I called the cops, would you have

[Green Tea]

I've told my kids if they were being chased to run into someone's house....that chances are any home is safer than whoever is chasing them. Except maybe some Dissers.....

 

[torinsmom]

I've told my kids if they were being chased to run into someone's house....that chances are any home is safer than whoever is chasing them. Except maybe some Dissers.....

Well, tell them not to throw themselves against my door while yelling "Mom, she won't let me in!"

Teach them to yell, "Help me! Someone is chasing me!" or just "Help!" I also think I could look through my window or peephole and tell if a child is in distress, even if they didn't call out. In that case, I would do my best to help. That does not seem to be what happened in the OP's case.

 

[DVCisME]

I think the OP should have spoken to the kid thru the door, before calling the police

I did, thanks!

As for being that neighbor. The girl does not even live here. I have meet my neighbors and their children, she is neither. Oh well.

 

[EMom]

So you're not worried about little girls knocking on your door, in order to stage a home invasion?

I really worry about the kind of mindset that sees every person at our door - even a child - as a threat. It reminds me too much of the kind of thinking that led to an acquittal in the case of the Japanese exchange student, shot by a man in Louisiana. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoshihiro_Hattori)

I don't want to live that way, and if I ever thought my town was heading down that track, I'd move.

Do you mind if the Texans flee to Canada to escape the Mexicans that are fleeing to escape kidnappings? Okay, let me explain that one. We live in an affluent town and I'd say 2/3 of every new family moving here over the past 2 years is a wealthy family from Mexico. They have chosen to flee the country due to the very real threat of kidnappings. Although they have since moved, my old next door neighbors were the near victims of a kidnapping. Lucky for them (and unlucky for the actual victim) the kidnappers made a mistake and snagged a lookalike employee instead of the neighbor. Cue for them to get a second home in Texas and leave Mexico. That's what they do......Come here, buy a home, send the kids to school, and have daddy fly home as little as possible to keep the family's business going.

It's only a matter of time (and has already happened in some areas) before some enterprising soul spreads the kidnapping trend throughout our fair state. Most people outside the border states have no idea of how bad it's gotten. The cartels have people on this side of the border too. At some point, it will occur to them that there is good money to be made kidnapping wealthy Mexicans on THIS side of the border. It's not rocket science.

It's easy to say you'd move..... My family has lived here since the early 1800s and we love it. But it's dang near changing overnight. We can't seem to stop it, so we're left with the reality of being surrounded by people who fled a very posh life to keep from being kidnapped and killed. A line on a map called a border is NOT going to stop that from following them over when they are the targets. It's just a matter of time. And we get to deal with the fallout. I never thought I'd see the day I'd have to consider leaving Texas, but we are. Not anytime soon, but sometime in the future. And the scary thing is, I live in what (by any stretch of the imagination) is an upscale, lovely place.

I wish I was overreacting, but I'm not. So if some kid slams themselves at my door and yells to an adult that I won't let them in, it's going to cross my mind that they have my house mixed up with the folks down the street who ran from Mexico in fear of their lives and just out of the grasp of kidnappers. And if I have any sense at all, I won't open the door. I don't like that our lives have been affected this way.....but they have.

 

[EMom]

And before anyone thinks I'm exaggerating, here's an example. DD's elementary school has over 1000 kids. And it's only one elementary of many in our town. In the past few years, hundreds....not dozens......hundreds of wealthy kids from Mexico have enrolled at her school alone. Ask their parents and they are upfront about why they moved here. So that's one school in one town in Texas. Repeat that for every school in our town, because the pattern is the same. Five years ago....or even less....this was not an issue. Now it's whacking us in the face daily. It's an uneasy feeling to know that most of your new neighbors left just one step ahead of kidnappers. And that the group that does the kidnapping has plenty of "employees" on the Texas side. It's simply unnerving. You try it. It's no fun.

 

[Magpie]

And before anyone thinks I'm exaggerating, here's an example. DD's elementary school has over 1000 kids. And it's only one elementary of many in our town. In the past few years, hundreds....not dozens......hundreds of wealthy kids from Mexico have enrolled at her school alone. Ask their parents and they are upfront about why they moved here. So that's one school in one town in Texas. Repeat that for every school in our town, because the pattern is the same. Five years ago....or even less....this was not an issue. Now it's whacking us in the face daily. It's an uneasy feeling to know that most of your new neighbors left just one step ahead of kidnappers. And that the group that does the kidnapping has plenty of "employees" on the Texas side. It's simply unnerving. You try it. It's no fun.

I believe you!

And you're welcome to move up North. Bring a sweater (or two)!

 

[EMom]

I believe you!

And you're welcome to move up North. Bring a sweater (or two)!

Sadly, I am allergic to wool.......Cotton and silk sweaters just don't ward off the cold as well as wool. What's an itchy girl to do?

BTW, besides my Aussie friends, some of the most fun people we ever wound up vacationing with were Canadians. We were in St. Kitts and somehow we Texans and the Canadians hit it off. Had a ton of fun with them.

 

[luvmy3]

I hate to jump into an even somewhat controversial theard. I have called the police for far less than what the OP described. And...oddly enough...DH was out of town both times.

One time - Boy Scouts were "supposedly" selling wreaths door to door. At 9:30 at night. While I realize they were wearing winter coats...I didn't see any Boy Scout apparel or insignia. And, they were not with any adults. I don't know - this just seems like they stole a wreath from someone's house and were trying to get money for it. If it would have been earlier in the day, they would have realized we already have a wreath. The most disturbing thing about this...Boy Scouts take orders in September or October for wreaths - it generally isn't a door-to-door selling function.

To the OP - I would have called the police too!

So were they really boy scouts?


OP, I'm not sure I would have called the police in that situation. I would have talked to her like you did but after I was assured she was okay I would have just told her she had the wrong house.
Of course if she was in trouble I would have let her in and then call the police.

 

[C.Ann]

I merely stated kids have been used as bait. You can wager bets all day long. It doesn't dispute the fact it has happened. What you choose to do with that fact is your determination to make. For better or worse, reading about crimes of this nature (crimes against Samaritans) does impact people.

I don't fault the OP for being cautious. IMO, the extreme you suggest about not going to work is not analogous to being startled at one's home.

Asking questions through the door would have been a good starting point. The OP was startled and fearful. She was wondering if she handled it right.

Good grief.

Can you believe it? Is there nothing a person can post on the DIS that doesn't turn into a heated debate as to who is right and who is wrong? I thought we were trying to get away from that kind of stuff here - or is it just me? It's really not worth the time and energy because no one is going to change their mind anyhow - right?

It's fine to have an opinion.. State it and move on.. No need to beat up on the OP for pages and pages - or each "other".. (Not directed at you..)

Where is that "fluff" thread from last night?

 

[Mimi1965]

Can you believe it? Is there nothing a person can post on the DIS that doesn't turn into a heated debate as to who is right and who is wrong? I thought we were trying to get away from that kind of stuff here - or is it just me? It's really not worth the time and energy because no one is going to change their mind anyhow - right?

It's fine to have an opinion.. State it and move on.. No need to beat up on the OP for pages and pages - or each "other".. (Not directed at you..)

Where is that "fluff" thread from last night?

In the OP's first post she asks "Do you think I overreacted?"That's what people are replying to

 

[cm8]

I would have called the police too, there is no way you would want to take a risk and open your home to someone unknown who could have facilitated bodily harm to you and your children. You never get another chance when your life is on the line.

 

[jodifla]

I did, thanks!

As for being that neighbor. The girl does not even live here. I have meet my neighbors and their children, she is neither. Oh well.

So, she was visiting perhaps? And that's why she got the house mixed up.

Are you going to call the cops every time somebody comes to your front door?

 

[allison443]

I did, thanks!

As for being that neighbor. The girl does not even live here. I have meet my neighbors and their children, she is neither. Oh well.

Well, who was she then? (Did you say? I might have missed it?) Didn't you tell your neighbors what happened and find out who she was going to? Or didn't you go outside and talk to the police while they were straightening it out? What did your neighbor say-did they explain or apologize to you?

edited to add, I don't blame you for calling the police.

 

[Mermaid02]

Hi! OP here. I did indeed talk to the girl through the door. I asked what she wanted, and told her I did not know her. Also why she was jumping up at the window of the door she had a weird grin on.

I did the right thing. If the girl need help or if something was not right the police would need to be called anyway.
Also the neighbor's house she said she going to looks nothing like me and she clearly saw me.

Thanks to everyone for their input.

Call the police? Over an 8 year old? No way!

I would have done the adult thing, which is to open the door, and try to help the child.

No wonder the police acted the way they did.

You are now "that" neighbor.

I'm sorry- an 8 year old, out at night, yelling to a "Mom" who didn't appear to be anywhere near and throwing herself at your door..... sounds like an episode of the Twilight Zone. Sounds like the kid has some issues- you don't THROW yourself at a door, you knock.

I wouldn't have let her in either- I would have watched out the window and spoken to her- and possibly called the police (thinking that she needed help more than to save myself- but either way calling the police)

I wouldn't worry about being "that neighbor" I'd be more worried to think I'm now the parent with "that kid" who throws herself at strangers doors and demands to be let in.

 

[happygirl]

I would have opened the door and saw what was going on with this child. If this child is throwing it self aganist the door. There was something wrong with this child.

 

[sandramaac]

I just don't get how a 8 year old can get a door and a house mixed up. I could understand a 5 year old, but a 8 year old?? Something does not seem right.

 

[luvmy3]

I just don't get how a 8 year old can get a door and a house mixed up. I could understand a 5 year old, but a 8 year old?? Something does not seem right.

Its not impossible for anyone to get a house mixed up, in the dark, in a neighborhood you don't know. We have no idea who this child was looking for or why, maybe the mom got the house mixed up and told her to go up to the OP's door. Since the OP didn't actually go outside she cant say for certain that there was no mom there, she is just assuming because she didn't see anyone. The mom could have been a little bit down the street. Granted banging yourself against the door is strange however I know alot of 8 year olds, and they aren't always teh most rational if you know what I mean. I know everyone in my neighborhood so the next day I would have known what was really going on, the OP said she is new there and maybe not in the loop yet.

 

[diznygirl]

I just don't get how a 8 year old can get a door and a house mixed up. I could understand a 5 year old, but a 8 year old?? Something does not seem right.

I've gone to the wrong door plenty of times. The last time it was because I was usually with someone else who knew the right house. I was doing it by myself this time and went to the house next door. Broad daylight, the houses look different, different colors. I just got it wrong.

I'm older than 8.

 

[Liberty Belle]

So, she was visiting perhaps? And that's why she got the house mixed up.

Are you going to call the cops every time somebody comes to your front door?

I had a friend who called 911 when someone knocked on her door around 11 one night. The dispatcher said, "Did you ask who it was?" My friend said no, and went to ask. It was a friend of hers.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I've been wondering when someone else would bring this one up, but as no one yet has. . .

The behavior the girl exhibited sounds to me a lot like the behaviors I've seen in bipolar teens and young adults, and those kids were exhibiting those behaviors far earlier than adolescence.

This is just one event in the child's life and a frightened, upset 8 year old will say and do things that aren't rational, but if that had happened to me, in our little neighborhood where we all know each other, I'd think the child had some sort of emotional/behavioral/psychological problems. There is NO way I would've opened the door, even though I would have for a child who ran up and knocked or told me someone was chasing her or any of a myriad of other reasons. (Even the ones who ding-dong-ditched at a slumber party the other day. . .and then got scared by all the big dogs in our neighborhood barking at them after 3 houses. )

A child who might or might not be in a psychotic state isn't something I want to deal with. Sorry, but no.

It sounds like the parents were trying to minimize the situation and fudging on what happened, which worries me a great deal. I've known a couple of bipolar adults who were abused as kids because their parents couldn't deal with kids who were emotionally taxing, trying and extremely defiant. So that would have all kinds of warning bells going off for me. If your kid is doing strange things, the worst thing you can do is blame it on someone else being overly anxious. That indicates an inability to face your kids' problems and a tendency towards deceit.

It's also possible I'm reading too much into this, but still. No. I would not have opened that door and I would be highly upset if any policeman tried to make me feel like I'd done the wrong thing in calling.