I can't believe I'm posting a teacher vent!

[Traveliz]

My daughter (who is now a Senior in high school) was part of those student led conferences in grades 1-3 and then 7-8. In the primary grades the teacher sat right along during the conference.

In junior high parents and students would sit in a room with probably about 10-12 desk set ups and students would lead the conference with the teachers circling ...they would briefly sit down and give input.

I don't like it and I didn't like but they still do it despite the complaints.

Liz

 

[Sleepy]

Originally posted by coinkc
As a teacher and a parent, I must jump in here. I too agree with one-on-one conferences. However, why should I take time from my family to hold night conferences for "those poor parents who work"? Teachers do not get paid any extra whether they leave at 4:00 or 9:00. Also, I used to hold evening conferences for working parents. However, after sitting alone at 7:00 waiting for the parents who signed up for those time slots and then didn't bother to show, well, I just decided I'd rather be home with my daughter. And by the way, I did take off a half day to attend my daughter's conferences.

(Stepping off my soapbox now.)

There are some people who have jobs that don't include personal, sick days and vacation days. I had one of those jobs. With a husband always out to sea, I appreciated the teachers who made available evening conferences. To me, it was like teacher extra credit. They were doing more than expected of themselves just as a child would have done with their extra credit school work. I am sorry you don't think you should have to work without pay. I am thankful for the nurse who stayed WITHOUT pay after her shift ended so that she could help me through a very difficult birth. She took time from her children to be with me. For that I will forever remember her. Maybe before you completely axed all evening conferences, you should have remembered the parents who DID show up. My sons last school did not give us the option of scheduling. They just sent a paper home with a time and said be there. I did not attend because I couldn't. I wonder what your opinion is of a parent who does not attend a conference scheduled by a teacher. I can only imagine you consider them uncaring of their child's progress.

 

[bballmom56]

Originally posted by coinkc
As a teacher and a parent, I must jump in here. I too agree with one-on-one conferences. However, why should I take time from my family to hold night conferences for "those poor parents who work"? Teachers do not get paid any extra whether they leave at 4:00 or 9:00. Also, I used to hold evening conferences for working parents. However, after sitting alone at 7:00 waiting for the parents who signed up for those time slots and then didn't bother to show, well, I just decided I'd rather be home with my daughter. And by the way, I did take off a half day to attend my daughter's conferences.

(Stepping off my soapbox now.)

I certainly understand your position. In our town, this is spelled out in the teachers' contract. They have 2 afternoons (3-5) and 2 evenings (6-9) to schedule conferences. On the days they have afternoon conferences, it is stated in the contract that it will be 1/2 day. However, if you have a problem with scheduling, most of the teachers are happy to work with you. And they are very willing to meet with parents at any time of the year. We have a really good school system that way.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Originally posted by coinkc
As a teacher and a parent, I must jump in here. I too agree with one-on-one conferences. However, why should I take time from my family to hold night conferences for "those poor parents who work"? Teachers do not get paid any extra whether they leave at 4:00 or 9:00. Also, I used to hold evening conferences for working parents.

Why? Maybe to benefit the students! Good grief! Boy, giving up an evening or two a year. What a martyr. Whatever happened to people doing what is right rather than what they are compensated for?

 

[disykat]

I'm glad I posted - thanks for understanding I wasn't venting about all teachers, just this situation! I hadn't really thought about the whole middle school thing before - maybe she thinks she's getting them ready for jr high? (My son is still in elementary school)

I'm relieved to see I'm not out of line being upset by this. Now I still have to decide if I'm going to say anything. Due to my employment situation (I sub at the school and hope to get a job in the district sometime in the next few years) I'm hesitant to rock the boat.

I've decided that, as a parent, it ultimately comes down to whether I think the teacher cares about my child. I think that's really why I've never had complaints before - but this year is different. I guess I really am going to have to get used to this as my child transitions into jr high and no longer has a 1-1 relationship with each of his teachers.

 

[mom2boys]

Student lead conferences - I sure hope our school district doesn't get that bright idea. So, I am supposed to schedule an appointment with my child, drive to his school & sit & talk with him. Sounds ludicrious to me. So how do you handle a situation like the one my friend is currently experiencing. At her 3rd grader's conference the teacher expressed concern that the child is ADD/ADHD - do you think a 3rd grader is going to say "here's my work - it's good but it'd be better if I was able to focus better"

 

[disykat]

I have to comment about the evening conferences. When I taught, I offered them - but never had any parents take me up on them.

 

[coinkc]

For all of you who think I am a terrible person because I don't want to give up an evening for conferences, DON'T EVEN GO THERE! I am very dedicated to my students. I spend hours and hours preparing lessons, grading papers, conferencing with parents in person and by phone, etc etc. I do this because I love my job and care about my students. I have never been one to complain nor do I feel that I am a martyr. However, please explain to me why I should give up an evening from my own daughter (who I would then have to pay a baby-sitter for as I too am a single parent) to meet with parents. I should also say, that I do everything I need to do to ensure that I meet with every parent at least once usually more times per year depending on the eneds of that student. I have met with parents after school, in the evenings, I even once conferenced with a parent in the parking lot of the school skating party which they manage to attend every month but can't make it to a conference. Please don't judge people just because they don't do everything that YOU think they should do, no matter what the profession.

 

[MerryPoppins]

No way! I'm a teacher too and you and your child deserve her undivided attention at your conference.

I know evening conferences are hard and are often not attended. I guess if I was not offering evening conferences, I would find a way to accommodate parents that couldn't come at my scheduled time. For example, scheduling one with my child playing in the corner if a parent couldn't come during the afternoon.

IMO, the student-led conferences aren't all they are cracked up to be. Maybe it's because my kids don't have much that they need to take responsiblity for, but I like to have that time to speak frankly with the teachers. Sometimes I want to say things that I wouldn't say in front of my child, you know? I also want to hear them speak openly about strengths and weaknesses. I love my kids dearly, but we talk about school all the time. I'm there to talk to the teachers.

 

[Chicago526]

This might be a silly or stupid question from someone that doesn't have kids yet...

...but why not have some of these conferances by phone? If the child is doing well overall with few or no problems, why not just have a nice 10 minute chat by phone? The teacher and parent could do it in the comfort and privacy of their own homes, without taking time from work or evening/weekend activities for anyone?

I only see the need for face to face meetings if there is a serious problem with the student, myself. But maybe there is a good reason for meeting in person that I'm not thinking of? If the parents just want to meet the teacher, to put a "face on the name" as it were, just have an open house so all the parents can stop by, see the classroom, and chat with the teacher about general things going on in class. Then have the private conferances by phone at everyone's leisure.

But that's just my opinon, I could be wrong!

 

[Disney Ella]

I don't think it's a silly idea, Chicago! Our conferences are during the day and it's hard to find someone who is home during the day to watch the kids while I go to the conferences. I get DH to come home and stay with the kids for the fall conferences so I can meet the teachers, then I do the spring conferences by phone. Of course, my kids haven't had any problems so far. If there were any problems, I would want a face-to-face conference, but the phone conference works for me so far.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

I'm also not a fan of the student being involved in the conference. DS7's teacher did that last year--he was 6, and frankly, he's a high needs child, for lack of a better phrase. We know this, we work with the school, etc. But the teacher was awful to him--she didn't say one (not ONE!) nice thing about him or his work, and he was right there! When we tried to soften her blows, she would just cut him down again. Now, we know he needs to work on some things, really, he's not perfect--but he's still 6! I can even imagine with an older child, there might be things you just don't want ot say in front of them (like, if your child's lazy--you and the teacher may agree on that, but should they hear it from both of you at the same time? This HELPS the child?).

Off my soapbox now.

Chicago, generally during conferences, at least at the lower grades, teachers like to show you samples of kids work, maybe their journals, sometimes test results or other things, so face to face does help. however, it shouldn't be a deal breaker--I would accept a phone conference for my DD9, who's a good student. Also, some teachers at our school offer before school conferences, which I like also.

 

[Divamomto3]

A parent teacher conference should be a private time for both sides to discuss concerns. Other groups of parents should not be there and neither should the student. I'd insist on a private conference if I had concerns about my child.

 

[tiggerdog]

Please don't bash the teachers because of the Student Led Conferences. The teacher may not have a choice in the matter. We were directed by our school board members, who were elected by the community, to use Student Led Conferences. I have no choice but to follow this directive.

However, despite this directive, we put in a little twist here - the child leads his or her parents around the room and looks at the student work. Then, the parent and child go into another room to meet with the four core team teachers. This conference is private, no others are allowed in the room. The parent and student meet with the team for 15 minutes.

As for scheduling, we do things a little different then what others appear to be doing. We use Wednesday night from 5:00 to 9:00. Thursday we do not have students, but instead conferences from 7:30 a.m to 11:30, 12:30 to 4:00, the 5:00 to 9:00 again. We do not have school on the Friday as it is a flex day for the conferences. Yes, we get paid by having a day off.

Before you complain about the kids missing four more days of school (we conference in fall and spring), we do not have staff development days or early release days in our district. We do these before school starts in August.

Sorry to be so long winded!

 

[LurkerLisa]

Originally posted by coinkc
As a teacher and a parent, I must jump in here. I too agree with one-on-one conferences. However, why should I take time from my family to hold night conferences for "those poor parents who work"? Teachers do not get paid any extra whether they leave at 4:00 or 9:00. Also, I used to hold evening conferences for working parents. However, after sitting alone at 7:00 waiting for the parents who signed up for those time slots and then didn't bother to show, well, I just decided I'd rather be home with my daughter. And by the way, I did take off a half day to attend my daughter's conferences.

I am only a sub, but I did do a long-term cover and was responsible for conferences. I have to say that you should try for a better contract - here if the teacher has to stay for conferences, they get "comp time" on another day : )

Lisa

 

[HollyJoy]

Sounds a little strange and not very personal to me. HOw can 3 conferences be going on at once? I thought the point of a teacher conference is to have time to talk to the teacher. .. you shouldn't have to share your time with others! I'd complain.

 

[swilphil]

I'm a teacher, so I was prepared to jump to the teacher's defense. After reading the situation, I think you have a right to be concerned. It sounds like student-led conferences may be another one of those trends. It may have some merits, but I like the idea of meeting with the teacher privately in addition to the student-led conference. If there doesn't seem to anything too urgent, you could just touch base by phone or e-mail. I understand that the teacher may not have a choice about the format of the conferences, but why is she only offering them on 2 of the 4 days. If there's not an in-service scheduled, it sounds like somebody's taking a couple extra days of vacation.

As far as evening conferences, I've never had a problem showing up for those. I'm a big believer in fighting for teachers' rights, but I've worked where there are too many working moms. Plus I think it's helpful if Dads can be part of the conference. I've been lucky that the principals I've worked for have allowed us to come in late or leave early one day to make up for the time when you come in for the evening.

 

[auntpolly]

I guess I'll put my flame retardant suit on before I say this, but - I think conferences can be kind of a waste of time in general.

DDs grade school and middle school had open house and conferences and while open house was a good opportunity to get a look at the teacher and what they had planned, but we never had much of anything to talk about at conferences.

Why not call them as needed? If you are worried about how a kid's doing in math, call and ask if you can talk to the teacher and set up a time that's good for both of you. If she's not trying to work in times for 20 other kids it will be easier.

Why haul everyone in if everything is going fine and there are no concerns? They seem like something that everyone thinks they have to do, but aren't always necessary.

 

[jgmklmhem]

When did all these "mandatory" conferences start for everyone. I asked my mother (a teacher herself who agrees with my following opinion) if my bro sis and I had them when we were in school and she said that it only happened as necessary. Sometimes never in a particular year and sometimes more than once is a given grade. They always had open house and such, but never conferences just to have a conference. My kids are still too young...so I don't know what our area is like. I think it would be much easier on teachers and parents if conferences would only be called as needed. Little Johnny might need 5 in one year...but little Sally might not need any. Overall it might average out to be the same amount...but at least people aren't wasting time on a not needed conference. Was this implemented to mask who was having conferences and who was not. If everyone has to have one then everyone is the same...and no ones' feelings get hurt.

 

[auntpolly]

Originally posted by jgmklmhem
conferences and who was not. If everyone has to have one then everyone is the same...and no ones' feelings get hurt.

It wasn't like we never needed one - when I did, I discreetly called the teacher and we discreetly met. If a teacher had something to talk to me about, she could do the same. Seems logical to me, but maybe there's something I'm missing.