries & others going without necessities. Apples & oranges.

NOW I'm done reading this thread.

 

[punkin]

I need to stop reading this thread. It only makes me feel worse.

I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch, but I have to agree with Ducklite here. a 25% pay cut is huge no matter where you are coming from because all your expenses are geared for the higher salary and it is hard to adjust. No, it's not the same as being (G-d forbid) homeless or starving, but Ducklite too is feeling the pinch.

 

[EthansMom]

I have to say that I've been following this thread and I don't see anyone who is doing better financially trying to put down someone who is having a harder time financially.

I think some of the posters, who are doing better financially, have posted to say that they too are noticing the effects of a slowing economy. And, if it is so noticeable to folks at higher or more stable incomes, it must be getting very bad for others.

I, for one, am very sympathetic to those people who are struggling right now with money... it's a difficult situation and I wish them all the best.

 

[ead79]

Didn't think that taking what's in essence a 25% cut in income a year was "flaunting." If I were on here saying I had just gotten a 20% raise (I wish!) then it would be "flaunting." But I'm talking about losing income.

I think where the hurt feelings might come in is if someone interprets your posts as saying that you can still pay all your bills no problem despite a 25% pay cut. To folks who are having a hard time paying for necessities like housing, gas, electricity, etc., it could come across as bragging that you can live without 25% of your DH's annual income. I'm not saying that's how you meant it, I'm just pointing out where some of the hurt feelings might be coming from. It's no doubt tough to hear if you're somebody who can't afford a single Christmas gift.

 

[ducklite]

I think where the hurt feelings might come in is if someone interprets your posts as saying that you can still pay all your bills no problem despite a 25% pay cut. To folks who are having a hard time paying for necessities like housing, gas, electricity, etc., it could come across as bragging that you can live without 25% of your DH's annual income. I'm not saying that's how you meant it, I'm just pointing out where some of the hurt feelings might be coming from. It's no doubt tough to hear if you're somebody who can't afford a single Christmas gift.

I NEVER ridiculed or flamed anyone on this thread, rather I've said that we are praying for everyone who is feeling the pinch. It's unfortunate that some people have chosen to single me out when there are several others on this thread who have stated they are in the same situation that we are in.

 

[LadyShiva]

I NEVER ridiculed or flamed anyone on this thread, rather I've said that we are praying for everyone who is feeling the pinch. It's unfortunate that some people have chosen to single me out when there are several others on this thread who have stated they are in the same situation that we are in.

Anne, when your hardships are defined by not doing new sod and a new paint job on your beautiful customized house next year, versus not being able to fill the deep freeze at a good sale or get a gift for your kid for the holidays, it seems a bit petty.

I see your point that you might get smacked by a significant cut in income, but your post that you're delaying elective house maintenance seemed a bit over the top... enough that I remember it days later.

I get you about taking what you see is a big income drop--but SOD? You're worried about not doing landscaping??? Especially seeing I see you on the Budget Boards with good tips and fussing at people for having their priorities in the wrong place (not arguing with you there!); your worries seemed really out of balance, and frankly, quite jarring to read.

The only reason I stepped in with this note is you still are posting trying to defend yourself. Honestly, this seems like a live and learn moment--and understand why your comments were interpreted differently than you intended them to be.

I hope I haven't created hard feelings!

Brandie

 

[Disney Doll]

DH is a realtor. I'm a nurse. We've had an ex*****ive couple of months...sick (& ultimately put to sleep ) dog, a couple of trips (1 pleasure, 1 business), just finished a much needed kitchen renovation....got rid of the avocado green appliances circa 1970's and so on and so on.

I work per diem. Nice to be able to choose the days and shifts I work but if I don't work I don't get paid.

Things are a bit squeaky tight right now.

It'll pass.

 

[ducklite]

Anne, when your hardships are defined by not doing new sod and a new paint job on your beautiful customized house next year, versus not being able to fill the deep freeze at a good sale or get a gift for your kid for the holidays, it seems a bit petty.

I see your point that you might get smacked by a significant cut in income, but your post that you're delaying elective house maintenance seemed a bit over the top... enough that I remember it days later.

I get you about taking what you see is a big income drop--but SOD? You're worried about not doing landscaping??? Especially seeing I see you on the Budget Boards with good tips and fussing at people for having their priorities in the wrong place (not arguing with you there!); your worries seemed really out of balance, and frankly, quite jarring to read.

The only reason I stepped in with this note is you still are posting trying to defend yourself. Honestly, this seems like a live and learn moment--and understand why your comments were interpreted differently than you intended them to be.

I hope I haven't created hard feelings!

Brandie

It's NOT elective house maintenance. If it's not done, we'll be fined by the HOA. So NOT doing it will cost us money. Trust me, I've got a TON of "elective" things I'd like to do around the house, but that's not getting done anytime soon. We have to have the house painted as part of our by-laws. We have to have the lawn looking good. Right now about half of it is dead, and we've already gotten a warning letter. We were planning on using part of the bonus to replace the sod, and planning on putting part of it away towards the expense of painting the house. We've got to find that money someplace else in the budget now.

I'd agree with you if I was saying I wanted to add architectural lighting or something like that. But what needs to be done isn't a choice.

If I don't do the work, the HOA will eventually slap a lien against my home and threaten to foreclose if I don't pay it. Would that make me eligible to post on this thread? Sheesh.

 

[graygables]

I totally get what Liberty Belle, ead79, ladyshiva, and SplshMtn99 are saying. I see where they are coming from.

It's one thing to have a HOA "threaten" b/c you need to perform a little maintenance (which you can probably do rather inexpensively by yourself) and another to be facing foreclosure from your BANK because there was no work. It's a bit like telling someone with a broken arm that you have a hangnail. Yes, EVERYONE is feeling the pinch, but it is important to remember that others are pinched harder than (collective) we are and it is important to be sensitive about it. Try to imagine being a mom with no tree, much less anything to put under it, scraping together change to buy a carton of milk reading someone complain b/c they might not get their bonus this year that they don't even NEED for day to day expenses. I'm just saying that a simple, "Yeah, we're feeling it, too" is all that is necessary.

 

[ducklite]

Sorry that I'm not trying to trap field mice to add to the soup pot for dinner. I guess I'm not broke enough yet to be part of this thread, so I'll bow out. (Before everyone gets their panties in a twist, that's all said with sarcasm, I'm not implying that anyone here is doing that.)

To those of you who are experiencing hard times, I hope that things look brighter for you very soon.

And for the person who didn't have the money for a Christmas present for their child, please call Toys for Tots. I'm sure that it's a tough thing to do, but do it for your child. They don't have to know anything except that Santa came.

 

[ZPT1022]

trying to eat healthy. They don't make healthy food cheap. No wonder so many women are overweight! Sorry that was a bit off topic.
.

This is a big peeve of mine. Eat the wrong things and face health consequences from that choice, but buying the healthy food to begin with is not cheap. Fresh veggies and whole grains are not cheap. If you buy good cuts of meat (we're vegetarian, so it doesn't apply) I'm sure it's even worse.

I've been saying this for months, but have been consistently told that I don't know what I'm talking about and the inflation rate is low. On other threads about the economy it's been pretty much flatly stated that anyone who is having financial trouble is having it because of their own mistakes.

The way I see it-if you get the standard 3% COLA every year while the real cost of living goes up 5 to 10% each year, you're running at a deficit of 2-8% each year. I think many of us in the Middle to Lower Middle class are in this position. You don't notice the gap at first, but as the years go on it gets harder and harder to make ends meet. Couple that with the real job losses, illnesses and other major things that can go wrong and it sets a lot of people up for a rough time.

Things are tight in my house, but fortunately not to the level that some are experiencing. My prayers go out to all of those who are suffering financial issues this time of year. It's always hard to struggle that way, but it seems particularly painful at the holidays.

This is where we're at. Every year the insurances and stuff go up more than DH's raise. DH has been averaging a 3% raise the last few years. Granted, it's better than nothing, but when health insurance goes up by 15% plus raises the copays it really stings. Add to that the rising prices of groceries, gas, housing and utilities and it's hard not to feel worried about the future. We did start a health spending account for next year so we're hoping that takes a bit of the sting out of the increased copays for health insurance but we still have to pay it first and submit for a refund so we're worried that for a while it will actually be worse.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Do any of you remember how things got in the early to mid 80's with the oil bust? I've seen comparisons to those times, and the times we're going through now.

There was an article in The Houston Chronicle comparing the recovery time and the issues then, to what's going on now and how long this is anticipated to last, and it was very interesting, not to mention scary.

It hit us extremely hard in the 80's. I had a two year old, wasn't working and my husband was getting home at 11AM every day because there was no work. And he was a plumber! That's how scared businesses were to spend money!

The stress was just unbelievable. I remember feeling like I was hanging on by the skin of my teeth. Ironically, when I think back to the worst of it, it was around Christmas time. One year, we had a tree and nothing under it, and the next year we didn't even put up a tree. When I hear those stories on here now, it just makes me wince.

I wasn't a homeowner then, but we did get our lease terminated by our landlord and we did have to borrow a lot of money from my parents (my two year old needed to have tubes put in her ears), and the worse thing about it, was that I ended up with some screwed up credit.

It did pass though, and hopefully this will too - quickly. It took us awhile, but we were able to pick up the pieces, and best of all, my children don't remember a thing about it.

Rambling... sorry.